That is from Proverbs 19: 2. My emphasis tonight is the rushing ahead. I am not going to as I usually do-rush what you say? Our move back to Atlanta, Ga after 30 years in Florida. I did think I would spend the rest of my life here. I do love and the weather. I have come to love our little house that the Lord gave us too and often tell the story of how we came to it. I love my BSF group and will probably miss them the most. I have made some dear friends here. So how was I rushing? We knew that we were going to move back up to Atlanta when our lease was up in June, so we thought to look around and see what kind of housing might be available for what kind of money. We found a great apartment with superb amenities. There were only 2 negatives. The kitchen was miniscule. (even to their drawers-only one large one and across the room, one very small one.) Since the point of our arrangement is for me to slow down and take lots better care of myself, He’s been doing the cooking and shopping for us. So if HE said He could deal with the kitchen, then why should I worry about it all the time? So what did I do/not do? First I presented our dilemma to our landlady…who could not have been more gracious and understanding. And She went me one farther, find your place and then move. Go ahead and be packing, know that God is in everything. aaah, how our God does work. .So after speaking with the landlady and getting the green light, Dennis just started packing away. We were to call the apartment people that our daughter had gone over and spoken with on Saturday and fill out an online app and overnight an application fee. But as we started to do those final thing, I was certain, that I was rushing and it wasn’t good. I looked at my husband and said the same to him. I think I shocked twenty years off of him, but as we prayed and our spirits calmed, we knew we were making the right decision. It may not seem that way for the world because in all liklihood we will lose the apartment. For us that certainty was a hard decision. but, we believe if that happens God just has something better for us.
My world has changed since I last wrote! First my husband came in my office last week and said he was ready to move to Atlanta!! Now for those of you who do not know me or my background, I moved to Atlanta at age 16, not very happily but eventually it was home. Then in my early to mid 30’s in 1984 it was, we moved to Tampa. I was very happy with the move. My parents lived in Orlando and I could see about them regularly. I loved the weather and overall we have done pretty well here. However our children went home to Tampa after college and now that is where my grandchildren are. I am learning every day how short life really is and those precious moments that I could be with them, I’ve been here out of fear in some cases, because I believe I have some extraordinary doctors taking care of me and have wondered how in the world I would replace them. Of course, my Abba Father has brought this to my attention-the lack of faith on my part that He wouldn’t help me identify the right doctors to take care of me there. And as for the cold, well, I can dress for it. But it is an easy trade to be with my girls-all of them!!
We talked about moving two or three years ago, but at that time, my husband still had that double machine in his chest and was still in a lot of pain and the cold made it worse. So after all of my plans with my wonderful boss, we scrapped it all and stayed. And of course with the craziness of my body this past 2 years I guess this is where God wanted me to be. Still, I am very thankful that I can work out arrangements to continue to work for Gary and MRI, stay insured and widen my client base. I believe I can resurrect some old clients. I was just speaking with 2 of those very special ladies I did work for 10 and 11 years ago for the first time last week. It was pretty thrilling to me to be so well remembered.
Of course we can not leave until next July1 when our lease is up. I know that sounds like such a long time! But to us and especially to my husband who will bear the brunt of the packing up and the putting back in order this lovely villa just the way we found it, he will need every day of every month that we have! We have so loved it here. I was planning on seeing if we could sign up for 2 more years right after Christmas, so you can imagine my big surprise! But how lovely a surprise. NOW MS. DIANE, I don’t have to be the little bit jealous of you that I was with your move. I could certainly understand it. I too will be limited in how much I can do or help. which leads me to my second surprise. And this one isn’t so pleasant. I had more of what I would call a seizure coming home from church today. My husband was driving, I had started to say something, but all of a sudden my neck got rigid and my head was turning back and forth and I was saying with difficulty no, not , no, not. My right hand was holding on to the door handle-I thought if I let go of it, my arm would go flying. I don’t know that, that would be true, it was just a feeling. This went on for a full minute-to a minute and half and now stands as the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me. A couple of things I did notice and have continued having pain and just weird feeling with is my neck. Especially if I have it tilted down to read or I am paying attention to my hands on the keyboard too long. What I had alluded to last week physically is that I am having some similar issues with my head like I did when I had those tumors back in 2009. I don’t know that this is a reoccurance, because my neck wasn’t involved at all then, and it definitely is now. So after speaking to a sub neurologist, mine was out of town. I will be making calls in the morning and hoping to get some testing done. What I would ask you dear friends is your prayers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing like having your friends and loved ones pray for you. This may come to nothing like in March–but I know it was worse, and harder on me and God forbid that I would have been driving. So now I have a driver for awhile! So let’s hope and pray that someone will have some answers this time.
