CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

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Posts Tagged ‘second marriages’

My Wonderful Valentine!

Posted by Cindy H French on 02/15/2014

As you know if you have been reading my recent posts, you know I am not up to par right now. Certainly not able to go out for a Valentine’s Day Dinner…but remember my earlier post this year about MR. WONDERFUL? Well, he is at it again, the card that makes you wonder how does he find things like these? I never can unless I write it myself. I had to make my card online since I could not go out, of course. And then my real present to him tonight was to print my MR. WONDERFUL post and give it to him. He hadn’t read it before. It was so great to see how much it meant to him though and that I would give it to him now after even more difficult months while I am once again going through the most difficult thing for both of us to deal with-my breathing issues. He won’t even kiss me because he is so afraid of taking my breath away!

His overwhelming gift to me–his care of me and for me, down to our lovely dinner but also going the extra mile in caring for our home here today because I cannot. Going to a new drugstore that was the only place in town that had my asthma medicine today, so many, many things that he does for me. I will never be able to thank God enough for bringing him into my life and allowing him to be my husband. This May it will be 36 years since we met and 34 years since we married. I am truly blessed.


Posted in asthma, Christianity, life stories, LOVE AND KISSES, Pleurisy, relationships, Religion, Valentine's Day | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »


Posted by Cindy H French on 03/30/2013

I have just come home from one of the most glorious Good Friday Services  I think I have ever attended! The Holy Spirit was there and just blessing us through the music and through the speaking of the Word. What was really special was that my sister had arranged with a couple of her “prayer warrior friends” to anoint me and pray for me before the service. What was REALLY GREAT was that my foot woke up! It had been asleep since I woke up “frozen” that Friday morning the 15th! Now that gives  me REAL HOPE that the rest of the things they prayed for me will happen as well. This important because today I was referred to a hematologist because they can not get my blood numbers to stabilize with the Coumadin I am on. It doesn’t seem to matter if I am on a lot or a little. I can have way too much or way too little-like today-way too little, but two bad nose bleeds and I’ve never had those before! That’s like the opposites of each other! How many times have I remarked I am strangely and wonderfully made??

Now let me tell you about MADDOX!  About midnight right after I posted my request that you pray for him, and you must have started immediately, because his mother said the ketones started coming down after midnight and NOW HE IS HOME! HOME FOR EASTER!! THANK YOU DEAR ONES WHO LOVE JESUS  AND LITTLE ONES TOO!  I found out that Maddox has to have insulin shots 5 times a day. I say, let’s all pray for his total healing so that this is not something he has to deal with the rest of his life. Let him learn early the healing touch of Jesus. So Please Pray and I will let you know when the Lord heals him.   

Now I will close with this blessing from Hebrews about the BLOOD of Jesus which is the only reason we are all here today together and looking forward to celebrating His resurrection on Sunday–because without that shedding of BLOOD There would have been NO RESURRECTION to celebrate.

Hebrews 13: 20-21  May the god of Peace who the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead  our Lord Jesus Christ, that great Shepherd of the sheep, equp you with everything good for doing his will and may he work in us what is what is pleasing to him through Jesus  Christ, to whom be glory for ever  and ever.  Amen. 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A CHALLENGE FOR YOU, A Thanksgiving Story | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »


Posted by Cindy H French on 05/29/2012



Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad,, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Cindy H French on 05/21/2012

Brand new 2

Brand new 2 (Photo credit: Andreas-photography)

I was recently asked to write about my experience with adoption. I had written a little of this in an earlier post, if it sounds a little familiar. 

In  1974, I was 22 years old and had an emergency hysterectomy. I was told how fortunate I was that I was already married and had a child. But I didn’t feel very fortunate! I had wanted 3 or 4 children, now that was obviously not to be. I wasreally confused. I thought that I had done everything in the world that would make God choose to bless me. He Had with the miracle birth of our daughter who was 13 months old at the time, but I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. Oh I had so much to learn!!

 But then in January 1976, in my quiet time of the morning, He spoke to me through scripture and told me to “prepare for the child He was going to give us!” I was thrilled, excited, overwhelmed and yes, scared all at the same time. Scared because what if I was imagining this? And if it is true, how were we going to pay for it?—minor details I hadn’t worried about when I was praying my desire! Still, I did what God said to do. I prepared.

We got down the crib and the baby clothes from the attic. And I washed and ironed everything. Put the clothes and blankets away in the drawers. Had the crib all set up, made curtains for a nursery and created that room for the baby to come. I know everyone thought I was nuts, but humored me.   

 Then in April I got a phone call from a friend. She had a friend who was pregnant and wanted to give up her child for adoption. Would we be interested??  Oh yes! We would be interested I told her and explained exactly how prepared we were and would she please tell the birth mother this. It might make her feel better knowing that this child was not an accident, but planned for me.

