CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

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Posts Tagged ‘adoption’


Posted by Cindy H French on 09/24/2012

Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me  your decrees. ..  I keep your precepts with all my heart…I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold…Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word.  Palm 119 67-74

I first wrote and underlined this passage in my Bible in June of 2011. I had just gotten home from the hospital after a bout with my asthma. This time the Lord did a lot of work while I was there. I have come home tired! He sold my sofa to one of the nurses and everywhere I turned there was someone to share with! My roommate, her husband, my nurses, even my student nurses. It really was glorious! And this was the scripture the Lord gave to me.

I know O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is your delight…I will mediate on your precepts…May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

Then the Lord brought me back  there 2 months later. ..It seems I hadn’t been studying His precepts thoroughly enough, nor did I have an adult’s comprehension of the passage-just a child’s. So I prayed-and prayed that he would give me a hope that this feeling  would be understood as an adult. To that end, He started giving me passages on health. I always thought they were for someone else-more deserving-but on  August 26 of this year, I got a new scripture. I even told ya’ll not to get too excited! But I was excited-because it did seem for me as I could find nothing for anyone else! this time the scripture is from Jeremiah 17: 7-10,14-15

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  The heart is deceitful  above all things and beyond cure who can understand it?  I, the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve…Heal me , O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise.  They keep saying to me, “Where is the word of the Lord ? Let it now be fulfilled” 

I first gave you those verses on August 18th and September 3rd. Then I was due for my Remecaid on September 14th.  Now these dates are important. USUALLY  by the week before the Remecaid is given, I have started hurting-not this time and certainly the week of, or absolutely, positively the week after. But as I write this, I don’t have any pain! Is that not the greatest thing in all the world?  So I would say that this is proof positive that the Lord God keeps His Promises! (now that I know this-there will be forth coming announcements)


Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »


Posted by Cindy H French on 09/03/2012

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.



Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, kidnapped, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, LOVE AND KISSES, mass murder, mass shootings, menningitis, miraculous healing, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, obedience, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), rhuematoid arthritis, righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Trust, Uncategorized, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Todays’ News-Aurora Colorado Mass Shooting

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/20/2012

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon.  Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right to bear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded.  Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, high school reunions, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, leukemia, mass murder, menningitis | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Hebrews 1 and 2 Part 2 From the Hospital Stay REBLOGGED-IMPORTANT

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/16/2012

In Hebrews 2:9-18, God gives us the reason for the whole plan. This is terrific. I will quote a little and try and explain a little (at least to my understanding now)

But we see Jesus, who was made a little lower than the angels, now crowned with glory and honor because he suffered death, so that by the grace of God he might taste death for everyone.  a note here is very important. When Jesus was on that cross, God turned His back on Him and They were separated for the first time in eternity. God The Father in Heaven, could not look upon the sin that Jesus took upon Himself as the scapegoat. And as the scapegoat He was paying the sin debt for every human being ever born, whether the gift was accepted or not.  In bringing many sons to glory, it was fitting that God  for whom and through  everything exists, did you get that?  Think about that little phrase and what it means! we’ll get back to it another time. should make the author of their salvation perfect through suffering. Both the one who makes men holy and those who are made holy are of the same family. So Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers. So we called brothers and sisters in Christ, because He has made us holy-When God looks at me, Jesus is standing right in front of me and I look holy right now, even though I am not yet holy as I will be in heaven. But all because of Jesus, God’s wrath is not upon me, His eyes are full of love and compassion and He knows my heart, the deepest longings, and because the Holy Spirit lives in me and is God and knows; He can pray for me in spiritual prayers when I have no more words.  He says, I will declare your name to my brothers; in the presence of the congregation I will sing your praises. And again, I will put my trust in Him and again he says,  Here am I and the children God has given me. Since the children have flesh and blood he too shared in their humanity so that by his death he might destroy him who holds the power of death–that is the devil–and free those who all their lives were held in slavery by their fear of death…For this reason he had to be made like his brothers in every way, in order that he might become a merciful and faithful high priest in service to God and that He might make atonement  for the sins of the people. Because he himself suffered when he was tempted, he is able to help those who are being tempted.  So the Lord has given us the exact reason that He implemented the whole blood debt payment, who would pay it (himself as Jesus) and that because Jesus took on what the Father asked of Him separation by the weight of the sins of the world and then death for 3 long days, the Father elevates Him so that (back to chapter 1, vs 8-9 your throne, O God, will last for ever and ever and righteousness will be the scepter of your kingdom. You have loved righteousness and hated wickedness, therefore, God, your God, has set you above your companions by anointing you with the oil of joy. He also says in the beginning , O Lord you laid the foundations of the earth and the heavens are the work of your hands…Through these scriptures, I don’t think you can get more validation than what is so clearly written here;  along with the reasons that God chose to do it that way. Our God who really shouldn’t have to explain anything, but I ask Him to all the time…