I will try and keep up some regular posts to let you know what’s happening. I realized with Diane not well and moving how hard it was waiting to hear. So I will try and be good about it.
The previous post was written last night. I didn’t publish because I wanted to speak to my boss, my doctor and see what was up before I sent out such a disquieting post! The bad news is that I had another episode this morning. And I still believe that my neck is somehow involved. We did go down and see my neurologist, but unfortunately, this is not her area of expertise. She had no ideas of what to tell me to do or who to see or even what basic tests could be run-which I can guess myself what 2 basic tests would be. So my surgeon referred me to another doctor right at end of the business day so I will have to call for an appt tomorrow.. In the meantime, I am working carefully and asking the Lord to protect us, bless us, go before us.
Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me your decrees. .. I keep your precepts with all my heart…I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold…Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word. Palm 119 67-74
I first wrote and underlined this passage in my Bible in June of 2011. I had just gotten home from the hospital after a bout with my asthma. This time the Lord did a lot of work while I was there. I have come home tired! He sold my sofa to one of the nurses and everywhere I turned there was someone to share with! My roommate, her husband, my nurses, even my student nurses. It really was glorious! And this was the scripture the Lord gave to me.
I know O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is your delight…I will mediate on your precepts…May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.
Then the Lord brought me back there 2 months later. ..It seems I hadn’t been studying His precepts thoroughly enough, nor did I have an adult’s comprehension of the passage-just a child’s. So I prayed-and prayed that he would give me a hope that this feeling would be understood as an adult. To that end, He started giving me passages on health. I always thought they were for someone else-more deserving-but on August 26 of this year, I got a new scripture. I even told ya’ll not to get too excited! But I was excited-because it did seem for me as I could find nothing for anyone else! this time the scripture is from Jeremiah 17: 7-10,14-15
But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit. The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure who can understand it? I, the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve…Heal me , O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise. They keep saying to me, “Where is the word of the Lord ? Let it now be fulfilled”
I first gave you those verses on August 18th and September 3rd. Then I was due for my Remecaid on September 14th. Now these dates are important. USUALLY by the week before the Remecaid is given, I have started hurting-not this time and certainly the week of, or absolutely, positively the week after. But as I write this, I don’t have any pain! Is that not the greatest thing in all the world? So I would say that this is proof positive that the Lord God keeps His Promises! (now that I know this-there will be forth coming announcements)
And now it has been a week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.
I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what I can.
the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it is September and I am starting it off the same way! And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed. Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7 yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends. (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)
Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for protection because I was going to have to confront this devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me! I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!
So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too. or I am send you to a particular blog . Numbers 23: 19-20 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; he has blessed it, and I cannot change it
Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation! The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he? And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble. I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands. I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you. This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd. It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?
Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US. But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere, in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts we all come with —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”
So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.” I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord with all my heart is the most important thing to Him NEXT to Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and He consistently confirms it, You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing. and if I must then I will be calling on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper. He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.
I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!” So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about! Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is! She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that, probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with in my life.
Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise, starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off! Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and of course it makes you want to do it again, and again. It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.
And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn. Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her. So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said STOP!, just STOP! of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time? I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch. I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking in my shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together. What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.
So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.
Oh Beloved ones! I have tried once, twice again to write, but have just been delayed in doing so. I have to believe when that happens, I am to wait to write. My Master who knows all things may be changing the circumstances, timing, days, people who knows what?, but when He is ready, then I am ready. I have spent the last several weeks almost in a state of constant excitement and anticipation. I wake up like that and I go to bed very late because of that; I am looking and listening, reading the Word and communing with my Lord God. I went back to Philippians where I didn’t finish what I was exactly writing about. There are so many great passages in Philippians to quote from that, that is all you would get, so I am picking out the pieces of scripture in the book that mean so much to me, but I would urge you to read and study Philippians on your own as well–you might have a whole different way that means something to you that God speak to you through.
In the body of the first chapter, Paul is doing exactly what I do in bad, poor, horrible or otherwise situations: He is telling the Philippians that the fact that he is in jail is actually a good thing. It truly is, because he has shared the gospel throughout the jail and with all of the palace guard, which is probably the only way he would have been able to share. He has told everyone that he has no care for comforts-that one place is as surely good as another. Paul’s whole concentration was on spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ–just as it must be my concentration. Time is short, and yet there are so many who do not know Him! I would ask you this–at the very least you can share the Lord Jesus within your sphere of friends and family. I would hope and pray that you would do it because you loved them and because you believe the Father and Son and Holy Spirit when they say there is hell yet for those who will not be reconciled.
