CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Archive for March, 2012

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/20/2012

lilies, sparrows and grass

And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper.  The ungodly are not so: but are like the chaff which the wind driveth away.” Psalm 1:3-4

In comparing the wise man with the foolish man, Jesus used the illustration of two houses: one built upon the rock, and the other upon the sand.  Contrasting the godly with the ungodly, however, King David used two profoundly disparate symbols: a tree by rivers of water, and chaff.

Why did King David compare the ungodly with chaff? Perhaps we can infer how he appraised them by considering the characteristics of chaff.

It is what remains when the grain is removed, a relic of something that was once alive. The ungodly are like husk, King David said; everything that…

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More Evidence!

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/18/2012

I am so excited! I know I blogged last year about my conversation with God about my perfect (He says) body and I think I’ve said something recently too-or maybe just in response to someone. But if you are new to my blog let me just tell you that from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, it has been fixed, repaired or taken out. Or I caught it and it liked me and decided to stay long past it’s welcome!

But last year, my Father, the God of this universe and any other, told me I was perfect! He said He formed me in the womb! Several times He said that in Isaiah-it was bad enough having to read it in the Psalms where I go for my comfort and there I read how perfectly wonderfully formed I am and how He was there when my innermost parts were knitted together…My Father has always known exactly what I was thinking-so I didn’t think it was too terrible to say out loud “I don’t think you did such a good job with me” I’m whispering now, because it is all settled, but I did say that exactly. To which my Father, my Glorious Father replied “I made you absolutely perfect”. Well then my dander got up a little cause how could He say that to someone who has been through what I have physically? I started naming my body problems starting with my little tumors on my head that no one else in the whole world has ever had. He stopped me there and said and didn’t you make a great friend who is recovering from a brain tumor-and ya’ll have a relationship because of the tumors and your understanding of how she feels? or didn’t she say that? Yes, Lord, she said that. But what about my neck? I have all the disks in my neck fused except for the top and bottom–no good at all has come out of that. In fact I had a stroke and lost my voice after that surgery-NOT the SURGEON”S FAULT!! what good came out of that? oh think back Cindy, how many people have you told about Jesus and His healing power in regards to those surgeries? OK,right again Lord. and so we went down my body- I think the next thing was my left rotator cuff–now I have to get my right one done! but there will be someone to share Jesus with. And when I had breast cancer, it never occured to me that I wouldn’t survive it-it did to my husband and family. But I had to go through that because too many women that God brings to my door have had it and it brings instant rapport..

I’m not going any further with what I’ve had wrong and what has been fixed-I think I have said enough that you get my drift–with an immunity disorder, you get everything. so I’ve had everything-just only recently found out why. but let me tell you about my evidence! That is why I had to write again tonight!

In Ephesians 1:11 many scholars  believe that the emphasis is upon knowing that WE are GOD’s INHERITANCE. (individually and collectively) I have read, heard preached, and studied enough that I thought of me (us) as Jesus’ inheritance-but of course He and the Father are one.  But this is the important part: God wants us to know what the Holy Spirit has accomplished within us-to look at the robe of righteousness that He has provided (Is 61:10) INSTEAD on constantly dwelling upon the beggar’s rags of unrighteousness that He has removed.

Now remember what I said to the Lord God about how He made me? The heavenly bridegroom answers “all beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you” Song of Songs 4:7, and “…the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect. Ezek 16:14

You know when God says something once it’s important, but when He comes back in flourishing style months later and repeats Himself even more grandly-how could you ever, ever not want to know this God who has loved you so dearly that He knows the number of hairs on your head or not! I know for me, I think it finally got through. I hope and pray that I can start speaking what I believe. I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He has made me perfect for His inheritance. He wants me at His side for all eternity…those are my truths, what about you?

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Next Week I’m GONNA BE ME AGAIN!!

