Still Trusting-And For So Much More Now!

My world has changed  since I last wrote!  First my husband came in my office last week and said he was ready to move to Atlanta!! Now for those of you who do not know me or my background, I moved to Atlanta at age 16, not very happily but eventually it was home. Then in my early to mid 30’s  in 1984 it was,  we moved to Tampa. I was very happy with the move. My parents lived in Orlando and I could see about them regularly. I loved the weather and overall we have done pretty well here. However our children went home to Tampa after college and now that is where my grandchildren are. I am learning every day how short life really is and those precious moments that I could be with them, I’ve been here out of fear in some cases, because I believe I have some extraordinary doctors taking care of me and have wondered how in the world I would replace them. Of course, my Abba Father has brought this to my attention-the lack  of faith on my part that He wouldn’t help me identify the right doctors to take care of me there. And as for the cold, well, I can dress for it. But it is an easy trade to be with my girls-all of them!!

We talked about moving two or three years ago, but at that time, my husband still had that double machine in his chest and was still in a lot of pain and the cold made it worse. So after all of my plans with my wonderful boss, we scrapped it all and stayed.  And of course with the craziness of my body this past 2 years I guess this is where God wanted me to be.  Still, I am very thankful that I can work out arrangements  to continue to work for Gary and MRI, stay insured and widen my client base. I believe I can resurrect some old clients. I was just speaking with 2 of those very special ladies I did work for 10 and 11 years ago for the first time last week. It was pretty thrilling to me to be so well remembered.

Of course we can not leave until next July1 when our lease is up. I know that sounds like such a long time! But  to us and especially to my husband who will bear the brunt of the packing up and the putting back in order this lovely villa just the way we found it, he will need every day of every month that we have!  We have so loved it here. I was planning on seeing if we could sign up for 2 more years right after Christmas, so you can imagine my big surprise! But how lovely a surprise. NOW MS. DIANE, I don’t have to be the little bit jealous of you that I was with your move. I could certainly understand it. I too will be limited in how much I can do or help. which leads me to my second surprise. And this one isn’t so pleasant. I had more of what I would call a seizure coming home from church today. My husband was driving, I had started to say something, but all of a sudden my neck got rigid and my head was turning back and forth and I was saying with difficulty no, not , no, not. My right hand was holding on to the door handle-I thought if I let go of it, my arm would go flying. I don’t know that, that would be true, it was just a feeling.  This went on for a full minute-to a minute and half and now stands as the weirdest thing  that has ever happened to me. A couple of things I did notice and have continued having pain and just weird feeling with is my neck. Especially if I have it tilted down to read or I am paying attention to my hands on the keyboard too long. What I had alluded to last week physically is that I am having some similar issues with my head like I did when I had those tumors back in 2009. I don’t know that this is a reoccurance, because my neck wasn’t involved at all then, and it definitely is now. So after speaking to a sub neurologist, mine was out of town. I will be making calls in the morning and hoping to get some testing done. What I would ask you dear friends is your prayers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing like having your friends and loved ones pray for you. This may come to nothing like in March–but I know it was worse, and harder on me and God forbid that I would have been driving.  So now I have a driver for awhile! So let’s hope and pray that someone will have some answers this time.

 I will try and keep up some regular posts to let you know what’s happening. I realized with Diane not well and moving how hard it was waiting to hear. So I will try and be good about it.

The previous post was written last night. I didn’t publish because I wanted to speak to my boss, my doctor and see what was up before I sent out such a disquieting post!  The bad news is that I had another episode this morning. And I still believe that my neck is somehow involved. We did go down and see my neurologist, but unfortunately, this is not her area of expertise. She had no ideas of what to tell me to do or who to see or even what basic tests could be run-which I can guess myself what 2 basic tests would be. So my surgeon referred me to another doctor right at end of the business day so I will have to call for an appt  tomorrow.. In the meantime, I am working carefully and asking the Lord to protect us, bless us, go before us.

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THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

It’s Been A Whole Week!

