CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the ‘Fruits of the Spirit’ Category

AWARDS, UPDATES, & OPINIONS

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/13/2013

Inner Peace AwardI must say thank you to all of you who read me faithfully or “unfaithfully” whatever that means. I know that up until now things have been perhaps a little strange and different from what you have come to expect from me. I am speaking of this year 2013. You who have stuck with me through a change to a hosted site and back again, and then my move from one state to another; and finally my locking myself out of my own blog.  I thought everything was fixed, but I didn’t hear from everybody and even though the email was changed, I wasn’t getting your posts either. that spinal meningitis and then that stroke truly did a number on my thinking through things sometimes. So my dear friend Diane and I talked about the issues and she checked up after me and found what was wrong with my dashboard. Somehow and I assure you all that this is the truth, all of the blogs I follow and I follow a lot of people were switched to off instead of on! So no wonder I haven’t heard from you and YOU haven’t heard from me! I promise I didn’t desert my friends. I hope you haven’t gone off from me. We did fix it.

I also have been going back and saying hi to new followers. One such person, has even been in my archives! It was she that gifted me with my Newest award. One I have not seen before. It’s beautiful isn’t it? I didn’t have to do anything either. I liked that part even better. But I am sure that I will be gifting it around as well. The fact that it came the beginning of this week is so interesting, because I would tell you that I haven’t felt like I was exhibiting Inner Peace. I have had a very emotional week of highs and lows like a roller coaster. I can just hear my Lord saying , “Cindy, Cindy when will you learn to quit operating on your emotions?”  Some weeks I seem to have it so together and others, not so  much.

Tonight I was on Facebook because I had lots of alerts on my phone and because I knew that there would be a lot of comments about the BIG Trial. The only thing I am going to say here is that unfortunately for Mr. Zimmerman, MR. O  made it political and racial. I don’t think it was either. I think it was plainly a man on the ground with another larger man on top of him banging his head into the concrete after he had already broken his nose. As far as I am concerned it could have been two white men, two black men, two pink and and purple men-it only mattered that one was larger than the other and he was on top and he had already broken the smaller man’s nose. Why is that so hard to understand? What if it were two women? I would say the same thing. One cannot be beating up on another especially banging one’s head into the concrete!

Ok, that is all I am going to say on the subject, tonight, anyway.  I know this was short, but just wanted you to know what had been happening technically.

g’night

Cindy 

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Posted in Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, Jesus Christ, Joy, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

Joyful Joyce and Amazing God

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/24/2013

This past week has been such a roller coaster week of emotions, duties, responsibilities on so many levels. I have wanted to write every day, but no time. 

First, so thankful for the healing words of the Lord from my friend Calvin who assures me that the Lord has justified me and loves me and that I should follow His precepts which I have tried to do before and especially this week going forward. Sometimes, I realize I get a little zealous in my conversation from the every day to world events-last week was a biggie if you were watching Obama and Israel-to my own conversations and revelations from my Lord God and also from fellow bloggers. We don’t meet up ahead of time and all same we are going to blog on the same subject and have the same opinion but it happens over and over. And because we all are Christ followers led by the Spirit,  I believe the Lord is speaking through all of us to the world, so as I said last week, Take Heed!  All of us should be examining our lives to see if we can offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our Lord. And even as I say that, I am wondering if you know what I mean or what the Word means as it is written?  Of course everyone knows what living is, but the dictionary defines sacrifice as the offering of something precious to  deity; loss,deprivation.  Ok , so I am offering my Precious self to my Lord-He says I am precious to Him. and then secondly, the loss and deprivation part: well, that’s exactly what nobody wants to do anymore. We want what we want, when we want it, how we want it; no doing without it, or waiting on it. No having it and losing it.  All of this is one of His precepts for me, besides the trust factor! And guess what this is a hard one too! I am used to going and getting just what I want, when I want it. Now I am in a position where I can not do that in regards to physical possessions. But I have found that even in regards to those that I can have, I am really careful and selective now. I ask myself, what do I really need? Not just want? And I have found that as I am faithful to Him in the small things, He is so faithful to me in the BIG things. Just this week, one more time I was amazed at the overwhelming care of people for my needs that I truly had no expectation of except advice, not tangible help–but even the way that it was given, with such love and care and assurance, it alone brings you to your knees. Thank you Father!!

