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about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

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New Understanding of God’s Purposes With Us.

Posted by Cindy H French on 05/02/2012

A Wright's stained bone marrow aspirate smear ...

A Wright's stained bone marrow aspirate smear of patient with precursor B-cell acute lymphoblastic leukemia. Picture taken by me. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)


A year or more ago, my brother in law was diagnosed with leukemia. We weren’t to worry though, because it was the “old man’s leukemia” meaning old age got people usually before the leukemia did it was such a slow growing type. Well, not so in my brother in law’s case. This past few months he has been getting sicker, more fatigued and his blood counts were not progressing but slowly getting worse. Today he was told that he needs to start Chemo next week. They (the doctor, my sister and brother in law) discussed the chemo-the different kinds-the side effects, the costs-and the fact that with his blood count already so low, and starting chemo automatically lowers the count further, he will most likely need a blood transfusion pretty quickly.

Not that I do not love and adore all of my sisters, but this particular sister is the sister, whose 4 children I watched come into this world. And was there when 2 of them only 23 months old departed this world to go back to be with Jesus. This particular sister is here for me every time I am in the hospital. She never lets me stay over night alone there either. She is the person that my husband entrusts me to when we sisters go off. Of all of us six children, this sister, was the sweetest, most humble, purest of us all. We all say this! And yet, here is what she has suffered through–and watched her husband suffer and turn it inward-and back away from God-“because God could have changed things”.

I used to say that. I had years I went through my own “God mad”-I blogged about it too. but God has been teaching me some deep stuff lately. Today is all crystalized together so that I could make sense of it and be able to talk about it. So this is what I think: God’s whole purpose with us is to form us, create in us, refine us to be like HIM-to be Holy as HE is Holy. Remember we are HIS RIGHTEOUSNESS-well you don’t think He wants marred or impure righteousness! We are made to worship, to commune with Him. To ask Him what He wants us to do. And when you get on that right path and you are focused on HIM and His purpose for you and you want it too-then all you want to do it to work on it-as in working out your salvation? yes, that is a new one for me just now, just tonight. I never got that working out your salvation before, because I knew I didn’t earn my salvation, so what was there to work? Well, I’ll tell you! Plenty of hard work! and Tears and Pain and sometimes Fire-but all those things are also cleansing and is that a clue? oh I have had to do and have so much cleansing work done and refining work done, because I must be the most stubborn, want to do it myself person in the whole world. But thank God for Jesus. See, He came and died for me so that I wouldn’t have to be that person anymore. Thank you Father.

So you can see I feel like I have had a revelation of sorts. I sure that everyone else has already gotten this-I’m slow… but I’ve got it now. My purposes, my ideas, my fairy princess life–well that’s a whole different direction that the one that my Father wants me to go in… I think I am ready to commit to that direction of His wholeheartedly because His way leads to life and satisfaction. We won’t talk about where my life was going to lead me if I had let it;  if I had not CHOSEN by an ACT OF MY WILL to FOLLOW THIS ROAD-regardless of how I felt-fair or not, sick or well, wealthy or poor. Each person really does come to a crossroads in their life-I am sorry it took me so long to get to mine, to figure it out. But I think there is something in the beatitudes about blessing patience. The one thing I never had before…now I’m told I have in abundance…that’s God.

Goodnight and please pray for my family.



One Response to “New Understanding of God’s Purposes With Us.”

  1. We pray for their strength and his health. Lots to of love to all of you dear friend. Joanna

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