CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

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Asthma Again!

Posted by Cindy H French on 09/12/2010

In my last post, I mentioned my asthma in relation to going out of town, but being on my meds. Unfortunately as I came back home, the asthma got worse-to the point that I had to go into the doctor’s office to get some stronger strength prednesone. I was so glad I did. The PA didn’t like how I sounded and doubled my dose, plus giving me a steroid shot to kick start me. I came home and went right to bed and slept for 12 hours. Having a strong cough syrup and sleep meds only helped. The way you heal is to sleep. With prednesone, especially, you are lots more “hyped up”, so it is hard to sleep without help. I was probably up too much on Friday-but I was closing a deal-most important!

On Wednesday night, we were able to go to church. I hadn’t gotten to the doctor yet, so I was pushing the envelope, but didn’t sing in worship, just said the words. Still so meaningful ! Then one of our associate pastors gave the message from Matthew16:13-23. It is here that Jesus asks his disciples who people say that he is and Simon Peter tells him that to himself, He is the Christ, the Son of the Living God.  Yet just a few verses later, Peter is rebuked by Jesus when he won’t listen and agree to Jesus’ forecast of His coming time in Jerusalem and eventual death. What was interesting to me is the questions the passage raised.

Who do I say that Jesus is? Do I understand that His job is to wreck me and reconstruct me into His image? Do I recognize that I can’t manipulate Jesus? Do I have a heavenly vs an earthly perspective?   WOW, what incredible questions and not easily answered if you are thinking at all below the surface.

I have been thinking all the rest of the week on these questions and what truthful answers I can give so here goes-for me:

  • I too say that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God and my savior and king.
  • No I didn’t understand His job to wreck me and reconstruct me in His image. I mean, yes I knew about “making me more like Him, the refining, but wreck me? No, I don’t think that was in MY plan. So maybe some of the things I have been through make more sense now? I don’t know, I still have more to think on this.
  • Have I ever thought I could manipulate Jesus? I don’t know. Have I tried? Probably, as it seems it’s my nature to manipulate the circumstances or whatever to my satisfaction. Oh, how I need to have forgiveness for this one! And to be wary now of my motives in my prayers.
  • Do I have a heavenly vs an earthly perspective? You know, on this one I think that I do. I have been blue twice and survived a multitude of serious illnesses-the kind that you have to face your own mortality. Plus I work with GriefShare which is an organization that works with people who have lost loved ones…that’s in my face every week. And I end my prayers with Lord, come quickly please! and I mean it! This world is getting so wicked, it’s a wonder that God can stand us at all.

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