RETHINKING THINGS…

I reblogged two posts tonight that I had written when I was in the hospital last summer with a pulmonary embolism. I had been reading through past posts of 2013 and kept going right into 2012 until I came to July. Not that I have ever forgotten that I wrote what I wrote about Hebrews 1 & 2, it’s just that I hadn’t gone back and read it since last July. As I read, it became very clear to me that God was writing both of those posts! I was very ill and pretty out of it with that embolism. I remember clearly Him telling me to read the scripture every morning and then He would put me to sleep and make those scriptures come alive in my dreams. Those,  I will never forget- I can still see them in my mind’s eye so fresh as if it were yesterday. So I thought the message needed to be repeated, perhaps even more now than then. God only knows who will read them now.

I pray it makes a difference in somebody’s life

Advertisements

MY ARM UPDATE

I have progressed to being able to type  for short periods. I don’t have to use all caps, can use punctuation, paragraphs and the sort so I thought I might finally be ready for an update.

I had the MRI of my shoulder that I had said I would have after Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, it showed that I had fractured my shoulder-and 4 weeks later not healed and that I had 3 tears in different places including the rotator cuff! When I saw my doctor, he was surprised about the fracture as I was, not so much about the rotator cuff tear but the others absolutely! He said “No wonder you hurt!” And I said, ” Did you think I was faking?” He of course did not, but thought that I was in an inordinate amount of pain for what he had thought I was dealing with! Actually I think the fact that I manage with the pain that I deal with at all is a miracle and be able to work too. So now that the shoulder is so very complicated, he has decided to pass me up/down to “more qualified” surgeon doctors in his practice! I guess I should be thankful as my daughters thought. I really liked him though, and now at the end of the year, I have to start all over with a new doctor. He knew I wasn’t happy about it, but advised me that anybody would insist on the fracture healing before operating.

So on to my next challenge! I had to have GYN (female) surgery on the 19th. This is NOT SOMETHING I AM GOING TO DISCUSS HERE! Surprise! I know that I have been really open about my foibles and life and all, but except to say that if I had not had this surgery, that sometime in the near future, my life could have been at serious risk. That being said, it also was terribly painful! The doc said, oh, it will be like you had a baby. Ok that wasn’t so bad except that’s when I found out I was allergic to iodine. They used to put it in a spray on solution for episiotomy incisions. THAT was much worse than having the baby! So I thought, it couldn’t be that bad! WRONG!! This is 62 like having a baby! God did not make us to have babies at 62 except as He has reminded me Sarah at 100 had Issac -in the desert and with no drugs! So I guess i need to quit complaining except that I don’t seem to be healing well here either.

Why have I shared such information now with all of you? Because I know you pray for me. So I am asking for all of your prayers… it has made such a difference in my life before… I need to heal. I know I have the immunity issue, but I wouldn’t have thought that would impede healing, maybe it is, I don’t know. The Lord has not told me He will not heal me, he has just offered comfort in other ways. My dear husband is doing his best to feed me nutritious things that will promote my healing… but like I said, the shoulder fracture was still “very fractured” at 6 weeks, so I only know to go to the Lord in prayer. 

I remind Him of all of scriptures on healing like the familiar Isaiah 53:5  …and by His wounds we are healed… This is important for all of us though James 5:16 …pray for each other that you may be healed… and 1st Peter  2:24 …by his wounds you have been healed.  But I do think the key is praying for one another. So while I am praying for ya’ll, please be praying for me!

Goodnight and God bless!

What A Lovely Weekend!

I feel so privileged to have family that loves one another! This weekend my husband and I spent with my sister and her husband who recently moved to Charleston and with our move in February, to Atlanta, now we are just 5 hours apart! The Lord blessed us with great weather and so we were able to go out in their boat and explore the coastline, the river, and some of the canals. We saw the lot where they are going to build her dream house after years of building and designing so many others’ dream homes.  Of course, my sister out did  herself with dinner last night. I even had to  bring home the recipe for the salad; it was so great!.

I  ostensibly went over to work with her to help her with marketing her business only to find out God had already been working on her behalf and teaching her Himself! How much better is that? And the stories she was telling me? Well, suffice it to say, her stories just as miraculous, wonderful, and quirky as mine are because we serve an awesome God!!

