CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for the ‘ADHD’ Category

THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

Posted by cindyhfrench on 09/03/2012

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”” no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, c dif, C Difficele bacteria, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy for dad, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, immune disorder, Jesus Christ, kidnapped, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, LOVE AND KISSES, mass murder, mass shootings, menningitis, miraculous healing, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, obedience, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), rhuematoid arthritis, righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Trust, Uncategorized, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments »

CONNECTIONS!!

Posted by cindyhfrench on 08/26/2012

I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!”  So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about!  Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the  very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a  man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the  midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me  about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is!  She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that,  probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with  in my life.

Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise,  starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because  now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off!  Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and  of course it makes you want to do it again, and again.  It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.

And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn.  Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her.  So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said  STOP!, just STOP!  of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time?  I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch.  I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking in my shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together.  What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that  will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.

So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.

Posted in ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, DEEP VEIN THROMBOSIS, ear infections and T tubes, fibromyalgia, Fruits of the Spirit, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, hiatal hernia spasm, Jesus Christ, menningitis, miraculous healing, pulmonary embolism, relationships, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, why Jesus had to die. | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

Ten Commandments Award

Posted by cindyhfrench on 07/05/2012

I have been honored once again–this time for an award that I didn’t even know existed!  Anne, Mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com has given  me this–at first I wondered if it was because I came off  too legalistic, too rules oriented, too in the box. But then as I read the Commandments again, the Lord spoke to me and said, no this is truly an award for she recognizes that you, like her follow a Holy, Perfect God-who wants you to be Holy and Perfect too.The great Good News is that Because of Jesus and his Saving Work on the Cross, you don’t have to worry about your lack of ability to follow my Laws perfectly. So Anne, thank you so much. I am truly honored!

Because this is a new award, the rules are a little different than usual. And I am going to follow them!  I have to answer the following 10 questions and then I have to nominate 10 blogs that I think deserve the award…so here goes.

1. Describe yourself in seven words.  whew that’s hard! I am complex !  persistent, extrovert, compassionate, facilitator, loyal, dependable

2.What keeps you up at night? well that depends on the night! sometimes it’s physical  like my asthma, or RA. Sometimes its the need to pray, because God has brought certain things or people to mind.

3.Whom would you like to be?    ME-only a little more fruitful, joy, gentleness, selfcontrol, peace, kindness, love.

4. What are you wearing now?  a sleep camisole and a pair of boxers

5.What scares you?  spiders and snakes

6.What are the best and the worst  things about blogging?    the best things are meeting so many other people who are such terrific people on the same journey as I am on. AND being able to write out  my thoughts and feelings and experiences- well they are but God puts everything in order as it comes from my fingers.     The worst  thing is I never have time to read all I want  to read, comment on all I want to comment on-just get to know others

7.What  was the last website you looked at?  LinkedIn

8. If you could change something about yourself, what  would it be?  After many conversations with God, I understand why I am made the way that I am-and I wouldn’t change any of that –because it goes against His purpose for me.  but I don’t think He’d mind me being less stubborn and hard headed.

9.  Slankets??? I don’t  even know what they are to ask anything about them!

10. Tell us something about the person who nominated you.  Oh that’s easy, in fact I could just repeat what I told her yesterday. She is a lovely, very attractive woman. But what is most attractive about her–having read her heart in her blog is her love for our Savior. This “Jesus”  in a woman’s heart makes her attractive  till she glows I believe. And of course the more you are filled with Jesus’ spirit, the more attractive one becomes… read her heart and her love for Jesus at  http://mylifeuncutalmost.wordpress.com

Ten Bloggers!!

1  http://lynleahz.com

2 http://lightof the world.wordpress.com

3 http://wingsof the wind.com

4 http://foreverpoetic.com

5 posesshispromises.wordpress.com

6. hometogo232.wordpress.com

7  settledinheaven.org

8  of dustandkings.com

9  momentumofjoy.com

10 God’spromisesarereal.com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Awards, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, ear infections and T tubes, eulogy to my dad, Father's Day, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, holiness, hysterectomy, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Praise Psalms!, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, rheumatoid eyes (dry eyes), righteousness, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »

FINISH THE QUESTIONS THAT GO WITH THE AWARD AND THEN PAY IT FORWARD

Posted by cindyhfrench on 05/29/2012

I  am to answer the next 10 questions and then list nominate at least 5 min, 10 max bloggers that I appreciate or have been especially encouraging to me. So to those bloggers you will do the same.

