Thank you Diane for letting everyone know I was in the hospital again. It does seem like my second home, doesn’t it? but everyone should remember that the LORD HIMSELF said that when He brought me to the hospital, it was to do His work, and surprisingly I was able to accomplish that. Again, because of Him!
Friday morning I woke up and my left side didn’t work. I couldn’t communicate with my husband except that when I got his attention he could see he had to get me to the ER immediately. He dressed me in a sweat suit, socks and shoes and then half carried me down the hall to the elevator and then to the car. We are only about 10 minutes from the hospital and again, he half carried me in to a wheelchair. As soon as he said, “I think my wife has had a stroke”, the nurse took over and said come right this way-there was no name, no insurance-just let us help you. It turns out that this hospital is a Stroke Hospital. And from that moment on everything was done to diagnose and contain any damage. It was the most amazing thing. As I lay there on the table realizing that I couldn’t communicate… That I couldn’t smile correctly-that essentially my left side of my face was frozen-not working… That my left hand, I could move my hand, but not really do much with it and as far as my foot was concerned, it failed all the tests…I started really talking to my Father. I told Him that this simply wouldn’t do. I couldn’t stay like this. He either needed to come and get me or He needed to heal me. That to not be able to work would be a catastrophe for us in every way. I truly was ready for Him to come and get me-but He began to remind me of all of the reasons He had brought me to Atlanta and the need of my husband for me as well. So I talked right back and said ok-yes I want to live up to my responsibilities, but I need healing to do so. I can’t do the work you have given me to do in the state I am in now. He reminded me of what He had been saying all week the last week–follow my precepts. Ok, so what have I not done? Where has my heart failed you?…I didn’t get an answer to that…just ringing in my ears was follow me. They checked me into a room of course and told me that I was going to be very busy…and I was. I had people lined up to see me; a physical therapist, speech therapist, rehabilitation specialist, nutritionist–I am sure there were more. When they were all gone, I took a nap. I was exhausted! But when my husband came to see me that night, he could understand my speech; I could walk with the walker; I could sign my name…all huge improvements from just that morning!
The next day was more of the same; only more tests too. The tests they did, like the echo cardio-gram, I’ve had them before, but they add a bubble test to it. It seems that 30% of the population is walking around with a small hole in their hearts that didn’t heal from birth and sometimes a little teeny clot pops through that hole and goes straight up to the head. I had NEVER heard of that before! Again one more thing about being in Atlanta! I knew this was a God thing!
After that test, they sent me down to Xray. Guess who I met? Yes!! The reason I was there! A young lady who was ill with an autoimmune disease just like me, in pain like I have been, who wanted to and almost did commit suicide. I told ya’ll that I had had that fleeting thought when I was in such horrible pain before so I do understand, but I could not. Still here was a person who had gone almost there, except for the grace of God and probably protective angels around her. I shared with her extensively and she with me. Never have I had that kind of time with someone in radiology-but it was obvious that God was giving us this time and I made the most of it. Pray for her. You don’t need to know her name. God knows it. She still has issues to settle as I did. WHY? is a big one.
When I got back to my room, my doctor came in and said they had the results of the MRI that they had done and had compared them with the MRIs I had from Tampa that we had gotten for them. They needed to do another test because it looked like I have a tiny little aneurysm 2cm and they wanted to confirm it and make sure it wasn’t just a wonky artery. One more test that required a new IV which are very difficult for me. I have terrible veins especially where t hey needed this one to be. I blew 3 veins before we got one to hold long enough for the test. Still it blew at the end of it! The next morning I saw a new doctor. He is a neurosurgeon. If I had had my glasses on, I guess I would have known something of what he was going to tell me. Yes, I have a little aneurysm, but the good news is (I think) that it is not big enough to operate on; so they will watch it and scan it on a regular basis. As for the problems that I have when I turn my neck a certain way, I probably cut off the circulation due to my numerous neck surgeries, hardware, and possible degeneration of the discs. I should have it checked by the neurologist, along with the other symptoms we discussed which would require a spinal tap-again, check with the neurologist. The only thing a neurosurgeon does in this town is operate, I guess. Still, he didn’t poo-poo anything. He gave it serious consideration and said this is how that is tested. Do this. I appreciate that greatly. Again God put us in Atlanta just in time for this special care that I could not get in Tampa. He is always going before us and preparing the way. How could anyone not love and worship a Heavenly Father like this?
This was Sunday morning that I got all this news. I was sitting in bed waiting for my admitting doc to come and discharge me when the cleaning lady came in. She asked if she could come in, I said yes, of course. I was doing something. I can’t remember, but all of a sudden she said,”What size shoes are these? They must be a 2 or a 3 or something!They are so small! Your feet must be so tiny!” I looked over at her and I said”No I wear a 7. My feet aren’t so tiny.” But then I went on to say something about my sisters and mothers feet being larger-my mother wore a 9 and so did this woman. As soon as I said something about my mom, I just had words to say about who and what she was that God gave me and the woman stopped and listened and then she was crying. She said,” when they told me that I had to work this floor today, I was so upset, because it’s always a full floor and a hard one to work. But then I thought oh be grateful for your job-just make the best of it. And I did try hard to do that, but then I get here to your room and I hear what you have to say and I know that YOU are the reason I have this floor today. Thanks for sharing with me. It’s made the difference in my life now. thank you.”
None of you can imagine just how I felt at hearing those words. INADEQUATE, UNWORTHY, GUILTY. You know why I felt them. I had cried to the Lord, complained at the unfairness of it all, again. I tried to tell her that , but she wouldn’t hear any of it. She was grateful, I should be too and that was the end of it. So I am going to try! Today the Lord answered in a wonderfully positive way a question about my boss and me because we went about our ways honestly without deception as He has commanded us to do. I think that was also a sign that He is going to do great things business wise for me again if I will keep His precepts, following His ways, His laws, His every command and wish to me. And truly remembering what Jesus has done for me personally on that cross how could I do anything less? Truly I believe I will be completely restored to the abilities I had before the stroke, but hopefully not the person…hopefully this person, me, has learned an important and invaluable lesson in trusting the Lord. Really that is what all my “adventures” seem to be about, don’t they?