That is from Proverbs 19: 2. My emphasis tonight is the rushing ahead. I am not going to as I usually do-rush what you say? Our move back to Atlanta, Ga after 30 years in Florida. I did think I would spend the rest of my life here. I do love and the weather. I have come to love our little house that the Lord gave us too and often tell the story of how we came to it. I love my BSF group and will probably miss them the most. I have made some dear friends here. So how was I rushing? We knew that we were going to move back up to Atlanta when our lease was up in June, so we thought to look around and see what kind of housing might be available for what kind of money. We found a great apartment with superb amenities. There were only 2 negatives. The kitchen was miniscule. (even to their drawers-only one large one and across the room, one very small one.) Since the point of our arrangement is for me to slow down and take lots better care of myself, He’s been doing the cooking and shopping for us. So if HE said He could deal with the kitchen, then why should I worry about it all the time? So what did I do/not do? First I presented our dilemma to our landlady…who could not have been more gracious and understanding. And She went me one farther, find your place and then move. Go ahead and be packing, know that God is in everything. aaah, how our God does work. .So after speaking with the landlady and getting the green light, Dennis just started packing away. We were to call the apartment people that our daughter had gone over and spoken with on Saturday and fill out an online app and overnight an application fee. But as we started to do those final thing, I was certain, that I was rushing and it wasn’t good. I looked at my husband and said the same to him. I think I shocked twenty years off of him, but as we prayed and our spirits calmed, we knew we were making the right decision. It may not seem that way for the world because in all liklihood we will lose the apartment. For us that certainty was a hard decision. but, we believe if that happens God just has something better for us.
Today I went back on my remicaid and of course it wasn’t a moment too soon. The Lord had been so good to me these last 3 months almost being off of the methotrexate and the remicaid and still not hurting as He promised! and now that I am healed of the bacteria C , it was simply time for me to go back on the medicines and my body told me so in no uncertain terms last night. So this morning I was really ready. My doctor came in and checked me and reassured himself e did not have any infections currently-but did remind me if I have a bad one come back and I have to stop again, he would want to change medications. Normally my procedures are 2 hours; this time it was 4 , they let it go in so slowly, but I did well and I am better but will not be pain free until the next one in 6 weeks.
I do ask for prayer for tomorrow though. I see a new neurologist after my comedy of errors last week. I sincerely hope he can figure things out, take me seriously and between us decide on a course of treatment and any needed testing…
It will be a long day just as today as been and I don’t have my strength back yet. Still I continue to love how our Lord brings people into my life to talk to everyday-to encourage or witness to, or just care for. Now I have a new one. her name is Sheila. Pray that I can find her steady transportation from Brooksville to Lutz every Thurs am thru May whenever the kids are out of school. She’s never been in such as study! and would love it, I am sure.
In His Name and for His Glory, I Live to Tell His Story
I hope and pray and trust that you have all read my previous post ‘Prologue Present Day’ and approve.
This week including last Sunday night has been a most difficult week in some ways and then in others, so exciting and celebratory, It was very hard to keep my mouth shut about some things, until I was sure of them. You see, when I was in that clinic a week and a half a go, I was just sitting waiting for the CBC to done and praying that I wasn’t septic. I certainly had all of the signs. And then all of a sudden, the Lord God says to me, “Cindy you will not get rid of the bacterial infections that you have until you come off of the Remicaid!” If I could have screamed out loud there, I would have! I could NOT believe that My Father who had seen me suffer so much last year when I had to be off of the medicine for 4 months, would ask me to voluntarily go off of it again. I began to “discuss” this with Him. Of course Discuss is another word for argue, and I have learned a long time ago that the Lord is going to win every argument! But STILL, this wasn’t about winning or losing or being strong in the faith, it was simple, crippling pain. And not only that the disease itself would progress unchecked and who knew what kind harm it would do?
But then my Father said the magic words ” You don’t trust me!” Oh yes, I do, my Father, I do. And He said, “I will take care of you through this”. So what does that mean? Will I have no pain? Am I healed? I don’t know. I know that two great men of God had prayed for my healing. I know that He has healed me before very miraculously and He got all the glory and honor due Him. Maybe He is going to heal me completely from RA. and/or everything else! Oh that would be a kick and maybe I wouldn’t long for heaven to be here so very soon!
