CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

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Archive for the ‘GriefShare’ Category

Joyful Joyce and Amazing God

Posted by cindyhfrench on 03/24/2013

This past week has been such a roller coaster week of emotions, duties, responsibilities on so many levels. I have wanted to write every day, but no time. 

First, so thankful for the healing words of the Lord from my friend Calvin who assures me that the Lord has justified me and loves me and that I should follow His precepts which I have tried to do before and especially this week going forward. Sometimes, I realize I get a little zealous in my conversation from the every day to world events-last week was a biggie if you were watching Obama and Israel-to my own conversations and revelations from my Lord God and also from fellow bloggers. We don’t meet up ahead of time and all same we are going to blog on the same subject and have the same opinion but it happens over and over. And because we all are Christ followers led by the Spirit,  I believe the Lord is speaking through all of us to the world, so as I said last week, Take Heed!  All of us should be examining our lives to see if we can offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our Lord. And even as I say that, I am wondering if you know what I mean or what the Word means as it is written?  Of course everyone knows what living is, but the dictionary defines sacrifice as the offering of something precious to  deity; loss,deprivation.  Ok , so I am offering my Precious self to my Lord-He says I am precious to Him. and then secondly, the loss and deprivation part: well, that’s exactly what nobody wants to do anymore. We want what we want, when we want it, how we want it; no doing without it, or waiting on it. No having it and losing it.  All of this is one of His precepts for me, besides the trust factor! And guess what this is a hard one too! I am used to going and getting just what I want, when I want it. Now I am in a position where I can not do that in regards to physical possessions. But I have found that even in regards to those that I can have, I am really careful and selective now. I ask myself, what do I really need? Not just want? And I have found that as I am faithful to Him in the small things, He is so faithful to me in the BIG things. Just this week, one more time I was amazed at the overwhelming care of people for my needs that I truly had no expectation of except advice, not tangible help–but even the way that it was given, with such love and care and assurance, it alone brings you to your knees. Thank you Father!!

Second roller coaster was finding out that the gamma globulin that I get monthly for my immunity disorder does have a very rare side effect. Guess what it is? yep, you got it! Clots! And here, supposedly,  I have had  2 in the first year of taking it!  Of course, now the doctor can not raise my dosage either as he was going to do because I have continued to catch the bacterial infections, virus’, and  mold infections that come with this immunity. so what to do? After talking and prayer, we are going to ask to be taken off of the drug.  We will consult with both the MS neurologist and the immunologist who both have said this side effect is so rare ,  but then neither of them know me very well yet, do they? I was also supposed start testing in April for food and drug allergies because for months now I have been waking up with severe itching and hives. It started off that I could just take a couple of Benadryl tablets and go back to sleep but now I usually awaken 2 or 3 hours later and have to take more. Not good. Last night, I tried an experiment. I didn’t take anything except my Coumadin. “that’s the blood thinner I ‘ve been on since last July when I had that embolism–and yes I’ve been itching at least that long.” And sure enough, here it came, very strongly last night. so here is another one to talk to the doc about. Finding out I have sticky blood wasn’t the greatest thing either, but it certainly explained a lot of things-the multiple miscarriages and the tendancy to  make clots. Lots of up and down emotional moments in the decisions, in the new knowledge, in the gratefulness for the new knowledge.

And then there was Joyful Joyce!  Joyce Zahner was the 85 year old mom of my half/way adopted sister Julie. Julie is the same age as the sister who lives in Orlando and has done so much for me and with me. She and Julie were inseparable from the moment they met and their friendship has stood the test of time. And to me, Julie was a little sister and then a friend and babysitter for my two children when they were little before I married my husband. So the Zahners have been in my life, one way or another since I was 16. In the years past when we were visiting in Atlanta, we were often invited out to Julie’s house where she lives with her 2 children and great husband and very often Joyce would be there too. Over the years, Joyce began the same decline that my mother did. She had dementia. It was hard for her as she had been a very smart professional woman. But Joyce never dwelt on circumstances, she drew from within that joy that only comes from the Lord and had peace as she drifted more and more into another realm. She always had a smile on her face. She always was telling you she loved you and you knew that she meant it. And then on her 85th birthday, not long ago, God did a wonderful thing-a little extra birthday present-He gave her a day of clarity. How wonderful that was! And most of it captured on video to be visited and revisited time and time again. At the end of it all, Joyce let her family know that she knew she was going home to her Savior soon.She was tired and so she was ready. She was very careful to give her last instructions about her grandchildren to her daughter whom she loved so much-holding her face between her hands, looking her in the eye and speaking! How very, very precious is that? How amazing is our God to know that we still need our moms to tell us stuff, important stuff? And we all know that after months and years of decline with less and less moments of clarity–to be given a DAY!!  Our God is such a Loving FATHER and He Knows Just What We Need.