The other part I wanted to go back to was where He has become our merciful and faithful High Priest. I have heard it said many times that because Jesus has experienced life as a human being, He can also explain that feeling back to God our Father  in a way that He knows exactly because they are one …. I believe He can actually transfer or make the Lord God feel the same things He is feeling as the Son.  That is what a High Priest does-he takes my place. He knows my heart, my feelings, my sin and because I have accepted Jesus as my Savior, Lord and High Priest, he can literally feel it from me to Him. Not that our God needs to be burdened with every little thing, but He says He does. He says He knows the number of hairs on my head. I am sure  He knows my thoughts, because I can barely speak them to Him and He can be answering me back.

So many may be saying okay for you or it’s easy for you to say.  No it isn’t. It has been hard-won. I hate the wasted years, they are my fault. But Glory to God that it’s never too late. There is nothing you or anyone can do that would turn His love away from you except that you reject Him.  I can’t even imagine such love and yet I think I am full of love because I am full of Him-but that is how much He loves you. Think on these things. If nothing else, be sure that you are right with Him before you meet Him face to face-because like me, you never know. He said be ready. I am. He’s coming soon.

Posted in adoption, Bible study, Christianity, Creativity, holiness, life stories, Life's Answers | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »


Posted by Cindy H French on 05/29/2012



Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad,, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »


Posted by Cindy H French on 05/21/2012

Brand new 2

Brand new 2 (Photo credit: Andreas-photography)

I was recently asked to write about my experience with adoption. I had written a little of this in an earlier post, if it sounds a little familiar. 

In  1974, I was 22 years old and had an emergency hysterectomy. I was told how fortunate I was that I was already married and had a child. But I didn’t feel very fortunate! I had wanted 3 or 4 children, now that was obviously not to be. I wasreally confused. I thought that I had done everything in the world that would make God choose to bless me. He Had with the miracle birth of our daughter who was 13 months old at the time, but I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. Oh I had so much to learn!!

 But then in January 1976, in my quiet time of the morning, He spoke to me through scripture and told me to “prepare for the child He was going to give us!” I was thrilled, excited, overwhelmed and yes, scared all at the same time. Scared because what if I was imagining this? And if it is true, how were we going to pay for it?—minor details I hadn’t worried about when I was praying my desire! Still, I did what God said to do. I prepared.

We got down the crib and the baby clothes from the attic. And I washed and ironed everything. Put the clothes and blankets away in the drawers. Had the crib all set up, made curtains for a nursery and created that room for the baby to come. I know everyone thought I was nuts, but humored me.   

 Then in April I got a phone call from a friend. She had a friend who was pregnant and wanted to give up her child for adoption. Would we be interested??  Oh yes! We would be interested I told her and explained exactly how prepared we were and would she please tell the birth mother this. It might make her feel better knowing that this child was not an accident, but planned for me.

 Our daughter was born in the early morning of August the 8th.  She came early by a couple of weeks, so I was surprised when I got the call from our attorney (who was the go between). He said your new daughter looks just like you! She has dark hair and eyes and dimples in the same place as yours! He was amazed because of course there was no matching, but here was a baby who looked more like me than my natural child (blonde/blue eyed, and tall-she does have the dimples too). And let me insert here that years later, I am 5’4 and she is 5/2 ½ while my oldest is 5’8. My natural child has a very laid back personality and goes with the flow, but the child of my heart? We are just alike! Emotional, extroverted, service oriented. She has her own story to tell of how she has arrived at 35, almost 36 a professional nanny who specializes in ADHD children and multiples; who finally got everything straight with the Lord who protected her from the moment of her conception-because He had a plan for her life; who has been on 2 mission trips in South America to share the Good News of Jesus Christ and this year will go to Haiti.

