Full Disclosure

I had my heart procedure yesterday and guess I wasn’t up to writing this when I re-read it this morning. I have corrected my writing!

The last few times I have written I have alluded to more health issues than I wanted to go into. Last Thursday, I got my DaT scan from Mayo. It is the definitive test for Parkinson’s or Multiple System Atrophy. I have Parkinson’s. Mine seems to be the slow growing kind, thank the Lord. Some people have the aggressive kind and degenerate quickly. My local doctors once told, both said that now everything about me made more sense! All I know is that the brief amount of time that I’ve had to read about it, I do fit with the symptoms. Some I didn’t even want to acknowledge. But they are all there. I don’t shake much because I take an awesome medicine named Primidone that really works for me. I do have some bad days where I seem to shake a lot, but up until now, I’ve just taken another pill. We always thought it was Essential Tremor, but when I read about that, it’s only on one side, one limb. Unfortunately for me, without meds, my whole body shakes. But all the other things you’ve read from my writings, the dizziness, the falls, the fainting, the orthostatic hypotension, post orthostatic tachycardia, and other things I won’t mention are all a part of this.

Everyone has been asking me how I am. I am completely fine, actually relieved! It’s nice to know what’s wrong with you-that you aren’t nuts!!! Even 3 years ago when I wrote about the Ataxia, that was a symptom. I don’t why the local docs didn’t put it altogether, but I am ever so glad for my neurologist in Panama City who did and who has now moved back to Mississippi! I will meet one of his associates for the first time next week and we will decide where we go from here. One wonderful thing is that Mayo has a huge research center for Parkinson’s and they are looking for volunteers-don’t know if they’d have me of course. But at least they have Parkinson specialists there. Another note is that Parkinson’s is a muscle disease. Lungs are muscles, so no wonder I have more trouble with my lungs than just asthma! And the heart is a muscle too of course. I guess that’s why I have trouble with it too.

Tomorrow I am going to the Cath Lab for my second time in less than 2 years. The doc admitted that I have serious heart disease. Not my fault, it’s genetic. Both parents and all four grandparents had heart issues too. Plus I am allergic to the Statin drugs for cholesterol and mine is sky-high regardless of diet.  It will be strictly the Lab, I can’t be carried off to the operating room even if I need it. My lungs won’t stand that kind of operation. So the Lord is going to have to really do some work on me-miraculous work. Say a prayer for me tomorrow ok? The procedure is a 7 am Central time.

So how did things go? I did have complete blockages in some very small arteries  that they couldn’t stent. I also had a partial blockage in a larger artery, but apparently not enough of one to stent. Still all said, enough to make me have the chest pain and breathlessness that I have been having. The doc said he’d be prescribing some additional meds for that. To me, things came out great! I certainly didn’t want to add to my stent count! But it was a wake up call that I need to get back to my physical therapy and recumbent bike riding.

One Psalm that kept running through my head through all of this was Psalm 100:

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Now that the Lord, He is God; It is He  who has made us and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting. And His faithfulness to all generations.

Cindy

 

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Squeezed In A Visit To Atlanta!

My baby sister had her 50th birthday last weekend. Her husband decided to give her a very big bash and so many friends and family joined in the celebration. 

We arrived on Wednesday so that I could lunch with my younger daughter who has her wedding to an awesome young man happening Labor Day weekend. She had a list of things for me to complete/find for her still as well as getting to go to her dress fitting and alterations. So thrilled!

On Friday, we met my sisters for mani/pedis and massages and lunch! It was so awesome because Laurel needed commitments from each of them for help for the wedding day set up. Of course she got it, but she had been anxious. I am so excited that she is seeing that adoption has nothing on blood when it comes to times like these. We are family!! (for more information refer to my blog post Child of My Heart)

Friday night we had a big family dinner at my first-born daughter’s home. Even my nephew/his wife/children and my niece were there. I couldn’t help but be euphoric the whole night at everyone in one place, celebrating Holly, my sister, but also my daughter’s wedding to come. Just enjoying being together as family.

I realize that so many families do not celebrate each other. They are not close at all. If you are one of those, then know that you are part of God’s forever family. WE would have welcomed you in that Friday night or Saturday night at the official celebration. Because of my brother-in-law’s careful investigation into our family genealogy, we found out that our family history goes back quite a ways and some people might consider it quite stellar. I on the other hand, could only continue to say “thank you God that I am in YOUR family, no other family matters!”  Because in truth, that is so! All that is really important is who we are in Christ Jesus. WE ARE HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, He says. I don’t think I am sour grapes on this, just looking at heaven, because the things of this earth are a whisp of smoke. I believe I’ve written that before too! I do believe it!

