What A Month!

Last time I wrote, I was begging for prayers! We still need them, but I wanted to tell you what God has been doing, because He is listening to all of you. I thank you so much and so does my daughter.

The last week of February, my regular asthma and Bronchiectasis really kicked into high gear and I was in the ER twice. I have  also been hit very hard with low thyroid numbers all of a sudden. Yes, the dreaded MSA has attacked it. It is an organ too! I had no idea that the thyroid controlled so much of a person’s well-being (heart and lungs, but also extreme fatigue, the arteries and veins in your legs working well/or not!) I was sleeping 14-16 hours a day and it wasn’t enough. It was scary. I spoke with my provider and found out that the medicine doesn’t even start working until you have been taking it for 6-12 weeks! I told him I might die by then. I hated being so dramatic, but I have never been so weak and that was scary.  But then, last week I finally was able to see my pulmonologist and he put me on a higher and longer dosage of Prednesone than the ER had done. So far, that has been great. Lots what my husband calls false energy. Whatever, I’ll take it. I have been able to work again, finish up my doctor’s appointments and tests, even go out to lunch with my Sunday School ladies (which is a rare thing). Loved it! 

As for my daughter, she let me pray for her last week while we were on the phone before her last chemo appointment. What a privilege it is to pray for our children, really all our loved ones. They tell her the tumor has shrunk dramatically. I say Hallelujah to that! Now she is resting her body and getting ready for the major surgery she has to have on April 4th.  I would ask that you all circle that date on your calendars and keep her in prayer please? This is a long, very involved surgery. I don’t want them to find any surprises and it to go well!!

She and I had a rather long conversation on the phone today. We were able to speak of so many subjects close to both our hearts, I think.  It’s amazing that we are sharing a lot of the same symptoms too, even though our issues are so different. Still, I can’t help but remember 2 Corinthians 1:3-4  “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort; who comforts us in all our affliction so that we maybe able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

I may have mentioned that I am involved in an online Bible Study through Bible Study Fellowship International. I haven’t been able to attend since moving to the Panhandle because the location was so far away, even when I did drive. We have ladies of all different ages and backgrounds and places in the US that wanted a Monday 4 pm study like I did. I am so grateful for them as well. They have been so faithful to pray for me and for my Laurel. When we have prayer requests in our group, we actually do pray them and guess what? God Answers! What a great blessing it has been to see our faith and prayers in action come to fruition.

Cindy

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What A God Of Miracles!

The last time I wrote, my youngest daughter had just been diagnosed with breast cancer. Since then, in very short order, she has seen the breast oncology reconstruction surgeon and today, the oncologist. They’ve told her that even though it is stage two, it’s a very aggressive cancer. She is going to go through 20 weeks of chemo which will be very strong with two different meds. The first month to eight weeks every other week they will be letting her body rest between sessions. If she is holding up well, they increase to every week until they are done. Then she rests her body for a month, before having the first of several reconstructive surgeries. Once they are done, she has 12 weeks of another medicine she needs and then she starts radiation. The doctor told her and her husband that she thought they would be done with this before their first anniversary next September!  Yes, that is a long time, but they have to get the tumor smaller and she will also have a PET scan this week to see if the cancer has moved beyond her breast. Once all the work is done, she will take Tamoxifen for five years.

So you may have read all this and wondered at my title. It is literally true though in that the lump was found about a month ago. I know it is just about impossible to get a mammogram, then an MRI, and a biopsy and a meeting with the top breast oncologist reconstruction surgeon in Atlanta–who also told her it would take a week or two for her to see the oncologist–but somehow, three business days later she is meeting with the oncologist who wants to start her life saving treatment next week! This gives her time to have a port put in (surgery tomorrow) a brain MRI, a PET scan and an EKG!

Yes, it is going to be a hard first year of marriage and of treatment. But I know my Lord who gave her both physical and eternal life has her by the hand and will be walking, sometimes carrying her through this. And then through the following years with meds and follow ups and tests. It is hard. I walked a similar path long ago and I didn’t have anything like she has, but you still wonder has it come back every time you have something wrong with you again. AND YOU KNOW I ALWAYS HAD SOMETHING GOING WRONG!

