THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

Two Nights Without Asthma Issues! Prayers Answered! What A Wonderful Life!

My puppy dog likes to get up at six and if I haven’t already gotten up at 5 or 5:30, for sure I am up at 6. This gives me time to read the Word that the Lord has for me and some wonderful devotionals that I get online. Today’s messages were so strong that I felt I couldn’t wait all day to write what the Lord was saying to me. Bear with me, I am going to be in two different books and it doesn’t even look like they could be related, but they are, so stick with me.

My first reading was out of Jeremiah. I started in Chapter 16 and read through 23. I am not going to write out all of that this morning.  But there were little jewels in each chapter to shine the light on; to bring to the forefront because of the world we are living in. I think it is the most exciting time in history because every time you open a newspaper you can see prophecy being revealed as all of the things that God has said would take place are actually happening.  The first verse in chapter 16 refers to the remnant being gathered together to form the nation of Israel one last time. God says He is restoring them to the land He gave their Fathers. But He is talking future, because right now He is very angry with them and going to scatter them by the hand of the king of Babylon. Jeremiah does write at the end of that first chapter:

O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress, to you the nations will come from the ends of the earth and say, ” Our fathers possessed nothing but false gods, worthless idols that did them no good.  Do men make their own gods?  Yes, but they are not gods!” THEREFORE I WILL TEACH THEM, THIS TIME I WILL TEACH THEM MY POWER AND MIGHT. THEN THEY WILL KNOW THAT MY NAME IS THE LORD.

I would say that at such a time as this in our own nation, we should be coming to Him or ours will also go the way of the other nations that have scorned the Lord God Almighty.

In chapter 17, there were some special truths that stuck out at me this morning. Starting in verse 7  through 10

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water  that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.

Wow that says a lot in just 4 verses. First for me, it was convicting. Am I like the tree planted by the water. I know that water can be the word of the Lord God and yes, I am planted right next to it every day. But am I planted financially so that I don’t fear when heat (hard times) come? No, not any longer. However the lack of that has made me throw my total trust upon the Lord for His care and providence and I know that I have that every day, just as I see fruit of my witness every day. Did I always? Oh no, not at all.

And last but not least what God says about the heart! Oh, do I know it!! I have to keep a close eye on that heart of mine. It would like to act any way it wanted to anytime it wanted to-read whatever, see whatever movie or play or even TV show. But God has shown me that certain ones aren’t good for me. They may not bother the next person at all. For me though, they take my focus away from Him and of course that is not good for either of us. When The Lord is speaking to me about something I need to let go of –of course He has already examined my mind and heart and knows it all, yet I  sometimes still pretend,…”What are you talking about Lord, did I know do this and this? and now you want this?” But truthfully we both know I know exactly what He is talking about. What I have found out is that is it much simpler to just say Yes Lord. Obedience does bring its own rewards I have learned.

I see that I am going to have to skip over to Philippians as otherwise I would be writing so many words no one would read anything. I’ll come back to Jeremiah tomorrow and finish up.

Oh the precious book of Philippians! It was the first book study I ever did and so remains special in my heart. I know I won’t complete what I want to say about it either today and so will hope to finish it tomorrow with Jeremiah.

In the first chapter, verse 6 Paul starts with a very important verse. In fact, I base my life on this verse and then 9-11

Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus… And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with fruit of righteousness that come through Jesus Christ –to the glory and praise of God.

So now you know exactly why I was not afraid I was going to die of that pulmonary embolism I had in July nor of the asthma attack I had this week or of anything else that Satan may throw at me because I stand for Christ, my Savior. He has given me a task that is yet undone and so I will be here at least that long. The prayer that Paul prays is also certainly mine, just at Phil 6:19 is. (we’ll get there again) God is teaching me,  Himself and through organized formal Bible study, through my pastor, through my experiences-depth of knowledge and depth of insight-just what is good and pure and blameless. Who I should listen to, who I should give to in their neediness, who I should mentor? Discerning comes from that heart that God has examined and hopefully in my case, cleaned up enough to discern correctly HIS desires, not mine, not even my good inclinations because God’s desires, inclinations are perfect.

