CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the ‘sleep apnea’ Category

THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

Posted by Cindy H French on 09/03/2012

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

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Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, kidnapped, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, LOVE AND KISSES, mass murder, mass shootings, menningitis, miraculous healing, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, obedience, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), rhuematoid arthritis, righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Trust, Uncategorized, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Ten Commandments Award

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/05/2012

I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed!  Anne, Mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com has given  me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off  too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!

Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them!  I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.

1. Describe yourself in seven words.  whew that’s hard! I am complex !  persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable

2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical  like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.

3.Whom would you like to be?    ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.

4. What are you wearing now?  a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers

5.What scares you?  spiders and snakes

6.What are the best and the worst  things about blogging?    the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out  my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers.     The worst  thing is I never have time to read all I want  to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others

7.What  was the last website you looked at?  LinkedIn

8. If you could change something about yourself, what  would it be?  After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me.  but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.

9.  Slankets??? I don’t  even know what they are to ask anything about them!

10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you.  Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus”  in a woman’s heart makes her attractive  till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at  http://mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com

Ten Bloggers!!

1  http://lynleahz.com

2 http://lightof the world.wordpress.com

3 http://wingsof the wind.com

4 http://foreverpoetic.com

5 posesshispromises.wordpress.com

6. hometogo232.wordpress.com

7  settledinheaven.org

8  of dustandkings.com

9  momentumofjoy.com

10 God’spromisesarereal.com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Awards, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

FINISH THE QUESTIONS THAT GO WITH THE AWARD AND THEN PAY IT FORWARD

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/29/2012

I  am to answer the next 10 questions and then list nominate at least 5 min, 10 max bloggers that I appreciate or have been especially encouraging to me. So to those bloggers you will do the same.

1.  What is my favorite color? red, but then yellow would be a very close second

2.  What is my favorite animal? my Yorkshire terrier of course!

3. What is my favorite non – alchoholic drink? well that depends on the time of the day and do I need a pick-me-up. I must have gatorade and coke zero

4. Do I prefer Facebook or Twitter? I am 60, need you ask?

5. What is your favorite pattern? small houndstooth

6. Do I prefer giving or getting presents? I love to give-I can’t take anything with me after all.

7. What is my favorite number? 13 I

? each day is my favorite because I can be sharing Jesus with someone who opens his/her heart to Him 

9. What is my favorite flower? I blue iris, yellow roses, lily of the valley

10. What is my passion? That’s easy!  To know Jesus Christ in all of His Fullness and to share that with whomever the Father brings to me. of course writing about it all is pretty obessive too.

There are some writers that probably have been given so many awards so many times I am not sure that another will fit. but each of these ladies were with me in the begining. It was their encouragement that kept me writing regardless of how I felt: Marianne http://God’sPromisesAreReal.wordpress.com ; Joyce http://joycedevivre.wordpress.com; Debra http://TellGodThankyou.wordpress.com ; Jo http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com ; Dee http://lillies,sparrowsandgrass.wordpress.com ; Steven http://totheassemblywithlove.wordpress.com ; Rob http://settledinheaven.org

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad, Ezinearticles.com, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Relatioships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/29/2012

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad, Ezinearticles.com, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A New Truth–To Me Anyway Ist Peter 3, 4 & 5

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/09/2012

Marble headstone of a couple buried together i...

Marble headstone of a couple buried together in Singapore, showing an arched emblem, signifying the reunification with one’s partner in heaven. Within the arch is a statue of Jesus Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gee, that’s a lot of ground to cover and I don’t have a lot of time tonight either! But I so wanted to share what God is showing me in hopes that if you have not thought of or learned this particular lesson-maybe just knowing about it would lead you to study a little and save you from a lot of heartache and unreal expectations.

I read and hear often about what I’ll call the “prosperity gospel”. God meant for us to prosper-isn’t that what it says in Jeremiah 29:11? yes, but have you ever wondered what His idea of prosperity might be in comparison with yours?  And have you ever wondered why some of the poorest people are some of the happiest, most satisfied people in the Lord? I have!

