CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

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Posted by Cindy H French on 05/21/2012

Brand new 2

Brand new 2 (Photo credit: Andreas-photography)

I was recently asked to write about my experience with adoption. I had written a little of this in an earlier post, if it sounds a little familiar. 

In  1974, I was 22 years old and had an emergency hysterectomy. I was told how fortunate I was that I was already married and had a child. But I didn’t feel very fortunate! I had wanted 3 or 4 children, now that was obviously not to be. I wasreally confused. I thought that I had done everything in the world that would make God choose to bless me. He Had with the miracle birth of our daughter who was 13 months old at the time, but I couldn’t understand what I had done wrong. Oh I had so much to learn!!

 But then in January 1976, in my quiet time of the morning, He spoke to me through scripture and told me to “prepare for the child He was going to give us!” I was thrilled, excited, overwhelmed and yes, scared all at the same time. Scared because what if I was imagining this? And if it is true, how were we going to pay for it?—minor details I hadn’t worried about when I was praying my desire! Still, I did what God said to do. I prepared.

We got down the crib and the baby clothes from the attic. And I washed and ironed everything. Put the clothes and blankets away in the drawers. Had the crib all set up, made curtains for a nursery and created that room for the baby to come. I know everyone thought I was nuts, but humored me.   

 Then in April I got a phone call from a friend. She had a friend who was pregnant and wanted to give up her child for adoption. Would we be interested??  Oh yes! We would be interested I told her and explained exactly how prepared we were and would she please tell the birth mother this. It might make her feel better knowing that this child was not an accident, but planned for me.

 Our daughter was born in the early morning of August the 8th.  She came early by a couple of weeks, so I was surprised when I got the call from our attorney (who was the go between). He said your new daughter looks just like you! She has dark hair and eyes and dimples in the same place as yours! He was amazed because of course there was no matching, but here was a baby who looked more like me than my natural child (blonde/blue eyed, and tall-she does have the dimples too). And let me insert here that years later, I am 5’4 and she is 5/2 ½ while my oldest is 5’8. My natural child has a very laid back personality and goes with the flow, but the child of my heart? We are just alike! Emotional, extroverted, service oriented. She has her own story to tell of how she has arrived at 35, almost 36 a professional nanny who specializes in ADHD children and multiples; who finally got everything straight with the Lord who protected her from the moment of her conception-because He had a plan for her life; who has been on 2 mission trips in South America to share the Good News of Jesus Christ and this year will go to Haiti.

 I could tell you that raising a child of your heart is easy, but I do not lie. And unfortunately for my child, her adoptive father left and divorced me when she was 2.

I married again when she was almost 4 and my husband has been her dad for the most part. She tried very hard in her teen years to live with her adoptive Dad, but there were so many issues on both sides, that it didn’t work. When she came home again, she brought the same problems with her and I certainly hadn’t learned the lessons I needed to learn that I have learned by now. So we all struggled, but we all loved, there was never any question of that on either side. I just kept praying and holding on to God’s promises that He has a plan for our lives (Jeremiah 29:11) I knew He had saved her life for a special purpose. It may be to be that all important nanny. It may be that all important person who leads a seeking heart to Jesus. I don’t know. I do know The ONE Who Holds The Future and I am convinced that nothing can separate us from Him and His plan for us and His commitment to finish the work He began in us…whatever it takes.


9 Responses to “A CHILD OF MY HEART”

  1. marsha4852 said

    I think eventually you may still want to compile much of this blog into a book format. It could be a great witness of how God can and will work in a person’s life. I like the last line in your bio, “Seek the Lord while He may be found.

    Even though I believe He is available all the time, many times we are looking the wrong way.

    • oh Marsha, how kind you are to my writing! It’s certainly what my Dad wanted. And certainly what many people have said I should do. Maybe that will be possible now that I have a great friend who is my new “editor”. I send her what I write. She checks it out for run on sentences, paragraphs, where I need to bold for emphasis, etc.
      I love her to death and am absolutely thrilled that she is willing to do this.

      But of course that doesn’t apply to the archives. we will have to go through them one by one and somehow make them better more “book like” in size and form anyway. I know that I have changed so much since I started writing. I have wondered if anyone besides my editor and my daughter have noticed? Because of that, I do believe I should go back and re-write some-wherever God leads of course. The great thing about Him is that He always leads the way! All I have to do is ask! He is a wonderful, awesome, incredible God that we worship.

  2. marsha4852 said

    One of the girls that works with me has a younger sister that is adopted as is the majority of her siblings. The youngest child looks exactly like her adoptive mother. I was talking to the mom recently and she said they’ve compared baby pictures of herself and the child and they are exact. The mom also needed glasses when very young and her youngest already has them.

    Quite similar to your story. Probably there are others out there, with similar situations, kind of like it was meant to be.

    • When my son married his wife-to-be she already had a 2 year old daughter with strawberry blonde hair and fair skin just as our daughter…and when she was about 8 years old we had occasion to compare pictures of my daughter and our ‘new adopted (by my son as his own)… granddaughter…The pictures were so similar it was definitely confirmation that she was meant to be in our family…..Diane

      • Diane, I don’t think my last comment to you went thru. You know that would be interesting for me to put it out somewhere posted that I am looking for adopt ion stories might be neat to publish some or all of them for everyone to see what the Lord has done!

        I just posted. Re read it 3 times. Does it come together? I am tired and I know I need to goto bed, but had that on my heart–the rest will have to wait till tomorrow..

        Cindy French, CSAM, CPC Manager 8517 Gunn Highway Odessa, FL 33556 (cell) 813.390.8791 (Office direct dial) 813.926.9390 (corp vm) 813.264.7165 x120 (Fax) 813.968.6450 “It is impossible to have a great life unless it is a meaningful life. And it is very difficult to have a meaningful life without meaningful work.” Jim Collins “Good to Great”

      • The post is great..and it is a wonderful idea writing a blog and asking for stories that others want to share related to adopting a child…Diane

    • Yet another example of God’s perfect matching and His perfect order! It is so exciting to me to read and hear of other’s stories. That’s often why I don’t post every night. I get caught late reading and responding to others. I have a whole page of people to visit this wkend. BTW, I did take your earlier comments about publishing some day to heart. I am praying now for that special kind of help that I would need to be able to get something ready to submit to anyone. If you have read any of my older posts, I do talk about my financial state. I am not complaining just stating fact. I used to have everything. And as Paul says I count it as loss. I had to lose in order to gain, to be stripped naked so that my total dependance for anything is from Him. I am much better with my trusting now, but not where I should be-so I know more pruning and refining are coming.

  3. […] A Child of My Heart ( […]

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