Our Update

It seems a little funny to be saying “our,” but that is my new reality. First and foremost, what is going on with my daughter and then what God is teaching me through my own issues as well. I’ll be completely honest. It has been very difficult and almost overwhelming! But the God who made me, knows exactly what I need, when I need it! I finally have very caring doctors and nurse practitioners who are able to help  me because they listen! How unusual that has been in my life until I moved here. So I am very thankful for them all.

That said, let me tell you about my daughter and how she is doing. Her PET scan showed that the cancer had not metastasized beyond the breast and two lymph nodes. Apparently there had been a good chance that it had gone to her brain, but again, it has not. She started chemo the middle of November and we had a “Shave the Head party” the night before Thanksgiving at my other daughter’s house with all the family gathered around. How brave she is!! There were no tears, except for mine, when I escaped to the bathroom for a few minutes. That was a hard thing to watch, but she didn’t want to go through the hair falling out and they had promised her that by that weekend it would start.

The hardest thing about the chemo is the bone pain. This was totally unexpected, at least on my part. I’m not sure about her’s. They usually tell her what to expect, when. Still, she said this is the worst pain she has ever experienced in her life. Whatever bones it is hurting, if it’s her knees, as an example. She says it’s like she has been beaten with a baseball bat and her knees have exploded! She asked for specific prayer on those days when she was expecting the bone pain. I put out the word to my Bible study class, Sunday School class and whomever I spoke with. And believe or not, the pain is much easier and she is better able to handle it! Only God could make this happen! She has one more of this particular kind of chemo treatment the day after Christmas, then they start adding other chemo meds in too. Again, we are asking for prayer that she can get through these treatments. 

I have known so many women who have gone through breast cancer chemo, but none shared the details of what they have actually gone through. It’s ugly awful. The other prayer we are asking for is that the tumor will greatly shrink through these treatments.

As for me, I will start neuromuscular physical therapy in January. I have no idea how it will be different from regular PT that I have had before and didn’t help. I am still riding my recumbent bike and doing the stretching exercises with the big elastic band. But none of that has helped with the balance or kept me from falls. I fell twice over Thanksgiving and injured my left hand and wrist and am now wearing a brace, grateful I didn’t break it! But oh my, it hurts!

 I have discovered a new research program which believes they have discovered the “why” of Parkinson’s, Parkinsonism, MSA, ALS, etc. I did sign up to hopefully be a part of their drugl next year. It is not supposed to have any placebos with any patients, or side effects. What they have done so far is remarkable and really could represent a “cure.” That would be pretty awesome for so very many people!

I hope you all have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! Happy Birthday Jesus!

Cindy

Advertisements

Full Disclosure

I had my heart procedure yesterday and guess I wasn’t up to writing this when I re-read it this morning. I have corrected my writing!

The last few times I have written I have alluded to more health issues than I wanted to go into. Last Thursday, I got my DaT scan from Mayo. It is the definitive test for Parkinson’s or Multiple System Atrophy. I have Parkinson’s. Mine seems to be the slow growing kind, thank the Lord. Some people have the aggressive kind and degenerate quickly. My local doctors once told, both said that now everything about me made more sense! All I know is that the brief amount of time that I’ve had to read about it, I do fit with the symptoms. Some I didn’t even want to acknowledge. But they are all there. I don’t shake much because I take an awesome medicine named Primidone that really works for me. I do have some bad days where I seem to shake a lot, but up until now, I’ve just taken another pill. We always thought it was Essential Tremor, but when I read about that, it’s only on one side, one limb. Unfortunately for me, without meds, my whole body shakes. But all the other things you’ve read from my writings, the dizziness, the falls, the fainting, the orthostatic hypotension, post orthostatic tachycardia, and other things I won’t mention are all a part of this.

Everyone has been asking me how I am. I am completely fine, actually relieved! It’s nice to know what’s wrong with you-that you aren’t nuts!!! Even 3 years ago when I wrote about the Ataxia, that was a symptom. I don’t why the local docs didn’t put it altogether, but I am ever so glad for my neurologist in Panama City who did and who has now moved back to Mississippi! I will meet one of his associates for the first time next week and we will decide where we go from here. One wonderful thing is that Mayo has a huge research center for Parkinson’s and they are looking for volunteers-don’t know if they’d have me of course. But at least they have Parkinson specialists there. Another note is that Parkinson’s is a muscle disease. Lungs are muscles, so no wonder I have more trouble with my lungs than just asthma! And the heart is a muscle too of course. I guess that’s why I have trouble with it too.

