I mentioned in my last post that I had my last cervical fusion in 2005. It was August, I had produced enough sales in July and August to give me great billings for a year that had been very slow and difficult so far. I was driving to Atlanta when my neurosurgeon called with my MRI results. For the first time in my dealings with him, he sounded anxious and concerned. I had a disk that had herniated into the spinal cord among other things. He told me not to lift a grandchild, or anything for that matter and to walk around like I was walking on eggs! If things got worse, I could have been paralyzed! Needless to say, I was really careful that weekend!
I came back home and began to plan for the surgery. I wasn’t particularly concerned. I HAD done this twice before! The great thing about this time was already having and working from a home office–frankly, I didn’t think I’d miss a step!
I really did fine with the surgery. I remember walking around the floor that first night, but sometime during the night, I knew even as I lay asleep that I was in trouble! I couldn’t wake up! That was my last conscience thought for THREE days.
My husband found me not breathing the next morning. In a panic, he yelled for help, not remembering my living will-which was ok-but soon my room was filled with doctors and nurses and senior staff. They apparently tried a lot of things to get me to awaken once they had me breathing again. Nothing worked and I was moved to ICU. ( I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall during all this) At any rate, I spent three days on a narcaine drip, sound asleep. My husband said that they kept telling him they were doing everything possible.
When I awoke, I had been moved back to my room and to my surprise, I had no voice! Also trying to eat, I choked on everything, even liquids! Apparently I had suffered a stroke, had a paralyzed vocal cord and the little flap over my esophagus and trachea didn’t work right and so I was choking. Pretty quickly, the paralysis was diagnosed. I had a specialist who came in and showed me how to eat-with my head turned to my left shoulder and pulled down as low as I could. I could only handle soft things, or thickened liquids and I couldn’t call for help with no voice. They also hooked me up to all kinds of monitors that went off all the time, but no one ever checked. It was not a good time.
One would think I would be devastated, but honestly God was closer to me than almost any other time in my life. I have so much scripture underlined with margin notes of that time in the hospital. Nights were the worst. Dennis had to leave me to work and I couldn’t sleep much because of the meds I was on. The following are some of the scriptures and notes that I made and I cherish now.
First, there was confidence that I was going to be healed…I thought my neck…God knew my voice, mind, and eating abilities…Psalm 41:3 The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness. Aug 8, 2005.
Also I had been praying for a real hunger for His Word and the next day, God gave me Psalm 42:1-2 As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you O God. My souls thirsts for God, for the Living God. When can I go and meet with God?…little did I know that soon I would be able to only do that!
The rest of the scriptures are pretty self-explanatory-night prayers, claims for my voice, worship.
Psalm 42:8 By day the Lord directs His love, at night His song is within me-a prayer to the God of my life. 11 Put your hope in God for I will yet praise HIm, my Saviour and my God. Psalm 43:2-5 You are God my stronghold. Send forth you light and you truth , let them guide me let them bring me to your holy mountain, to the place you where you dwell. Then will I go to the altar of God, to God, my joy and my delight. I will praise you with the harp, O God, my God. Put your hope in God for will yet praise Him, my Saviour and my God.
There are so many more-but I can not write them all here. But believe me, the Psalms are a great way to get to know God.