On Saturday, March 16th at 11:45 am, Joyful Joyce went home. This past Thursday and Friday there were joyous celebrations of her life at two churches that we attended. I am very sure that Joyce was watching and laughing and smiling as we all talked of our memories of Joyce. And I am sure too that she would have loved the message of hope and salvation given by the pastors and by the family and friends through the scriptures read and the testimonies given that faith and hope and love were so important to Joyce. Of course, Joyce was warmly welcomed by so many friends in heaven, my parents among them. I am sure they are all up there telling there stories about all of us. 

The glory in all of this to me is that God was so kind to me to let me experience growing up in a family that taught me faith-whether I embraced it or not immediately-I KNEW what was true. He has surrounded me throughout my life with family and friends who love me and whom I love dearly. And now he has placed me back home to be in the middle of them. I say perfect timing, Lord! Thank you!

Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know that plans I have for you , declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.

Posted in adoption, Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, grandchildren, GriefShare, How to Be Happy, Jesus Christ, Joy, life changing words, miscarriage, Religion, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

Posted by cindyhfrench on 09/03/2012

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, kidnapped, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, LOVE AND KISSES, mass murder, mass shootings, menningitis, miraculous healing, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, obedience, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), rhuematoid arthritis, righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Trust, Uncategorized, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

CONNECTIONS!!

Posted by cindyhfrench on 08/26/2012

I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!”  So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about!  Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the  very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a  man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the  midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me  about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is!  She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that,  probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with  in my life.

Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise,  starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because  now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off!  Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and  of course it makes you want to do it again, and again.  It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.

And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn.  Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her.  So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said  STOP!, just STOP!  of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time?  I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch.  I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking in my shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together.  What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that  will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.

So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.

Posted in ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, ear infections and T tubes, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, hiatal hernia spasm, Jesus Christ, menningitis, miraculous healing, pulmonary embolism, relationships, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Asthma Again! But He Answers So Many Prayers Today!

Posted by cindyhfrench on 08/08/2012

Guess what happens when you get just a little big for your pants? at least that’s what my Daddy used to say to me, when I was getting a little smart mouth on me. I went back and read what I wrote last night all of which I certainly meant. But I must have been getting a little too smart mouthed for the Lord, because at 3 am I woke up coughing and wheezing like never before. I don’t wheeze. Everybody knows that. But Today August the 7th, 2012 I wheezed for hours! We tried everything but when nothing worked, we just went to the ER.  I didn’t want to get so sick that I would have to stay again. I just wanted my meds and to go home. Of course I got the doc who doesn’t understand about cough variant asthma again. He was so happy I was wheezing-that he could understand and diagnose! So I got my meds (IV Solumedrol-miracle drug) and also a breathing treatment of their special stuff I don’t have at home and after they had stuck  me a half a dozen times we were able to leave!

I am absolutely dependent upon my God for my very breath and that very breath that allows me to talk and do my work. I acknowledge that in all my words and deeds. I can do nothing without Him, but what I can do WITH  Him is amazing and wonderful to me to be used as I am. Truly tonight I am doubly blessed by what my sharing of His  Word and His Ministry did for others, because they shared it back with me. How wonderful is that!!!

The first story is from one of my candidates, an attorney  who is a believer and because of our shared faith, it has been easy to become friends. When we were first talking about the particular position, she had already had a first interview and really liked the person, already liked everything she had read and heard about the firm; but she asked me-Cindy ..”How will I know that this is the right opportunity for me?”  I told that’s easy. You turn to Isaiah 30:21 and read where  it says that God will whisper in your ear the way in which you are to go. She liked that apparently, looked it up and claimed that promise for herself.  Today she reminded me and said...”Remember when you told me???” 