Second roller coaster was finding out that the gamma globulin that I get monthly for my immunity disorder does have a very rare side effect. Guess what it is? yep, you got it! Clots! And here, supposedly,  I have had  2 in the first year of taking it!  Of course, now the doctor can not raise my dosage either as he was going to do because I have continued to catch the bacterial infections, virus’, and  mold infections that come with this immunity. so what to do? After talking and prayer, we are going to ask to be taken off of the drug.  We will consult with both the MS neurologist and the immunologist who both have said this side effect is so rare ,  but then neither of them know me very well yet, do they? I was also supposed start testing in April for food and drug allergies because for months now I have been waking up with severe itching and hives. It started off that I could just take a couple of Benadryl tablets and go back to sleep but now I usually awaken 2 or 3 hours later and have to take more. Not good. Last night, I tried an experiment. I didn’t take anything except my Coumadin. “that’s the blood thinner I ‘ve been on since last July when I had that embolism–and yes I’ve been itching at least that long.” And sure enough, here it came, very strongly last night. so here is another one to talk to the doc about. Finding out I have sticky blood wasn’t the greatest thing either, but it certainly explained a lot of things-the multiple miscarriages and the tendancy to  make clots. Lots of up and down emotional moments in the decisions, in the new knowledge, in the gratefulness for the new knowledge.

And then there was Joyful Joyce!  Joyce Zahner was the 85 year old mom of my half/way adopted sister Julie. Julie is the same age as the sister who lives in Orlando and has done so much for me and with me. She and Julie were inseparable from the moment they met and their friendship has stood the test of time. And to me, Julie was a little sister and then a friend and babysitter for my two children when they were little before I married my husband. So the Zahners have been in my life, one way or another since I was 16. In the years past when we were visiting in Atlanta, we were often invited out to Julie’s house where she lives with her 2 children and great husband and very often Joyce would be there too. Over the years, Joyce began the same decline that my mother did. She had dementia. It was hard for her as she had been a very smart professional woman. But Joyce never dwelt on circumstances, she drew from within that joy that only comes from the Lord and had peace as she drifted more and more into another realm. She always had a smile on her face. She always was telling you she loved you and you knew that she meant it. And then on her 85th birthday, not long ago, God did a wonderful thing-a little extra birthday present-He gave her a day of clarity. How wonderful that was! And most of it captured on video to be visited and revisited time and time again. At the end of it all, Joyce let her family know that she knew she was going home to her Savior soon.She was tired and so she was ready. She was very careful to give her last instructions about her grandchildren to her daughter whom she loved so much-holding her face between her hands, looking her in the eye and speaking! How very, very precious is that? How amazing is our God to know that we still need our moms to tell us stuff, important stuff? And we all know that after months and years of decline with less and less moments of clarity–to be given a DAY!!  Our God is such a Loving FATHER and He Knows Just What We Need.

On Saturday, March 16th at 11:45 am, Joyful Joyce went home. This past Thursday and Friday there were joyous celebrations of her life at two churches that we attended. I am very sure that Joyce was watching and laughing and smiling as we all talked of our memories of Joyce. And I am sure too that she would have loved the message of hope and salvation given by the pastors and by the family and friends through the scriptures read and the testimonies given that faith and hope and love were so important to Joyce. Of course, Joyce was warmly welcomed by so many friends in heaven, my parents among them. I am sure they are all up there telling there stories about all of us. 

The glory in all of this to me is that God was so kind to me to let me experience growing up in a family that taught me faith-whether I embraced it or not immediately-I KNEW what was true. He has surrounded me throughout my life with family and friends who love me and whom I love dearly. And now he has placed me back home to be in the middle of them. I say perfect timing, Lord! Thank you!

Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know that plans I have for you , declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.

Posted in adoption, Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, grandchildren, GriefShare, How to Be Happy, Jesus Christ, Joy, life changing words, miscarriage, Religion, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

A CHALLENGE FOR EVERYONE

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/10/2013

You always know that the Lord is telling you something important and specific when all of your devotional and Bible study material come together! As you all know we are in a new place. Relearning our way around, renewing friendships, finding a new church home, and for me figuring out how I might fit in this Atlanta market have made this a challenging first month (and a few days).  I’ve been asking for particular guidance and finally I think I have some answers -which are not new principles by any stretch- or any new revelation-but simply the Lord saying what He has said for generations to anyone like me who has asked the same questions- “Follow my Precepts”. Ok,  then let’s look at what His Precepts might be.  The dictionary says that a precept is a command or a principle intended as a general rule of action or conduct. So Biblically,  God wants me to follow His commands for my conduct and my actions. How do I find out what those commands might be so that I can follow them? The only Book that God wrote is His Holy Bible and it was written to instruct us and to guide us as so many denominational statements about the Bible and their belief in the Bible were stated for the world to know what they believed. Now, let me stop right here as say I am not going to attack any denomination for what they have or have not done. This is NOT about any of THAT.

