CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Posts Tagged ‘breast cancer’

June 13th Was My Birthday!

Posted by Cindy H French on 06/21/2014

IMG_0615As many of you know, I consider it quite an accomplishment when I get to celebrate another birthday! And so it was this year too! First, I should count my many blessings: my husband of 34 years whom I love so much! My wonderful kids-actually grown women now and son-in-law, and 3 fabulous grand girls! Then there are all of my extended family, my 5 siblings and their families. I have such great sib in-laws, and nieces and nephews and 2 grand-nephews. Then there are my cousins and their families. I look back through the pictures of my life and it has passed so fast so far! I have so many wonderful memories. Not that I plan on stopping making memories, but today I feel very blessed. The picture which I will attach and am going to try to change on the Gravatar is what we took last Friday night. I was full of fresh oysters, shrimp and pompano (a wonderful fish)! All fixed at home, so far we do it better than anybody we’ve found locally! And I do make this wonderful salsa to go with the fish and shrimp. Marvelous!

As I have said so many times, it is the Lord’s blessing that I am here. We do believe that we are living in Paradise on earth anyway, back in FL. I have been able to find some genuinely caring doctors who have gone above and beyond to see to my care. I thought that I would simply see a breast reconstruction surgeon when I got to FL as that was what I was cautioned by my oncologist. I had a lump that was needle biopsied after an MRI couldn’t tell clearly what the lump was. When I brought the MRI to the FL surgeon and we discussed the lump, he said he wasn’t as concerned with getting that out as he was with the picture of my other breast. He showed us that it clearly showed the implant was millimeters from pushing through my skin! This would have been catastrophic on many levels he said. Immediate overwhelming infection, and less so, they couldn’t put the implant back in for 6-12 months. He emphasized the need for immediate surgery which I couldn’t believe they got approved so quickly with my insurance company. Once he got in, he said he found a mess. The previous breast surgeon I had after my double mastectomy had put in silicone implants, one that ruptured. When he replaced it, he never bothered to clean out the silicone. So it’s been flowing around loose in my body for all these years. It probably has something to do with the immunity disorder that I have as I have read that the silicone ruptures did lead to immunity issues in people. All I can say is it’s a good thing he is retired!!! Because of all the mess, it took 3 hours to do my surgery.  This surgeon has been incredible. I asked him about his bill and he said I would never see one. I asked if he was sure that Mentor would pay for my implants, he said absolutely. The hospital care was great too. Even his follow-up care has been above-board. He saw me in the office on a Sunday last week because of course, I have some infection. But he wanted to check me himself instead of sending me to the ER. Can you believe that? And he had already driven an hour out-of-town to do military stuff for 9 days. He is the only guy they use!!

Today I had another block in my back after seeing a neurosurgeon who wants to do a sacroiliac join fusion which he thinks will help my pain hugely. But the catch is being off of my right leg weight for 6-8weeks and I live in a townhouse. I need a stair lift and right now that isn’t doable anymore than more surgery is–maybe late this fall? In the meantime, I have a great pain management doc and he schedules me really fast. We saw him Wed and I had the block today. I have no pain at all in the joint. It usually takes a few days for the muscle going over to my hip to get the medicine to, but here is hoping it works for a while!

I have had the most difficult of business weeks. I don’t think I could have managed without my devotional and all of the scriptures from Jesus Calling. Please pray for me that next week goes well as it is a very important week of interviews!

So now we have been here 3 months. Slowly making friends with our neighbors and people at the church. It’s been hard with me being down, but I hope to start having people over for dinner! And I can’t wait for Bible Study to start in the fall. Bible Study and Sunday School that’s where you make your best friends.

so I think that is enough of an update for now.