 I could tell you that raising a child of your heart is easy, but I do not lie. And unfortunately for my child, her adoptive father left and divorced me when she was 2.

I married again when she was almost 4 and my husband has been her dad for the most part. She tried very hard in her teen years to live with her adoptive Dad, but there were so many issues on both sides, that it didn’t work. When she came home again, she brought the same problems with her and I certainly hadn’t learned the lessons I needed to learn that I have learned by now. So we all struggled, but we all loved, there was never any question of that on either side. I just kept praying and holding on to God’s promises that He has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) I knew He had saved her life for a special purpose. It may be to be that all important nanny. It may be that all important person who leads a seeking heart to Jesus. I don’t know. I do know The ONE Who Holds The Future and I am convinced that nothing can separate us from Him and His plan for us and His commitment to finish the work He began in us…whatever it takes.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Christianity, divorce, hysterectomy, life stories, Prayer, Relatioships, Religion, second marriages, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »


Posted by Cindy H French on 10/27/2009

 As I have expressed in previous writings, we had issues with Laurel. She  was a ‘daddy’s girl” from the start. Cried for him so many times as a toddler, even when she was getting tubes in her ears! Several times! unfortunately when she reached 11, we really started having problems-withschool. We met many times with the psychiatrist as well as school officials and her teachers. No one liked giving her the medicine for ADHD. That was one problem. She was very smart and once she showed you that she could do long division or spell a word, she didn’t want to repeat the process in homework. It didn’t help that her dad was making a play for her to come live with him-lots of promises of what could be…finally I gave up when we were filing for bankruptcy with our business and I was facing breast cancer. I truly believed that they could give her the counseling and and one on one time that she needed! Of course this was the worst mistake I ever made!

Laurel went to live with them at age 12. She came back to us at 18. She finished her senior year of high school. Dennis taught her to drive, to balance a checkbook and other essential things that a child should learn to be able to become an adult.

The rest is her story…with us doing what we could and can for her!


Posted in ADHD, adoption, christian, divorce, life stories, sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Early Tampa Years

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/24/2009

Our first home in Tampa had a nice big swimming pool. We moved in the summer, so the kids (and the dog) were in heaven. I loved it too as I got to stay home with them, doing a little secretarial work for Dennis’ business until they moved into their office in the Westshore area.  When Dennis would come home from work, we’d all go swimming together. We had such a great time those few months.

When fall came, it was back to school for the kids. We had moved where we felt the best schools were for them, but for Laurel, it was very hard. Her class had team teaching and ADHD kids don’t do very well unless they are in a structured environment. We worked very hard with her and her teachers. I went to work as an outside sales rep for a temporary staffing company. I thought that this was the best way to get to know the city and the players and really hadn’t met anyone that did search and placement like we did in Atlanta that I wanted to work with. Very quickly I got very consumed with the job and there were many late nights filling job orders for companies to which I had sold our service.

The company sent me to Atlanta for sales training as that was their policy. And it was great sales training! My second time up there, I fell on a broken sidewalk and broke my foot. I came home in a cast and on crutches, but went right back to work. It was my left foot, so I could drive. Of course, my foot didn’t really heal well and as soon as I was out of the cast and off crutches, I re-injured it. Still, I kept working, just in the office for longer this time.

Then my neck started acting up. I had had a car accident back in 1978 in which I had cracked a vertebrae and damaged nerves in my neck as well as sustaining a concussion. Now I was starting to have regular times of just not being able to move or lift my head. I had had occasional bouts of this in Atlanta, but after physical therapy, I always got better. This time, I didn’t really get better. I saw a chiropractor-he did help me a lot more than the therapist. He was very thorough-did a blood test, blood pressure along with xrays. At 36, I had high blood pressure, high chlorestorol and high triglycerides! Well, that scared me for sure! My parents had heart issues and I certainly didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. I changed my diet significantly. I also changed my employment. That changed my blood pressure!

