CindyFrench-stranger than fiction stories

about facing life with hope and confidence, no matter the diagnosis

Profoundly Changed

Posted by Cindy H French on 10/29/2009

I kept my promise and got involved in a very depth Bible study. The first book we studied was Phillipians. I couldn’t imagine learning so much from that one little book-but I did. I began to share what I was learning with my husband as we walked at night. Sometimes we discussed the lessons. Eventually I started going back to church and suddenly he was getting up to go with me. We didn’t join or go to a Sunday School or small group, but at least we were worshiping every Sunday.

Sometime before all this happened, I got over my “God mad”. One day, it was as if God knocked me on the head and said, ” Cindy, if I hadn’t let him (my ex-husband) leave, you would have never met and married the love of your life-who has loved you and cherished you, raised your children-been there through thick and then. Don’t you get it?” That very day, I got down on my face before the Lord and asked forgiveness and then I claimed the verse where He says He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. Since then, it certainly seems like-with what I am learning and doing and sharing-that He is really doing that!

Sometimes I think that my body has rebelled against me and decided that every part of it should be fixed, taken out or repaired. In 1994, I had a problem with my colon and my bladder. I have to say that of all my surgeries, this was probably the worst. On top of that, my bladder went to sleep and didn’t wake up for a week (we didn’t know I was allergic to morphine and this was one of the side effects), so I had to go home with a foley! It was awful! It took me many months to recover from the surgery and all the side effects. I was blessed that I could work from home or the office and that God kept producing the placements!

During one of our regional business meetings I noticed that my hands had started swelling at the joints, were hot and very painful. The next thing I knew, I was seeing a Rhuematoidologist-a specialist in Rhuematoid Arthritis. After xrays and blood tests, I was diagnosed with one more awful thing. As it progressed, I had to learn to live with chronic pain. Some days, I couldn’t walk. I felt like I was walking on my bones in my feet. Sometimes, I just lay in bed and ached all over. It was like having the flu, but not the flu. With RA, there is a methodology to treatment. They start with the light weight stuff before going to the needles and then infusions through IV. Some meds would work for awhile then stop, some wouldn’t work at all. I can’t remember how many I have been on, but just now, the most recent drug has quit working too. What a shame for me and for the insurance company that paid such a hugh amount for my infusion. Now it’s back to the drawing board and back to the Vicodan and heating pad!

This is one of my “thorns” that God has not chosen to heal. I don’t know why-He certainly has healed me from other things-very miraculously, but not this. It certainly keeps me dependent upon Him for my every move and reminds me to pray for those in worse conditions!


One Response to “Profoundly Changed”

  1. Another of the ‘older blogs’ I read…this is where I find out that you did meet the ‘love of your life’ …
    I’m sorry for the RA that you have ..perhaps when I read further it will have been healed also…but maybe not…From what I’ve read and know so could be writing a book (maybe you have) that could be entitled ..’Something else Lord?”….or similar…you get my meaning Surely Job felt some of what your have…Diane

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