Cindy

 

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Posted in 4 spritual laws, Back Sprains and Sacroiliacjoint Issues, Beast Reconstruction, breast cancer, christian, Christianity, Jesus Christ, life stories, nerve blocks, Prayer, Prayer Requests, Religion, silicone implants, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

CHANGES…

Posted by Cindy H French on 04/02/2014

I know that it has been some time since I have posted anything. For my faithful followers and inquirers, I do apologize. I have been going through some of the most difficult times of my life, though, and as I have sought the Lord, today, HE has answered me, most graciously. 

Back in February, I had to go to the ER again, because they thought I had another clot in my lungs. It turned out to be pleurisy which is a really painful lung condition. it hurts when you talk, when you laugh and when you cough–all of which I do a lot! Unfortunately the CT scan showed a couple of spots on my lung. I wasn’t really concerned until my GYN doc who had found a lump in my breast just the month before (yes, I’ve already had breast cancer once) was really upset about the possibility of the connection of the two issues and asked me to see a pulmonologist for a referral to an oncologist for a complete check. Notice please, this wasn’t my idea, but my doctor’s. I saw a pulmonologist right away, unfortunately not my own. What a mistake, that!! He didn’t seem to even know what cough variant asthma was! Nor did he know how to prescribe my cough syrup! My pharmacist thought that was a riot! At any rate, he looked right through me. Ever had anyone do that to you? I had no idea what his issue with me was-I had never met him. My pulmonologist and  I had a good relationship. She had cough variant asthma as well, so she certainly understood my issues. I had a terrible cough when I was there and certainly could have used a shot of decadron which is what my pulmonologist in Tampa would have given me. He was only concerned with the fact that he couldn’t hear me wheeze. Cough variant asthma people don’t wheeze–we cough!! Obviously he was no help at all as it took me 2 days to get the cough medicine!

That night I had a really, really bad asthma attack. It was like back in 2011 when I had all those really bad attacks. I think I was so worn down from all I have been through this year physically and mentally, I just didn’t have much strength to fight the spiritual battle that I have been able to do since that May 2011.   On top of that, I started getting opinions from everybody about what I should do, or not do, think or not think. Truly if I had not had the Lord Himself to go to for truth, I might have listened to wrong advice, wrong opinions. I did have a great ER doc. He referred me to an oncologist/hematologist. She turned out to be one of the most caring doctors I have ever met! Unfortunately I am not out of the woods yet as to the spots on my lungs–I will have to have follow up scans every few months.  But at least she has me set on the right course for care!

My journey took me to Breast Specialists of Atlanta. I understand they are the very best. First my insurance company insisted on a mammogram, which is very difficult when one has had reconstructive surgery and implants after a double mastectomy! Imagine my surprise when I found out that I had silicone implants! I thought for the last 11 years that I had saline implants because the first implants had leaked. Well, unfortunately, so have these 11 year old implants! There’s a big blob of silicone right on the outside of my left side where one of the “problems” was! The second problem has turned out to be a benign cyst that I just got the news back on today!! PRAISE THE  LORD! I had so asked that I not have cancer back. I really didn’t know how in the world I was going to handle working with chemo and radiation! Thankfully, the Lord heard my prayers, those of my husband, my sister and my daughters, my brother and sister in law! How precious have they been to pray for me! No diatribes or opinions-just care. When someone is hurting, that is all they need to hear, love and support!!

So physically, bottom line for me at the moment is to get the implants replaced with saline and get that silicone, once and for all, out of my body! That’s the first thing I have to do when I get to our new home in Niceville, Florida! Yes, that is the reason for the title of my post today. I think a lot of you have known we haven’t been thrilled with our circumstances or the quality of the life here. My husband has always wanted to retire to the Panhandle! I would always say no, too many hurricanes hit there, no medical care, etc, etc. But he has spent the last four months doing research on the area and we’ve gone down there several times for weekends. I was wrong. There is good medical care, even a new hospital and where we will live is not in an evacuation area– it’s about 15 minutes from the beach across the bay bridge. And the people are so nice! It’s small town America! Call me corny, but I am ready for it! I don’t need the big city! We are so excited about this! We think we have already found a church too, but we will visit awhile till the Lord says for sure. And as for my Bible study? I can keep up with my BSF International or go back to Precept upon Precept by Kay Arthur. I did that for several years before I started in BSF.  Our church has some great choices for women’s ministry as well as men.