So scriptures tonight are abundant as many spoke to me during this time.

Psalm 42:1-2  As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 

Philippians 2:15  So that you many become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

Proverbs 3:5  Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.     

Isaiah 30:15  For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. But you would not.

God says “Remember, I made you in My Image, and I hid heaven in your heart. When you yearn for Me, it’s a form of homesickness, as heaven is your true home. Seek ME and you will find me. (Jeremiah 29:13) 

G’night

Cindy

Back Home!

We were gone for 12 days! I can’t remember being gone so long from my home before! Yet, it was a renewal in so many ways for us as a couple, for me to see God’s continued faithfulness, for me to expand my abilities physically. 

When I last stopped writing (because I was having trouble with posting on my IPad), we were to visit Chimney Rock the next day. Still on oxygen and my walker, we were told I would have to walk almost 2 complete football field lengths to get the elevator from where the shuttle had dropped us off.  All I knew was that I had to try!  So very slowly and carefully, across uneven terrain, I finally made it to the area where they had built an elevator shaft into the mountain to take us up to Chimney Rock…as we went out to the site and I saw the river below and all of God’s great abundance of creation, I was almost brought to my knees! It was so beautiful! And how Chimney Rock is carefully placed upon another smaller rock and balanced can only be something God did! My husband was able to climb the stairs to the top of the Rock and see everything. Still, when he came down, he told me that what I had seen was the same view as he had!!

As we slowly made our way back to the shuttle, another couple with children who had apparently watched my progress up and down with interest, asked me, “Was it worth it?”  “Of course it was,” I answered, so proud of myself that I had accomplished so much (for me) and that meant I could have future goals too. (We’ve already begun to set them by the way–I intend to live a while, the Lord willing)

So my devotional that day was about self-pity!!  This little bit I will add to this post: from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of my Presence shining down upon you…You can reach up and grasp My hand. I will pull you out into the Light again. I will gently cleanse you, washing off the clinging mire. I will cover you with My righteousness and walk with you down the path of Life.

 Scriptures:  Psalm 40:2-3 he lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 147:11 The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

More coming,

Cindy

AFTER THE BILTMORE HOUSE

How surprising memory is! I remember being so awed by the house-almost overwhelmed.  I hadn’t seen anything like that before! Now, besides the gardens, the incredible ceilings and just the overall size of the estate, I just wasn’t struck.  I don’t know if I’ve seen so many other incredible places by now in my life, or my eyes, priorities are just in a different place? Like I said in my previous post, there is NO ONE that is more creative than our God. Things in a house can be pretty, comfortable or speak to a particular lifestyle. But this house, I found myself wondering about George Vanderbilt who built it as a single man, then after it was completed, married and had a daughter. The he died of complications from an appendectomy! His wife managed his estate and investments from then on and raised her child alone. How sad an ending for one of the richest men in America at the time! Do you ever find yourself wondering where the person’s soul is when death is announced? I do, maybe weird, but I always pray to the Lord that He will fix this particular issue. I always hope that the person had a “come to Jesus moment” before they actually died.
Anyway, the really awesome few moments happened when I was alone, waiting for my husband to ring up the car (parked a long way away) This man was getting his back pack on and I remarked it was nice. We are looking for a small one for me. When I have to wear my oxygen (all the time so far in TN and NC) it fits cross body and also makes it difficult to put a purse on my shoulder so it will stay. Dennis thought a backpack might be the perfect thing, but so far we haven’t found a store. So I’ve made do with his cargo pants pockets. He carries an extra oxygen battery, my inhaler and a lipstick! My back pockets carry my phone, a couple of cards, little bit of cash. So he and I had a nice conversation. You know it got around to Jesus!! He was a fellow believer but said he need strengthening. Then he told me something amazing about Stonewall Jackson. He had such faith! He said to people, like I do, “God wrote the number of my days in the Book of Life before I was ever created. When the last day comes, I am ready.” The reason he told me of course, was something else I had said. What a blessed few minutes together sharing our faith! I don’t know his name, nor he mine, but out of all the people there…
It’s been a good day, but long and still there is dinner!

Tomorrow we will go to Chimney Rock and it’s state park. A little more laid back I hope.

My scripture tonight:  Jeremiah 32: 27  Behold I AM the Lord, the God of all flesh: is there any thing too hard for me?