I  must stop here. There is so much more I would share, I thought I would have time to talk about what the great and mighty God is doing just in every day life connections for me so that I can continue helping others, but not today. Sounds like a long post tomorrow, doesn’t it! Well read what you can. Come back when you can. Know that you are beloved of the Lord God.

Asthma Again! But He Answers So Many Prayers Today!

Guess what happens when you get just a little big for your pants? at least that’s what my Daddy used to say to me, when I was getting a little smart mouth on me. I went back and read what I wrote last night all of which I certainly meant. But I must have been getting a little too smart mouthed for the Lord, because at 3 am I woke up coughing and wheezing like never before. I don’t wheeze. Everybody knows that. But Today August the 7th, 2012 I wheezed for hours! We tried everything but when nothing worked, we just went to the ER.  I didn’t want to get so sick that I would have to stay again. I just wanted my meds and to go home. Of course I got the doc who doesn’t understand about cough variant asthma again. He was so happy I was wheezing-that he could understand and diagnose! So I got my meds (IV Solumedrol-miracle drug) and also a breathing treatment of their special stuff I don’t have at home and after they had stuck  me a half a dozen times we were able to leave!

I am absolutely dependent upon my God for my very breath and that very breath that allows me to talk and do my work. I acknowledge that in all my words and deeds. I can do nothing without Him, but what I can do WITH  Him is amazing and wonderful to me to be used as I am. Truly tonight I am doubly blessed by what my sharing of His  Word and His Ministry did for others, because they shared it back with me. How wonderful is that!!!

The first story is from one of my candidates, an attorney  who is a believer and because of our shared faith, it has been easy to become friends. When we were first talking about the particular position, she had already had a first interview and really liked the person, already liked everything she had read and heard about the firm; but she asked me-Cindy ..”How will I know that this is the right opportunity for me?”  I told that’s easy. You turn to Isaiah 30:21 and read where  it says that God will whisper in your ear the way in which you are to go. She liked that apparently, looked it up and claimed that promise for herself.  Today she reminded me and said...”Remember when you told me???” 

Yes, I remember. Turns out she’s had this horrendous case for 4 years. Everyone including the senior partners of her firm wanted her to settle -for a $1million-but something in her just said this isn’t right. So she prayed about it and the job possibility as well and then laid down to go to sleep.  Then clear as a bell, a voice said, Don’t settle, you’ll win the case. She said,“Cindy I knew that was God’s voice telling me what to do just like you and the scripture said He would. But if you hadn’t told me that I would have thought it was my imagination and I might have settled. In the meantime, because we are preparing for court, all of the right, needed pieces are dropping in from heaven and we are going to win our case.” Of course I am very happy that she is going to win that case, but I was happier and so blessed by the fact that she would take what the Lord had said through me and do it and of course the Lord  would act-He does not lie- but my thrill was that she brought it back to me to tell me. Oh that was incredible how blessed I felt!

The second story started a couple of weeks ago. I might have mentioned in a posting that I had met someone from London who had introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC.  This young woman and I are going to be fast friends if we ever get the chance to have a full conversation. Our first one was 15 min-but we did get a lot crammed in there. For starters the most important thing-the way that I could help her right now.  You see, she lost her dad just about 5 weeks ago now. At 3 weeks she was just like I was when I lost my dad-a mess. Even thought you know absolutely where your father is and you wouldn’t want to make him come back for any reason, you still miss him so much. Here it is 3 years later and I still miss him the same. But at least I don’t hurt like I did when I was first grieving-I couldn’t really think straight even. I was such a mess that my dear BSF (Bible Study Fellowship)  friends said you have to go to GriefShare. What is GriefShare? I had never heard of it, but dutifully I went online and found a group that met at a place and time convenient for me and I went.  Of course I went to be comforted.  I needed comfort.  What I found was hurting people who in many instances had no hope at all.  I went to all the meetings and thought why don’t we (our church) have a GriefShare Ministry? I should learn not to think thoughts like that! Because of course I wound up as a GriefShare leader for 2 1/2 years until God took me away from it because of my immunity issue.