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/18/2012

What could I mean by that? I mean I am going back on the Remicaid! Hallelujah! Friday morning, very early, they will start the infusion and I am so thrilled because it means I won’t be a crippled old woman anymore. It means I can live, eat, breath, sleep, work without pain. And what a miracle it is that I am getting it, because I have absolutely no antibodies from the pneumonia shot four weeks ago. My doctor can’t even believe it. But my lovely genetic immunity disorder apparently doesn’t like antibodies and it accounts for most of the immunity issue that I have, so there was no question about going back on the remicaid drug. To protect me some and make me feel better, I am now getting immunoglobulin infusions once a week. But they are no big deal-they use acupuncture needles-spread out the meds to 4 of them and have the quietest little pump. I can sit right at my desk and work and “take my medicine” literally and emotionally-although I am trying to be better with the emotions in the workplace.

It almost makes me not care about anything else that is wrong with me! honestly! But I am fortunate. I have appointments with some really good doctors Monday and Tuesday and they will tell me the good/bad news.  I know we have some surgery dates saved for the next week, but we’ll see. And I know some of you are saying but what’s up with her head?  I thought that was the main thing? Well, to a degree, it is and it was. I am still not released to drive and won’t be until I have a day and night at TGH so they can watch me and try to make me have another of whatever it was I had. And if they can’t, I am going to write it off as one of my God visits to the hospital that He said I’d have-to spread His word. And we did confirm the necessity of getting my leg veins fixed…but all they are going to do about my “growth” on my head at this point, is watch it-until I complain enough to make them do something about it.

One thing I that I thought was really important to post is my story about Revelation 3:20 I had the privilege of speaking with one of my former candidates earlier this week. I had placed her twice over a period of 10+ years and she found me again, needing my services.  I told her that I really wasn’t placing admin staff any longer but could refer to two really good services. Then we caught up a little bit. And I told her some of what God was doing in my life, she was right there with me. But God knows the heart and He had me ask her just like I ask so many others I speak with “If you were standing before God today, What would you say to Him, when He asked you why He should let you into His heaven?”  She immediately said because I was baptized when I was 9. Ok, what else? Cause I’ve been a really good person.  I waited. She said I’m embarrassed I should know the answer.  I told her there was nothing to be embarrassed about. And then asked her if I could read her a couple of scriptures that I thought would be helpful. So I read about Jesus saying He is the Way the Truth and the Life and that no one comes to the Father except through Him. I read to her about becoming a child of God-because THIS is when you become a child of the King. And lastly I read her Revelation 3:20 “Behold I stand at the door and knock if anyone hears my voice and opens the door I will come into him and will stay forever.  After I read my friend that scripture, I asked if she had ever done anything like that before at any particular time-like maybe before the baptism? but she said no, she hadn’t . And this was the kicker she didn’t know she needed to!

Oh my friends who are reading this-maybe you follow me, maybe its your first visit. If that described you and where you are with Jesus-won’t you open that door? You aren’t here by mistake. God has brought you here to hear the Truth.

And for my faithful Christian blogger friends and others on facebook that follow me, Let’s Get The Word Out!  There are too many people who just don’t know what they need to do.  Jesus said, The Great Commission was given to all of us. It’s just too late in time to be worried about what people think anymore about YOUR talking about Jesus! All you have to do is give Him your mouth and your will and He does all the rest!

Posted in 4 spritual laws, christian, chronic pain, rhuematoid arthritis, Spirituality, surviving major health issues, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | 1 Comment »

More On My Hospital Visit

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/11/2012

I do have to start this post with thanking Our Father and God Almighty for His every little care: from being on a great wing of the hospital (they aren’t all great), having wonderful nurses and techs, and for the most part all those who were administering the testing. I have to thank my dear, sweet husband who made yet another trip to the ER, rushing to get there, only to sit for hours waiting on results and direction. And how hard it must be to hear me answer that yes, I have a living will and yes, I know what it all means. No, don’t re-start my heart. No, don’t resuscitate me. Why? the doctor asked. Because I will have gone home, I answered. But he didn’t get it. Of course he wasn’t my regular doctor-they all know how I feel and so does my family.  So what an incredible surprise I had when I saw my Orlando sister walk in the door Monday at lunch time! Oh no, He (God) wasn’t going to allow me any depression or discouragement . When I complained about not being able to get up and move around to talk to people, Marilou said The Lord will bring whomever He wishes to you–and He did. Enough that I was blessed and I think the people were blessed.