Yes, I remember. Turns out she’s had this horrendous case for 4 years. Everyone including the senior partners of her firm wanted her to settle -for a $1million-but something in her just said this isn’t right. So she prayed about it and the job possibility as well and then laid down to go to sleep.  Then clear as a bell, a voice said, Don’t settle, you’ll win the case. She said,“Cindy I knew that was God’s voice telling me what to do just like you and the scripture said He would. But if you hadn’t told me that I would have thought it was my imagination and I might have settled. In the meantime, because we are preparing for court, all of the right, needed pieces are dropping in from heaven and we are going to win our case.” Of course I am very happy that she is going to win that case, but I was happier and so blessed by the fact that she would take what the Lord had said through me and do it and of course the Lord  would act-He does not lie- but my thrill was that she brought it back to me to tell me. Oh that was incredible how blessed I felt!

The second story started a couple of weeks ago. I might have mentioned in a posting that I had met someone from London who had introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC.  This young woman and I are going to be fast friends if we ever get the chance to have a full conversation. Our first one was 15 min-but we did get a lot crammed in there. For starters the most important thing-the way that I could help her right now.  You see, she lost her dad just about 5 weeks ago now. At 3 weeks she was just like I was when I lost my dad-a mess. Even thought you know absolutely where your father is and you wouldn’t want to make him come back for any reason, you still miss him so much. Here it is 3 years later and I still miss him the same. But at least I don’t hurt like I did when I was first grieving-I couldn’t really think straight even. I was such a mess that my dear BSF (Bible Study Fellowship)  friends said you have to go to GriefShare. What is GriefShare? I had never heard of it, but dutifully I went online and found a group that met at a place and time convenient for me and I went.  Of course I went to be comforted.  I needed comfort.  What I found was hurting people who in many instances had no hope at all.  I went to all the meetings and thought why don’t we (our church) have a GriefShare Ministry? I should learn not to think thoughts like that! Because of course I wound up as a GriefShare leader for 2 1/2 years until God took me away from it because of my immunity issue.

So back to my friend. We talked about her grief and she really was barely hanging on. Oh, how I understood!  So of course I told her about GriefShare and what it had meant to me. I asked her if she were near a computer and she was. I told her to type in GriefShare.org and then her zip code and it would bring up any and all meetings close to where she lived or worked depending on what she needed to be close to. She was so surprised to find a good many. I urged her to call and make arrangement to attend. check in.  And here is my blessing: I called her tonight just to check in with her,  had to leave a message, she called me backShe was at her first GriefShare meeting and was calling me back during their break! She sounded quite happy and said she’d call me tomorrow and then she thanked me again for telling her about GriefShare.

I would love to take credit for being so good at listening and anticipating needs, but I ‘m not. Any Good Thing In Me Is God and He is the one who knows all things, knows all needs. I was once again simply the conduit that He used to do His work.  I am so privileged to be that person.

I do thank each one of you who prays for me. I can’t begin to tell you what that means to me.  Your comments, encouragement, and examples sometimes have kept me going when I just wanted to stop for a while-when I just need a little break. I am going to ask you to pray for something specific for me and my sisters this time. Women of Faith has their annual conference in Orlando in October 12-13. My Orlando sister and I have always gone to the conferences for years! We love them. This year, we’ve invited our other sisters. The youngest one has a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old and of course that means leaving them with Dad.  On a Thurs and Fri night no less.For her to come she needs his cooperation and really his desire for her to come be with us. My Philly sister I am asking tomorrow. I ask that she would want to come to this conference and that it and we would be important to her to come as she is important to us to ask to come. I know my God is big enough to handle these requests, but there’s power in numbers and I happen to know I need the power for these requests to be answered positively.

So please all of you pray I believe it could be life changing for all of us. Thank you and I love you all with the love of the Lord God.

Posted in asthma, C difficele, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, getting validated, GriefShare, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, life stories, Life's Answers, obedience, Praise Psalms!, Prayer, relationships, sharing loss of loved ones, Spirituality, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Todays’ News-Aurora Colorado Mass Shooting

Posted by cindyhfrench on 07/20/2012

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon.  Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right to bear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded.  Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, high school reunions, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, leukemia, mass murder, menningitis | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Ten Commandments Award

Posted by cindyhfrench on 07/05/2012

I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed!  Anne, Mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com has given  me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off  too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!

Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them!  I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.

1. Describe yourself in seven words.  whew that’s hard! I am complex !  persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable

2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical  like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.

3.Whom would you like to be?    ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.

4. What are you wearing now?  a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers

5.What scares you?  spiders and snakes

6.What are the best and the worst  things about blogging?    the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out  my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers.     The worst  thing is I never have time to read all I want  to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others

7.What  was the last website you looked at?  LinkedIn

8. If you could change something about yourself, what  would it be?  After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me.  but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.

