And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.



Ten Commandments Award

I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed!  Anne, has given  me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off  too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!

Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them!  I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.

1. Describe yourself in seven words.  whew that’s hard! I am complex !  persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable

2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical  like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.

3.Whom would you like to be?    ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.

4. What are you wearing now?  a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers

5.What scares you?  spiders and snakes

6.What are the best and the worst  things about blogging?    the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out  my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers.     The worst  thing is I never have time to read all I want  to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others

7.What  was the last website you looked at?  LinkedIn

8. If you could change something about yourself, what  would it be?  After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me.  but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.

9.  Slankets??? I don’t  even know what they are to ask anything about them!

10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you.  Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus”  in a woman’s heart makes her attractive  till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at

Ten Bloggers!!


2 http://lightof the

3 http://wingsof the





8  of


10 God’


I  am to answer the next 10 questions and then list nominate at least 5 min, 10 max bloggers that I appreciate or have been especially encouraging to me. So to those bloggers you will do the same.

1.  What is my favorite color? red, but then yellow would be a very close second

2.  What is my favorite animal? my Yorkshire terrier of course!

3. What is my favorite non – alchoholic drink? well that depends on the time of the day and do I need a pick-me-up. I must have gatorade and coke zero

4. Do I prefer Facebook or Twitter? I am 60, need you ask?

5. What is your favorite pattern? small houndstooth

6. Do I prefer giving or getting presents? I love to give-I can’t take anything with me after all.

7. What is my favorite number? 13 I

? each day is my favorite because I can be sharing Jesus with someone who opens his/her heart to Him 

9. What is my favorite flower? I blue iris, yellow roses, lily of the valley

10. What is my passion? That’s easy!  To know Jesus Christ in all of His Fullness and to share that with whomever the Father brings to me. of course writing about it all is pretty obessive too.

There are some writers that probably have been given so many awards so many times I am not sure that another will fit. but each of these ladies were with me in the begining. It was their encouragement that kept me writing regardless of how I felt: Marianne http://God’ ; Joyce; Debra ; Jo ; Dee http://lillies, ; Steven ; Rob




Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

“I Know Exactly How You Feel!”

My favorite phrase these days, my validation for who I am and why I am living! But this is what God showed me last night and this morning: in Hebrews 4,  Jesus is the Great High Priest. And even though he has been through the heavens, Jesus is our high priest who can symphatize with our weaknesses-our every sin-because he was tempted as well-yet without sin. He also knows what it is to be cold, be hungry, be thirsty–whatever we are except without sin.

So when I am going through some trial physical or spiritual, Jesus can say to me.  “Oh Cindy, I know exactly how you feel! These are normal feelings, those are not-this is what the Father says about the trouble…” And then He proceeds to give me the comfort that I turn around and give to others, which is all II Corinthians 1:4. Isn’t that just the neatest thing?  Because I understood about His comfort. He has given me so much of it over the years. I don’t think I would have made it without it. But I had never seen Him as the Person going through everything that I was…yet he was.

I guess what I want to convey in this posting is the unlimited, overwhelming, incredible love that Jesus has for his own  that He would do this.  Over and over He’s told me how He love’s me and how  I need to trust him more-much more! And  of course I do trust Him and remind Him I have at least faith the size of a mustard seed! But how I want to grow it and mature myself  in Him. And of course, that means more prayer and Bible study! Thank you Jesus that you answered my heartfelt cry to make me want to study your word, to make me want to spend time with you. Now I have to work it out  to do my other required tasks because I would rather be here with you. Thank you.  On August 5, 2005 I prayed this prayer from Psalm 40:7-8  Then I said, “Here I am, I have come– it is written about in the scroll. I desire to do your will , O my God; your law is within my heart. A few days later,  I was in the hospital getting a cervical fusion and had a stroke. God used that time with me to teach me love and patience and gentleness-but it took this last year to learn to truly trust Him. I have written about some of these experiences-my hospitalization, losing my voice, getting a puppy to get me out of bed; but I just realized that I haven’t written about learning to trust Him.  Maybe He is not ready for me to write of it yet-because He directs my writing, maybe I don’t really trust Him enough yet. I think I do, but the Father knows all things and can certainly see my heart. Well, I am certain of one thing, eventually you will hear that story as well.