So back to my friend. We talked about her grief and she really was barely hanging on. Oh, how I understood!  So of course I told her about GriefShare and what it had meant to me. I asked her if she were near a computer and she was. I told her to type in GriefShare.org and then her zip code and it would bring up any and all meetings close to where she lived or worked depending on what she needed to be close to. She was so surprised to find a good many. I urged her to call and make arrangement to attend. check in.  And here is my blessing: I called her tonight just to check in with her,  had to leave a message, she called me back. She was at her first GriefShare meeting and was calling me back during their break! She sounded quite happy and said she’d call me tomorrow and then she thanked me again for telling her about GriefShare.

I would love to take credit for being so good at listening and anticipating needs, but I ‘m not. Any Good Thing In Me Is God and He is the one who knows all things, knows all needs. I was once again simply the conduit that He used to do His work.  I am so privileged to be that person.

I do thank each one of you who prays for me. I can’t begin to tell you what that means to me.  Your comments, encouragement, and examples sometimes have kept me going when I just wanted to stop for a while-when I just need a little break. I am going to ask you to pray for something specific for me and my sisters this time. Women of Faith has their annual conference in Orlando in October 12-13. My Orlando sister and I have always gone to the conferences for years! We love them. This year, we’ve invited our other sisters. The youngest one has a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old and of course that means leaving them with Dad.  On a Thurs and Fri night no less.For her to come she needs his cooperation and really his desire for her to come be with us. My Philly sister I am asking tomorrow. I ask that she would want to come to this conference and that it and we would be important to her to come as she is important to us to ask to come. I know my God is big enough to handle these requests, but there’s power in numbers and I happen to know I need the power for these requests to be answered positively.

So please all of you pray I believe it could be life changing for all of us. Thank you and I love you all with the love of the Lord God.

While In The Hospital Hebrews 1 and 2 Part 1 REBLOG-THIS IS IMPORTANT

Before I go into what I believe God has given me, may I just say  thank you to all of you? I know that there were so many prayers and much concern out there for me. I want you to know I really felt the love and God has answered. I don’t believe I was ever in any danger of dying. He has given me things to do yet! But He did intend for me to rest and that I did.I could barely write an email without falling asleep in the middle of  it.  In fact I really did that.  But God also was working in other people’s lives. People I have been praying for, for over a year and steps were taken that I believe will open that person up to our God, the Creator, Lord of the Universe.  No other way that it could have happened except for me to get sick like this. For me, if one person comes to know my Lord, then this is nothing to pay.

God took me to Hebrews 1 and 2 while I’ve been here.  I’ve read them over and over and it explains more fully the John 14 passage (previously posted by me.) I am not sure He will have me blog it, but it is incredible .  I have cried for my sinfulness in my life, for our world and how we’ve been, once I understood. Let’s see if I can even write it so that it makes sense to you. I explained what I had learned to my husband, but I wasn’t writing it out.

There was God. Because He is God, He can be, do anything He wants. He is Three in One. The Trinity. Jesus was not separate from God at this point. He became Jesus Christ Incarnate, when He took on flesh and was born as a baby. Now the Spirit of God which is wholly God would separate as the Lord willed and in the beginning for instance,Gen 1:2) He troubled the waters. And in Gen 6, He said my Spirit will not contend (discipline)with man forever. Reading on down, I saw in vs 5-7 that the Lord saw how great man’s wickedness had become. Let me quote it;  and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The Lord was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. So the Lord said” I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth–men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air–for I am grieved that I have made them.”   I’m stopping the scripture for just a minute. Have you ever wondered if God was sorry He created us? I have. Well, here it is, He was so sorry, it broke His heart.  Imagine how He must feel when He looks on our world now!  But thank goodness, He already had a plan and there was Noah, who found favor in His sight.