Last Tuesday night,  I started my Bible Study Fellowship class. It was a new group, in a new location because of our anticipated move  next spring. To me, it was like coming home in so many ways. Not  that the first group I attended was not a lovely group of ladies, it was. But this group simply reminds me in so many ways, of my friends at home-it’s just comforting. And the material is all new! New features and in depth scriptures! I really like it. It is like it is all brand new to me–like I have never studied it before. 

The other  very nice news from last week is that another sister–the one in Florida, is coming up to go to the Women of Faith conference here in October. that is so special to me! It seems like we have been going forever. I know at least for 10 years and now even with the move, it is nice to know that we won’t be stopping that tradition either!

So now to prayer requests: my back has gotten seriously bad for me. Turning or changing positions in bed or in a chair has gotten to being a very difficult proposition. I am having to use more medication than I like to use even though I know I have it for this very thing! I do have a last block planned for Tuesday. If it doesn’t hold, the doctor says I am most probably going to need surgery as I have been dealing with this problem for over a year and have had multiple blocks, which make me the perfect candidate for the procedure. They call it band-aid surgery these days-out patient procedure, but between this and another female issue, I may be spending a little more time than I would like or have planned with doctors. I would love it if the Lord would just make it all just go away. Please pray to that end.

Goodnight! God bless.

Just A Quick Note

For those of you who have been following me for some time now, you might remember that one of my many trials has been with rheumatoid arthritis. In fact, there was a time in 2011 and early 2012 when I was off of the Remicade medicine because of a systemic infection I had and I was in so much pain, I was just almost asking the Lord to take me home.  I guess if I was a suicidal person which I am most certainly not, that would have been an option for me.  It was a 24/7 grinding pain. I was always aware of it even in what sleep I got. Again, you might remember my writing of a woman praying for me outside of my BSF (Bible Study Fellowship International) and God taking that grinding pain away. I felt so fortunate when the immunologist allowed me to go back on Remicade when he put me on the gamma globulin for the immunity disorder. Then there was the big, bad C Difficele  infection in my colon that I got last April  2012 and we tried and tried to cure it. Do you remember how that cure started? I was sitting in an urgent care waiting on test results, hoping I didn’t have sepsis again. while I was waiting God said to me, ” Cindy, if you don’t stop taking the Remicade,  you will never get rid of the C Diff.  And of course I began to argue with Him!! You would have thought that I would have learned by then! I was so upset that He would even ask me after I had suffered so much the last time I was off of it. This time He said, you won’t hurt anymore. I can still remember the amazement I felt. One, why had I had to hurt so badly the other time? How was I going to trust Him with this now? So I told Him just that. And that it wasn’t just me to be convinced, but also my husband and my doctors. He laughed or chuckled at me and said ok if I remember correctly without going back to that post. Two minutes later my phone buzzed and a scripture came scrolling across the face of it. Numbers 29:19 This scripture still blows me away and one of my dear loved ones and fellow blogger used this scripture just this week. 

God is not a man that He should lie, nor a son of man that He should change His mind. Does He speak and then not act? Does He promise and not fulfill?

I looked at that scripture and I just started laughing! I said back to Him, “You are really serious about this aren’t you?” He was. Of course my husband was concerned when I told him what I wanted to do and some of my doctors thought I was crazy-but not the believers of course, they and I knew better than to disobey the Lord. And of course my C Diff was cured.  Looks like it is still cured or if it raised it’s ugly head for a couple of weeks, the medicine I was given this time, worked. But the reason for this quick little post is to give you are an update on my RA.

When we first moved to Atlanta, one of my first new doctors was a rheumatologist. When he first examined me, I had been off of Remicade about 4 months. I told him my story. His response was that he would take all the help he could get (wherever it came from). Still he said for someone who had had the disease as long as I had and has bad as I had, once he examined me and then looked at the xrays, he could believe that I was in such great shape. He smiled when I said I wasn’t surprised. So yesterday I saw him again. This time he is even more surprised. he says ” I am in remission”. That remission is the only way he can explain my continued lack of joint pain like I used to have and the flexiblity that I exhibited during the exam. (even with my lower back-which he says is a disc problem, not RA) Even the nodules that you used to could feel on my heels or different places including my hands are better. That isn’t remission, that an amazing God!!

So besides what seems to be the turning around of my life in terms of my business which will make such a great impact on our finances, I believe that God is truly healing me. Maybe one disease at a time and maybe with a little help, but I am planning for a future now, a bright future for as long as the Lord taries…which frankly I don’t think is so very far in the future if you have studied even a little bit of Prophecy. I certainly hope to speak to this with the next post.