 Our daughter was born in the early morning of August the 8th.  She came early by a couple of weeks, so I was surprised when I got the call from our attorney (who was the go between). He said your new daughter looks just like you! She has dark hair and eyes and dimples in the same place as yours! He was amazed because of course there was no matching, but here was a baby who looked more like me than my natural child (blonde/blue eyed, and tall-she does have the dimples too). And let me insert here that years later, I am 5’4 and she is 5/2 ½ while my oldest is 5’8. My natural child has a very laid back personality and goes with the flow, but the child of my heart? We are just alike! Emotional, extroverted, service oriented. She has her own story to tell of how she has arrived at 35, almost 36 a professional nanny who specializes in ADHD children and multiples; who finally got everything straight with the Lord who protected her from the moment of her conception-because He had a plan for her life; who has been on 2 mission trips in South America to share the Good News of Jesus Christ and this year will go to Haiti.

 I could tell you that raising a child of your heart is easy, but I do not lie. And unfortunately for my child, her adoptive father left and divorced me when she was 2.

I married again when she was almost 4 and my husband has been her dad for the most part. She tried very hard in her teen years to live with her adoptive Dad, but there were so many issues on both sides, that it didn’t work. When she came home again, she brought the same problems with her and I certainly hadn’t learned the lessons I needed to learn that I have learned by now. So we all struggled, but we all loved, there was never any question of that on either side. I just kept praying and holding on to God’s promises that He has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) I knew He had saved her life for a special purpose. It may be to be that all important nanny. It may be that all important person who leads a seeking heart to Jesus. I don’t know. I do know The ONE Who Holds The Future and I am convinced that nothing can separate us from Him and His plan for us and His commitment to finish the work He began in us…whatever it takes.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Christianity, divorce, hysterectomy, life stories, Prayer, Relatioships, Religion, second marriages, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/19/2011

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text.  The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord?  Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer!  Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone  there will almost be instant rapport because you and  that person or their loved one has gone through  the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, aspergillus fungus, asthma, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »


Posted by Cindy H French on 11/03/2009

This is a really awesome video that my brother sent me today. I have shared with my GriefShare group and they thought it was great and timely!  Click below and enjoy!

Posted in ADHD, adoption, bankruptcy, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, divorce, GriefShare, high school reunions, hysterectomy, life stories, miscarriage, psuedo tumor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Early Tampa Years

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/24/2009

Our first home in Tampa had a nice big swimming pool. We moved in the summer, so the kids (and the dog) were in heaven. I loved it too as I got to stay home with them, doing a little secretarial work for Dennis’ business until they moved into their office in the Westshore area.  When Dennis would come home from work, we’d all go swimming together. We had such a great time those few months.

When fall came, it was back to school for the kids. We had moved where we felt the best schools were for them, but for Laurel, it was very hard. Her class had team teaching and ADHD kids don’t do very well unless they are in a structured environment. We worked very hard with her and her teachers. I went to work as an outside sales rep for a temporary staffing company. I thought that this was the best way to get to know the city and the players and really hadn’t met anyone that did search and placement like we did in Atlanta that I wanted to work with. Very quickly I got very consumed with the job and there were many late nights filling job orders for companies to which I had sold our service.

The company sent me to Atlanta for sales training as that was their policy. And it was great sales training! My second time up there, I fell on a broken sidewalk and broke my foot. I came home in a cast and on crutches, but went right back to work. It was my left foot, so I could drive. Of course, my foot didn’t really heal well and as soon as I was out of the cast and off crutches, I re-injured it. Still, I kept working, just in the office for longer this time.

Then my neck started acting up. I had had a car accident back in 1978 in which I had cracked a vertebrae and damaged nerves in my neck as well as sustaining a concussion. Now I was starting to have regular times of just not being able to move or lift my head. I had had occasional bouts of this in Atlanta, but after physical therapy, I always got better. This time, I didn’t really get better. I saw a chiropractor-he did help me a lot more than the therapist. He was very thorough-did a blood test, blood pressure along with xrays. At 36, I had high blood pressure, high chlorestorol and high triglycerides! Well, that scared me for sure! My parents had heart issues and I certainly didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. I changed my diet significantly. I also changed my employment. That changed my blood pressure!

Of course there is more to the story! Our Melissa had fallen for one of the sons of one of the people I worked with. She was 13, he was 18. We caught her sneaking out at night to meet him and Dennis went ballistic! He had had sisters and warned me to watch her more closely,but I of course, couldn’t believe that my daughter would do that! He pulled her out of public school and put her in a private, all girl’s Catholic school. They wore uniforms and no makeup. I picked her up every day and for 6 months, she didn’t have a social life of any kind. I have to admit it worked. We didn’t have any trouble with her behavior after that!

