THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”" no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.

 

             

CONNECTIONS!!

I have often described myself as a conduit and truly that is what I feel like most days! What a fun, terrific feeling, knowing that My God has me meeting all of these wonderful different people. People that you just don’t walk out there and meet every day! let me see if I can describe what one connection did for me. I met Valerie who lives in London, UK on a website. We had a lovely chat there and then she called me a couple of days later and what a wonderful conversation we had. We both were trying to network and see how we could help each other. It turns out that Valerie helped me a lot more than I have helped her-at least so far. She introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC. I said, “call me!”  So Tonya did call and we had a great conversation, infact, I want to speak with her more often. She really lifts me up! That day though she told me that she had lost her dad just 3 weeks previously; so of course, I told her all about GriefShare. I had her look it while we were on the phone and pick out a meeting close to her, with a convenient day and time. She said would go to it and we agreed to talk again later. The next thing I know she is introducing me to the lovely Janet -the author and coach I have already written about!  Janet is published and does her own publishing with Ebooks too. She is one of the ones who is guiding me through my process. She has been more helpful than she knows. Most of all, she gave me validation like ya’ll do whenever you come or comment. Ms. Tonya got busy again, and this time she posted a reference for me, recommending me as a legal recruiter. And she put it in the  very special group that she belongs to–ex-white house staffers! I didn’t know she had posted anything until I got an email from a  man with the perfect background, experience and education for a search I am doing with an associate. I didn’t know where he came from-his cover letter had mentioned that his wife had given him my contact info. But this guy is in the  midwest and Ms Tonya in DC, so it couldn’t be that way. I called Tonya anyway and she told me  about the “special group” she blongs to on LinkedIn. So full steam ahead, I called the candidate who actually had some time to speak with me and I got most of questions asked. His wife also would like to send a resume, he told me but couldn’t talk now would email her resume and make an appt with me. I got her resume that night. What an incredibly accomplished, smart woman she is!  She had been an undersecretary to the UN under GW Bush and that was the last job she had with him. Before that,  probably the things she had done in the White House and the Pentagon-let’s just say I was almost speechless! That’s a biggie for me! What has been nicest of all is that everyone is a believer-truly easy to talk with and work with; another area of peace I could do with  in my life.

Now can you believe all that came from one person’s referral? But that is what happens when you truly let go and let God take over your job or your business or in my case, what we call my practice. I know it’s not “me”, knowing me or listening to me. But I do know what a kick it is when someone you have invested in time wise and caring wise,  starts saying back to you all the things you have said to them because  now they are reaching out, most people for the first time. Are they so surprised when nobody bites their hand off!  Yes, they are surprised, but now they have experienced that “rush”. I would not equate it, because that would be so wrong-but Paul even spoke about this “rush” this feeling of incredible peace, love and goodwill that comes over you when you have shared Jesus and  of course it makes you want to do it again, and again.  It works, you know, time in, time out, regardless of the industry of the moment, the state of our union and the state of the people of the United States. They can try and ban everything, but what they can not ban is in each believers’ heart–that alone is going to keep believers going during the bad, hard times coming.

And then there was another connection I made through LinkedIn.  Just someone I ran across, saw the picture and the business and God said connect with her.  So I sent out an invitation and forgot about it. She called me Monday and let me know that she had been out of town, but now was back and could we talk? I spoke with her abut 4-5 min, when all of a sudden, she loudly said  STOP!, just STOP!  of course I did, I wondered, what had I said or done wrong this time?  I should have more faith in the Master and what He is about or I would not have thought that. Here is what she said. “Can I just tell you that 2 weeks ago, I prayed –I prayed for God to send me someone to help me. Someone with wisdom, who understood my business.” She continued ” I need help in knowing what direction to go, I need to get back to God and so many other things, Are you that person? And you are a Christian too? ” I answered, “yes and yes”. Deciding that we had much more to talk about than just a nice phone conversation, we arranged to meet for lunch.  I must say, I don’t ever think I have had a 2 1/2 hr lunch before, but it was marvelous, wonderful, and amazing. For the first time, I was speaking to someone who had really done some walking in my shoes in term of her personal life and her business life. Of course I can’t go into any details except to say that there is no doubt on our parts that God Himself put us together.  What was wonderful is her immediate commitment to some times and events that  will make such a difference in her life. Follow through is everything.