1.  What is my favorite color? red, but then yellow would be a very close second

2.  What is my favorite animal? my Yorkshire terrier of course!

3. What is my favorite non – alchoholic drink? well that depends on the time of the day and do I need a pick-me-up. I must have gatorade and coke zero

4. Do I prefer Facebook or Twitter? I am 60, need you ask?

5. What is your favorite pattern? small houndstooth

6. Do I prefer giving or getting presents? I love to give-I can’t take anything with me after all.

7. What is my favorite number? 13 I

? each day is my favorite because I can be sharing Jesus with someone who opens his/her heart to Him 

9. What is my favorite flower? I blue iris, yellow roses, lily of the valley

10. What is my passion? That’s easy!  To know Jesus Christ in all of His Fullness and to share that with whomever the Father brings to me. of course writing about it all is pretty obessive too.

There are some writers that probably have been given so many awards so many times I am not sure that another will fit. but each of these ladies were with me in the begining. It was their encouragement that kept me writing regardless of how I felt: Marianne http://God’sPromisesAreReal.wordpress.com ; Joyce http://joycedevivre.wordpress.com; Debra http://TellGodThankyou.wordpress.com ; Jo http://momentumofjoy.wordpress.com ; Dee http://lillies,sparrowsandgrass.wordpress.com ; Steven http://totheassemblywithlove.wordpress.com ; Rob http://settledinheaven.org

Posted in 4 spritual laws, A Thanksgiving Story, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, bankruptcy, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad, Ezinearticles.com, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Relatioships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , | 2 Comments »

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

Posted by cindyhfrench on 05/29/2012

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Apostle Paul's Missionary Journeys, aspergillus fungus, asthma, Bible study, brain tumor, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, breast cancer, breast reduction, C difficele, candidas, cervical fusions, christian, Christianity, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, Creativity, diabetes, divorce, dural arteriovenous fistulas, eulogy for dad, Ezinearticles.com, gastrointestinal reflux disease, getting validated, grandchildren, GriefShare, heart attack, hiatal hernia spasm, high school reunions, hysterectomy, immune disorder, leukemia, life stories, Life's Answers, menningitis, miscarriage, missionary journeys, mitral valve prolapse, mothers day tribute, occipital neuropathy, parietal foriminas, Prayer, psuedo tumor, pulmonary embolism, relationships, Religion, replacement pacemaker, rheumatoid arthritis, second marriages, seizures, sharing loss of loved ones, single mom, sleep apnea, Spirituality, stroke, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

A CHILD OF MY HEART

Posted by cindyhfrench on 05/21/2012

Brand new 2

Brand new 2 (Photo credit: Andreas-photography)

I was recently asked to write about my experience with adoption. I had written a little of this in an earlier post, if it sounds a little familiar. 

In  1974, I was 22 years old and had an emergency hysterectomy. I was told how fortunate I was that I was already married and had a child. But I didn’t feel very fortunate! I had wanted 3 or 4 children, now that was obviously not to be. I wasreally confused. I thought that I had done everything in the world that would make God choose to bless me. He Had with the miracle birth of our daughter who was 13 months old at the time, but I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. Oh I had so much to learn!!

 But then in January 1976, in my quiet time of the morning, He spoke to me through scripture and told me to “prepare for the child He was going to give us!” I was thrilled, excited, overwhelmed and yes, scared all at the same time. Scared because what if I was imagining this? And if it is true, how were we going to pay for it?—minor details I hadn’t worried about when I was praying my desire! Still, I did what God said to do. I prepared.

We got down the crib and the baby clothes from the attic. And I washed and ironed everything. Put the clothes and blankets away in the drawers. Had the crib all set up, made curtains for a nursery and created that room for the baby to come. I know everyone thought I was nuts, but humored me.   

 Then in April I got a phone call from a friend. She had a friend who was pregnant and wanted to give up her child for adoption. Would we be interested??  Oh yes! We would be interested I told her and explained exactly how prepared we were and would she please tell the birth mother this. It might make her feel better knowing that this child was not an accident, but planned for me.

 Our daughter was born in the early morning of August the 8th.  She came early by a couple of weeks, so I was surprised when I got the call from our attorney (who was the go between). He said your new daughter looks just like you! She has dark hair and eyes and dimples in the same place as yours! He was amazed because of course there was no matching, but here was a baby who looked more like me than my natural child (blonde/blue eyed, and tall-she does have the dimples too). And let me insert here that years later, I am 5’4 and she is 5/2 ½ while my oldest is 5’8. My natural child has a very laid back personality and goes with the flow, but the child of my heart? We are just alike! Emotional, extroverted, service oriented. She has her own story to tell of how she has arrived at 35, almost 36 a professional nanny who specializes in ADHD children and multiples; who finally got everything straight with the Lord who protected her from the moment of her conception-because He had a plan for her life; who has been on 2 mission trips in South America to share the Good News of Jesus Christ and this year will go to Haiti.