But at work, tension between me and my co-worker was very strong. She, defending her son and his being led astray by my daughter! Dennis wanted to prosecute the boy, but we didn’t. About this time, my dad was stricken with his heart and went through his first quadruple by-pass. Seeing him like that, something in me shifted and I knew that I didn’t want to wind up like that because of a job or my  circumstances.

Dennis and I decided that I would work part time for his company-marketing to designers and architects. Having grown up in the business with my mom and then my sisters and brother, this was an easy transistion for me. I was able to help the business and work the hours I needed to, but be home for the girls.

You notice there is still no God connection in all of these years. Yes, the girls occasionally went to church as I did. But He was not an important part of our home, our decisions, our conversation. I think He was letting the rope out with me. He says that He will never let us go once we are His-and eventually He was going to pull that rope up tight!

Posted in ADHD, adoption, cervical fusions, christian, chronic pain, life stories, second marriages, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Some Major Obstacles

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/24/2009

One of our challenges in our first house in Atlanta was a small deck and lot’s of pine trees. My husband was such a great handy man-do it yourselfer-before the HGTV stuff!

We had a big back yard and wanted a puppy for the kids and so he rented an auger-a posthole digger and proceeded to put a fence in. It was very physically taxing. I could only help with offers of water or food or occasionally moving stuff, but he did all the work. Then he proceeded to take down “extra” pine trees. He had a pulley with a chain, along with his other tools and he took down a bunch. One day while he was working outside, my daughter came rushing up and and told me to come to Dennis right away.  The pulley had broken and the cable had snapped back on his leg and torn it. He had a towel wrapped around it and was very calm, telling me I needed to take him to the ER. That was Dennis-still is-very calm when emergencies are happening! We went to the ER down the street and they cleaned him, stitched him up and gave him antibiotics. He was doing well, I thought, when a few mornings later, I saw red streaks running down his leg and I knew that meant blood poisoning. Back we went to the ER and got more meds. Again, Dennis was a lot calmer and less concerned than I was but he healed and was good to go! The next thing I knew, he was building onto our existing deck and expanding it all across the back of our house. It and he were amazing! We celebrated Laurel’s sixth birthday with all her friends on that deck. It was a lovely party because of him.

One of the hardest things we dealt with as parents was Laurel’s difficulties in school. She simply couldn’t stay in her seat! Yet she read National Geographic magazines-in the first grade! She also had a bladder problem. Her teacher suggested we take her to the pediatrician and find out what was going on. And so began our odessey to take care of Laurel…

We were referred to two doctors. The first was a pediatric neurologist. She did some testing with Laurel. After the first session, she called us and said that although there was more to do and she’d also give a written report, Laurel needed immediate help and she didn’t want to wait to give it. She ordered Ritalin for ADHD and also suggested we see a pediatric urologist. This was long before all the ADHD diagnosis’ or the use of Ritalin, but it did make an immediate impact on Laurel’s behavior and her ability to concentrate. The Ritalin also helped a bit with her bladder problems. Her brain and her body didn’t get the signals right that she had a need to go to the bathroom. With the urologist, we found out that she had a bladder the size of a pea. He operated, stretching out the bladder, which also helped, but didn’t eliminate the problem, especially at night. I must admit, this was not my finest moment as a mother! I should have found other solutions for her other than our daily unhappy, change the sheets sessions. Still with the medicine, Laurel improved greatly in school-she was/is quite intelligent and soon was bored with her studies. They put her in higher level learning classes and the education was great, but she was much too young and immature for her classmates. She was not a happy little girl…unless she was reading. She loved to read and read everything she could get her hands on! Then she’d tell you about whatever she had learned. We were always being amazed. Our only other issue with Laurel was her singing! The first time she sang, we all came running, thinking she was hurt or something. Of course, that wasn’t funny to her, but we admonished her after the 3rd or 4th time that she had to come tell us when she was going to sing. And she would! Wherever we were, whatever we were doing, she’d come and say “I’m going to sing now” and off she would go. Laurel still loves to sing!

Finally that last year in Atlanta, I changed my office hours to be home with the girls in the afternoon. I hoped that my being there would help with Laurel’s happiness and behavior. I have to admit, I was still too consumed with my responsibilities with work and spent a great deal of time on the phone instead of them…one of those things I’d definitely do over.