Over the course of the 4 days we discovered 3 completely different issues that I was suffering from–again, because it wasn’t obvious why a seizure or what kind of seizure-all the different kinds of tests were needed and I think the fact that other conditions were found just demonstrate the sovereignty of God, to make sure I got all the care I needed.

So this next week, we start the doctor office visits. The first one is with the immunologist. We are praying for antibodies! Who would have ever thought they’d be so important to me? But if I still have some left from the pneumonia vaccine I was given, I will get permission to go back on Remicaid! Woohoo! Still, all won’t be lost if I can’t. My new RA doc told me about a triple combo of drugs they can use-in fact always used before the new drugs like Remicaid or Embrel. So at least there is some kind of treatment for the disease. How I thank God for that. I guess I still haven’t read enough about the disease to have learned enough history. And what combo of pain meds they have me on now helps a lot-until the end of the 5 or 6 hr cycle that is!

Please pray on Tuesday for my orthopedic visit. This is for a second opinion. I don’t do this very often. I get referrals for my doctors and for the most part, have utmost confidence in them. But this year, after firing my RA doctor of 10 years, and the first new RA doctor after 2 visits, I have become a little more discerning (I hope) and since it’s me that’s hurting, a little more demanding. I am afraid I have a rotator cuff problem that has been made worse by physical therapy ordered by the first doctor.  So I am taking my xrays and going to see someone else and will probably get a scan this time too as I can not lift my arm up above my head or around my back, pull the car door shut, etc.   Then on Wednesday I see my neurologist for my lovely new helmet I get to wear for the week. Pray that there is some kind of explanation! But nothing that would take my drivers license away permanently!

And then pray for whoever God is sending my way who has gone through the same thing. Pray that their hearts are prepared for His Word, His Comfort, His Love. That’s the reason I can say, thank you Jesus for this new ailment (S) Just as you’ve instructed me to thank you in all things for this is the will of the Father concerning me. But don’t let go! I am holding on with my fingernails sometimes! Thank Goodness you have a strong right arm!  I love you, my Father and I do thank you again for my care this week and for answered prayer.

Posted in Brain tumor or Epilepsy, cervical fusions, christian, chronic pain, life stories, Prayer, Religion, rheumatoid arthritis, seizures, Spirituality, stroke, surviving major health issues, systemic diseases | Tagged: , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment »

I’ve been a little busy in the hospital again…

Posted by Cindy H French on 03/11/2012

I thought that I had had everything happen to my body already! But I keep learning about the other parts we never think about! Then last Thursday, the 1st, I discovered a whole new neurological experience. It started with my legs disappearing when I got out of the tub. Luckily I found them before I fell and broke something important. My husband saw the incident though and said he thought he should drive me around for the day. I had an eye appt. My “RA” eyes again-apparently this is going to be a continuing issue-something else to pray about! and then I had a hair appt late in the afternoon. Dennis drove me over there and insisted on staying-read a book in the car the whole time.