Even as recently as last year, the first 2-3 months of this year, I thought that I was just “in the desert for awhile”.  Yes, this desert has been going on a long while now, but I always thought I’d come out the other side-like the Israelites did when they reached the Promised Land. Except what did they have to do then? They had to go in and win the land and clear it out per Jehovah’s instructions. There was no rest for the weary! In fact, if you are a student of the Word and you know Israel’s history, when have they ever really “come out of the desert into prosperity and had no worries, no problems holding on to any of it?”  I think the answer to that is “NEVER”

So then we come to the story of Jesus Christ. How God’s Son became flesh and came into our world and walked this earth. When did He have it easy? From the moment of His birth-The King of the Universe/Creator of All Things-was born in a stable. Not very clean, not very comfortable and not long after His birth, His mother and Joseph her husband were fleeing for their lives with a new born across-yes?-a desert! And as Jesus grows in Nazareth as a child, does He have an cushy life of a King? No, his “father'” is a carpenter-very physical labor. I would imagine, a lot harder than that of today. Even later as Jesus began His ministry, did He own anything? get taken care of, carried everywhere? Of course not! Jesus was followed; He was hounded, tormented, criticized, everywhere He went. And yet, the Bible says everytime He looked at the multitudes, He had compassion and love for them and made every effort to heal everyone who needed healing and fix anything that could be and those that couldn’t even by raising  the dead.

Of course we all know where this story goes—right to the cross! There have recently been some magnificent posts written on Jesus’ actual suffering from the beatings to the actual crucfiction. That is not my purpose tonight. My purpose in my long, drawn out way is to offer the possibility that we are not to expect OUR version of Prosperity! I can’t find it anywhere in the Word. What I did find is that from the beginning Jesus’ people have experienced suffering. It says we shall suffer as He suffered. No prosperity there. (the world’s idea of it!) We are to follow in His footsteps.

So you are asking now so where is 1st Peter in all this? There is a place of suffering in the Christian life. You can’t get around it. There are lot’s of kinds of suffering of course. God knows exactly though what will refine you, mold you, make you holy and fit for that day when you are redeemed. You see that is the KEY. GOD KNOWS. You will never get your mind around it, understand it or explain it. You might as well give up and accept it! Let me tell you, I wish I had given up long ago! Thanks be to God that He Never Gives Up and is always there patiently waiting.

So now I know that trials and tribulations are a natural thing of the day. ..but hardship is a blessing in itself; it shows that we are Christ’s and belong to Him. Suffering is also a blessing because of the opportunity it gives to demontrate the strength of God’s grace in both words and by life! So many people have said to me that they are so sorry for all I have had to go through. I reply and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,  that I would do it again, rather than not have the lessons, the fellowship, the RELATIONSHIP that I now have with Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God, Who Is and Was and Is To Come!

Jesus!!

 

 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Christianity, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, miscarriage, mitral valve prolapse, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, pulmonary embolism, Relatioships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rhuematoid arthritis, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments »

Back To The Tongue Ist Peter 4:11

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/01/2012

Cover of "What Jesus Would Say"

Cover of What Jesus Would Say

I have said that the Lord was really dealing with me on the subject of my speech. Sometimes others might wonder, Cindy how do you know? Well, the Lord confirms over and over by the scripture He gives me to ponder over in my study either in my formal Bible study or my daily devotional-sometimes both-a double whammy! Then I know it is important!

In my lesson, it is very obvious that one can only overcome a sin, a habit, by the power of the Holy Spirit. But once you have been made aware of the problem and you’ve asked for help, it is also incumbent upon you to invoke you own will and discipline because our Lord has given us a choice in all things, including being obedient in coming clean!

“If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.” I Peter 4:11

Grabs you, doesn’t it? Makes you not want to even open your mouth at all! Because can any one of us imagine speaking the very words of God? But we all do! Think about your witness everyday. Those that know that you are a believer-that hear what comes out of your mouth! Is it what Jesus would say? Do we always speak in gentleness and love and truth? and WHO am I to even ask this when I only speak with a voice by the grace of God!(yes I blogged about getting my voice back miraculously after 18 months of no voice after a stroke in 05) So you see why God my Father might be after me a little more than the average person?