I could go on and on about how much better we think our lives will be in our new city. Our new home, which will not be much more money than what we are paying now for a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apt, is a 3 bedroom, 2 1/2 bath townhome with a garage and backyard patio! We will feel like we are in a home again. Last Saturday night, the people above us had a fight from 12:30-2:30 AM. It was very loud, lots of screaming going on. It was really scary. The weekend before, they were vacuuming at 12:30 am. Really and truly, I can’t wait to leave next week!

Oh and if anyone wonders what about my wonderful job? My boss said when I asked him if he minded me moving to the Panhandle, “no, you’re just changing a zip code and an area code. whatever makes you happy.” He’s great, isn’t he?

I’ll write again when we get settled.

Goodnight and God bless!

 

Posted in asthma, breast cancer, Christianity, Jesus Christ, Pleurisy, Prayer, pulmonary embolism, silicone implants, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

AND THE LORD KEEPS HIS PROMISES!

Posted by Cindy H French on 09/24/2012

Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me  your decrees. ..  I keep your precepts with all my heart…I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold…Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word.  Palm 119 67-74

I first wrote and underlined this passage in my Bible in June of 2011. I had just gotten home from the hospital after a bout with my asthma. This time the Lord did a lot of work while I was there. I have come home tired! He sold my sofa to one of the nurses and everywhere I turned there was someone to share with! My roommate, her husband, my nurses, even my student nurses. It really was glorious! And this was the scripture the Lord gave to me.

I know O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is your delight…I will mediate on your precepts…May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

Then the Lord brought me back  there 2 months later. ..It seems I hadn’t been studying His precepts thoroughly enough, nor did I have an adult’s comprehension of the passage-just a child’s. So I prayed-and prayed that he would give me a hope that this feeling  would be understood as an adult. To that end, He started giving me passages on health. I always thought they were for someone else-more deserving-but on  August 26 of this year, I got a new scripture. I even told ya’ll not to get too excited! But I was excited-because it did seem for me as I could find nothing for anyone else! this time the scripture is from Jeremiah 17: 7-10,14-15

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  The heart is deceitful  above all things and beyond cure who can understand it?  I, the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve…Heal me , O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise.  They keep saying to me, “Where is the word of the Lord ? Let it now be fulfilled” 

I first gave you those verses on August 18th and September 3rd. Then I was due for my Remecaid on September 14th.  Now these dates are important. USUALLY  by the week before the Remecaid is given, I have started hurting-not this time and certainly the week of, or absolutely, positively the week after. But as I write this, I don’t have any pain! Is that not the greatest thing in all the world?  So I would say that this is proof positive that the Lord God keeps His Promises! (now that I know this-there will be forth coming announcements)

Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

Todays’ News-Aurora Colorado Mass Shooting

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/20/2012

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon.  Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right to bear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded.  Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, high school reunions, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, leukemia, mass murder, menningitis | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/29/2012

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad, Ezinearticles.com, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A WHOLE LOT OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS- I PETER4: 12-19

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/16/2012

Once again, I have heard over and over in the last few days of suffering Christians. It’s not just me in that desert, I keep talking about, it seems as if it is everybody. Listen to what the scripture says.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial your suffering, as thought something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a nurderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment  to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outvome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,  ‘if it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly sinner?’  So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Wow, you might need to read through that passage 2 or 3 times to get it. I did.  And what I read is simply a continuation on God’s telling me that I am not getting out of this desert I’m in, been in. That it wouldn’t be good for me. I need to be completely dependent on HIM. And you know when I am completely dependent? Of course, when I am suffering the most.  Now I don’t pretend to understand God’s ways and thoughts. I sure would have done a few things differently! But they would have been wrong, turned out wrong, because God’s way is always right even if you can’t see it when you are going through it. I have had to learn this over and over again. I have a stubborn streak that God has been working on since I was a little girl. I like to think I am a whole better about that than I used to be, but only the good Lord and my husband could really tell you for sure.