So you see why I might be excited all the time? I wish I were not so wordy, I would share more incredible connections that happened the week before. But I think I have said enough that if you want the same connections and excitement over what you are doing, You have to seek the Lord first. And when you have done that and trusted Him and the blessings start to flow, you know you are on the right path-you are at peace at last-which is just what you wanted all along.

Asthma Again! But He Answers So Many Prayers Today!

Guess what happens when you get just a little big for your pants? at least that’s what my Daddy used to say to me, when I was getting a little smart mouth on me. I went back and read what I wrote last night all of which I certainly meant. But I must have been getting a little too smart mouthed for the Lord, because at 3 am I woke up coughing and wheezing like never before. I don’t wheeze. Everybody knows that. But Today August the 7th, 2012 I wheezed for hours! We tried everything but when nothing worked, we just went to the ER.  I didn’t want to get so sick that I would have to stay again. I just wanted my meds and to go home. Of course I got the doc who doesn’t understand about cough variant asthma again. He was so happy I was wheezing-that he could understand and diagnose! So I got my meds (IV Solumedrol-miracle drug) and also a breathing treatment of their special stuff I don’t have at home and after they had stuck  me a half a dozen times we were able to leave!

I am absolutely dependent upon my God for my very breath and that very breath that allows me to talk and do my work. I acknowledge that in all my words and deeds. I can do nothing without Him, but what I can do WITH  Him is amazing and wonderful to me to be used as I am. Truly tonight I am doubly blessed by what my sharing of His  Word and His Ministry did for others, because they shared it back with me. How wonderful is that!!!

The first story is from one of my candidates, an attorney  who is a believer and because of our shared faith, it has been easy to become friends. When we were first talking about the particular position, she had already had a first interview and really liked the person, already liked everything she had read and heard about the firm; but she asked me-Cindy ..”How will I know that this is the right opportunity for me?”  I told that’s easy. You turn to Isaiah 30:21 and read where  it says that God will whisper in your ear the way in which you are to go. She liked that apparently, looked it up and claimed that promise for herself.  Today she reminded me and said...”Remember when you told me???” 

Yes, I remember. Turns out she’s had this horrendous case for 4 years. Everyone including the senior partners of her firm wanted her to settle -for a $1million-but something in her just said this isn’t right. So she prayed about it and the job possibility as well and then laid down to go to sleep.  Then clear as a bell, a voice said, Don’t settle, you’ll win the case. She said,“Cindy I knew that was God’s voice telling me what to do just like you and the scripture said He would. But if you hadn’t told me that I would have thought it was my imagination and I might have settled. In the meantime, because we are preparing for court, all of the right, needed pieces are dropping in from heaven and we are going to win our case.” Of course I am very happy that she is going to win that case, but I was happier and so blessed by the fact that she would take what the Lord had said through me and do it and of course the Lord  would act-He does not lie- but my thrill was that she brought it back to me to tell me. Oh that was incredible how blessed I felt!

The second story started a couple of weeks ago. I might have mentioned in a posting that I had met someone from London who had introduced me to an attorney in Washington, DC.  This young woman and I are going to be fast friends if we ever get the chance to have a full conversation. Our first one was 15 min-but we did get a lot crammed in there. For starters the most important thing-the way that I could help her right now.  You see, she lost her dad just about 5 weeks ago now. At 3 weeks she was just like I was when I lost my dad-a mess. Even thought you know absolutely where your father is and you wouldn’t want to make him come back for any reason, you still miss him so much. Here it is 3 years later and I still miss him the same. But at least I don’t hurt like I did when I was first grieving-I couldn’t really think straight even. I was such a mess that my dear BSF (Bible Study Fellowship)  friends said you have to go to GriefShare. What is GriefShare? I had never heard of it, but dutifully I went online and found a group that met at a place and time convenient for me and I went.  Of course I went to be comforted.  I needed comfort.  What I found was hurting people who in many instances had no hope at all.  I went to all the meetings and thought why don’t we (our church) have a GriefShare Ministry? I should learn not to think thoughts like that! Because of course I wound up as a GriefShare leader for 2 1/2 years until God took me away from it because of my immunity issue.