I’ll go back even further, to Romans 14. Paul is giving the believers instructions in what to do, not to-even what to eat, not to eat-or drink as the case maybe. Actually he says that all food is clean, but that is our weaker brother would stumble because of something that they saw us do or say or eat or drink in our strength-then we are wrong in our actions because the kingdom of God is not a matter of behavior and speech but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

How great is our God! He brings something to our notice! Then He gives the power to overcome it! And continually supports that effort by sending  parts of His word our way along with prayer support until all is overcome. I love Him! I praise Him-He is not a Bully, but so gentle and loving and careful and compassionate, even as He cuts away that which is evil or diseased in me.

I have given Him permission to go into every room in my Spirit. Have you?

 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, breast cancer, C difficele, candidas, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, diabetes, dural arteriovenous fistulas, gastrointestinal reflux disease, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, life stories, mitral valve prolapse, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sleep apnea, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Ephesians 3:17-19 A New Take On ThisWonderful Scripture

Posted by Cindy H French on 04/14/2012

God‘s Word says (Paul is writing) And I pray that you being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the saints to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge-that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

Or a friend of mine put it another way: God’s love is wide enough to include every person; God’s love is long enough to last through eternity; God’s love is deep enough to reach to the worst sinner; God’s love is high enough to take us all to heaven.      permission by Dawn at http://www.infiniteloveministries.org

Talking about love, this weekend I had the privilege to meet and go through some biofeedback with a wellness doctor. He has a practice that God has given him in which he works with people to discover if there are other factors contributing to a person’s illness, usually chronic or who are having other physical issues. I have a dear sister who has had enormous breakthroughs physically with illness and other issues because of this doctor. She thought that because of my immunity issues along with 2 autoimmune diseases, I would benefit from seeing him. He is not covered by my insurance plan and  there was no way I could have afforded such visists. My sweet sister insisted that I go and she was taking care of the bill! And believe me, this was a major expense ! I can not begin to tell anyone how much this has meant to me! But she felt this was life and death for me and more important than anything else that she could do. How very dearly loved I feel!

So again, this wonderful scripture comes back to me this week from Dawn and here I am feeling so loved and then I have to concentrate again on Christ’s love-who loved me even when I didn’t love Him-yet was so willing to step into our time, take on the flesh of man and then die for me–all to bring me to the Father into His family.  I realized this weekend new and afresh that BECAUSE of Him, I am worthy. That is something I am going to have to concentrate on, meditate on, so that it permeates all of me, not just my spirit. I discovered this is a very important truth-especially for us-the females-because so very often, we never believe this about ourselves.

Posted in aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, cervical fusions, Christianity, life stories, occipital neuropathy, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis, seizures, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | 10 Comments »

Protected: Accomplishments

Posted by Cindy H French on 12/07/2011

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Life After a Stroke

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/08/2010

I didn’t really get the stroke diagnosis for about 3 months. I was referred to a Throat and Voice Specialist and after examining me, he asked me to see a neurologist. He didn’t explain the why of that thoroughly, just said that I might have some muscle issues. Of course I couldn’t talk yet. He did tell me that the vocal chords were still paralyzed and in whispers I could tell him about my issues with eating. I could not eat out in public as I never knew when I would choke and literally throw everything back up. These issues concerned him too and so pretty quickly I got in to see a new neurologist. This one specialized in neuromuscular diseases. WOW, that’s a death sentence. I went through all the testing over a six week time period and that included Christmas time. I’ll never forget my sister Marilou came to me and said, we are going to pray you through this. I just won’t accept such a diagnosis and can’t loose you! Thus began our weekly praying together. This is a whole different subject in itself and one day I’ll write about it, but here it is almost 5 years later and we are still praying together weekly.

So you know that since I am still alive, I didn’t have any of the neuromuscular diseases, but I had suffered a stroke. Back to the voice doctor, he planned surgery to move my vocal chords closer together, which would loosen them up. I also started speech therapy two to three times a week. Because I was so fatigued, he ordered a sleep study and we found that I stop breathing 86 times an hour! No wonder I was so tired!  So he ordered a BiPap machine which I wear at night that forces air down my nose and throat. I hate wearing it, but I hate being so tired more. We decided to try for the surgery which could fix the problem, but for me it didn’t work.