This passage in Peter is great for several reasons. First it tells us not to be surprised at our circumstances. I can’t begin to tell you though, how many people have said, ” if you belong to God, all you have to do is ask and it will all be given to you”. My question to them is what is the “all” that is being given to me? because it is not prosperity, or popularity, or  overwhelming success, or just good health, just reasonable financial health. Nope, nada, nein, non, no! I can not find any place in the Bible where it says that our God is obligated to give us a fairy tale life. In fact, just the opposite is the case. From the beginning of the Word of God, in the garden of Eden, once sin came into the world through Adam and Eve, all of mankind was relegated to that desert that I speak of. Of course I am not talking literally, but metaphorically.

This trial and tribulation problem has plagued man since then-believer and unbeliever alike.     It rains on the believer and unbelievers alike. Both have similar injuries and go to the same hospital. One recovers very quickly, one does not. Again, why does God? Where is He? Whydoesn’t He answer?

I do believe that God answers every prayed sincerely. You might not like the answer, but you will get one if you ask the Lord for it!–but sometimes, like me, he takes you out of your comfort zone. I am going to go out of mine, because I need to get better help for whatever is happening with my knee. That would keep me really incapasitated  for the most important  delivery in the mornings. Sometimes my granddaughters are here for a long weekend and it just wouldn’t look right to have fight them staying toether in my house. Anymore that it would have look to have left yyour left arm broken because you waneour light and door unlocked

 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, christian, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

More Evidence!

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/18/2012

I am so excited! I know I blogged last year about my conversation with God about my perfect (He says) body and I think I’ve said something recently too-or maybe just in response to someone. But if you are new to my blog let me just tell you that from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, it has been fixed, repaired or taken out. Or I caught it and it liked me and decided to stay long past it’s welcome!

But last year, my Father, the God of this universe and any other, told me I was perfect! He said He formed me in the womb! Several times He said that in Isaiah-it was bad enough having to read it in the Psalms where I go for my comfort and there I read how perfectly wonderfully formed I am and how He was there when my innermost parts were knitted together…My Father has always known exactly what I was thinking-so I didn’t think it was too terrible to say out loud “I don’t think you did such a good job with me” I’m whispering now, because it is all settled, but I did say that exactly. To which my Father, my Glorious Father replied “I made you absolutely perfect”. Well then my dander got up a little cause how could He say that to someone who has been through what I have physically? I started naming my body problems starting with my little tumors on my head that no one else in the whole world has ever had. He stopped me there and said and didn’t you make a great friend who is recovering from a brain tumor-and ya’ll have a relationship because of the tumors and your understanding of how she feels? or didn’t she say that? Yes, Lord, she said that. But what about my neck? I have all the disks in my neck fused except for the top and bottom–no good at all has come out of that. In fact I had a stroke and lost my voice after that surgery-NOT the SURGEON”S FAULT!! what good came out of that? oh think back Cindy, how many people have you told about Jesus and His healing power in regards to those surgeries? OK,right again Lord. and so we went down my body- I think the next thing was my left rotator cuff–now I have to get my right one done! but there will be someone to share Jesus with. And when I had breast cancer, it never occured to me that I wouldn’t survive it-it did to my husband and family. But I had to go through that because too many women that God brings to my door have had it and it brings instant rapport..

I’m not going any further with what I’ve had wrong and what has been fixed-I think I have said enough that you get my drift–with an immunity disorder, you get everything. so I’ve had everything-just only recently found out why. but let me tell you about my evidence! That is why I had to write again tonight!