So back to my friend. We talked about her grief and she really was barely hanging on. Oh, how I understood!  So of course I told her about GriefShare and what it had meant to me. I asked her if she were near a computer and she was. I told her to type in GriefShare.org and then her zip code and it would bring up any and all meetings close to where she lived or worked depending on what she needed to be close to. She was so surprised to find a good many. I urged her to call and make arrangement to attend. check in.  And here is my blessing: I called her tonight just to check in with her,  had to leave a message, she called me back. She was at her first GriefShare meeting and was calling me back during their break! She sounded quite happy and said she’d call me tomorrow and then she thanked me again for telling her about GriefShare.

I would love to take credit for being so good at listening and anticipating needs, but I ‘m not. Any Good Thing In Me Is God and He is the one who knows all things, knows all needs. I was once again simply the conduit that He used to do His work.  I am so privileged to be that person.

I do thank each one of you who prays for me. I can’t begin to tell you what that means to me.  Your comments, encouragement, and examples sometimes have kept me going when I just wanted to stop for a while-when I just need a little break. I am going to ask you to pray for something specific for me and my sisters this time. Women of Faith has their annual conference in Orlando in October 12-13. My Orlando sister and I have always gone to the conferences for years! We love them. This year, we’ve invited our other sisters. The youngest one has a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old and of course that means leaving them with Dad.  On a Thurs and Fri night no less.For her to come she needs his cooperation and really his desire for her to come be with us. My Philly sister I am asking tomorrow. I ask that she would want to come to this conference and that it and we would be important to her to come as she is important to us to ask to come. I know my God is big enough to handle these requests, but there’s power in numbers and I happen to know I need the power for these requests to be answered positively.

So please all of you pray I believe it could be life changing for all of us. Thank you and I love you all with the love of the Lord God.

A Tribute to My Dad re-written almost 4 years later

I am Cynthia, soon nicknamed Cindy, the first born of the Hungerford clan.  I was the first girl in several generations in the family and so a big surprise for everyone.   My dad cared for me in those first months of my life as he was finishing his PHD and my mom was working as a designer in Knoxville.  I’ve carefully read my baby book and believe that for the first time in his life my Dad experienced unconditional love with me. He wouldn’t have characterized it as such, because he didn’t know what it was nor had he experienced it aside from my mother’s love. But as I grew up and until he went to be with Jesus, Daddy and I had an understanding and a special relationship. 

I believed everything he said and tried — until my teens anyway — to do everything he wanted me to. In first grade, I told my teacher that my dad said the moon was made of green cheese. She said absolutely not! But I argued with her and got sent to the principal’s office. I explained that my dad said it—so it was true! Poor Daddy, he had to go down to the principal’s office and explain and apologize!

When Dad died, I had all these flashbacks of him and me. At six, my first Christmas I remember the handmade doll furniture for my doll. My first bike and teaching me to ride without training wheels. A Halloween parade where he made me the most a awesome tail that curled and pitchfork for my devil costume—this was before we knew any better!

When I broke my arm playing Tarzan and Jane and he ran all the red lights to get me to the hospital. The weekend trips around Texas, to San Jacinto Memorial, to New Braunsfels where I rode my first horse.

Of course in my teens things changed a lot! I wanted to be a part of the crowd. Dad didn’t want me out there at all. I seemed to get grounded all the time. When I was 15, I was grounded and had to ask him to please let me go with my boyfriend to his prom-he relented and let me go. But I had to be home by 1am and couldn’t go to the beach with everybody or have breakfast with them. I didn’t understand why? When I was 16 and had my birthday party at home and the kids started dancing—he shut it down. I was mad at him for a long time. I didn’t care that our church preached against dancing and he was a deacon—and needed to adhere to the church’s doctrines. But that was Dad-at that point in his life he was still about works and earning his salvation.