It has been a whole week since a post from me! Beloved ones, it is not because I wanted it that way, it was that part of the week I was really sick again with the asthma. My precious Lord told 5 people to call me that day to pray for me! I was so surprised!  Each one knew I was ill, but not with what and that they were to pray and so they did. This was Tuesday. It was very difficult because I needed to work–I had made good calls the day before but Tuesday is always followup day. I had been up twice during the night to use my nebulizer 1 am and then at 5-never went back to sleep–knew my breathing was really diminished. I had called the doctor and was told to go back up to 60 mg of prednisone and keep using the neb. I did work all day but God was so good to me. He literally  dropped in my lap 2 people who were great fits for 2 new searches that I had been asked to work with another associate out of Indianapolis. She is going to present them to the client on Monday and I am so glad for her! She seems to be a fine partner, thinks like I do–it’s not guaranteed that every time you get asked to do something by another team, that the relationship will be trustworthy or that you will even like one another! So I am grateful on many counts.

So let’s go back a week to Jeremiah 17:12 Notice the order here-praising and worshipping first, then requesting. 

A glorious throne, exalted from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary.   O Lord, the hope of  Israel, all who forsake you will be put to shame.  Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the Spring of Living Water.  Heal me,  O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, for you are the  one I praise.

Now everybody don’t get excited all at once! I have prayed for healing before now and I have been prayed for and over. I do believe that I am healed, that it may not manifest itself for awhile or while I am here on this earth.  My Lord and I have done a lot of talking about my body, what’s been wrong with it all  my life, what I am doing now, what I can expect in the future. I really don’t have all the answers except for this. I trust my Lord and Father God with everything that I have and I am. He uses the illnesses or attacks or crazy things I catch to put me in the right place, at the right time, to speak with a particular person-that apparently I needed to be the one to do the sharing and the reaping which is so much fun! I would rather talk about Jesus and all that He has done and is doing not just for me but for so many that I know about–than  just about anything else  I can think of!   I do have to be careful though, there are other things to speak of than Jesus and my work  I know-and I can’t be a good friend, good family member, good at anything else if I don’t pay close attention when needed and wanted.

I did want to say thank you to those 5 people who called me on Tues when I was so sick and the Lord told you to call and pray for me. I was sick and terribly afraid I was going to have to go back to the Hospital and stay again. But God honored your obedience in calling and praying and He answered by keeping me out of the hospital and I was able to work through it.

 This week He made some people who have needed jobs for over a year, or wanted a particular position with a particular company, or always worked toward a company with a future and a position of authority –these people were all happy tonight this week, and today yes it is 3 in the morning. I was so privileged to be a part of all of it. It is one of the reasons I do work hard.

so I  say  Thank you Jesus!                                      

Ten Commandments Award

I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed!  Anne, Mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com has given  me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off  too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!

Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them!  I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.

1. Describe yourself in seven words.  whew that’s hard! I am complex !  persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable

2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical  like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.

3.Whom would you like to be?    ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.

4. What are you wearing now?  a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers

5.What scares you?  spiders and snakes

6.What are the best and the worst  things about blogging?    the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out  my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers.     The worst  thing is I never have time to read all I want  to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others

7.What  was the last website you looked at?  LinkedIn

8. If you could change something about yourself, what  would it be?  After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me.  but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.

9.  Slankets??? I don’t  even know what they are to ask anything about them!

10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you.  Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus”  in a woman’s heart makes her attractive  till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at  http://mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com

Ten Bloggers!!

1  http://lynleahz.com

2 http://lightof the world.wordpress.com

3 http://wingsof the wind.com

4 http://foreverpoetic.com

5 posesshispromises.wordpress.com

6. hometogo232.wordpress.com

7  settledinheaven.org

8  of dustandkings.com

9  momentumofjoy.com

10 God’spromisesarereal.com

FINISH THE QUESTIONS THAT GO WITH THE AWARD AND THEN PAY IT FORWARD

I  am to answer the next 10 questions and then list nominate at least 5 min, 10 max bloggers that I appreciate or have been especially encouraging to me. So to those bloggers you will do the same.

1.  What is my favorite color? red, but then yellow would be a very close second

2.  What is my favorite animal? my Yorkshire terrier of course!

3. What is my favorite non – alchoholic drink? well that depends on the time of the day and do I need a pick-me-up. I must have gatorade and coke zero

4. Do I prefer Facebook or Twitter? I am 60, need you ask?

5. What is your favorite pattern? small houndstooth

6. Do I prefer giving or getting presents? I love to give-I can’t take anything with me after all.

7. What is my favorite number? 13 I

? each day is my favorite because I can be sharing Jesus with someone who opens his/her heart to Him 

9. What is my favorite flower? I blue iris, yellow roses, lily of the valley

10. What is my passion? That’s easy!  To know Jesus Christ in all of His Fullness and to share that with whomever the Father brings to me. of course writing about it all is pretty obessive too.