Still, I did ask for confirmation from the Lord. Those were the scriptures I shared with you last week and do you know-every day since it has been one thing or another that has continued that confirmation? I do thank Him for that because TODAY I stepped out in Faith. I called my Rheumatologist and told him what God had told me, and retesting confirmed that I still have the bacteria. He said you know we have to stop everything. I said “I know. but I’ll tell you on Friday why I am not crying and panicking.” He said “Great I can’t wait to hear”. Now this is my very sweet, nicely brought up in Catholic schools all his life, Doc. But, he still hasn’t come to know my Jesus personally. I have many Catholic Christian friends as I call them, just like I have Baptist Christian friends. Your denomination means nothing to God. It is all about the relationship you have with HIM that makes the difference. So be praying that our Lord gives me all the right words to speak to my Doctor so that he knows exactly what is happening and who I am putting my faith and trust in.
So my new side job for my book, is editing the posts for length sometimes or repetitiveness. I have to write an outline of what I intend to include. I decided the only way I can do that is to go through each post. So while you may not see a lot of me for awhile, I may post something for everybody’s approvals or thoughts, but that is what I am working on.
With our world looking like it is going to hell in a hand basket lately, I’ve decided I at least need to be involved in the project that the Lord has given me-whether I finish it or not..
And now it has been a week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.
I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what I can.
the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it is September and I am starting it off the same way! And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed. Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7 yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends. (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)
Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for protection because I was going to have to confront this devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me! I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!
So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too. or I am send you to a particular blog . Numbers 23: 19-20 God is not a man, that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless; he has blessed it, and I cannot change it
Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation! The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he? And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble. I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands. I obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you. This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd. It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9 Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings. Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?
Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US. But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere, in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts we all come with —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”
So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.” I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord with all my heart is the most important thing to Him NEXT to Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and He consistently confirms it, You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing. and if I must then I will be calling on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper. He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.
Oh Beloved ones! I have tried once, twice again to write, but have just been delayed in doing so. I have to believe when that happens, I am to wait to write. My Master who knows all things may be changing the circumstances, timing, days, people who knows what?, but when He is ready, then I am ready. I have spent the last several weeks almost in a state of constant excitement and anticipation. I wake up like that and I go to bed very late because of that; I am looking and listening, reading the Word and communing with my Lord God. I went back to Philippians where I didn’t finish what I was exactly writing about. There are so many great passages in Philippians to quote from that, that is all you would get, so I am picking out the pieces of scripture in the book that mean so much to me, but I would urge you to read and study Philippians on your own as well–you might have a whole different way that means something to you that God speak to you through.
In the body of the first chapter, Paul is doing exactly what I do in bad, poor, horrible or otherwise situations: He is telling the Philippians that the fact that he is in jail is actually a good thing. It truly is, because he has shared the gospel throughout the jail and with all of the palace guard, which is probably the only way he would have been able to share. He has told everyone that he has no care for comforts-that one place is as surely good as another. Paul’s whole concentration was on spreading the gospel of Jesus Christ–just as it must be my concentration. Time is short, and yet there are so many who do not know Him! I would ask you this–at the very least you can share the Lord Jesus within your sphere of friends and family. I would hope and pray that you would do it because you loved them and because you believe the Father and Son and Holy Spirit when they say there is hell yet for those who will not be reconciled.
Then Paul gives us some very important truths starting with verse 19. A long passage so I am cherry picking the verses to write:
I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance…I will not be ashamed but will have sufficient courage and hope that Christ will be exalted whether by life or by death. For me to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am go on living, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I chose? I do not know! I desire to depart and be with Christ, but it is more necessary for you that I remain…Whatever happens…stand firm in one spirit, contending as one man for the faith of the gospel without being frightened in any way by those who oppose you. For you will be saved–and that by God. For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him.
I will stop there at the end of chapter 1. You see what I mean? There is so much for us to understand and look forward to. I think what was brought to my attention today, is to remind everyone that the time is short and running out. I too sometimes long for the everlasting arms of Jesus–to be able to be in His presence and worship and not have to stop for one thing or another. Yet I too have those who need me here. God isn’t finished with me yet. Unfortunately, He still has so much work to do on me, but I am so grateful for my salvation and my relationship with Him. I never knew you could truly have a relationship with God like this. I was told that He would speak to me through scripture, but He uses many, many more avenues than that! When He wants to talk to you and you don’t want to, it is not worth it to fight it! Because of course, The Lord God Almighty always wins at everything. But I promise that whatever His Plan is, it’s better than yours–because you can’t see the future and He can. Because He has planned your future so that you can be completely fulfilled, knowing you are loved unconditionally by the King Of the Universe.