As I read the scriptures that have the word precept in them, they pull me in a whole different direction. Let me show you. I can’t write out as much scripture as I would like to but I hope you will bear with me as God is leading me as I write this and I will put in what He wants. The first scripture to mention the word precept in Psalm 19:8, but this is one of those times that if you only read the one verse, you will not get the whole meaning of the passage.

Psalm 19:7-14 The law of the Lord is perfect, reviving the soul. The statutes of the Lord are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The .precepts of the Lord are right, giving joy to the heart.  The commands of the Lord are radiant, giving light to the eyes.  The fear of the Lord is pure, enduring forever. The ordinances of the Lord are sure and altogether  righteous. They are more precious than gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from a comb. By them is your servant warned; in keeping them there is great reward.  Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then will I be blameless, innocent of great transgressions. May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O Lord, my Rock, and my Redeemer

Now can you see why it was important to have the verses around verse 8 written out too? It gives a whole different feeling and prospect to the passage. It becomes very important now. You take notice! The first thing I did was  to see if indeed I have joy in my heart, light in my eyes? I have to tell you that my eyes weren’t as bright as they have been-because again I am asking and seeking.  But my joy is there!  and do you know why? Because joy is a gift of the Holy Spirit. It doesn’t depend on circumstances to be joyful-it just is. And when I let that joy go and think of all the wonderful blessings that  I have and the answers to questions that I do have, well, the joy just gets bigger!  Then think about the fear of the LordThis simply means  to revere Him.  So often flippant language about God , the relationship or prayer, or a story will reveal a lack of reverence for His true Presence. I know I can admit it because I am forgiven those times I have been flippant. It is easy in our world today, very easy not to give Him the Utmost Reverence. Wait what does reverence really mean? Worship and adore, honor and respect; four little words that are probably the most important words in our language. I would add two more, forgiveness and acceptance.  A person can live a life pleasing to the Lord and to his fellow man if he practices those  six words. wow, six little words could change your world, could change my world.  Worship, Adore, Honor, Respect, Forgiveness and Acceptance.  Anybody up for a trial, that you would be willing to really try and live these six words just for a week? Keep track of anything different in peoples’ attitudes or your attitude in your quiet time,  and then next week, let me know?  And of course I will be doing it too. I can’t ask ya’ll to do something I wouldn’t do. So now it is on my calendar to tell ya’ll of my experiences as well.  I just bet we’re all in for something Good!

Psalm 111:1-10  Praise the Lord. I will extol the Lord with all my heart in the council of the upright and in the assembly. Great are the works of the Lord; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered. The Lord is gracious and compassionate. He provides food for those who fear him ; he remembers his covenant forever. he has shown his people the power of his works,giving them the lands of other nations. The work  of his hands are faithful and just; all his precepts are trustworthy. They are steadfast forever and ever, done in faithfulness and uprightness.  He provided redemption for his people; he ordained his covenant forever– holy and awesome is his name. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom; all who follow his precepts have good understanding. To him belongs eternal praise.

I don’t know about ya’ll but I think we are onto something good here! This is real life  stuff. Our Lord knew that we were concerned about paying the bills, our home, our clothing, our children, even education–because He addressed every issue in His Word.  We are living in perilous times, certainly what I believe as so many other Bible believing Christians do,  the last days. Ours is the first generation that could spread the gospel literally to every part of the world. Our Lord said when that was done, to look for Him, because He was coming when that was done. The Prophets wrote of signs in the heavens and signs in the earth. I would say that we certainly have had an up tick of those events–all the more reason to try our little experiment. I look forward to hearing from each one of you.  May the Lord God bless you for your efforts.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, 6 life changing words, A New Challenge, Bible study, Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, getting validated, grandchildren, holiness, How to Be Happy, Jesus Christ, Joy | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments »

There Are Hardly Words…Yet Someone Has to Speak…

Posted by Cindy H French on 12/16/2012

I just finished watching the Mike Huckabee show on Fox. I didn’t even hear of the holocaust for that was what it was for those children, those teachers until late yesterday afternoon. This time I have deliberately not watched the television or read much about it, because truthfully it was more than I could process myself.  Not that Meningitis is as serious a thing as what has happened in this small town in CT, but what I have found meningitis to do to me as person is more surprising. I don’t remember this same reaction 2 years ago. It was also viral meningitis-but different virus they say. And no I can’t help it-it has to do with the immunity issue. Obviously I will no longer be able to take any immuno suppressant drugs for my RA, in fact nothing but pain pills for the moment. The doctor is afraid he might kill me with the next infection that doesn’t respond to antibiotics. Of course, I try to tell him that question, time and day are quite up to the Lord, only He knows how many days of life I have written in that Book. And mostly I have to admit that my pain is still not unbearable like it used to be. I’ve asked the Lord to heal me completely my goodness look at how well I did w/out the pain, I can only imagine what I might be like again if I were whole. To that end, I am putting it out there, that I have prayed with a man who has the gift of healing from God the Holy Spirit. I know this Spirit well, He has resided in me over 40 years and so Spirit recognizes Spirit. I think certainly the Lord expects us to test that and know what we are dealing with. I know that my encapsulated shoulder is no longer encapsulated. Before I couldn’t use the arm hardly at all. Now, it is normal. I believe that I was healed so well from the pulmonary embolism this summer because of prayer and very specific prayer for healing. My doctors said there is no sign or evidence of scarring from the embolism like they would have expected. I say Hallelujah! So with a meningitis diagnosis and a hospital ya’ll all know where I have been. I had prayed all day Saturday as it was coming on me, not for it to be so bad-but I know what His expectation is when I go. I told Him I hurt so bad, how was I going to be able to speak with anyone? that’s when He reminded me from Matthew 10:19-20 do not worry about what to say or how to say it; when the times comes you will be given what you should say.  For it will not be just you speaking, But the Spirit of your heavenly Father speaking through you.

It truly was that way. I was checked into my room about 5 am. The nurse was very nice and as she went through my history, she kept exclaiming over it and she kept telling me how positive I was about it all. I just said It’s God that makes the difference. But that was all I said. She finished asking finally and turned and began walking out of the room. When God wants you to do something, it doesn’t matter how you feel. You just have to do it. I said to her, “wait, just a minute I’ve got a question for you! So she turned back around to hear my question which was-If you meet God tonight what will  you tell him when He asks you why He should let you into His heaven? She said oh I am going to tell Him I have always wanted to be a part of all that love and goodness and that’s why. I said  You’d be a little too late. you see, you have to decide to be for Jesus or against Jesus when you are alive on earth. I gave her many scriptures I have given here before, but in my words, Jesus is speaking and saying Hey there!! I am knocking on your Door of your  Heart and if anyone hears Me and Opens the Door, I will come in to Him and I will stay with Him forever, as in never leave you, you can’t make me go either, I will love you forever and ever and ever. Aren’t those exciting words? I love knowing that Very God is living inside of me-not because I deserve it or that it’s even clean enough in there for Him. However I will tell you He has been working diligently to clean me up-areas and closets full that I didn’t know I had. But He knew and so they have to go. Well that’s a whole ‘nother topic too-so just to finish the story. I asked the nurse if she understood now how to become a part of God’s family. Oh yes, she did; I expected us to talk again that night so that I could make sure she had prayed and was sure of her commitment. But when I asked for her I was told, “she’s a floater, you won’t see her again.”  Oh that hand on my shoulder again! This time showing me it was a good thing that I had reached out when I did-no second chance there!!

 

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Christianity, ear infections and T tubes, Fruits of the Spirit, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, mass shootings, Spinal Meningitis, Spirituality | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Still Trusting-And For So Much More Now!

Posted by Cindy H French on 11/13/2012

My world has changed  since I last wrote!  First my husband came in my office last week and said he was ready to move to Atlanta!! Now for those of you who do not know me or my background, I moved to Atlanta at age 16, not very happily but eventually it was home. Then in my early to mid 30’s  in 1984 it was,  we moved to Tampa. I was very happy with the move. My parents lived in Orlando and I could see about them regularly. I loved the weather and overall we have done pretty well here. However our children went home to Tampa after college and now that is where my grandchildren are. I am learning every day how short life really is and those precious moments that I could be with them, I’ve been here out of fear in some cases, because I believe I have some extraordinary doctors taking care of me and have wondered how in the world I would replace them. Of course, my Abba Father has brought this to my attention-the lack  of faith on my part that He wouldn’t help me identify the right doctors to take care of me there. And as for the cold, well, I can dress for it. But it is an easy trade to be with my girls-all of them!!