But going again to Genesis, because you do have to start in the beginning. It is in 1:26 that He says “Let us make man in our own image, in our likeness. We are to be a reflection of Him and created for His pleasure. So there was the “our” and “they” again.  And what do you imagine  that it means “in our own image”? I think it means our spirit-could mean our body and spirit since we do get a new body with our spirit after judgement, but I think that is for different reasons. The Holy Spirit went out many times in the Old Testament, but never indwelling.

So back then to Hebrews 1:2-3  But in these last days He has spoken to us through His Son whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom He made the universe. The Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of his being sustaining all things by his powerful word.  Here is where I  am saying, let’s take a second look, a third look that truly Jesus was not separate from the Father in any way until He came down and took on human flesh, but that flesh still had the character of  God in that body and as Jesus said in John 14, I am in my Father and my Father is in me.   He said he did everything the Father told him, said what the Father told him, was there to Glorify the Father–and yet God glorifies Him (Jesus) as God by telling him his throne will last for ever and ever, He verifies His participation in creation, says He will remain the same eternal  and your years will never end and now that He is eternally a separate entity in flesh but not spirit, He sits at the right hand of the Father.

So do you see what I am saying? Our God and Creator loved us so much  that He took a part of His own self, wrapped it in human flesh to be the necessary sacrifice for us to bring us to Him — those who would accept His gift, that someday we would know Him face to face forever.

Part 2  This is the Reason Why—coming soon

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

A WHOLE LOT OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS- I PETER4: 12-19

Once again, I have heard over and over in the last few days of suffering Christians. It’s not just me in that desert, I keep talking about, it seems as if it is everybody. Listen to what the scripture says.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial your suffering, as thought something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a nurderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment  to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outvome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,  ‘if it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly sinner?’  So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Wow, you might need to read through that passage 2 or 3 times to get it. I did.  And what I read is simply a continuation on God’s telling me that I am not getting out of this desert I’m in, been in. That it wouldn’t be good for me. I need to be completely dependent on HIM. And you know when I am completely dependent? Of course, when I am suffering the most.  Now I don’t pretend to understand God’s ways and thoughts. I sure would have done a few things differently! But they would have been wrong, turned out wrong, because God’s way is always right even if you can’t see it when you are going through it. I have had to learn this over and over again. I have a stubborn streak that God has been working on since I was a little girl. I like to think I am a whole better about that than I used to be, but only the good Lord and my husband could really tell you for sure.

This passage in Peter is great for several reasons. First it tells us not to be surprised at our circumstances. I can’t begin to tell you though, how many people have said, ” if you belong to God, all you have to do is ask and it will all be given to you”. My question to them is what is the “all” that is being given to me? because it is not prosperity, or popularity, or  overwhelming success, or just good health, just reasonable financial health. Nope, nada, nein, non, no! I can not find any place in the Bible where it says that our God is obligated to give us a fairy tale life. In fact, just the opposite is the case. From the beginning of the Word of God, in the garden of Eden, once sin came into the world through Adam and Eve, all of mankind was relegated to that desert that I speak of. Of course I am not talking literally, but metaphorically.

This trial and tribulation problem has plagued man since then-believer and unbeliever alike.     It rains on the believer and unbelievers alike. Both have similar injuries and go to the same hospital. One recovers very quickly, one does not. Again, why does God? Where is He? Whydoesn’t He answer?

I do believe that God answers every prayed sincerely. You might not like the answer, but you will get one if you ask the Lord for it!–but sometimes, like me, he takes you out of your comfort zone. I am going to go out of mine, because I need to get better help for whatever is happening with my knee. That would keep me really incapasitated  for the most important  delivery in the mornings. Sometimes my granddaughters are here for a long weekend and it just wouldn’t look right to have fight them staying toether in my house. Anymore that it would have look to have left yyour left arm broken because you waneour light and door unlocked

 