Of course there is more to the story! Our Melissa had fallen for one of the sons of one of the people I worked with. She was 13, he was 18. We caught her sneaking out at night to meet him and Dennis went ballistic! He had had sisters and warned me to watch her more closely,but I of course, couldn’t believe that my daughter would do that! He pulled her out of public school and put her in a private, all girl’s Catholic school. They wore uniforms and no makeup. I picked her up every day and for 6 months, she didn’t have a social life of any kind. I have to admit it worked. We didn’t have any trouble with her behavior after that!

But at work, tension between me and my co-worker was very strong. She, defending her son and his being led astray by my daughter! Dennis wanted to prosecute the boy, but we didn’t. About this time, my dad was stricken with his heart and went through his first quadruple by-pass. Seeing him like that, something in me shifted and I knew that I didn’t want to wind up like that because of a job or my  circumstances.

Dennis and I decided that I would work part time for his company-marketing to designers and architects. Having grown up in the business with my mom and then my sisters and brother, this was an easy transistion for me. I was able to help the business and work the hours I needed to, but be home for the girls.

You notice there is still no God connection in all of these years. Yes, the girls occasionally went to church as I did. But He was not an important part of our home, our decisions, our conversation. I think He was letting the rope out with me. He says that He will never let us go once we are His-and eventually He was going to pull that rope up tight!

Posted in ADHD, adoption, cervical fusions, christian, chronic pain, life stories, second marriages, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

My Daughter’s Just Like Me!

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/15/2009

When my youngest  daughter was 18,  she was stricken with pseudo tumor cerebri. This is like having a brain tumor but you don’t. You make too much spinal fluid and the pain and pressure are incredible. In Laurel’s case she went blind. Her first surgery was to relieve the pressure on her optic nerves and restore her sight. They did one eye at a time. Then she had surgery to install a shunt in her head. The tubing from the shunt was threaded down to her abdominal cavity and absorbed back into the body. Over the years, she has had a little bit  of trouble-menegitis and the tube moving around in her belly,  but nothing like what happened to her yesterday!

When she woke up, she found that the tubing was protruding from her rectum by several inches. Thank the Lord that she knew this was serious and called her sister who met her at the hospital. The immediate issue was infection getting back up to her brain. Then secondly,  keeping infection or bacteria from contaminating her abdominal cavity.

She is very fortunate in that this is a level 1 trauma hospital. The neurosurgeon and general surgeon acted immediately with surgery to cut the tubing to the shunt. They also put her on mega antibiotics and in ICU where she can be watched closely for any sign of infection.

The second part of this is getting the tubing out without infecting her abdominal cavity. She is spending the afternoon getting scanned to ascertain exactly where the hole is between the abdomen and the rectum and exactly where to extract it.

The doctors told her they were going to write a paper about her condition as apparently this is so rare, there is no protocol-they are just trying to do the common sense treatment! Sounds just like what I went through 4 weeks ago. (see earlier post) My family thinks it is hilarious (maybe interesting is a better word) that my daughter is also so “gifted” by God with physical challenges as I am–and this is my adopted daughter–who looks more like me and has the same allergies as I do! I guess when God does a match, it is perfect!

We found out all of this late yesterday afternoon. After much rearranging of schedules, my husband and I are on the way to Atlanta to be with Laurel. I think that she is happier that her dad is coming than me! At any rate, just one more story of weirdness in my life to deal with.  I can’t wait to see what God is going to do in this situation!

Posted in adoption, christian, psuedo tumor | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »


Posted by Cindy H French on 09/27/2009

So we settled down, our little family. My husband graduated Tech and went to work for a general contractor as a project manager. Those guys work long, hard hours and I am not sure that they are ever compensated enough! I never dreamed that someday, in a different life I would be recruting and placing those kinds of people!