9.  Slankets??? I don’t  even know what they are to ask anything about them!

10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you.  Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus”  in a woman’s heart makes her attractive  till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at  http://mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com

Ten Bloggers!!

1  http://lynleahz.com

2 http://lightof the world.wordpress.com

3 http://wingsof the wind.com

4 http://foreverpoetic.com

5 posesshispromises.wordpress.com

6. hometogo232.wordpress.com

7  settledinheaven.org

8  of dustandkings.com

9  momentumofjoy.com

10 God’spromisesarereal.com

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Psalm 111—-Holy and Awesome Is His Name

Posted by cindyhfrench on 06/21/2012

My time is so short tonight, but my heart is so full.

The past 2 days God has really been speaking to me, guiding, and confirming that guidance. I wish I had all the time in the world to relate to everyone all the details- except to say, I am going to take everyone at their word, that what I have written should be shared with hurting people everywhere. I don’t know whether He is going to do that sharing exclusively through books or speaking, but I have said “I will do whatever You want me to do.” I wasn’t  “there” until today. I still have no details, no understanding of how God intends for any of this to happen. But I know that He needed me to first be available to Him and His leading.

I may ask many times in the future what you think of this vs that? Because y’all are the first people who believed in me and encouraged me to write. I may try out chapter titles on you, I may even have you trying out book titles..  From talking with others I have found that this is a long drawn out process. So don’t expect me to come up with something overnight unless the Lord does it. His Ways are not my Ways, His Thoughts are not my Thoughts and His Time is not my Time.

I may not talk about it all the time, but it’s going on in the back room. I am writing these days instead of reading for pleasure. But I believe that God will honor what He is calling me to do and make it successful somehow. In the meantime, here is a little more praise from me to the Father. I think, by the way, that amazing and incredible should be reserved to be used ONLY when talking about Him and everything He does.

more of  Psalm 111Praise the Lord.

I will extol the Lord with all my heart

in the council of the upright and in the assembly. 

Great are the works of the Lord;

they are pondered by all who delight in them.

Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and His Righteousness endures forever. (remember who the Righteousness is?)

He has caused His wonders to be remembered;

the Lord is gracious and compassionate.

He provides food for those who fear him;

He remembers his covenant forever.

He has shown His people the power of his works, giving them the lands of other nations.

The works of his hands are faithful and just;

all his precepts are trustworthy.

They are steadfast forever and ever.

done in faithfulness and uprightness.

He provided redemption for his people;

he ordained his covenant forever– holy and awesome are his name.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom;

all who follow his precepts have good understanding

To Him belongs eternal praise! Hallelujah!

Posted in Bible study, Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, getting validated, GriefShare, holiness, life stories, relationships, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A Tribute to My Dad re-written almost 4 years later

Posted by cindyhfrench on 06/17/2012

I am Cynthia, soon nicknamed Cindy, the first born of the Hungerford clan.  I was the first girl in several generations in the family and so a big surprise for everyone.   My dad cared for me in those first months of my life as he was finishing his PHD and my mom was working as a designer in Knoxville.  I’ve carefully read my baby book and believe that for the first time in his life my Dad experienced unconditional love with me. He wouldn’t have characterized it as such, because he didn’t know what it was nor had he experienced it aside from my mother’s love. But as I grew up and until he went to be with Jesus, Daddy and I had an understanding and a special relationship. 

I believed everything he said and tried — until my teens anyway — to do everything he wanted me to. In first grade, I told my teacher that my dad said the moon was made of green cheese. She said absolutely not! But I argued with her and got sent to the principal’s office. I explained that my dad said it—so it was true! Poor Daddy, he had to go down to the principal’s office and explain and apologize!

When Dad died, I had all these flashbacks of him and me. At six, my first Christmas I remember the handmade doll furniture for my doll. My first bike and teaching me to ride without training wheels. A Halloween parade where he made me the most a awesome tail that curled and pitchfork for my devil costume—this was before we knew any better!

When I broke my arm playing Tarzan and Jane and he ran all the red lights to get me to the hospital. The weekend trips around Texas, to San Jacinto Memorial, to New Braunsfels where I rode my first horse.