Then Paul gives us some very important truths starting with verse 19. A long passage so I am cherry picking the verses to write:
I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance…I will not be ashamed but will have sufficient courage and hope that Christ will be exalted whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am go on living, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I chose? I do not know! I desire to depart and be with Christ, but it is more necessary for you that I remain…Whatever happens…stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. For you will be saved–and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him.
I will stop there at the end of chapter 1. You see what I mean? There is so much for us to understand and look forward to. I think what was brought to my attention today, is to remind everyone that the time is short and running out. I too sometimes long for the everlasting arms of Jesus–to be able to be in His presence and worship and not have to stop for one thing or another. Yet I too have those who need me here. God isn’t finished with me yet. Unfortunately, He still has so much work to do on me, but I am so grateful for my salvation and my relationship with Him. I never knew you could truly have a relationship with God like this. I was told that He would speak to me through scripture, but He uses many, many more avenues than that! When He wants to talk to you and you don’t want to, it is not worth it to fight it! Because of course, The Lord God Almighty always wins at everything. But I promise that whatever His Plan is, it’s better than yours–because you can’t see the future and He can. Because He has planned your future so that you can be completely fulfilled, knowing you are loved unconditionally by the King Of the Universe.
I must address the last little phrase of the text. As I have read a lot the last week, I have noticed once again how very often Christians are suffering. At first I thought, it’s just a new church, they will get used to it. Then there was the massive pulling away from Christ altogether as we seem to be doing in America now, and certainly Europe is anything but Christian. And now in many countries people are dying for their faith or they are suffering because of that faith. In 1st Peter 4:16, Peter says if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. Oh Beloved ones! there are so many who will be shocked on that day of judgement! Proverbs 11:30-31 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise. If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner! or put another way in 1st Peter 4:18 If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? We are living in interesting, exciting times. As I have said before, just look in the newspaper and look in your Bible…It’s coming…our day…but in the meantime, love people, see them as Jesus saw the-lost sheep without a shepherd. Know in your heart, that for those left behind, there truly may not be another chance. So don’t sit back, relax and read a book. Get up, get dressed, get out there! Make a difference in someone’s life -not just now, but eternally!
It has been a whole week since a post from me! Beloved ones, it is not because I wanted it that way, it was that part of the week I was really sick again with the asthma. My precious Lord told 5 people to call me that day to pray for me! I was so surprised! Each one knew I was ill, but not with what and that they were to pray and so they did. This was Tuesday. It was very difficult because I needed to work–I had made good calls the day before but Tuesday is always followup day. I had been up twice during the night to use my nebulizer 1 am and then at 5-never went back to sleep–knew my breathing was really diminished. I had called the doctor and was told to go back up to 60 mg of prednisone and keep using the neb. I did work all day but God was so good to me. He literally dropped in my lap 2 people who were great fits for 2 new searches that I had been asked to work with another associate out of Indianapolis. She is going to present them to the client on Monday and I am so glad for her! She seems to be a fine partner, thinks like I do–it’s not guaranteed that every time you get asked to do something by another team, that the relationship will be trustworthy or that you will even like one another! So I am grateful on many counts.
So let’s go back a week to Jeremiah 17:12 Notice the order here-praising and worshipping first, then requesting.
A glorious throne, exalted from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary. O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who forsake you will be put to shame. Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the Spring of Living Water. Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Now everybody don’t get excited all at once! I have prayed for healing before now and I have been prayed for and over. I do believe that I am healed, that it may not manifest itself for awhile or while I am here on this earth. My Lord and I have done a lot of talking about my body, what’s been wrong with it all my life, what I am doing now, what I can expect in the future. I really don’t have all the answers except for this. I trust my Lord and Father God with everything that I have and I am. He uses the illnesses or attacks or crazy things I catch to put me in the right place, at the right time, to speak with a particular person-that apparently I needed to be the one to do the sharing and the reaping which is so much fun! I would rather talk about Jesus and all that He has done and is doing not just for me but for so many that I know about–than just about anything else I can think of! I do have to be careful though, there are other things to speak of than Jesus and my work I know-and I can’t be a good friend, good family member, good at anything else if I don’t pay close attention when needed and wanted.
I did want to say thank you to those 5 people who called me on Tues when I was so sick and the Lord told you to call and pray for me. I was sick and terribly afraid I was going to have to go back to the Hospital and stay again. But God honored your obedience in calling and praying and He answered by keeping me out of the hospital and I was able to work through it.
This week He made some people who have needed jobs for over a year, or wanted a particular position with a particular company, or always worked toward a company with a future and a position of authority –these people were all happy tonight this week, and today yes it is 3 in the morning. I was so privileged to be a part of all of it. It is one of the reasons I do work hard.
so I say Thank you Jesus!