As for me, I just know that somehow God will keep me together for her. For the first time in years, “She needs her mama.” So I am working hard on my physical therapy and have asked for speech therapy help. It will help me with my swallowing and choking problems when I eat and well as some voice issues. Just part of the disease…

What I am asking for–begging for— are your prayers for my daughter, first and foremost. Then secondly that both of us as her parents will also hold up and be able to be there for her and her husband.

Thank you,

Cindy

No Good News Today!

My youngest daughter, the child of my heart called me tonight to let me know the results of her breast and lymph node biopsies. I am so sorry to say that they called early this evening to let her that she has cancer. I knew this was coming because I spoke with God about it last week and He told me that He and she were going to walk a hard path for a while. Still, you hope and pray for a miracle!

Her tumor and the lymph node are large and very involved. She said that the doctor wants to do chemo and radiation before taking anything out. Frankly, she is scared to death! I understand. She is only 42 and newly married. 

Still, I told her that God is on HIs throne. That she had to turn to Him for comfort and understanding and peace. There is NO PEACE without Jesus Christ! She has faith, but I tell you from experience that this is a different, harder walk than anyone can imagine except those who have gone through it. If it were not for Him, I would have NEVER survived all that I have!! And believe me at this moment, I would take her place so that she wouldn’t have to go through this. But God said I mustn’t interfere in their relationship and how it will grow and be close like mine and His. I would never sacrifice all the lessons I have learned through my own trials to get to the point of our relationship too.

This morning’s devotional said that the more praying we have in our world, the better the world will be and the mightier the forces against evil everywhere. Prayer for me is just talking to my Abba Father as He promised to be when He took my dad to be home in heaven with Him. Believe me when I say that since this started 10 days ago/2 weeks? I have been praying constantly, either by voice or Spirit. All I am asking of those who read this post that you be praying too. Her name is Laurel.

It’s Hard To Believe It’s Been Five Months…

However, I have just been through the hardest months of my life! As I look back over all I have ever been through, I have often wondered, except for the Lord, I know I would have never made it! That is certainly true of these last few months! Except that this time, I got impatient and angry. I decided it wasn’t fair, in all honesty. I had just had enough. You see in October, I contracted this weird inner ear/balance issue called labrynthitis. Didn’t really get over that before I came down with MRSA and then had to be treated with IV antibiotics, the  first two of which was highly allergic to! But I went every single day from Thanksgiving until February 1, eventually having to have surgery to clean it out. It is a nasty bug and it can always come back.  Then February 4th, I went into the hospital with clots and severe asthma. I spent a week in the hospital with that.

The Lord says He always has a purpose for what He allows in our lives. He definitely believes in “those teachable moments.” Mine came Friday night watching some different people on Christian TV (the 5th). There were so many things said that just broke my heart. I could see that I was exactly where I needed to be. I had already been introduced to new doctors that for the first time in my life actually seemed to get that certain issues that I thought should be addressed would be addressed. Hopefully this isn’t TMI, but I have a clotting problem obviously as this is the third time for clots in my lungs (see my posts from July 2012) and I have had 3 strokes. The hematologist asked me if I was northern European by descent (Scottish, Irish, English)-yes to all. It turns out, they have a known clotting issue. So I find out on this Tuesday if that is one of my problems. The pulmonologist is also first-rate. He has seen me 3 times since I got out of the hospital, even had to send me back last week as I was in the middle of another attack plus bronchitis. He does believe that there are medicines that with the right testing, my life can be turned around. But mostly, I realized, I needed an attitude adjustment!!

On top of that three weeks to the day that I had gone into the hospital, I had to put my husband in as his heart began to fail again. Unfortunately some very poor cardiologists made some bad choices for him in taking him off of his heart medications in the last 2 years and that is pretty much why he is in trouble now, according to the new cardiologist we have. Please pray for him especially! He has prescribed a brand new congested heart failure medicine for him, plus there is going to be lots of new testing in the next several months. We are hoping that he won’t have to have a new pacemaker/defibrillator installed in the fall.

Today’s devotional from JESUS CALLING by SARAH YOUNG is very special to me.

“Trust Me One Day  At A Time. This keeps you close to Me, responsive to My will. Trust is not a natural response, especially for those of you who have been deeply wounded. My Spirit within you is your resident Tutor, helping you in this supernatural endeavor. Yield to His gentle touch; be sensitive to His prompting.