In the meantime, for Big Brother who I understand reads everything that is posted, please feel free to email me your questions as I am sure there are many. I serve an awesome and mighty, miraculous God. The God who made this planet, this universe and all that is out there beyond us. I love and worship my God and my Savior Jesus Christ.  I want that to be perfectly clear and if I have not made it clear every time I have posted before, I will now. As the Apostle Paul, I am not ashamed of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, my Lord.

And Life Keeps Slipping On By…2 ER Visits

My August was crazy busy, punctuated by two ER visits that I couldn’t let slow me down. I know that might sound crazy in lieu  of all my physical issues, but to me, they were simply attacks. Satan‘s way of keeping me off my game. The first was my asthma of course. We tried the fire station again, but for some reason they took 10 minutes to come to the door and finally my husband had to call 911 to get them to call them. Their lights were out, I guess they all were sleeping. But it took them so long to get to me and then to decide to do anything-and nothing of importance that I wound up in the ER. The ER released me just in time to visit my pulmonologist that I already had an appointment with. It felt like one big plan on somebody else’s part. I finally got enough breathing treatments and drugs to do better-but a waste of time and energy as far as I am concerned.

And then because I had had a very short dose of antibiotics for that respiratory issue, my C Diff decided to raise its ugly head again and so I was in the ER  for a Monday afternoon for that. Unfortunately, that one’s not so easily gotten rid of and so I am still dealing with it and will for a awhile.  I did have a scan to make sure I hadn’t suddenly grown a tumor or a blockage, incase anyone would question that, but negative on that end too. Did I forget anything? oh yes, last week, I also had an eye infection. Nothing drops won’t take of though.

  I still base everything on 2 Corinthians 1: 4 though: The God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we can comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  (American Standard Version)

So what do I think happened to me in August? Satan’s winning? God isn’t watching out for me so carefully? I think I covered this in my last post, but let me say it again, I believe that everything that touches me has to come filtered through God’s fingers. Just as the silversmith cannot take his eyes off of the silver being refined by the fire, neither can the Father take His eye off of me. So you say, “Cindy what about all these afflictions still?” I don’t know of fruit coming off the asthma episode yet, but I certainly saw it with the C Diff and a young nurse taking care of me in the ER. All afternoon I had wondered why I was there again, so soon after the last time, but it was for her. She is a nurse today because her brother had leukemia when she was young. He was one of the “lucky ones”. He now runs a camp for seriously ill children and she is nurse–would either of those careers been sought if other circumstances had prevailed in their young lives? But look whose lives they are touching now! I asked, of course about their own personal beliefs. I was very happy that both of them know Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God as their personal Savior. What I did encourage her to do is to write all her memories down from the sister perspective. How helpful that might be for someone else! She is like me and thinks she can’t write a book either, so I told her all about blogging. I hope she joins our world and she tells her brother. They could so multiply the good they do.

And you might be asking yourselves, “well, Cindy if you are so sure about your Heavenly Father and His eyes on you, why would you be questioning where you are again?” That would be because I am not perfect yet, especially when I am hurting. I need my Father right there, front and center, talking to me, telling me what I am supposed to do and if there is talking to be done to somebody, to bring them on, but that I need the right pain meds to be able to do that talking. My hospital doesn’t like Demerol. Until I had spend several hours rolling around in pain regardless of how much morphine they gave me, they didn’t go find any Demerol. It was amazing though how fast that Demerol worked! Then I could talk! And talk I did.

The other reason that I was questioning things was that the day before I had been absolutely compelled to go to FB Atlanta. I didn’t feel that well, my husband didn’t at all and so I had gone alone. Dr. Stanley spoke on 2 Corinthians 1: 4!  It’s funny, but I don’t believe I have ever heard a sermon on my verse before. Actually that wasn’t his main text. His main text was I Peter 1: 3-7  Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us a new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade–kept in heaven for you, who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation  that is ready to be revealed in the last time. In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith–of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire–may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.

Dr Stanley had many very important parts to his sermon. He thought they were so important that we all needed to be able to take notes and put them in our Bibles.  As it is late and I have already been so wordy, I’ll save the notes for part 2. So ya’ll come back now, cause these are great!!