We talked about moving two or three years ago, but at that time, my husband still had that double machine in his chest and was still in a lot of pain and the cold made it worse. So after all of my plans with my wonderful boss, we scrapped it all and stayed.  And of course with the craziness of my body this past 2 years I guess this is where God wanted me to be.  Still, I am very thankful that I can work out arrangements  to continue to work for Gary and MRI, stay insured and widen my client base. I believe I can resurrect some old clients. I was just speaking with 2 of those very special ladies I did work for 10 and 11 years ago for the first time last week. It was pretty thrilling to me to be so well remembered.

Of course we can not leave until next July1 when our lease is up. I know that sounds like such a long time! But  to us and especially to my husband who will bear the brunt of the packing up and the putting back in order this lovely villa just the way we found it, he will need every day of every month that we have!  We have so loved it here. I was planning on seeing if we could sign up for 2 more years right after Christmas, so you can imagine my big surprise! But how lovely a surprise. NOW MS. DIANE, I don’t have to be the little bit jealous of you that I was with your move. I could certainly understand it. I too will be limited in how much I can do or help. which leads me to my second surprise. And this one isn’t so pleasant. I had more of what I would call a seizure coming home from church today. My husband was driving, I had started to say something, but all of a sudden my neck got rigid and my head was turning back and forth and I was saying with difficulty no, not , no, not. My right hand was holding on to the door handle-I thought if I let go of it, my arm would go flying. I don’t know that, that would be true, it was just a feeling.  This went on for a full minute-to a minute and half and now stands as the weirdest thing  that has ever happened to me. A couple of things I did notice and have continued having pain and just weird feeling with is my neck. Especially if I have it tilted down to read or I am paying attention to my hands on the keyboard too long. What I had alluded to last week physically is that I am having some similar issues with my head like I did when I had those tumors back in 2009. I don’t know that this is a reoccurance, because my neck wasn’t involved at all then, and it definitely is now. So after speaking to a sub neurologist, mine was out of town. I will be making calls in the morning and hoping to get some testing done. What I would ask you dear friends is your prayers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing like having your friends and loved ones pray for you. This may come to nothing like in March–but I know it was worse, and harder on me and God forbid that I would have been driving.  So now I have a driver for awhile! So let’s hope and pray that someone will have some answers this time.

 I will try and keep up some regular posts to let you know what’s happening. I realized with Diane not well and moving how hard it was waiting to hear. So I will try and be good about it.

The previous post was written last night. I didn’t publish because I wanted to speak to my boss, my doctor and see what was up before I sent out such a disquieting post!  The bad news is that I had another episode this morning. And I still believe that my neck is somehow involved. We did go down and see my neurologist, but unfortunately, this is not her area of expertise. She had no ideas of what to tell me to do or who to see or even what basic tests could be run-which I can guess myself what 2 basic tests would be. So my surgeon referred me to another doctor right at end of the business day so I will have to call for an appt  tomorrow.. In the meantime, I am working carefully and asking the Lord to protect us, bless us, go before us.

Posted in brain tumor, cervical fusions, Christianity, chronic pain, dural arteriovenous fistulas, Fruits of the Spirit, kidnapped, occipital neuropathy, Prayer, Religion, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

Posted by Cindy H French on 09/03/2012

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

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CONNECTIONS!!

Posted by Cindy H French on 08/26/2012

I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!”  So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about!  Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the  very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a  man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the  midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me  about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is!  She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that,  probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with  in my life.

Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise,  starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because  now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off!  Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and  of course it makes you want to do it again, and again.  It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.

And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn.  Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her.  So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said  STOP!, just STOP!  of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time?  I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch.  I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking in my shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together.  What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that  will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.

So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.