Exert your will to trust Me in all circumstances. Don’t let your need to understand distract you from My Presence. I will equip you to get through this day victoriously, as you live in deep dependence on Me. Tomorrow is busy worrying about itself; don’t get tangled up in its worry-webs. Trust Me one day at a time.”

Psalm 84:12 O Lord Almighty, blessed is the man who trust in you.

Matthew 6:34 therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

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Please understand that I am NOT saying that I do this well at all! I don’t. I haven’t. I am trying. I am sharing this out of my deepest thankfulness for people in my life who have loved me, prayed for me, supported me, cared for me anyway-even when I was so desperate and angry and so weary I wasn’t sure I could go on. Thank the Savior that He understands all of this. That there is such infinite GRACE!

Cindy

NEW CHALLENGES

I know that I have said time and again how faithful our Lord is, but this summer again in particular instances, He has shown once again how loving and involved in each life, He is! As I speak with people each day, I am still astounded at how He leads me to certain people who either need Him or know Him and we can rejoice together! As usual there have been physical challenges as well, part of the reason I haven’t written as much. I have found that most of the time it has been all I could do to do my work for the day. I had thought that after I had back surgery to remove a cyst off of my spine which had wrapped itself around several nerves and caused me great pain and difficulty walking, was really past the bad stuff! I have had blocks in my neck before and I did need that before we were finished with everything. Unfortunately my problem is at C2/3 and they cannot fuse it or I could never move my head again! So I was told the best thing was to burn the nerves and that would take care of the pain. The problem though, has been an extreme side effect called Ataxia. You lose the control of your legs.  Sometimes I am walking and it is just as if I don’t have any legs at all, they give out on me. So I fall or just sit down abruptly. Most of the time, when I am walking, though, my legs just look spastic. My doc has assured me that this will clear up within another week! I hope so. So far, it has been 3 weeks today. What I have read, says 7-10 days. Physical therapy will start working with me this week and see if we can speed up the process.

My other issue is spiking blood pressure. It goes very high and then will get down to a reasonable level. We are working with new meds on that! This is a problem that my mother had. Hers would just go up and down and up and down too. Its very weird. I have a great internist though and like I said brand new medicine to take.

So any of you who know me would know that I would go straight to my Lord God about all this. He has set my path. I know this like I know the back of my hand. Yesterday, He reached out to me through my devotional. Many of you know I read Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. So yesterday was talking about the human body and inevitable effects of aging. That even if I were a superb athlete, which I am NOT, most cannot maintain their fitness over many decades. But this is specifically what it said ” Do not be anxious about the weakness of your body. Instead, view it as the prelude to My infusing energy into your being. Though the process of aging continues, inwardly you grow stronger with the passing years. Those who live close to Me develop an inner aliveness that makes them seem youthful in spite of their years. Let my Life shine through you, and you walk in the Light with Me.” Isn’t that beautiful? And of course the first scripture verse was Psalm 139:14 I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. This particular scripture is one that I have really gone to the Lord about many times in my life. If you’ve read my stories, you know that I don’t have a perfect body according to human eyes, human thoughts. What My Lord has taught me through all of these things is that I must depend on Him for my very breath and heartbeat; that the people he has me meet through the issues are put there for a purpose. So please pray that I will be mindful of these things as I recover!

I mentioned that God had been faithful, oh so faithful. I cannot begin to count the ways and He wouldn’t want me to! But He has just blessed us so incredibly this summer in ways we never would have dreamed. Still, our Lord knows our heart and our deepest longings. I believe that if we are faithful to Him, He answers us!!! One of the ways I can talk about is my business that finally it seems that it is coming together. I know that I am going to get better as God even went before me and has arranged a business trip (short) to Houston in 3 weeks. I have been wanting to go for a year and now it has all come together in perfect timing for everyone. I know my Lord. I will be ready.

One last thing I will leave you with is from my devotional today. “The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. Remember that all good things-your possessions, your family and friends, your health and abilities, your time- are gifts from ME. Instead of feeling entitled to all these blessings, respond to them with gratitude. Be prepared to let go of anything I take from you, but never let go of My Hand!” Psalm 139:23-24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

Believe me, this is a truth from the Lord. I have had this happen. But He has restored everything. Now, I have to hold onto the lesson.