POOL PARTY

Yesterday the complex where we live had a pool party. The management cooked hot dogs and hamburgers and they had all the trimmings for them. Overall it was also sponsored by AT&T U-Verse. All the people from AT&T were there trying to sign you up if you weren’t already with AT&T. They are so serious about this that they have a representative assigned to the complex. I am not going to go into detail about the service on the TV or the internet, but as far as the PHONE is concerned, the service has been outstanding. I was having a little problem with “hangers onto my line” like what we’ve heard about in Washington for Verizon users. So if it was happening for Verizon, it was happening to AT&T too. I was so shocked when I called after a month of pickups and click-offs, hoping I was paranoid, but when my line was checked, I was told I had some “interference” on it. The rep couldn’t tell exactly what it was, but he didn’t particularly like all of the stuff going on in Washington either, and this was soon after the Verizon fiasco surfaced, so he told me he was sending a rep out. You can’t believe my amazement when the tech guy said that yes, my line was tapped! He asked me what I talk about and who I speak with. I have had one Skype conversation with a candidate in London and one phone conversation with an attorney in London. But otherwise, I keep my LinkedIn contacts to professionals in what I would consider “safe” countries. Now as to my conversations, to any and all, there was a lot of discussion of all the stuff going on. That was when you could hear the “pick-up”  and when conversation went back to business, you could hear the “hang-up”. What  was important was that people I was speaking with could hear it too. Of course my family thought I was crazy. you, I am always talking about how the world is going toward that time that the Bible has predicted. The Rapture has to be close by in time, just based on what is happening in the Middle East and with Israel in particular. To me, this is very exciting. I have read and studied prophecy scriptures since my 20’s-yep 40 years! But back to my phone-the tech guy put a whole system filter on it since I write freely as well as use the phone. Yesterday my techie brother put out a notice to everyone that anything we write is subject to being read by Big Brother. So my phone was working fine for about 3 weeks, then it started up again. Thank goodness my original service guy had given me his direct number. I called and this time a little higher lever tech came out and put something different-I won’t say what- on our system and so far so good.  Well at least in terms of what I can hear. I know Big Brother has gadgets that they can use and they don’t need to tap a line to hear a conversation.  What is amazing to me is why me? Just because I am vocal about all the scandals in Washington and I was very vocal with the Gestapo state government that has a new state law about registering your car if you are a new resident–I did call the state senator, my local state legislator, the governor, the tax collector, the TV stations, the radio stations (talk) and posted to their Facebook pages, I still don’t see why anyone would do that. This is America! We are supposed to be able to speak our minds.  Certainly the far left does with impunity, so why shouldn’t I?   So that was the Oprah version of why At&T has my phone and internet service. We won’t talk about the TV service.

What I really wanted to talk about was the party and getting to know a few of my neighbors. I met a lovely woman, a teacher of reading and math to third graders. She had read the “Left Behind” series.  (By the way if you haven’t read the books, you should, it takes the prophecy scripture, puts it into novel form and allows the reader to see exactly what is going to happen to those who are left behind after the rapture of the church) I have read all 14 books twice. They are fantastic. Every time I would be reading one in public-when I was traveling or in a waiting room for instance-people would just come up to me and start talking about the book or the series. At any rate, we had a very wide ranging conversation over the course of the party about the books and what has happened since they were written-even more proof that they were “God-inspired. We talked about MR O in the White House. She had very different views than I on him and what’s happening there. I brought up another author, Robert Ludlam. He had written a book called the “Illuminati”. She had read that too. We did agree that it is very possible that such a group exists in our world and chooses who is in any government, who lives and who is assassinated.

I did talk about this blog, what God has done for me and what He has taught me through the path I have had to walk. I also told her about the book I am reading that I mentioned earlier God’s Astounding Opinion of You.  She said she thought that might make for some really good reading. I hope so. I hope I  have made a new friend.

In conclusion, I just want to salute the women who were serving on the jury in Florida. It was obvious that they took their jobs very seriously by the questions that they asked back of the judge. They took the time needed to go over what they had seen and heard in that courtroom for the last 3 weeks. And to a one they all agreed on a not guilty verdict.  That took some real gumption because everyone knew before this trial started just how much political power was being exerted to even have a trial and then to convict. SO I SAY THESE SIX WOMEN ARE TO BE CONGRATULATED FOR DOING WHAT WAS SO OBVIOUSLY RIGHT TO MOST OF THE WORLD WHO ACTUALLY WATCHED THE TRIAL VS THOSE WHO TAKE THEIR BELIEF AND BEHAVIOR CUES FROM PEOPLE WHO ONLY CARE ABOUT THEIR OWN AGENDAS-NOT WHAT MIGHT BE BEST FOR THEIR OWN PEOPLE.