Posted in ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, ear infections and T tubes, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, hiatal hernia spasm, Jesus Christ, menningitis, miraculous healing, pulmonary embolism, relationships, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

PHILIPPIANS –The Love Book–finishing up the 1st Chapter

Posted by Cindy H French on 08/26/2012

Oh Beloved ones! I have tried once, twice again to write, but have just been delayed in doing so. I have to believe when that happens, I am to wait to write. My Master who knows all things may be changing the circumstances, timing, days, people who knows what?, but  when He is ready, then I am ready. I have spent the last several weeks almost in a state of constant excitement and anticipation. I wake up like that and I go to bed very late because of that; I am looking and listening, reading the Word and communing with my Lord God. I went back to Philippians where I didn’t finish what I was exactly writing about. There are so many great passages in Philippians to quote from that, that is all you would get, so I am picking out the pieces of scripture in the book that mean so much to me, but I would urge you to read and study Philippians on your own as well–you might have a whole different way that means something to you that God speak to you through.

In the body of the first chapter, Paul is doing exactly what I do in bad, poor, horrible or otherwise situations: He is telling the Philippians that the fact that he is in jail is actually a good thing. It truly is, because he has shared the gospel throughout the jail and with all of the palace guard, which is probably the only way he would have been able to share.  He has told everyone that he has no care for comforts-that one place is as surely good as another. Paul’s whole concentration was on spreading the gospel of  Jesus Christ–just as it must be my concentration. Time is short, and yet there are so many who do not know Him! I would ask you this–at the very least you can share the Lord Jesus  within your sphere of friends and family.  I would hope and pray that you would do it because you loved them and because you believe the Father and Son and Holy Spirit when they say there  is hell yet for those who will not be reconciled.

Then Paul gives us some very important truths starting with verse 19. A long passage so I am cherry picking the verses to write:

I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance…I will not be ashamed but will have sufficient courage and hope that Christ will be exalted whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am go on living, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I chose? I do not know! I desire to depart and be with Christ, but it is more necessary for you that I remain…Whatever happens…stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. For you will be saved–and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to  believe on Him,  but also to suffer for Him.

I will stop there at the end of chapter 1. You see what I mean? There is so much for us to understand and look forward to. I think    what was brought to my attention today,  is to remind everyone that the time is short and running out. I too sometimes long for the everlasting arms of Jesus–to be able to be in His presence and worship and not have to stop for one thing or another. Yet I too have those who need me here. God isn’t finished with me yet. Unfortunately, He still has so much work to do on me, but I am so grateful for my salvation and my relationship with Him. I never knew you could truly have a relationship with God like this. I was told that He would speak to me through scripture, but He uses many, many more avenues than that! When He wants to talk to you and you don’t want to, it is not worth it to fight it! Because of course, The Lord God Almighty always wins at everything. But I promise that whatever His Plan is, it’s better than yours–because you can’t see the future and He can. Because He has planned your future so that you can be completely fulfilled, knowing you are loved unconditionally by the King Of the Universe. 

I must address the last little phrase of the text.  As I have read a lot the last week, I have noticed once again how very often Christians are suffering. At first I thought, it’s just a new church, they will get used to it. Then there was the massive pulling away from Christ altogether as we seem to be doing in America now, and certainly Europe is anything but Christian.  And now in many countries people are dying for their faith or they are suffering because of that faith. In  1st Peter 4:16, Peter says if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. Oh Beloved ones! there are so many who will be shocked on that day of judgement! Proverbs 11:30-31 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise. If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner!  or put another way in  1st Peter 4:18  If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner?  We are living in interesting, exciting times. As I have said before, just look in the newspaper and look in your Bible…It’s coming…our day…but in the meantime, love people, see them as Jesus saw the-lost sheep without a shepherd. Know in your heart, that for those left behind, there truly may not be another chance. So don’t sit back, relax and read a book.  Get up, get dressed, get out there! Make a difference in someone’s life -not just now, but eternally!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, asthma, Bible study, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, Christianity, chronic pain, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, divorce, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), rhuematoid arthritis, righteousness, second marriages | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Two Nights Without Asthma Issues! Prayers Answered! What A Wonderful Life!

Posted by Cindy H French on 08/10/2012

My puppy dog likes to get up at six and if I haven’t already gotten up at 5 or 5:30, for sure I am up at 6. This gives me time to read the Word that the Lord has for me and some wonderful devotionals that I get online. Today’s messages were so strong that I felt I couldn’t wait all day to write what the Lord was saying to me. Bear with me, I am going to be in two different books and it doesn’t even look like they could be related, but they are, so stick with me.