Of course in my teens things changed a lot! I wanted to be a part of the crowd. Dad didn’t want me out there at all. I seemed to get grounded all the time. When I was 15, I was grounded and had to ask him to please let me go with my boyfriend to his prom-he relented and let me go. But I had to be home by 1am and couldn’t go to the beach with everybody or have breakfast with them. I didn’t understand why? When I was 16 and had my birthday party at home and the kids started dancing—he shut it down. I was mad at him for a long time. I didn’t care that our church preached against dancing and he was a deacon—and needed to adhere to the church’s doctrines. But that was Dad-at that point in his life he was still about works and earning his salvation.

Life with my dad was not easy as a teen, but after I married my Dennis at 29, I seemed to finally grow up and when we moved toTampa in 1984, I purposed to have a closer relationship with both my parents. This led to much visiting and really getting to know my father as a person. For this, I really have to thank my husband. Because it was to him that my dad opened up. Dennis is a little older than I and studied and read quite a bit about World War II. I guess he encouraged my dad to talk, because talk he did! I would be around for some of it, but I would use that time to take my mom out to shop, do her hair, nails, etc. So Dennis would fill me in when I questioned him about the rest of the stories!   For the first time, I heard about his early life and his war years. I finally understood why he was the way he was—military straight, absolutes because of his nuclear physics education and lack of love in his home growing up. When he stood at my mom’s funeral and said  that she was the first person to love him unconditionally-he was being truthful.  I am glad that I had come to love him unconditionally long ago.  First in obedience to God‘s word, but then simply because I loved my dad and could never stay mad at him long!

After mom’s funeral, he came to stay with Dennis and me for three weeks.It was a precious time I am so thankful for now. We talked about his salvation experience and his great regrets in his life. How very much he loved his children, but couldn’t express it. How proud he was of everyone for their teaching their own children about Jesus. That we, his children were believers. That was his greatest legacy.                                          I was sent a card by one of my staff at work.  It said  “Remember that your father left the world a legacy in the good and caring person that you have grown to be. And in this time of sadness may it help comfort you to know that he is still a part of all you are and do.

I had thought to write a Father’s Day tribute, but this one which I tweaked a little from the eulogy for him is the best one I could have ever written for him. The Bible has a lot to say about Fathers. They are to honored.  We are to heed their instruction. In fact it says several times to honor and to heed. At least in the last years of his life, my dad knew I loved him-even on the day that he thought that he would lose my love if he told me his story. All I cared about was that he had a story!

The day that we cleaned out his apartment and we were on our way home coming across I-4. I was crying and praying. I asked the Lord for a sign that Mom and Dad were up there with Him and singing and dancing… I knew (or thought I knew, I was wrong) that God didn’t give signs but please God give me a sign. I need a sign so much. And just a minute or two later, here comes a little red plane buzzing by our car and then up in the sky he goes and begins to draw…a … smiley face…and then he is writing…Jesus…loves…you! well, there was my sign. How else could an airplane draw up by our car, then do draw a smiley face and write Jesus love you-right after I have asked for the sign? to read a sign in the sky, you have to be in just the right place as we were. I called all my sibs and told them. I think they were just as happy to hear this as I was to see it!

There have been a lot of changes in the family since Daddy died. My youngest sister has had 2 little boys a year apart. My oldest granddaughter has accepted the Lord Jesus into her heart.And she has a new sister who is now 3. A couple of my brothers kids have graduated high school and started college and he and wife Lesley had one more little girl  and my sister’s kids-Anna graduated college this year and Beau started this year and made DEAN’s list. Dad would have been proud.  He would have been thrilled with all the babies! He might have had a hard time interacting with children especially as he got older and couldn’t hear, but there was no one that loved having his family around more than he did.

I am better with my grieving now of course than I was even a year ago. But I still cry and I still miss him-and my momma too of course. I had no idea that they were so much my foundation–but in losing them, I found my God who said He would now be my father. He would be my Rock and my Foundation. He would provide for me, protect me, care for me, teach me all things-including trusting him implictly. Hard lesson to learn but wonderful peace to have. Not that He was not there before, but now it is only Him. I love you, Daddy.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Bible study, christian, Christianity, eulogy for dad, Father's Day, GriefShare, life stories, relationships, Religion, Spirituality, Suffering loss | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 13 Comments »

A NEW AWARD “THE MRS. SPARKLY’S TEN COMMANDMENTS AWARD”

Posted by cindyhfrench on 06/08/2012

Well, you could really knock me over with a feather tonight when I saw this  new award. I really, really appreciate and treasure each award. For me it is telling that I am on the right track saying and doing exactly what my Father wants me to do. This week has been full of those validations. I didn’t realize that I needed them so much! But my Father knew–and made sure that I got just what I needed-just as He always does.