Posted in ADHD, adoption, christian, divorce, life stories, second marriages, single mom, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Settling Down to Married Life with Kids

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/24/2009

We first rented a house a Dunwoody and settled in. I continued working as a recruiter. Dennis was a manufacturer’s rep. The girls were in school and pre-school. As I look back on that time, I am amazed that we all adjusted as well as we did. The girls liked to help Dennis with “stuff” that he did-either around the house or garage or car. The only thing they didn’t like-ever, for any house, was yard work! Our only bumpy time was my trying to be super mom and super wife! I would put a full dinner on the table every night, do laundry, iron shirts, keep the house clean and that was after working all day. Of course other women do this-now and then-with my greatest admiration! But my problem was with the complaints I got at what I was trying to do!  The kids didn’t always like dinner. I didn’t get the shirts done like he wanted. Laundry always seemed to pile up without any help there…I tried to do better. Got up earlier, went to bed later-really didn’t stop. Just like every other working mom in America! but eventually the complaints and lack of cooperation got to me and I went on strike!! Yes, I did! That meant no cooking dinner, no laundry, no shirts starched and ironed, no house cleaned-nothing!

At first my family thought it was funny. But after 3 days, not so much. I have to say they were creative with dinner and they learned to work together with Dennis. The main thing was they all “got it”. Mom needed help and cooperation, not whining and complaining. So after a family pow-wow, chores were divided up, Dennis’ shirts went to the laundry, and he brought home a microwave oven which wasn’t a home staple appliance in 1980-but made my life so very much easier!

During our talks before marriage, Dennis and I had discussed my self image and my desire to have a breast reduction. I saw a plastic surgeon at Emory and arranged to have it done that summer after we married. During the exam, it was discovered that I had a major hernia down my midline from childbirth, so they were going to fix that too. I had the surgery and did very well. I was extremely pleased with my results. One day home from the hospital though and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. Dennis rushed me back to the hospital and they discovered a pulmonary embolism. I was very lucky-it was small and responded to medicine, but it did put my recovery back a bit.

Eventually I went back to work-with a vengeance-to make up for lost time and soon was made manager of the office. I loved what I did. I liked talking to people. I liked solving puzzles. To me, search was like finding the needle in the haystack that fit in with the other needles.  As Atlanta began to grow, my boss opened another office in the Norcross area. He asked me to staff it and run it along with the Lenox office. A big job, but I was so proud of my accomplishments and his confidence in me, I never thought that it would be too much. I just did it.

Now this was way before non-smoking offices–and everyone in our office smoked except for me! I started getting sinus infections and then chronic bronchitis-never realizing that they might be connected to the smoke. One time it got so bad, I wasn’t allowed to talk for 2 weeks. My husband had asked my office to hang up on me if I called in, which of course I did. I was grateful that this was during the end of the year and during the holiday period when things slowed down.

We had been married about 2 years when we started talking about relocating to Tampa, FL. My parents, sister and brother lived in Orlando. Dennis’ brother lived in Tampa and everytime we visited in January or February, I fell more in love with the area-especially the weather. Another year went by and Dennis tried for a transfer-in the middle of the trial period, the company withdrew from the market. He came home and we took our house off the market. (we had purchased a house in Roswell after our first year). I kept working, but my boss, in anticipation of my leaving had a hired a new manager. Unfortunately she was the antithesis of me-which meant we lost tenured employees-and for me, was very difficult to work with. Now I really wanted to move on!

Finally Dennis worked out a partnership with a guy in Jacksonville who wanted a Tampa office. He moved down while I stayed with the girls to get the house sold. It was a lonely time for me. Reminded me of being a single mom and made me so much more grateful for him and his care for me and the girls. After about 10wks on the market, we sold the house, loaded up our possessions in a big U-Haul truck-which Dennis drove and I followed in my car.

That was July 1984. You might notice that there was no mention of God or church or prayer for guidance. I was still in my “God mad”. We occasionally went to church as a family. I always took the girls to Sunday School-but that was it. I didn’t really see God’s care for me and mine those years, yet as I look back, He certainly was there carrying us and caring for us. Still, I was oblivious.

Posted in breast reduction, christian, divorce, life stories, pulmonary embolism, second marriages, single mom, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

40th High School Reunion!

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/13/2009

We had our reunion last wkend. It was a lot of fun to see everyone again. This was my first one to go to-other circumstances had kept me away from previous get togethers. What I found amazing is how so many of our group is still in the greater Atlanta area, so many marriages between high school sweethearts still going strong, and such accomplishments of the class!

This was also very cathartic for me personally. To get beyond those high school issues, thoughts, pain–to make new connections and renew old friendships–to now go forward with new relationships that will be stronger because they are founded in childhood but grounded in adulthood and how we can help/be there for one another now. In hindsight, I wish I had done this years ago, but God always has His timing right and being able to really share the deeper meaning of things with so many as well as seeing so many of my classmates with their own strong faith was absolutely awesome!

Posted in high school reunions | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

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