Tomorrow I am going to the Cath Lab for my second time in less than 2 years. The doc admitted that I have serious heart disease. Not my fault, it’s genetic. Both parents and all four grandparents had heart issues too. Plus I am allergic to the Statin drugs for cholesterol and mine is sky-high regardless of diet.  It will be strictly the Lab, I can’t be carried off to the operating room even if I need it. My lungs won’t stand that kind of operation. So the Lord is going to have to really do some work on me-miraculous work. Say a prayer for me tomorrow ok? The procedure is a 7 am Central time.

So how did things go? I did have complete blockages in some very small arteries  that they couldn’t stent. I also had a partial blockage in a larger artery, but apparently not enough of one to stent. Still all said, enough to make me have the chest pain and breathlessness that I have been having. The doc said he’d be prescribing some additional meds for that. To me, things came out great! I certainly didn’t want to add to my stent count! But it was a wake up call that I need to get back to my physical therapy and recumbent bike riding.

One Psalm that kept running through my head through all of this was Psalm 100:

Shout joyfully to the Lord, all the earth. Serve the Lord with gladness; Come before Him with joyful singing. Now that the Lord, He is God; It is He  who has made us and not we ourselves; We are His people and the sheep of His pasture. Enter His gates with thanksgiving, and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him; bless His name. For the Lord is good; His lovingkindness is everlasting. And His faithfulness to all generations.

Cindy

 

Squeezed In A Visit To Atlanta!

My baby sister had her 50th birthday last weekend. Her husband decided to give her a very big bash and so many friends and family joined in the celebration. 

We arrived on Wednesday so that I could lunch with my younger daughter who has her wedding to an awesome young man happening Labor Day weekend. She had a list of things for me to complete/find for her still as well as getting to go to her dress fitting and alterations. So thrilled!

On Friday, we met my sisters for mani/pedis and massages and lunch! It was so awesome because Laurel needed commitments from each of them for help for the wedding day set up. Of course she got it, but she had been anxious. I am so excited that she is seeing that adoption has nothing on blood when it comes to times like these. We are family!! (for more information refer to my blog post Child of My Heart)

Friday night we had a big family dinner at my first-born daughter’s home. Even my nephew/his wife/children and my niece were there. I couldn’t help but be euphoric the whole night at everyone in one place, celebrating Holly, my sister, but also my daughter’s wedding to come. Just enjoying being together as family.

I realize that so many families do not celebrate each other. They are not close at all. If you are one of those, then know that you are part of God’s forever family. WE would have welcomed you in that Friday night or Saturday night at the official celebration. Because of my brother-in-law’s careful investigation into our family genealogy, we found out that our family history goes back quite a ways and some people might consider it quite stellar. I on the other hand, could only continue to say “thank you God that I am in YOUR family, no other family matters!”  Because in truth, that is so! All that is really important is who we are in Christ Jesus. WE ARE HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS, He says. I don’t think I am sour grapes on this, just looking at heaven, because the things of this earth are a whisp of smoke. I believe I’ve written that before too! I do believe it!

So scriptures tonight are abundant as many spoke to me during this time.

Psalm 42:1-2  As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God. When can I go and meet with God? 

Philippians 2:15  So that you many become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe.

Proverbs 3:5  Lean on, trust in, and be confident in the Lord with all your heart and mind and do not rely on your own insight or understanding.     

Isaiah 30:15  For thus said the Lord God, the Holy One of Israel: In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me] you shall be saved; in quietness and in [trusting] confidence shall be your strength. But you would not.

God says “Remember, I made you in My Image, and I hid heaven in your heart. When you yearn for Me, it’s a form of homesickness, as heaven is your true home. Seek ME and you will find me. (Jeremiah 29:13) 

G’night

Cindy

Back Home!

We were gone for 12 days! I can’t remember being gone so long from my home before! Yet, it was a renewal in so many ways for us as a couple, for me to see God’s continued faithfulness, for me to expand my abilities physically. 

When I last stopped writing (because I was having trouble with posting on my IPad), we were to visit Chimney Rock the next day. Still on oxygen and my walker, we were told I would have to walk almost 2 complete football field lengths to get the elevator from where the shuttle had dropped us off.  All I knew was that I had to try!  So very slowly and carefully, across uneven terrain, I finally made it to the area where they had built an elevator shaft into the mountain to take us up to Chimney Rock…as we went out to the site and I saw the river below and all of God’s great abundance of creation, I was almost brought to my knees! It was so beautiful! And how Chimney Rock is carefully placed upon another smaller rock and balanced can only be something God did! My husband was able to climb the stairs to the top of the Rock and see everything. Still, when he came down, he told me that what I had seen was the same view as he had!!