Life with my dad was not easy as a teen, but after I married my Dennis at 29, I seemed to finally grow up and when we moved toTampa in 1984, I purposed to have a closer relationship with both my parents. This led to much visiting and really getting to know my father as a person. For this, I really have to thank my husband. Because it was to him that my dad opened up. Dennis is a little older than I and studied and read quite a bit about World War II. I guess he encouraged my dad to talk, because talk he did! I would be around for some of it, but I would use that time to take my mom out to shop, do her hair, nails, etc. So Dennis would fill me in when I questioned him about the rest of the stories!   For the first time, I heard about his early life and his war years. I finally understood why he was the way he was—military straight, absolutes because of his nuclear physics education and lack of love in his home growing up. When he stood at my mom’s funeral and said  that she was the first person to love him unconditionally-he was being truthful.  I am glad that I had come to love him unconditionally long ago.  First in obedience to God‘s word, but then simply because I loved my dad and could never stay mad at him long!

After mom’s funeral, he came to stay with Dennis and me for three weeks.It was a precious time I am so thankful for now. We talked about his salvation experience and his great regrets in his life. How very much he loved his children, but couldn’t express it. How proud he was of everyone for their teaching their own children about Jesus. That we, his children were believers. That was his greatest legacy.                                          I was sent a card by one of my staff at work.  It said  “Remember that your father left the world a legacy in the good and caring person that you have grown to be. And in this time of sadness may it help comfort you to know that he is still a part of all you are and do.

I had thought to write a Father’s Day tribute, but this one which I tweaked a little from the eulogy for him is the best one I could have ever written for him. The Bible has a lot to say about Fathers. They are to honored.  We are to heed their instruction. In fact it says several times to honor and to heed. At least in the last years of his life, my dad knew I loved him-even on the day that he thought that he would lose my love if he told me his story. All I cared about was that he had a story!

The day that we cleaned out his apartment and we were on our way home coming across I-4. I was crying and praying. I asked the Lord for a sign that Mom and Dad were up there with Him and singing and dancing… I knew (or thought I knew, I was wrong) that God didn’t give signs but please God give me a sign. I need a sign so much. And just a minute or two later, here comes a little red plane buzzing by our car and then up in the sky he goes and begins to draw…a … smiley face…and then he is writing…Jesus…loves…you! well, there was my sign. How else could an airplane draw up by our car, then do draw a smiley face and write Jesus love you-right after I have asked for the sign? to read a sign in the sky, you have to be in just the right place as we were. I called all my sibs and told them. I think they were just as happy to hear this as I was to see it!

There have been a lot of changes in the family since Daddy died. My youngest sister has had 2 little boys a year apart. My oldest granddaughter has accepted the Lord Jesus into her heart.And she has a new sister who is now 3. A couple of my brothers kids have graduated high school and started college and he and wife Lesley had one more little girl  and my sister’s kids-Anna graduated college this year and Beau started this year and made DEAN’s list. Dad would have been proud.  He would have been thrilled with all the babies! He might have had a hard time interacting with children especially as he got older and couldn’t hear, but there was no one that loved having his family around more than he did.

I am better with my grieving now of course than I was even a year ago. But I still cry and I still miss him-and my momma too of course. I had no idea that they were so much my foundation–but in losing them, I found my God who said He would now be my father. He would be my Rock and my Foundation. He would provide for me, protect me, care for me, teach me all things-including trusting him implictly. Hard lesson to learn but wonderful peace to have. Not that He was not there before, but now it is only Him. I love you, Daddy.

A NEW AWARD “THE MRS. SPARKLY’S TEN COMMANDMENTS AWARD”

Well, you could really knock me over with a feather tonight when I saw this  new award. I really, really appreciate and treasure each award. For me it is telling that I am on the right track saying and doing exactly what my Father wants me to do. This week has been full of those validations. I didn’t realize that I needed them so much! But my Father knew–and made sure that I got just what I needed-just as He always does.