 I could tell you that raising a child of your heart is easy, but I do not lie. And unfortunately for my child, her adoptive father left and divorced me when she was 2.

I married again when she was almost 4 and my husband has been her dad for the most part. She tried very hard in her teen years to live with her adoptive Dad, but there were so many issues on both sides, that it didn’t work. When she came home again, she brought the same problems with her and I certainly hadn’t learned the lessons I needed to learn that I have learned by now. So we all struggled, but we all loved, there was never any question of that on either side. I just kept praying and holding on to God’s promises that He has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) I knew He had saved her life for a special purpose. It may be to be that all important nanny. It may be that all important person who leads a seeking heart to Jesus. I don’t know. I do know The ONE Who Holds The Future and I am convinced that nothing can separate us from Him and His plan for us and His commitment to finish the work He began in us…whatever it takes.

Posted in 4 spritual laws, ADHD, adoption, Christianity, divorce, hysterectomy, life stories, Prayer, Relatioships, Religion, second marriages, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 9 Comments »

A FATHER’S LOVE

Posted by cindyhfrench on 11/03/2009

This is a really awesome video that my brother sent me today. I have shared with my GriefShare group and they thought it was great and timely!  Click below and enjoy!

http://used2gofast.com/fll.html

Posted in ADHD, adoption, bankruptcy, breast cancer, breast reduction, cervical fusions, christian, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, divorce, GriefShare, high school reunions, hysterectomy, life stories, miscarriage, psuedo tumor, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Laurel

Posted by cindyhfrench on 10/27/2009

 As I have expressed in previous writings, we had issues with Laurel. She  was a ‘daddy’s girl” from the start. Cried for him so many times as a toddler, even when she was getting tubes in her ears! Several times! unfortunately when she reached 11, we really started having problems-withschool. We met many times with the psychiatrist as well as school officials and her teachers. No one liked giving her the medicine for ADHD. That was one problem. She was very smart and once she showed you that she could do long division or spell a word, she didn’t want to repeat the process in homework. It didn’t help that her dad was making a play for her to come live with him-lots of promises of what could be…finally I gave up when we were filing for bankruptcy with our business and I was facing breast cancer. I truly believed that they could give her the counseling and and one on one time that she needed! Of course this was the worst mistake I ever made!

Laurel went to live with them at age 12. She came back to us at 18. She finished her senior year of high school. Dennis taught her to drive, to balance a checkbook and other essential things that a child should learn to be able to become an adult.

The rest is her story…with us doing what we could and can for her!

 

Posted in ADHD, adoption, christian, divorce, life stories, sharing loss of loved ones, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

Early Tampa Years

Posted by cindyhfrench on 10/24/2009

Our first home in Tampa had a nice big swimming pool. We moved in the summer, so the kids (and the dog) were in heaven. I loved it too as I got to stay home with them, doing a little secretarial work for Dennis’ business until they moved into their office in the Westshore area.  When Dennis would come home from work, we’d all go swimming together. We had such a great time those few months.

When fall came, it was back to school for the kids. We had moved where we felt the best schools were for them, but for Laurel, it was very hard. Her class had team teaching and ADHD kids don’t do very well unless they are in a structured environment. We worked very hard with her and her teachers. I went to work as an outside sales rep for a temporary staffing company. I thought that this was the best way to get to know the city and the players and really hadn’t met anyone that did search and placement like we did in Atlanta that I wanted to work with. Very quickly I got very consumed with the job and there were many late nights filling job orders for companies to which I had sold our service.

The company sent me to Atlanta for sales training as that was their policy. And it was great sales training! My second time up there, I fell on a broken sidewalk and broke my foot. I came home in a cast and on crutches, but went right back to work. It was my left foot, so I could drive. Of course, my foot didn’t really heal well and as soon as I was out of the cast and off crutches, I re-injured it. Still, I kept working, just in the office for longer this time.

Then my neck started acting up. I had had a car accident back in 1978 in which I had cracked a vertebrae and damaged nerves in my neck as well as sustaining a concussion. Now I was starting to have regular times of just not being able to move or lift my head. I had had occasional bouts of this in Atlanta, but after physical therapy, I always got better. This time, I didn’t really get better. I saw a chiropractor-he did help me a lot more than the therapist. He was very thorough-did a blood test, blood pressure along with xrays. At 36, I had high blood pressure, high chlorestorol and high triglycerides! Well, that scared me for sure! My parents had heart issues and I certainly didn’t want to follow in their footsteps. I changed my diet significantly. I also changed my employment. That changed my blood pressure!

Of course there is more to the story! Our Melissa had fallen for one of the sons of one of the people I worked with. She was 13, he was 18. We caught her sneaking out at night to meet him and Dennis went ballistic! He had had sisters and warned me to watch her more closely,but I of course, couldn’t believe that my daughter would do that! He pulled her out of public school and put her in a private, all girl’s Catholic school. They wore uniforms and no makeup. I picked her up every day and for 6 months, she didn’t have a social life of any kind. I have to admit it worked. We didn’t have any trouble with her behavior after that!