As we slowly made our way back to the shuttle, another couple with children who had apparently watched my progress up and down with interest, asked me, “Was it worth it?”  “Of course it was,” I answered, so proud of myself that I had accomplished so much (for me) and that meant I could have future goals too. (We’ve already begun to set them by the way–I intend to live a while, the Lord willing)

So my devotional that day was about self-pity!!  This little bit I will add to this post: from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young. Your only hope is to look up and see the Light of my Presence shining down upon you…You can reach up and grasp My hand. I will pull you out into the Light again. I will gently cleanse you, washing off the clinging mire. I will cover you with My righteousness and walk with you down the path of Life.

 Scriptures:  Psalm 40:2-3 he lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord.

Psalm 147:11 The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.

More coming,

Cindy

SEEING GOD’S GLORIOUS AMERICA

I am traveling on a trip that God has been so gracious to give us. I have to admit the first couple of days were hard. My husband was so very tired that except for going to the top of Lookout Mt. we cancelled our other plans. We did have a fabulous dinner last night downtown in a little Bistro I found online. Fresh trout grilled smoky with some grape tomatoes and herbs. Probably the best way I’ve ever had trout!

Today we traveled through the gorgeous North Carolina mountains. Everywhere I looked I could see our Lord’s creative hand! For the next 3 days we are staying in Asheville. There are so many places to see! Tonight we were referred to a Grill  to too far away. Dennis had a 14 oz prime rib! I haven’t seen him eat that much meat since before his heart surgery 11 years ago! And I had really great lamb chops! I ate more meat than I ever do. It was like we were starved for meat.  Great meal.

Today we go to the Biltmore Estate. Sometimes I guess it’s good to be disabled and senior. Our tickets were so much more affordable. A blessing! Looking forward to our day!

Today my scripture is from Psalm 89:8  “0 Lord God of hosts, who is a strong Lord like unto Thee? or to Thy faithfulness round about Thee?”  See everywhere in scripture it speaks of our faithful God. I am living proof of that as are so many, many others.

Have a great day!

Cindy

A BROKEN WRIST…

…Is all I suffered when I fell almost 2 weeks ago! I was on a short step-ladder, hanging my beloved pictures we have collected from our travels. I was coming down and got my foot tangled in the second step! Back, I went on the tile. I hit hard on my tailbone and my left wrist and arm. Just glanced my head! Off we went to the hospital. I was so protected in this fall. I could have broken my neck, my spine, or damaged my arm worse. 

When I can see past the pain of the wrist, I am reminded of all the service people in our armed forces who come home permanently without a limb. Being left-handed, it has been extremely difficult to fix my hair, do my makeup, take notes for my job, just being on the phone and trying to type at the same time! But at least my wrist will heal, my tail bone will eventually heal, our wounded warriors sometimes never do.

The apostle Paul said in writing Romans 8:18 “I consider our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.” I am trying to remember that.

Cindy

In Light of the Recent Planned Parenthood Videos…

There has been a lot of questions, comments from both the “Christian” and secular world. Before anyone reads what I have written, please understand, I am not condemning anyone for an action they may have taken. God is always there to forgive. He says that He forgives all sin even your rejection of Him right up until you die-then it’s too late. I know that’s why Jesus came, because God is love and mercy and grace. But He also requires repentance and acceptance of His Son’s sacrifice, not so that you have to obey a bunch of rules and regulations and “conform.” But so that HE alone, who loves you so much, comes inside that body, that spirit-regardless of what you’ve done, where you’ve been, what you’ve said–and makes you clean and pure again. It’s really a miracle in and of itself. So understand please, I am not holding myself up as a paragon of virtue, but a sinner who found a savior.

I wrote this paragraph below in response to someone’s query of God help us…in response to the videos. He gets a lot of readers to his posts. then I thought I could do no less.

In Psalm 139, it says that God is there when our innermost parts are knit together. Why in the world does no one think that abortion is not murder for convenience? Now that they can sell body parts, it has become about that too. No wonder God has taken His Hand of protection off of America. How can He bear looking down upon our world today?
The disciples asked Jesus when they could look for His coming again. He said, “When it is like the days of Noah.” I would challenge anyone to go back and read about the wickedness on the earth when God was grieved that He had even created man. Yet found one good man, Noah. Noah and his family were saved because Noah listened and believed.
If we were to look around today at the wickedness in our world, I am sure that those in Noah’s world, could not have even imagined such evil! And yet the Lord delays. I am sure it is for that last one to come to know Him in a personal way. They say that thousands in China and across Asia come to Jesus everyday. People in India, and in so many Muslim countries are seeing visions of Jesus or dreaming of Him because that is the only way they might hear of Him, but they want to know the TRUE GOD.
The TRUE GOD says in the book of Isaiah, Seek me, and you will find me.
God is not a liar. Try Him, anyone who reads this and doesn’t know Him.