Some Major Obstacles

One of our challenges in our first house in Atlanta was a small deck and lot’s of pine trees. My husband was such a great handy man-do it yourselfer-before the HGTV stuff!

We had a big back yard and wanted a puppy for the kids and so he rented an auger-a posthole digger and proceeded to put a fence in. It was very physically taxing. I could only help with offers of water or food or occasionally moving stuff, but he did all the work. Then he proceeded to take down “extra” pine trees. He had a pulley with a chain, along with his other tools and he took down a bunch. One day while he was working outside, my daughter came rushing up and and told me to come to Dennis right away.  The pulley had broken and the cable had snapped back on his leg and torn it. He had a towel wrapped around it and was very calm, telling me I needed to take him to the ER. That was Dennis-still is-very calm when emergencies are happening! We went to the ER down the street and they cleaned him, stitched him up and gave him antibiotics. He was doing well, I thought, when a few mornings later, I saw red streaks running down his leg and I knew that meant blood poisoning. Back we went to the ER and got more meds. Again, Dennis was a lot calmer and less concerned than I was but he healed and was good to go! The next thing I knew, he was building onto our existing deck and expanding it all across the back of our house. It and he were amazing! We celebrated Laurel’s sixth birthday with all her friends on that deck. It was a lovely party because of him.

One of the hardest things we dealt with as parents was Laurel’s difficulties in school. She simply couldn’t stay in her seat! Yet she read National Geographic magazines-in the first grade! She also had a bladder problem. Her teacher suggested we take her to the pediatrician and find out what was going on. And so began our odessey to take care of Laurel…

We were referred to two doctors. The first was a pediatric neurologist. She did some testing with Laurel. After the first session, she called us and said that although there was more to do and she’d also give a written report, Laurel needed immediate help and she didn’t want to wait to give it. She ordered Ritalin for ADHD and also suggested we see a pediatric urologist. This was long before all the ADHD diagnosis’ or the use of Ritalin, but it did make an immediate impact on Laurel’s behavior and her ability to concentrate. The Ritalin also helped a bit with her bladder problems. Her brain and her body didn’t get the signals right that she had a need to go to the bathroom. With the urologist, we found out that she had a bladder the size of a pea. He operated, stretching out the bladder, which also helped, but didn’t eliminate the problem, especially at night. I must admit, this was not my finest moment as a mother! I should have found other solutions for her other than our daily unhappy, change the sheets sessions. Still with the medicine, Laurel improved greatly in school-she was/is quite intelligent and soon was bored with her studies. They put her in higher level learning classes and the education was great, but she was much too young and immature for her classmates. She was not a happy little girl…unless she was reading. She loved to read and read everything she could get her hands on! Then she’d tell you about whatever she had learned. We were always being amazed. Our only other issue with Laurel was her singing! The first time she sang, we all came running, thinking she was hurt or something. Of course, that wasn’t funny to her, but we admonished her after the 3rd or 4th time that she had to come tell us when she was going to sing. And she would! Wherever we were, whatever we were doing, she’d come and say “I’m going to sing now” and off she would go. Laurel still loves to sing!

Finally that last year in Atlanta, I changed my office hours to be home with the girls in the afternoon. I hoped that my being there would help with Laurel’s happiness and behavior. I have to admit, I was still too consumed with my responsibilities with work and spent a great deal of time on the phone instead of them…one of those things I’d definitely do over.