All this time, I spoke in whispers or if I forced it, I sounded like I had the worst case of laryngitis you’ve ever heard. I wasn’t really working. How can you be a recruiter without a voice? But occasionally a local client would call with a need and my wonderful office would rally and find a candidate for me.  I slept a lot and really withdrew a lot. If you knew me, you’d know  that was just not me! But with not being able to communicate, not being able to eat or drink in public–I just felt cut off from everything.

About this time, my husband brought me home a puppy one day. He looked like a Benji dog-was supposed to be a terrier/poodle mix who would only grow to 15lbs at most. We named him Kirby because my husband said he was a curbstone setter. Having a puppy really got me up and out of bed. To potty train a puppy you have to be viligant. He would let me stay in the bed for a 2 hour nap, but then he’d bark at me to get up-even if it was to the sofa. We took walks in the afternoon and I got stronger. No voice, but the rest of my body was beginning to heal.

Posted in cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, life stories, sleep apnea, stroke, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

2005 A Year of Drastic Change

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/06/2010

I mentioned in my last post that I had my last cervical fusion in 2005. It was August, I had produced enough sales in July and August to give me  great billings for a year that had been very slow and difficult so far. I was driving to Atlanta when my neurosurgeon called with my MRI results. For the first time in my dealings with him, he sounded anxious and concerned. I had a disk that had herniated into the spinal cord among other things. He told me not to lift a grandchild, or anything for that matter and to walk around like I was walking on eggs! If things got worse, I could have been paralyzed! Needless to say, I was really careful that weekend!

I came back home and began to plan for the surgery. I wasn’t particularly concerned. I HAD done this twice before! The great thing about this time was already having and working from a home office–frankly, I didn’t think I’d miss a step!

I really did fine with the surgery. I remember walking around the floor that first night,  but sometime during the night, I knew even as I lay asleep that I was in trouble! I couldn’t wake up! That was my last conscience thought for THREE days.

My husband found me not breathing the next morning. In a panic, he yelled for help, not remembering my living will-which was ok-but soon my room was filled with doctors and nurses and senior staff. They apparently tried a lot of things to get me to awaken once they had me breathing again. Nothing worked and I was moved to ICU. ( I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during all this) At any rate, I spent three days on a narcaine drip, sound asleep. My husband said that they kept telling him they were doing everything possible.

When I awoke, I had been moved back to my room and to my surprise, I had no voice! Also trying to eat, I choked on everything, even liquids! Apparently I had suffered a stroke, had a paralyzed vocal cord and the little flap over my esophagus and trachea didn’t work right and so I was choking. Pretty quickly, the paralysis was diagnosed. I had a specialist who came in and showed me how to eat-with my head turned to my left shoulder and pulled down as low as I could. I could only handle soft things, or thickened liquids and I couldn’t call for help with no voice. They also hooked me up to all kinds of monitors that went off all the time, but no one ever checked. It was not a good time.

One would think I would be devastated, but honestly God was closer to me than almost any other time in my life. I have so much scripture underlined with margin notes of that time in the hospital. Nights were the worst. Dennis had to leave me to work and I couldn’t sleep much because of the meds I was on. The following are some of the scriptures and notes that I made and I cherish now.

First, there was confidence that I was going to be healed…I thought my neck…God knew my voice, mind, and eating abilities…Psalm 41:3  The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. Aug 8, 2005.

Also I had been praying for a real hunger for His Word and the next day, God gave me Psalm 42:1-2 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My souls thirsts for God, for the Living God. When can I go and meet with God?…little did I know that soon I would be able to only do that!

The rest of the scriptures are pretty self-explanatory-night prayers, claims for my voice, worship.

Psalm 42:8 By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is within me-a prayer to the God of my life.    11 Put your hope in God for I will yet praise HIm, my Saviour and my God.                                                                                                                                                                         Psalm 43:2-5  You are God my stronghold. Send forth you light and you truth , let them guide me let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place you where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Put your hope in God for will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.        

There are so many more-but I can not write them all here. But believe me, the Psalms are a great way to get to know God.

Posted in cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, sleep apnea, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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