More On My Hospital Visit

I do have to start this post with thanking Our Father and God Almighty for His every little care: from being on a great wing of the hospital (they aren’t all great), having wonderful nurses and techs, and for the most part all those who were administering the testing. I have to thank my dear, sweet husband who made yet another trip to the ER, rushing to get there, only to sit for hours waiting on results and direction. And how hard it must be to hear me answer that yes, I have a living will and yes, I know what it all means. No, don’t re-start my heart. No, don’t resuscitate me. Why? the doctor asked. Because I will have gone home, I answered. But he didn’t get it. Of course he wasn’t my regular doctor-they all know how I feel and so does my family.  So what an incredible surprise I had when I saw my Orlando sister walk in the door Monday at lunch time! Oh no, He (God) wasn’t going to allow me any depression or discouragement . When I complained about not being able to get up and move around to talk to people, Marilou said The Lord will bring whomever He wishes to you–and He did. Enough that I was blessed and I think the people were blessed.

Over the course of the 4 days we discovered 3 completely different issues that I was suffering from–again, because it wasn’t obvious why a seizure or what kind of seizure-all the different kinds of tests were needed and I think the fact that other conditions were found just demonstrate the sovereignty of God, to make sure I got all the care I needed.

So this next week, we start the doctor office visits. The first one is with the immunologist. We are praying for antibodies! Who would have ever thought they’d be so important to me? But if I still have some left from the pneumonia vaccine I was given, I will get permission to go back on Remicaid! Woohoo! Still, all won’t be lost if I can’t. My new RA doc told me about a triple combo of drugs they can use-in fact always used before the new drugs like Remicaid or Embrel. So at least there is some kind of treatment for the disease. How I thank God for that. I guess I still haven’t read enough about the disease to have learned enough history. And what combo of pain meds they have me on now helps a lot-until the end of the 5 or 6 hr cycle that is!

Please pray on Tuesday for my orthopedic visit. This is for a second opinion. I don’t do this very often. I get referrals for my doctors and for the most part, have utmost confidence in them. But this year, after firing my RA doctor of 10 years, and the first new RA doctor after 2 visits, I have become a little more discerning (I hope) and since it’s me that’s hurting, a little more demanding. I am afraid I have a rotator cuff problem that has been made worse by physical therapy ordered by the first doctor.  So I am taking my xrays and going to see someone else and will probably get a scan this time too as I can not lift my arm up above my head or around my back, pull the car door shut, etc.   Then on Wednesday I see my neurologist for my lovely new helmet I get to wear for the week. Pray that there is some kind of explanation! But nothing that would take my drivers license away permanently!

And then pray for whoever God is sending my way who has gone through the same thing. Pray that their hearts are prepared for His Word, His Comfort, His Love. That’s the reason I can say, thank you Jesus for this new ailment (S) Just as you’ve instructed me to thank you in all things for this is the will of the Father concerning me. But don’t let go! I am holding on with my fingernails sometimes! Thank Goodness you have a strong right arm!  I love you, my Father and I do thank you again for my care this week and for answered prayer.

More Reflections Isaiah 55:6-8 and Romans 8:37-39

As I read the notes from many blogs that come my way, one overwhelming theme is there for all of us. We don’t have to know  the future, because we know the One who holds it. After the year that 2011 has been what sane person is not ” seeking the Lord while he may be found; call on him while he is near. Let the wicked (anyone who is not perfect) forsake his way and the evil man his thoughts. Let him turn to the Lord, and will have mercy on him and to our God, for he will freely pardon. For my thoughts are not your thoughts and my ways are not your ways, declares the Lord.”       They are higher and deeper than anything we can imagine about us. What  I am/have discovered this year is this incredible love of God the Father for me–as He has told me over and over how He loves me and then as we began to talk together what I should do, not do, how I wasn’t trusting Him (I am now) And as I face the uncertainty of 2012 as far as my health is concerned–I know without a doubt that HE has a purpose in this new, added on systemic disease too. At the least, it forced me to go to a new doctor who was able to tell me exactly how sick I really am. For that I am truly grateful. I was headed down the dead man walking path and somehow, I do think God still has things for me to do and people to talk to.  But please pray for me that there is something that can be done for the RA pain. To move around is terrible! I feel like an old woman.