In Light of the Recent Planned Parenthood Videos…

There has been a lot of questions, comments from both the “Christian” and secular world. Before anyone reads what I have written, please understand, I am not condemning anyone for an action they may have taken. God is always there to forgive. He says that He forgives all sin even your rejection of Him right up until you die-then it’s too late. I know that’s why Jesus came, because God is love and mercy and grace. But He also requires repentance and acceptance of His Son’s sacrifice, not so that you have to obey a bunch of rules and regulations and “conform.” But so that HE alone, who loves you so much, comes inside that body, that spirit-regardless of what you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve said–and makes you clean and pure again. It’s really a miracle in and of itself. So understand please, I am not holding myself up as a paragon of virtue, but a sinner who found a savior.

I wrote this paragraph below in response to someone’s query of God help us…in response to the videos. He gets a lot of readers to his posts. then I thought I could do no less.

In Psalm 139, it says that God is there when our innermost parts are knit together. Why in the world does no one think that abortion is not murder for convenience? Now that they can sell body parts, it has become about that too. No wonder God has taken His Hand of protection off of America. How can He bear looking down upon our world today?
The disciples asked Jesus when they could look for His coming again. He said, “When it is like the days of Noah.” I would challenge anyone to go back and read about the wickedness on the earth when God was grieved that He had even created man. Yet found one good man, Noah. Noah and his family were saved because Noah listened and believed.
If we were to look around today at the wickedness in our world, I am sure that those in Noah’s world, could not have even imagined such evil! And yet the Lord delays. I am sure it is for that last one to come to know Him in a personal way. They say that thousands in China and across Asia come to Jesus everyday. People in India, and in so many Muslim countries are seeing visions of Jesus or dreaming of Him because that is the only way they might hear of Him, but they want to know the TRUE GOD.
The TRUE GOD says in the book of Isaiah, Seek me, and you will find me.
God is not a liar. Try Him, anyone who reads this and doesn’t know Him.

Something Happened Today

Something marvelous happened today to me through work and I thought I would share it quickly. I do share my faith often with people who I am working with as you may know. In this particular case, a brand new firm that I hope to do business with, the Managing Partner told me last night that unfortunately she would be out today as her daughter was having surgery. I simply remarked that I would pray for her daughter, which I did. What was amazing was the email conversation that started as a result.  That Managing Partner is a fellow believer in Christ. I asked when the surgery was taking place and it was happening as we were emailing. I had already been praying in my spirit, but I stopped everything and began to pray in earnest for this precious daughter. The Lord indicated to me that it was a tumor before I was even told it was a tumor. So I did know how to pray. I wasn’t positive, but I thought I knew what the leading was. When I wrote back and asked “how are things now?” I was told the daughter was out surgery and the tumor looks to be benign. Of course, I was praising God, my amazing, wonderful God for answering our prayers. Two mothers praying together for a daughter. Then I thought, how terrible of me, to not have expected this of my Lord. He answers prayers all the time. The problem is we don’t pray together, believing Him. He who put the stars and the sun and the moon in their places! He can do anything!

I read from Sarah Young and her Jesus Calling devotional. Today it says, TRUST ME IN EVERY DETAIL OF YOUR LIFE. nothing is random in My kingdom. Everything that happens first into a pattern for good, to those who love Me. Instead of trying to analyze the intricacies of the pattern, focus your energy on trusting Me and thanking Me at all times. Nothing is wasted when you walk close to Me. Even your mistakes and sins can be recycled into something good through My transforming grace.

While you were living in darkness, I began to shine the Light of My Presence into your sin-stained life. Finally I lifted you up out of the mire into My marvelous Light. Having sacrificed My very Life for you, I can be trusted in very facet of your life.

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, whose confidence is in him.”  Jeremiah 17:7

We are assured and know that [God being a partner in their labor] all things work together and are [fitting into a plan] for good to and for those who love God and are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28 AMP

“he drew me up out of a horrible pit {a pit of tumult and of destruction], out of the miry clay (froth and slime), and set my feet upon a rock, steadying my steps and establishing my goings.” Psalm 40:2

“But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” I Peter 2:9

God is so great and so good to us. He is Risen! He is Risen Indeed!