In Ephesians 1:11 many scholars  believe that the emphasis is upon knowing that WE are GOD’s INHERITANCE. (individually and collectively) I have read, heard preached, and studied enough that I thought of me (us) as Jesus’ inheritance-but of course He and the Father are one.  But this is the important part: God wants us to know what the Holy Spirit has accomplished within us-to look at the robe of righteousness that He has provided (Is 61:10) INSTEAD on constantly dwelling upon the beggar’s rags of unrighteousness that He has removed.

Now remember what I said to the Lord God about how He made me? The heavenly bridegroom answers “all beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you” Song of Songs 4:7, and “…the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect. Ezek 16:14

You know when God says something once it’s important, but when He comes back in flourishing style months later and repeats Himself even more grandly-how could you ever, ever not want to know this God who has loved you so dearly that He knows the number of hairs on your head or not! I know for me, I think it finally got through. I hope and pray that I can start speaking what I believe. I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He has made me perfect for His inheritance. He wants me at His side for all eternity…those are my truths, what about you?

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God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/19/2011

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text.  The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord?  Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer!  Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone  there will almost be instant rapport because you and  that person or their loved one has gone through  the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, aspergillus fungus, asthma, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A FATHER’S LOVE

Posted by Cindy H French on 11/03/2009

This is a really awesome video that my brother sent me today. I have shared with my GriefShare group and they thought it was great and timely!  Click below and enjoy!

http://used2gofast.com/fll.html

Posted in ADHD, adoption, bankruptcy, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, divorce, GriefShare, high school reunions, hysterectomy, life stories, miscarriage, psuedo tumor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Profoundly Changed

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/29/2009

I kept my promise and got involved in a very depth Bible study. The first book we studied was Phillipians. I couldn’t imagine learning so much from that one little book-but I did. I began to share what I was learning with my husband as we walked at night. Sometimes we discussed the lessons. Eventually I started going back to church and suddenly he was getting up to go with me. We didn’t join or go to a Sunday School or small group, but at least we were worshiping every Sunday.

Sometime before all this happened, I got over my “God mad”. One day, it was as if God knocked me on the head and said, ” Cindy, if I hadn’t let him (my ex-husband) leave, you would have never met and married the love of your life-who has loved you and cherished you, raised your children-been there through thick and then. Don’t you get it?” That very day, I got down on my face before the Lord and asked forgiveness and then I claimed the verse where He says He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. Since then, it certainly seems like-with what I am learning and doing and sharing-that He is really doing that!

Sometimes I think that my body has rebelled against me and decided that every part of it should be fixed, taken out or repaired. In 1994, I had a problem with my colon and my bladder. I have to say that of all my surgeries, this was probably the worst. On top of that, my bladder went to sleep and didn’t wake up for a week (we didn’t know I was allergic to morphine and this was one of the side effects), so I had to go home with a foley! It was awful! It took me many months to recover from the surgery and all the side effects. I was blessed that I could work from home or the office and that God kept producing the placements!

During one of our regional business meetings I noticed that my hands had started swelling at the joints, were hot and very painful. The next thing I knew, I was seeing a Rhuematoidologist-a specialist in Rhuematoid Arthritis. After xrays and blood tests, I was diagnosed with one more awful thing. As it progressed, I had to learn to live with chronic pain. Some days, I couldn’t walk. I felt like I was walking on my bones in my feet. Sometimes, I just lay in bed and ached all over. It was like having the flu, but not the flu. With RA, there is a methodology to treatment. They start with the light weight stuff before going to the needles and then infusions through IV. Some meds would work for awhile then stop, some wouldn’t work at all. I can’t remember how many I have been on, but just now, the most recent drug has quit working too. What a shame for me and for the insurance company that paid such a hugh amount for my infusion. Now it’s back to the drawing board and back to the Vicodan and heating pad!

This is one of my “thorns” that God has not chosen to heal. I don’t know why-He certainly has healed me from other things-very miraculously, but not this. It certainly keeps me dependent upon Him for my every move and reminds me to pray for those in worse conditions!

Posted in breast cancer, christian, chronic fatigue, GriefShare, life stories, rhuematoid arthritis | Tagged: , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

 
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