I love this one! How true! Just let your mind really think on each of those words as the meaning of the scripture. It is still true today.  (And the capitalized I AM, The Lord, the God of all… He is giving you His names.) They say Who He is…look into that. When you know the names and the character of God, it is so much easier to trust Him!

Cindy

SEEING GOD’S GLORIOUS AMERICA

I am traveling on a trip that God has been so gracious to give us. I have to admit the first couple of days were hard. My husband was so very tired that except for going to the top of Lookout Mt. we cancelled our other plans. We did have a fabulous dinner last night downtown in a little Bistro I found online. Fresh trout grilled smoky with some grape tomatoes and herbs. Probably the best way I’ve ever had trout!

Today we traveled through the gorgeous North Carolina mountains. Everywhere I looked I could see our Lord’s creative hand! For the next 3 days we are staying in Asheville. There are so many places to see! Tonight we were referred to a Grill  to too far away. Dennis had a 14 oz prime rib! I haven’t seen him eat that much meat since before his heart surgery 11 years ago! And I had really great lamb chops! I ate more meat than I ever do. It was like we were starved for meat.  Great meal.

Today we go to the Biltmore Estate. Sometimes I guess it’s good to be disabled and senior. Our tickets were so much more affordable. A blessing! Looking forward to our day!

Today my scripture is from Psalm 89:8  “0 Lord God of hosts, who is a strong Lord like unto Thee? or to Thy faithfulness round about Thee?”  See everywhere in scripture it speaks of our faithful God. I am living proof of that as are so many, many others.

Have a great day!

Cindy

My New Site Look!

I thought after 9 years that it was time for a new look. What do y’all think? I have to thank my fabulous friend Diane for the technical help. I am challenged y’all know!

I did just want to bring your attention to a verse or two today. I can promise you that if you start your day with God, it will make a difference in your day as you go along. You will be aware of His presence and you can trust in His guidance of your thoughts and words as you go along in the day. I know the difference it makes in mine!

Psalm 48:9  Within your temple, O God, we meditate on your unfailing love.

Psalm 5:2-3  Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God, for to you I pray. In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning, I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation.

Deuteronomy 33:27  The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms.

Psalm 37:4  Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.

I think you know by now that I have so many favorite scriptures. And guess what? God always reminds me of them, just when I need to hear them again and be reminded again of His faithfulness. Why we humans can’t learn at the first lesson!!! I hope I have learned His absolute faithfulness by now, but then when I worry or am anxious about something, He reminds me again, “When have I not been faithful to you?”

I realize that some who have read or just know my life story really wonder about God’s really loving me, or my really deep feelings about Him. I can only say that this faith is so deep within me that when someone dies, whether I know them or not, I wonder immediately if they knew my Jesus and hope so. I know that when I read a FB post of longing for peace, searching for it in an article of some kind, I immediately reach out to try to answer about the PRINCE of PEACE! I find that the older I am, the more this is part of my very fabric of ME. I hope that pleases my Heavenly Father and my Savior. Believe me this is not the natural me, it’s just a compelled me.

Just some thoughts…

Cindy

My Thoughts on My God

This is a reply that I wrote to someone today about my thoughts on God. I thought I would share as I felt as if I had worshipped Him when I finished writing.

In the first chapter of the Book of John, verse 12, it says ” But as many as RECEIVED HIM, to them He gave them the right (the Latin word is power) to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name. So this is where I would say that the Lord God is in ME, because I’ve asked Him and the Holy Spirit to come and live in me (Rev 3:20)…so there is no separation between me and my Father God. In John 14:6, Jesus says I am the Way, the Truth and the Life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. So that creation out there for the most part has rejected God or followed false gods as they have from the beginning. If you believe the creation story in Genesis (and I do) then you know that Adam and Eve wanted to have the knowledge that they were promised by Satan and turned from God’s direction to have it. People are still doing that today. I would tell you that besides my coming to faith, my life really took off when I began to study God’s Word. It truly changed my life. It is His love letter to His children. Certainly I read other things, but not about other gods or beliefs. They can do nothing for me. My God is Faithful always.  He says to seek Him with all your heart and you will find Him. He says to try Him, but not to test HIm. He will never fail you. He never lets you go once He has your hand. Sometimes I feel far away because of my actions or my words and when I come back and apologize, He says, “I never left you. I had you the whole time.” If you knew my whole story, then you would know the Truth about our God. He does miracles. He leads and I follow, He guides, He answers. He is not a THING up there somewhere, but a real, living God, Almighty in ALL things! I am proud to worship HIM!

Cindy