Last night I spoke with one of my candidates. His father had passed from this life to eternity on Saturday. I spoke with him very briefly Sunday and he had mentioned that he had thought of me when he was with his father in his last half hour of life. I didn’t quite know what to make of that. But then when we spoke yesterday he explained. You see, often when you are speaking of someone’s hopes and dreams, you speak of faith as well if it is important to the person and to him it was important.  So we had exchanged a few stories over the last 2-3 months we’ve been talking-one of them was about my dad who has also passed on. It seems our dads were alike.  We commiserated with each other a bit, but I also had told him about how I had found out 1 week before he died exactly what my dad’s story was. I asked because I was afraid that he had not story at all. Instead he had quite a story-a brilliant mind (he was a nuclear physicist) regardless of what the Bible said, he still thought he needed to earn his way into heaven –he tried for over 60 years! When I finally got him to tell me about it. He said, “I’ll tell you, but you won’t love me anymore”. You see my Dad still didn’t understand unconditional love or grace. Even after he “gave it all up” as he called it and knew that at that moment the Holy Spirit truly came into his heart-He still had a very difficult time believing that anyone would love him unless he behaved a certain way, or acted a certain-even me.  I, of course, simply put my arms around him and told him how much I loved him –that I had always loved him even when I was mad at him. I didn’t stop loving him. He still asked me if I was sure that I still loved him-because his life had been a lie and he had been a hypocrite. I just looked at him through my tears and said, “that’s why Jesus came, Daddy.”  A little over a week later, he was gone, gone to be with my mom and Jesus in heaven.

So somehow in sharing my story and maybe other stories –I never know later what we’ve talked about-just that we’ve connected. I know my candidate a little better, they know me a little better. So whatever I had shared apparently helped this young man make absolutely sure that his dad was going to make it to heaven as well.  I am in awe of a great and mighty God that puts people together to help one another-sometimes when you don’t even know you are helping–but God knows-because He knows the future and everything that is going to touch me in any way, shape or form and it’s got to be filtered through His fingers. I am comforted by that knowledge.

So now we are going to talk about the Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments Award

The “Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments Award” has to do with a woman of the same name, known for being very elegant and having high expectations, and who is committed to maintaining integrity, good manners and behavior, as well as a rich sense of humor. I have been told  that I am elegant. I have been told that I have too high expectations of me and others. I have been told that I have integrity, good manners, and good behavior (thank you, Mama) But I don’t know about the rich sense of humor. I often don’t get the jokes. I do take things too seriously even when people are trying to ‘lighten up’. But I am trying to be better and ‘lighter about everything’. So again, I am grateful for the award and will try to live up to its name and keep its commandments.

 

RULES:
The rules for this award are that you must answer the following ten questions and nominate five-ten blogs that you think deserve the award.

 

 

1. Describe yourself in seven words.

 

Christ follower, Bible Student, Wife, Mother, and Mimi (grandmother0 

 

2. What keeps you up at night?

sometimes it’s God telling me to pray for something specifically, sometimes it’s reading too many blogs, sometimes, its writing too late., sometimes it’s my asthma.

 

 

3. Whom would you like to be?

 

Me. I am finally satisfied and at peace with who I am, and what my “perfect” body  is to God

 

4. What are you wearing now?

 

Jeans and a knit top my daughter gave me

 

5. What scares you?

 

is not standing up for my God and Savior enough or if it meant my life-could I do it-like others are having to do in the world today.  I used to be scared of dying of an asthma attack but the Lord cured me of that!

 

6. What are the best and worst things about blogging?

 

the best- is reading what God puts into the minds and hearts of others that so reasonates with me, that you form true bonds, friendship, love and caring for these people you haven’t physically met, but that doesn’t matter because you KNOW them. the worst thing is not having enough time to read all the blogs I want to read. I could read 24/7 for a week I think and still only mabe make a dent.

 

7. What was the last website you looked at?

 

One of my client’s websites

 

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

 

I would not talk so much

 

 

9. Slankets, yes or no

 

No….if  Diane said no, then I’ll say no.