I must address the last little phrase of the text. As I have read a lot the last week, I have noticed once again how very often Christians are suffering. At first I thought, it’s just a new church, they will get used to it. Then there was the massive pulling away from Christ altogether as we seem to be doing in America now, and certainly Europe is anything but Christian. And now in many countries people are dying for their faith or they are suffering because of that faith. In 1st Peter 4:16, Peter says if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. Oh Beloved ones! there are so many who will be shocked on that day of judgement! Proverbs 11:30-31 The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise. If the righteous receive their due on earth, how much more the ungodly and the sinner! or put another way in 1st Peter 4:18 If it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly and the sinner? We are living in interesting, exciting times. As I have said before, just look in the newspaper and look in your Bible…It’s coming…our day…but in the meantime, love people, see them as Jesus saw the-lost sheep without a shepherd. Know in your heart, that for those left behind, there truly may not be another chance. So don’t sit back, relax and read a book. Get up, get dressed, get out there! Make a difference in someone’s life -not just now, but eternally!
It has been a whole week since a post from me! Beloved ones, it is not because I wanted it that way, it was that part of the week I was really sick again with the asthma. My precious Lord told 5 people to call me that day to pray for me! I was so surprised! Each one knew I was ill, but not with what and that they were to pray and so they did. This was Tuesday. It was very difficult because I needed to work–I had made good calls the day before but Tuesday is always followup day. I had been up twice during the night to use my nebulizer 1 am and then at 5-never went back to sleep–knew my breathing was really diminished. I had called the doctor and was told to go back up to 60 mg of prednisone and keep using the neb. I did work all day but God was so good to me. He literally dropped in my lap 2 people who were great fits for 2 new searches that I had been asked to work with another associate out of Indianapolis. She is going to present them to the client on Monday and I am so glad for her! She seems to be a fine partner, thinks like I do–it’s not guaranteed that every time you get asked to do something by another team, that the relationship will be trustworthy or that you will even like one another! So I am grateful on many counts.
So let’s go back a week to Jeremiah 17:12 Notice the order here-praising and worshipping first, then requesting.
A glorious throne, exalted from the beginning is the place of our sanctuary. O Lord, the hope of Israel, all who forsake you will be put to shame. Those who turn away from you will be written in the dust because they have forsaken the Lord, the Spring of Living Water. Heal me, O Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.
Now everybody don’t get excited all at once! I have prayed for healing before now and I have been prayed for and over. I do believe that I am healed, that it may not manifest itself for awhile or while I am here on this earth. My Lord and I have done a lot of talking about my body, what’s been wrong with it all my life, what I am doing now, what I can expect in the future. I really don’t have all the answers except for this. I trust my Lord and Father God with everything that I have and I am. He uses the illnesses or attacks or crazy things I catch to put me in the right place, at the right time, to speak with a particular person-that apparently I needed to be the one to do the sharing and the reaping which is so much fun! I would rather talk about Jesus and all that He has done and is doing not just for me but for so many that I know about–than just about anything else I can think of! I do have to be careful though, there are other things to speak of than Jesus and my work I know-and I can’t be a good friend, good family member, good at anything else if I don’t pay close attention when needed and wanted.
I did want to say thank you to those 5 people who called me on Tues when I was so sick and the Lord told you to call and pray for me. I was sick and terribly afraid I was going to have to go back to the Hospital and stay again. But God honored your obedience in calling and praying and He answered by keeping me out of the hospital and I was able to work through it.
This week He made some people who have needed jobs for over a year, or wanted a particular position with a particular company, or always worked toward a company with a future and a position of authority –these people were all happy tonight this week, and today yes it is 3 in the morning. I was so privileged to be a part of all of it. It is one of the reasons I do work hard.
so I say Thank you Jesus!
I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed! Anne, Mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com has given me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!
Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them! I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.
1. Describe yourself in seven words. whew that’s hard! I am complex ! persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable
2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.
3.Whom would you like to be? ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.
4. What are you wearing now? a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers
5.What scares you? spiders and snakes
6.What are the best and the worst things about blogging? the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers. The worst thing is I never have time to read all I want to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others
7.What was the last website you looked at? LinkedIn
8. If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me. but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.
9. Slankets??? I don’t even know what they are to ask anything about them!
10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you. Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus” in a woman’s heart makes her attractive till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at http://mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com
2 http://lightof the world.wordpress.com
3 http://wingsof the wind.com
8 of dustandkings.com