Settling Down to Married Life with Kids

We first rented a house a Dunwoody and settled in. I continued working as a recruiter. Dennis was a manufacturer’s rep. The girls were in school and pre-school. As I look back on that time, I am amazed that we all adjusted as well as we did. The girls liked to help Dennis with “stuff” that he did-either around the house or garage or car. The only thing they didn’t like-ever, for any house, was yard work! Our only bumpy time was my trying to be super mom and super wife! I would put a full dinner on the table every night, do laundry, iron shirts, keep the house clean and that was after working all day. Of course other women do this-now and then-with my greatest admiration! But my problem was with the complaints I got at what I was trying to do!  The kids didn’t always like dinner. I didn’t get the shirts done like he wanted. Laundry always seemed to pile up without any help there…I tried to do better. Got up earlier, went to bed later-really didn’t stop. Just like every other working mom in America! but eventually the complaints and lack of cooperation got to me and I went on strike!! Yes, I did! That meant no cooking dinner, no laundry, no shirts starched and ironed, no house cleaned-nothing!

At first my family thought it was funny. But after 3 days, not so much. I have to say they were creative with dinner and they learned to work together with Dennis. The main thing was they all “got it”. Mom needed help and cooperation, not whining and complaining. So after a family pow-wow, chores were divided up, Dennis’ shirts went to the laundry, and he brought home a microwave oven which wasn’t a home staple appliance in 1980-but made my life so very much easier!

During our talks before marriage, Dennis and I had discussed my self image and my desire to have a breast reduction. I saw a plastic surgeon at Emory and arranged to have it done that summer after we married. During the exam, it was discovered that I had a major hernia down my midline from childbirth, so they were going to fix that too. I had the surgery and did very well. I was extremely pleased with my results. One day home from the hospital though and I suddenly couldn’t breathe. Dennis rushed me back to the hospital and they discovered a pulmonary embolism. I was very lucky-it was small and responded to medicine, but it did put my recovery back a bit.

Eventually I went back to work-with a vengeance-to make up for lost time and soon was made manager of the office. I loved what I did. I liked talking to people. I liked solving puzzles. To me, search was like finding the needle in the haystack that fit in with the other needles.  As Atlanta began to grow, my boss opened another office in the Norcross area. He asked me to staff it and run it along with the Lenox office. A big job, but I was so proud of my accomplishments and his confidence in me, I never thought that it would be too much. I just did it.

Now this was way before non-smoking offices–and everyone in our office smoked except for me! I started getting sinus infections and then chronic bronchitis-never realizing that they might be connected to the smoke. One time it got so bad, I wasn’t allowed to talk for 2 weeks. My husband had asked my office to hang up on me if I called in, which of course I did. I was grateful that this was during the end of the year and during the holiday period when things slowed down.

We had been married about 2 years when we started talking about relocating to Tampa, FL. My parents, sister and brother lived in Orlando. Dennis’ brother lived in Tampa and everytime we visited in January or February, I fell more in love with the area-especially the weather. Another year went by and Dennis tried for a transfer-in the middle of the trial period, the company withdrew from the market. He came home and we took our house off the market. (we had purchased a house in Roswell after our first year). I kept working, but my boss, in anticipation of my leaving had a hired a new manager. Unfortunately she was the antithesis of me-which meant we lost tenured employees-and for me, was very difficult to work with. Now I really wanted to move on!

Finally Dennis worked out a partnership with a guy in Jacksonville who wanted a Tampa office. He moved down while I stayed with the girls to get the house sold. It was a lonely time for me. Reminded me of being a single mom and made me so much more grateful for him and his care for me and the girls. After about 10wks on the market, we sold the house, loaded up our possessions in a big U-Haul truck-which Dennis drove and I followed in my car.

That was July 1984. You might notice that there was no mention of God or church or prayer for guidance. I was still in my “God mad”. We occasionally went to church as a family. I always took the girls to Sunday School-but that was it. I didn’t really see God’s care for me and mine those years, yet as I look back, He certainly was there carrying us and caring for us. Still, I was oblivious.