But at work, tension between me and my co-worker was very strong. She, defending her son and his being led astray by my daughter! Dennis wanted to prosecute the boy, but we didn’t. About this time, my dad was stricken with his heart and went through his first quadruple by-pass. Seeing him like that, something in me shifted and I knew that I didn’t want to wind up like that because of a job or my  circumstances.

Dennis and I decided that I would work part time for his company-marketing to designers and architects. Having grown up in the business with my mom and then my sisters and brother, this was an easy transistion for me. I was able to help the business and work the hours I needed to, but be home for the girls.

You notice there is still no God connection in all of these years. Yes, the girls occasionally went to church as I did. But He was not an important part of our home, our decisions, our conversation. I think He was letting the rope out with me. He says that He will never let us go once we are His-and eventually He was going to pull that rope up tight!

Posted in ADHD, adoption, cervical fusions, christian, chronic pain, life stories, second marriages, Suffering loss, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

Some Major Obstacles

Posted by cindyhfrench on 10/24/2009

One of our challenges in our first house in Atlanta was a small deck and lot’s of pine trees. My husband was such a great handy man-do it yourselfer-before the HGTV stuff!

We had a big back yard and wanted a puppy for the kids and so he rented an auger-a posthole digger and proceeded to put a fence in. It was very physically taxing. I could only help with offers of water or food or occasionally moving stuff, but he did all the work. Then he proceeded to take down “extra” pine trees. He had a pulley with a chain, along with his other tools and he took down a bunch. One day while he was working outside, my daughter came rushing up and and told me to come to Dennis right away.  The pulley had broken and the cable had snapped back on his leg and torn it. He had a towel wrapped around it and was very calm, telling me I needed to take him to the ER. That was Dennis-still is-very calm when emergencies are happening! We went to the ER down the street and they cleaned him, stitched him up and gave him antibiotics. He was doing well, I thought, when a few mornings later, I saw red streaks running down his leg and I knew that meant blood poisoning. Back we went to the ER and got more meds. Again, Dennis was a lot calmer and less concerned than I was but he healed and was good to go! The next thing I knew, he was building onto our existing deck and expanding it all across the back of our house. It and he were amazing! We celebrated Laurel’s sixth birthday with all her friends on that deck. It was a lovely party because of him.

One of the hardest things we dealt with as parents was Laurel’s difficulties in school. She simply couldn’t stay in her seat! Yet she read National Geographic magazines-in the first grade! She also had a bladder problem. Her teacher suggested we take her to the pediatrician and find out what was going on. And so began our odessey to take care of Laurel…

We were referred to two doctors. The first was a pediatric neurologist. She did some testing with Laurel. After the first session, she called us and said that although there was more to do and she’d also give a written report, Laurel needed immediate help and she didn’t want to wait to give it. She ordered Ritalin for ADHD and also suggested we see a pediatric urologist. This was long before all the ADHD diagnosis’ or the use of Ritalin, but it did make an immediate impact on Laurel’s behavior and her ability to concentrate. The Ritalin also helped a bit with her bladder problems. Her brain and her body didn’t get the signals right that she had a need to go to the bathroom. With the urologist, we found out that she had a bladder the size of a pea. He operated, stretching out the bladder, which also helped, but didn’t eliminate the problem, especially at night. I must admit, this was not my finest moment as a mother! I should have found other solutions for her other than our daily unhappy, change the sheets sessions. Still with the medicine, Laurel improved greatly in school-she was/is quite intelligent and soon was bored with her studies. They put her in higher level learning classes and the education was great, but she was much too young and immature for her classmates. She was not a happy little girl…unless she was reading. She loved to read and read everything she could get her hands on! Then she’d tell you about whatever she had learned. We were always being amazed. Our only other issue with Laurel was her singing! The first time she sang, we all came running, thinking she was hurt or something. Of course, that wasn’t funny to her, but we admonished her after the 3rd or 4th time that she had to come tell us when she was going to sing. And she would! Wherever we were, whatever we were doing, she’d come and say “I’m going to sing now” and off she would go. Laurel still loves to sing!

Finally that last year in Atlanta, I changed my office hours to be home with the girls in the afternoon. I hoped that my being there would help with Laurel’s happiness and behavior. I have to admit, I was still too consumed with my responsibilities with work and spent a great deal of time on the phone instead of them…one of those things I’d definitely do over.

Posted in ADHD, adoption, christian, divorce, life stories, second marriages, single mom, surviving major health issues | Tagged: , , , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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