Back to being a mommy! I loved this! I would go to KMart and find little sunsuits with hats to dress her in and then we’d come home from the store and try them all on! Like playing dolls, except she was alive! And active and very demonstrative of her likes and dislikes. I learned on the job about packing a diaper bag and all that one might need for just a couple of hours-remember this is before handi-wipes or pampers with elastic at the legs. I thought of it, shoulda, woulda, coulda on that! Too late! Of course we did the “real” diaper thing first, but pretty quickly went to the disposables. It just seemed cleaner to me. And I would put wet washclothes in tin foil to keep it wet for cleaning up-whatever. Our first outing, I didn’t bring extra clothes, but learned quickly to bring extras of everything! Melissa was a joy and I thought I was set! Now, we just needed another baby and we’d be complete. I didn’t want her to be an “only”. I have 5 brothers and sisters that I treasure and wanted at least one sibling for her. Because we had had so much trouble, we were advised to try again, quickly. At about the time Melissa was 13 months, we thought I might be pregnant again, but it turned out to be another cyst. This time, fast growing and very painful. Our doctor told us that he would do everything he could to keep me “in tack”. This was back when with 3 abdominal surgeries or even C-sections, you were done, but I was only 22 years old. I knew he was a good surgeon and trusted him.  When I woke up, though, it was to bad news. There really wasn’t much there to save. My tubes were destroyed by adhesions, my ovaries were covered with cysts-one about to explode with who knows what-and I’d already had two questionable PAP smears. Back then, with no test tube babies born yet, it seemed reasonable to take my uterus as well as the other organs. In fact, my doctor said that Melissa really was a miracle, because he couldn’t see how in the world I had gotten pregnant with no tubes connecting the ovaries to the uterus! But our God is the giver of life and He knew and listened to my fervent prayers for a child. He made it happen-regardless of what the medical profession understands.

Once I got out of the hospital, I had a tough time emotionally. I didn’t know why-no one prepared me for “menopause” but that was what I experienced. Up and down emotions, crying, hot flashes. I finally bought a bag of marshmallows just to have something to throw that wouldn’t hurt anything! Finally, I had enough sense to call my doctor and he put me on premarin-estrogen. It took awhile to get stabilized, but what a difference! If I ever forgot to take the medicine, my husband always knew!

I still had lot’s of trouble with kidney infections and was hospitalized with surgery and lot’s of antibiotics. I think Melissa was about 18 months-she stayed with her paternal grandparents, who were two of the most awesome people I’ve ever known. Her “Grandmommy” took her hand when she got there, took her into the bathroom and said, “big girls don’t wet their pants” and that was that! When I came home from the hospital, Melissa came right up and said, Mommy, Big girl! and proceeded to show me her potty! I guess she was just ready, but my goodness, that was amazing. Melissa’s great grandfather came to live with the grandparents after his wife died. He became just as important as her parents or grandparents in her life. He would sit for hours reading books to her and just paying attention. I think that was what was so great about all of them. They really paid attention to you and loved you unconditionally.

I still wanted that second child! I prayed and read the Word a lot about my desires. I was very involved with church-taught Sunday School and also a women’s Bible study. I was very organized so that my household wouldn’t suffer my outside involvement. We had bought a house by then. It had a great area for a garden and so the greatgrandfather and grandfather came over, tilled and planted and we had some of every kind of vegetable. I learned to can, to make pickles-I always liked to cook so having fresh was great. I even tried making bread, but wasn’t any good at that. This was before the bread making machines were out there.

We had some great next door neighbors. They had a little girl Melissa’s age and so it was often that we all got together. Soon after, they had another little girl. This really made me yearn for that other child. Then in January 1986, God spoke to me through His Word and told me He was going to give us a child. I was to prepare for it. I took Him at His word and got down the crib and baby clothes and things from the attic that I had kept. I set up the nursery in our 3rd bedroom and waited. Early in the spring, I got a call from a friend. She had a friend who was pregnant and thinking of giving the child up for adoption. Were we interested? Well, what could I say? I told her I was totally ready for the child-that I knew we were going to have one, but had no idea where it would come from! So here it was. All we had to do was pay the legal expenses of the adoption and the medical expenses of the birth mother. We decided to correspond through our attorney. I wrote of my prayers and God’s assurance of another child. I wrote of my family and faith and desire to love and raise another child. Then in August, our second daughter was born. Our attorney called and told me by telling me how much she looked like me! Same dimples, dark hair,but healthy and whole. Of course part of the agreement was that we would take whatever the baby was-boy or girl, healthy or not.  God always gives perfect gifts and Laurel was certainly perfect in my eyes. We brought her home when she was 3 days old. I could tell right away that she had a milk allergy-boy-little did I know what we were going to go through with her allergies! But what a sweet girl. Melissa loved her baby sister and helped me with her. I was amazed at how my neighbors welcomed her with gifts and cards. All I knew was that now my family was really complete!

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