 

10. She is absolutely so loving and giving. She is always concerned about the other person-not herself. I am not surprised that she is constantly be awarded  because she is such a dear, sweet, giving person. She listens, if she can help fix something she does-she’s the best editor I’ve ever had. I love her. She’s Diane and would you all join with me in tell her to put up the website called writerwannabe…because she already is, right???

 

 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, christian, Christianity, eulogy for dad, getting validated, GriefShare, holiness, life stories, Life's Answers, Prayer, relationships, Religion, sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 12 Comments »

Our God Is Faithful! Psalm 145:13-18

Posted by cindyhfrench on 06/05/2012

 

a picture of the lake of Ohrid by Sunrise

a picture of the lake of Ohrid by Sunrise (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord upholds all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down…You open your hand satisfy the desires of every living things. The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

There are so many verses that are in God‘s Word about His Faithfulness. But let me tell you how He demonstrates them to me.

I have said before that I write just like I talk. Did you ever think what that might really mean? Because when I am writing, I am talking  about my Lord; usually about some new lesson I have learned, or something I have discovered new and fresh in His Word that I have read a thousand times, but only understood just today. So if I talk like I write, I am talking about Jesus, I am talking to Him and with Him all day long. I need His advice every step of my way and I have only to ask and it is given. When I am speaking with someone for someone, I just try and get to know them a little the first time we speak. I never have an agenda, other than basic contact information, maybe business numbers, something about their life, family, and if they could describe the perfect job, what would it be? Now granted God and faith can come up at any time in that conversation-often does. But again, I am just gathering information my first go round. Sometimes God has a different agenda than I do-and it is His voice after all, so He gets to speak if He wants to. But it is done so carefully and casually that again, anyone I have spoken with is so happy to talk and ready to talk about this particular subject!

So today, I had a referral call and we chatted a bit and then the floodgates opened  and I shared a little about why I work at a home office, the work and connections that I have. And then we began to talk about all the commonality that we had together, so many very personal, deeply wounding experiences-but I shared the great solution to all too. I promised to send her resume to an attorney friend of mine to see if they had any needs for a paralegal and that I would be in touch.

As soon as we were off the phone, it rang again. It was another lady that had been referred to me last week. She wasn’t someone I could place, but I could tell her how to get a new job. She was very depressed-had been looking for at least a couple of weeks and discouragement had set in. So I told her that she needed to make a list of all her blessings. Then she needed to make a list of all of her good qualities. And third she needed to make a list of companies 5-6 of them that were just like the one she had been laid off from and were in the same state of disorder, disrepair, horrendous receivables. Nothing was going right with that company when she got it-and then proceeded to turn it completely around to now the company is managing leasing for other companies. She was then to take that list and call each CEO and introduce herself as the woman who had turned around ABC company–but that when she had it up and running on its own, the owner let her go and put his son in her place. SO that made today the luckiest for XYZ Company, because she was sure that she could do the same thing for them. When would they like to meet her??????

She said I am calling you to tell you that everything you told me to do worked. And not only that but I have a great new job as of today as Director of Real Estate. Then she said, what was amazing to me was how God and Jesus were just a part of your conversation. I thought it was fantastic-but I had never had a business conversation  like that before. And now I want all of my conversations to be just like that. If you can do that I can do that. What do you do special to make that happen?

After I got off the phone with her, I had an email from the first one I had spoken with. She was thanking me for the time but mostly for our CONVERSATION. How do you do that? she asked. I have never had a business conversation about God or Jesus Christ or how any of that fits into the business life and always wanted that part to be different. Of course I told her the same thing.

So twice in one day I am explaining that I don’t do anything except tell the Lord in my early quiet time that this voice is His. This person is His-to do with whatever he sees fit. That if He will bring me prepared people to speak with I will open my mouth. And that’s about it. Except for praying as I am talking of course.! As I read the email to my husband and then told him of the phone call, I cried in amazement-more validation, more confirmation that I am doing exactly what God wants me to be doing. And I don’t take that lightly. Too many of my candidates really don’t know what the right thing to do is! What would I do without Jesus? I don’t ever, ever want to find out.

So after Supper tonight when I am still making a few calls and about to call it a night, I hope my email again and what do I get but a Liebster award  and because I show and speak the Lord!! Three time today He has shown me-Speak my word. I asked Him just last Friday if I should sign up with the speakers bureau here in FL. I guess I got quite an answer.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, Bible study, christian, Christianity, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, Life's Answers, miscarriage, relationships, Religion, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

 
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