I love going to Colleen to do my hair. She has taken care of my hair for about 20 yrs I think!  A strong Christian, single woman with a very interesting life and friends and family. I love talking with her and love her insight.  I had been telling her about my day, when all of a sudden, my whole body started shaking and my arms and legs were shaking and flying around and all I could say was Oh, MY! Look at this!  Colleen was truly freaked I think. It lasted forever and not so long, so she said-30 seconds. She wanted me to go to the ER right away, but NO, I was trying so hard to stay out of the hospital this year and I hadn’t lost consciousness or foamed at the mouth or anything. So I told her I would monitor things-let my husband know and then we’d see what to do. I knew that I had doctor appts the next day I needed to keep. Dennis drove me again. I did tell the first doctor about it. She didn’t tell me to go to the hospital. And then because once again, I messed up writing the time of an appt down, we didn’t make the 2nd appt. Saturday at the grocery store, it became very obvious that I was losing my balance. .. Not to me, but to Dennis who was afraid I would fall and break something. So instead of helping with the shopping I just held onto the basket. He had told me not to let go of it or wander off! It was like being 5 again! Then he said he was taking me to the ER the next morning. I still didn’t want to go. So I prayed and asked God to make it really clear if I needed to go or I could stay. He says He will whisper in our ear the way to go (Is 30: 21 ) As soon as I opened one eye in the morning,I knew I was in trouble. I had the worst headache I had ever had! And believe me, I have had some doozies! I told my husband to take me to the hospital immediately. He asked if he had time to clean up and pack me up, but I said no. I thought I had waited too long and had had a bleed. So off we rushed.

I do thank the Lord for things like CTscans and MRIs and all the other wonderful diagnostic equipment available to us in our world today. My best news was that I had not had a bleed.  But the scan also didn’t show any swelling or vascular growth like I had 2 years ago with the brain tumors and I know I am growing another one. You can see it on the outside, and even feel it on the outside, but apparently it’s not big enough for the MRI? Or maybe I just get to have something altogether new this time. But there is something new on my left side of my head at my crown. The doctor gave me demerol for the headache, but by then I had hurt for so long and so bad, it didn’t help a lot; I got a 2nd shot as soon as it was possible to have it. By this time, we had been waiting quite awhile for my primary care hospital doc to come check me out and he was a no show! But just as Dennis was telling the nurse we were leaving, the doc was on the other line saying he wanted to examine me before he could let me go. So up we went to the neuro floor (one of the best floors in the hospital) and I went thru the standard neuro exam which I failed. The doc said I really needed to stay for more testing, so we agreed. My husband left to go get my things, the doc wrote the orders and the nurse came in to play their million questions game.

I was seated in bed answering her questions when all of a sudden, I had another “seizure” like the first one! And I told her that!Cause I was fully aware and awake-and she had me lay back down so that I wouldn’t fall out of the bed. So much for this being an anomaly, I said. She made notes about it in the computer and then continued with her questions and then for the first time in my life, alarmed my bed! Said it was for my safety. They didn’t want me getting up by myself and falling and hurting myself or breaking something.  (later that day, I did step off the bed just for a second-and yes all the bells went off and I had 4 people in my room before I could say squat!) They even had my bed rails covered-again for my protection!

I guess I don’t need to say that at this point I was somewhat discouraged? maybe a bit depressed? I did cry out to the Lord that night and in the early mornings-they get you up several times, so you have several early mornings. I reminded Him of all of His promises that He had given me, even of that core of pain healing that I had had and now this? I didn’t understand any of it…but My Father swiftly reminded me that His ways are not my ways, His thoughts, not my thoughts. He has been hammering that home just a bit lately. He also reminded of last May when He told me that if He brought to the hospital to stay it was to do His work. So I stewed on that a bit. And then the loveliest man came into my room,one of the chaplains from the hospital. And he said Oh the Holy Spirit is in this room. I said Oh, good you are a believer! Yes ma’am he replied and we began to share one with the other. I was really able to tell him what was on my heart. When he got ready to leave he said, the hospital has us here to offer blessings to the patients, but you have been my blessing today. Now I want you to know there is absolutely nothing he could have said that would have struck my heart more. But it was like I had received a blessing-and now I did feel like I could share– if there was anybody to share with of course –because my joy was full again.

More tomorrow…

Posted in 4 spritual laws, Brain tumor or Epilepsy, Christianity, life stories, Prayer, rhuematoid arthritis, seizures, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

 
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