There are some writers that probably have been given so many awards so many times I am not sure that another will fit. but each of these ladies were with me in the begining. It was their encouragement that kept me writing regardless of how I felt: Marianne http://God’sPromisesAreReal.wordpress.com ; Joyce http://joycedevivre.wordpress.com; Debra http://TellGodThankyou.wordpress.com ; Jo http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com ; Dee http://lillies,sparrowsandgrass.wordpress.com ; Steven http://totheassemblywithlove.wordpress.com ; Rob http://settledinheaven.org

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

A New Truth–To Me Anyway Ist Peter 3, 4 & 5

Marble headstone of a couple buried together i...
Marble headstone of a couple buried together in Singapore, showing an arched emblem, signifying the reunification with one’s partner in heaven. Within the arch is a statue of Jesus Christ (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Gee, that’s a lot of ground to cover and I don’t have a lot of time tonight either! But I so wanted to share what God is showing me in hopes that if you have not thought of or learned this particular lesson-maybe just knowing about it would lead you to study a little and save you from a lot of heartache and unreal expectations.

I read and hear often about what I’ll call the “prosperity gospel”. God meant for us to prosper-isn’t that what it says in Jeremiah 29:11? yes, but have you ever wondered what His idea of prosperity might be in comparison with yours?  And have you ever wondered why some of the poorest people are some of the happiest, most satisfied people in the Lord? I have!

Even as recently as last year, the first 2-3 months of this year, I thought that I was just “in the desert for awhile”.  Yes, this desert has been going on a long while now, but I always thought I’d come out the other side-like the Israelites did when they reached the Promised Land. Except what did they have to do then? They had to go in and win the land and clear it out per Jehovah’s instructions. There was no rest for the weary! In fact, if you are a student of the Word and you know Israel’s history, when have they ever really “come out of the desert into prosperity and had no worries, no problems holding on to any of it?”  I think the answer to that is “NEVER”

So then we come to the story of Jesus Christ. How God’s Son became flesh and came into our world and walked this earth. When did He have it easy? From the moment of His birth-The King of the Universe/Creator of All Things-was born in a stable. Not very clean, not very comfortable and not long after His birth, His mother and Joseph her husband were fleeing for their lives with a new born across-yes?-a desert! And as Jesus grows in Nazareth as a child, does He have an cushy life of a King? No, his “father'” is a carpenter-very physical labor. I would imagine, a lot harder than that of today. Even later as Jesus began His ministry, did He own anything? get taken care of, carried everywhere? Of course not! Jesus was followed; He was hounded, tormented, criticized, everywhere He went. And yet, the Bible says everytime He looked at the multitudes, He had compassion and love for them and made every effort to heal everyone who needed healing and fix anything that could be and those that couldn’t even by raising  the dead.

Of course we all know where this story goes—right to the cross! There have recently been some magnificent posts written on Jesus’ actual suffering from the beatings to the actual crucfiction. That is not my purpose tonight. My purpose in my long, drawn out way is to offer the possibility that we are not to expect OUR version of Prosperity! I can’t find it anywhere in the Word. What I did find is that from the beginning Jesus’ people have experienced suffering. It says we shall suffer as He suffered. No prosperity there. (the world’s idea of it!) We are to follow in His footsteps.

So you are asking now so where is 1st Peter in all this? There is a place of suffering in the Christian life. You can’t get around it. There are lot’s of kinds of suffering of course. God knows exactly though what will refine you, mold you, make you holy and fit for that day when you are redeemed. You see that is the KEY. GOD KNOWS. You will never get your mind around it, understand it or explain it. You might as well give up and accept it! Let me tell you, I wish I had given up long ago! Thanks be to God that He Never Gives Up and is always there patiently waiting.

So now I know that trials and tribulations are a natural thing of the day. ..but hardship is a blessing in itself; it shows that we are Christ’s and belong to Him. Suffering is also a blessing because of the opportunity it gives to demontrate the strength of God’s grace in both words and by life! So many people have said to me that they are so sorry for all I have had to go through. I reply and I mean this from the bottom of my heart,  that I would do it again, rather than not have the lessons, the fellowship, the RELATIONSHIP that I now have with Jesus Christ, the Son of the Living God, Who Is and Was and Is To Come!

Jesus!!