My first reading was out of Jeremiah. I started in Chapter 16 and read through 23. I am not going to write out all of that this morning.  But there were little jewels in each chapter to shine the light on; to bring to the forefront because of the world we are living in. I think it is the most exciting time in history because every time you open a newspaper you can see prophecy being revealed as all of the things that God has said would take place are actually happening.  The first verse in chapter 16 refers to the remnant being gathered together to form the nation of Israel one last time. God says He is restoring them to the land He gave their Fathers. But He is talking future, because right now He is very angry with them and going to scatter them by the hand of the king of Babylon. Jeremiah does write at the end of that first chapter:

O Lord, my strength and my fortress, my refuge in time of distress, to you the nations will come from the ends of the earth and say, ” Our fathers possessed nothing but false gods, worthless idols that did them no good.  Do men make their own gods?  Yes, but they are not gods!” THEREFORE I WILL TEACH THEM, THIS TIME I WILL TEACH THEM MY POWER AND MIGHT. THEN THEY WILL KNOW THAT MY NAME IS THE LORD.

I would say that at such a time as this in our own nation, we should be coming to Him or ours will also go the way of the other nations that have scorned the Lord God Almighty.

In chapter 17, there were some special truths that stuck out at me this morning. Starting in verse 7  through 10

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord whose confidence is in him. He will be like a tree planted by the water  that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it? I the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve.

Wow that says a lot in just 4 verses. First for me, it was convicting. Am I like the tree planted by the water. I know that water can be the word of the Lord God and yes, I am planted right next to it every day. But am I planted financially so that I don’t fear when heat (hard times) come? No, not any longer. However the lack of that has made me throw my total trust upon the Lord for His care and providence and I know that I have that every day, just as I see fruit of my witness every day. Did I always? Oh no, not at all.

And last but not least what God says about the heart! Oh, do I know it!! I have to keep a close eye on that heart of mine. It would like to act any way it wanted to anytime it wanted to-read whatever, see whatever movie or play or even TV show. But God has shown me that certain ones aren’t good for me. They may not bother the next person at all. For me though, they take my focus away from Him and of course that is not good for either of us. When The Lord is speaking to me about something I need to let go of –of course He has already examined my mind and heart and knows it all, yet I  sometimes still pretend,…”What are you talking about Lord, did I know do this and this? and now you want this?” But truthfully we both know I know exactly what He is talking about. What I have found out is that is it much simpler to just say Yes Lord. Obedience does bring its own rewards I have learned.

I see that I am going to have to skip over to Philippians as otherwise I would be writing so many words no one would read anything. I’ll come back to Jeremiah tomorrow and finish up.

Oh the precious book of Philippians! It was the first book study I ever did and so remains special in my heart. I know I won’t complete what I want to say about it either today and so will hope to finish it tomorrow with Jeremiah.

In the first chapter, verse 6 Paul starts with a very important verse. In fact, I base my life on this verse and then 9-11

Be confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus… And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with fruit of righteousness that come through Jesus Christ –to the glory and praise of God.

So now you know exactly why I was not afraid I was going to die of that pulmonary embolism I had in July nor of the asthma attack I had this week or of anything else that Satan may throw at me because I stand for Christ, my Savior. He has given me a task that is yet undone and so I will be here at least that long. The prayer that Paul prays is also certainly mine, just at Phil 6:19 is. (we’ll get there again) God is teaching me,  Himself and through organized formal Bible study, through my pastor, through my experiences-depth of knowledge and depth of insight-just what is good and pure and blameless. Who I should listen to, who I should give to in their neediness, who I should mentor? Discerning comes from that heart that God has examined and hopefully in my case, cleaned up enough to discern correctly HIS desires, not mine, not even my good inclinations because God’s desires, inclinations are perfect.

I  must stop here. There is so much more I would share, I thought I would have time to talk about what the great and mighty God is doing just in every day life connections for me so that I can continue helping others, but not today. Sounds like a long post tomorrow, doesn’t it! Well read what you can. Come back when you can. Know that you are beloved of the Lord God.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, asthma, Bible study, Christianity, Fruits of the Spirit, getting validated, Jesus Christ, life stories, obedience, Praise Psalms!, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

Todays’ News-Aurora Colorado Mass Shooting

Posted by Cindy H French on 07/20/2012

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon.  Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right to bear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded.  Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

Posted in adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, brain tumor, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, high school reunions, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, leukemia, mass murder, menningitis | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 7 Comments »

 
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