 Now I rest my case as my words about this particularly poor example of our political system but hope that the world sees that when a true and honest court is held-even with a prejudicial judge-that our system works!! Hallelujah!

I’ve Been Reading A New Book-You Know What That Means!!

This book is going to completely change up some of your thought processes!! It came highly recommended to me by my dear “baby” sister who had had it given to her by my next to me younger sister! Of course as I have been reading it and loving it and completely blown away by the thoughts here but understanding some scriptures now for the first time-they actually really make good sense, I am wondering why she didn’t recommend the book to me too. I will have to ask. However, at least God got it to me. Thank her for reading it 3 times I understand and my baby sister for reading it and then giving it to me with the understanding that I have to give it back-some day!I  may have to read this one 3 times too, to get it all down!! So with that buildup!! Ta Da!! the name of the book is  God’s Astounding Opinion Of You. It was written by Ralph Harris.  Oh, and it turns out that brother number one apparently has read it too and knows of the author.

Before I go into the book I will just throw there that I love book recommendations-especially from my family-but also from my readers, so if you’ve read something wonderful that touched you to the bottom of your toes, you write me back and tell me so. It may take me awhile get through the books, but I will.

I am not going to do a “cliff’s notes for you. But I do want to go through some things that hit me right off the top that were different from what most books are about. This book is not going to tell you “how to get better”. Surprised? Don’t be.. The premise is,, we are already better because on the day we accepted Jesus as our Savior and the Holy Spirit of God came to live inside of us, we became a new creation ourselves. And our Father always sees us as that creation and no other.  That’s a big one, isn’t it? But really if you will just believe it and live it, understanding that accurate self-estimation is based entirely upon what God thinks of you, then you are truly free to go and live well because you are well. That sounds like such a conundrum, doesn’t it? I hope it makes you read the first chapter!

So you want a little more of what I am talking about? Ok take how we look at ourselves. I am now 62. I don’t look like I did at 25 or 35 or even 55. My kids think I am vain because I put make up on everyday, whether I am going out or not. I have done this since I started wearing makeup, so it really doesn’t have anything to do with age, I guess. You know when it starts? it starts when somebody tells you that you aren’t pretty enough when you are a little girl or you are special enough for this or that. I heard that I wasn’t pretty, I was cute. I didn’t know it bothered until one day in my 40’s I happened to repeat to my husband-whoops! that was a mistake! he’s my biggest fan! But that’s what I mean. I’m sure the remark wasn’t said to be hurtful-and in so many ways now as I look back I can see as an adult how easily Satan tricks us into believing lies about ourselves.  I know something else that this showed me and this is for all the moms or grandmothers who might be reading this we have no idea how harmful our words can be to a child and what  havoc it can play in their lives.

Has it ever struck you that God who lives inside YOU is reading what YOU are reading right now? oooooh! boy did that change some of my reading selections! I thought I had done a good job of weeding out the chaff, but when you look at it this way, it changes your perspective just a little wouldn’t you say?  and next lets talk about how we see our struggles and our failures and our shortcomings-well all of you know that I am a mess and in a great need of fixing, right??  WRONG!! YES! AMAZINGLY YES!! and this is the part you have to get when we become fixated on ourselves and how we need fixing, we are not fascinated and fixated on GOD. Did you get that? DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT? No? Ok, then get the book, it is wonderful!!

Oh and I have to tell you one more thing, in the 2nd chapter, the author backed right into talking to God and God talking back to him just like HE did me!! I was so excited about that! remember when I wrote ya’ll about that?  And God talks about Perfect People. Remember me talking about that? ok I’ve got to stop or I would go on all night.

A very big thank you to those who wrote and welcomed me back. I appreciate it. For those that didn’t write, I could use your prayers at the least just that I can keep my eyes fixated on the Lord and not on me. That if you have prayer requests you will write and share them with me. I have a journal now so that I don’t forget anything. Know that I am very thankful for you all and anxious to re-visit your sites over the weekend and catch up.

Goodnight and God Bless,

Cindy