I close with one of my favorite passages: …in all things we are more than conquerors through him who loves us. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future nor any powers neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Come quickly Lord Jesus!

Reflections–December 31, 2011

What a year! Eight times in the hospital for me, twice for my husband, a move– and then there was my whole new deepening relationship with the Lord God. Learning to trust Him for even the basics, learning about His LOVE for me even more incredible. Having Him with me in the ER in May, so surreal now, but thank goodness I wrote about it when it was fresh. Going back over and over to the ER for the asthma, even in Atlanta, at least it’s been since September now.

And my husband had his pacemaker replaced. Hallelujah what a difference in how he feels! It is amazing. I have been praying about his pain-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about how uncomfortable his defibulator/pacemaker was-doesn’t have it anymore. I had been praying about his breathing–he is breathing so freely now.This is great  to see the Lord God answer my prayers.

Now my husband says “get well, too”–

 

More Answers!

I saw my wonderful primary  care doc last week and filled her in on my life the last month or so. She had to keep the lights low, I thought I might have pink eye or that maybe the candida infection had gotten into my eyes. They hurt, were very gritty, like stuff was in them. She was very concerned that I could not get into my ophthalmologist until this week and when I told her of the trouble I was having getting in to see the infectious diseases doc-she said, “stay right here, I’ll take care of it”.  And take care of it she did! I had an appointment with the eye doctor the next morning (most important) and then an appointment with infectious diseases the next Tuesday, early morning. Wow! what having a doc on your side does! She also changed the oral med I was taking for the mouth and lip sores since I had had no healing there at all and she told me to be sure that she got feedback from the docs on my visits.

Between then and now (the 29th) these are the scriptures the Lord has given to me–and how I have needed them!  Grace-Filled Waiting- 2 Cor 4:4-18 We do not lose heart and Yet Will I Rejoice- Habakkuk 3:11-19 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  So here is what happened at the doctors-

I saw the ophthalmologist the next morning and truthfully, I don’t think I have ever had such a thorough exam! The first thing he said was-the good news is you don’t have an infection. The bad news is you have the dryest eyes I have ever seen since I have been practicing. This is why you hurt. I couldn’t believe that dry eyes would do that-and I had even had the surgery to help with dry eyes, so how could this be? He said is was all because of my rheumatoid arthritis. I couldn’t believe it-how could it affect my eyes? but he said it was and went on to say there were probably other areas of my body that were being attacked as well. I needed to see my Rheumatoidologist. I told him about the candida and that I was seeing an infectious diseases specialist on the next Tues and he said he’d get all the info on what he had done and ordered to her. In the meantime, he gave me 2 prescriptions for eyedrops-each 4 times/day and in between those times I was to use over the counter tears. AND then he gave me a prescription for several blood tests!  I was shocked! I have never had that happen either.

Needless to say by the time we finally saw the doc on that Tues, she had a lot of information about me. What was amazing was that she had already  read it. Then the second amazing thing happened. She said my major problem is that I have no immunity and that will get me killed. Right now, that is her first concern-to build me up. So she began to ask me what I did, what’s my stress level (ha), extra curricular activities, etc. I was downplaying it, but remember my sister was with me and spoke right up! The hardest thing for me to give up and what I can’t understand the Lord’s way in this is GriefShare. I also have to stop working at night, rest during the day-in fact rest as much as I can any place, any where, any time that I can. She said I really need to be aware of my surroundings at all times because that’s when triggers can strike and right now my goal should be NO ATTACKS–that way, no presnesdone or solu-medrol gets into my body. So I am really praying that I am attack free.

I have no idea how long I need to be so careful, but I am going to have to take the 3 drugs probably for the rest of my life and even if/when I get my immunity built up-no one is going to want to mess with it by giving me asthma drugs unless it is life and death again. Oh what a place to be in! Well I do trust the team I have now. I believe they can and will work together. So my part will be to pray and to rest and to rely on my God-no stress, remember?