Last night I spoke with one of my candidates. His father had passed from this life to eternity on Saturday. I spoke with him very briefly Sunday and he had mentioned that he had thought of me when he was with his father in his last half hour of life. I didn’t quite know what to make of that. But then when we spoke yesterday he explained. You see, often when you are speaking of someone’s hopes and dreams, you speak of faith as well if it is important to the person and to him it was important.  So we had exchanged a few stories over the last 2-3 months we’ve been talking-one of them was about my dad who has also passed on. It seems our dads were alike.  We commiserated with each other a bit, but I also had told him about how I had found out 1 week before he died exactly what my dad’s story was. I asked because I was afraid that he had not story at all. Instead he had quite a story-a brilliant mind (he was a nuclear physicist) regardless of what the Bible said, he still thought he needed to earn his way into heaven –he tried for over 60 years! When I finally got him to tell me about it. He said, “I’ll tell you, but you won’t love me anymore”. You see my Dad still didn’t understand unconditional love or grace. Even after he “gave it all up” as he called it and knew that at that moment the Holy Spirit truly came into his heart-He still had a very difficult time believing that anyone would love him unless he behaved a certain way, or acted a certain-even me.  I, of course, simply put my arms around him and told him how much I loved him –that I had always loved him even when I was mad at him. I didn’t stop loving him. He still asked me if I was sure that I still loved him-because his life had been a lie and he had been a hypocrite. I just looked at him through my tears and said, “that’s why Jesus came, Daddy.”  A little over a week later, he was gone, gone to be with my mom and Jesus in heaven.

So somehow in sharing my story and maybe other stories –I never know later what we’ve talked about-just that we’ve connected. I know my candidate a little better, they know me a little better. So whatever I had shared apparently helped this young man make absolutely sure that his dad was going to make it to heaven as well.  I am in awe of a great and mighty God that puts people together to help one another-sometimes when you don’t even know you are helping–but God knows-because He knows the future and everything that is going to touch me in any way, shape or form and it’s got to be filtered through His fingers. I am comforted by that knowledge.

So now we are going to talk about the Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments Award

The “Mrs. Sparkly’s Ten Commandments Award” has to do with a woman of the same name, known for being very elegant and having high expectations, and who is committed to maintaining integrity, good manners and behavior, as well as a rich sense of humor. I have been told  that I am elegant. I have been told that I have too high expectations of me and others. I have been told that I have integrity, good manners, and good behavior (thank you, Mama) But I don’t know about the rich sense of humor. I often don’t get the jokes. I do take things too seriously even when people are trying to ‘lighten up’. But I am trying to be better and ‘lighter about everything’. So again, I am grateful for the award and will try to live up to its name and keep its commandments.

 

RULES:
The rules for this award are that you must answer the following ten questions and nominate five-ten blogs that you think deserve the award.

 

 

1. Describe yourself in seven words.

 

Christ follower, Bible Student, Wife, Mother, and Mimi (grandmother0 

 

2. What keeps you up at night?

sometimes it’s God telling me to pray for something specifically, sometimes it’s reading too many blogs, sometimes, its writing too late., sometimes it’s my asthma.

 

 

3. Whom would you like to be?

 

Me. I am finally satisfied and at peace with who I am, and what my “perfect” body  is to God

 

4. What are you wearing now?

 

Jeans and a knit top my daughter gave me

 

5. What scares you?

 

is not standing up for my God and Savior enough or if it meant my life-could I do it-like others are having to do in the world today.  I used to be scared of dying of an asthma attack but the Lord cured me of that!

 

6. What are the best and worst things about blogging?

 

the best- is reading what God puts into the minds and hearts of others that so reasonates with me, that you form true bonds, friendship, love and caring for these people you haven’t physically met, but that doesn’t matter because you KNOW them. the worst thing is not having enough time to read all the blogs I want to read. I could read 24/7 for a week I think and still only mabe make a dent.

 

7. What was the last website you looked at?

 

One of my client’s websites

 

8. If you could change one thing about yourself what would it be?

 

I would not talk so much

 

 

9. Slankets, yes or no

 

No….if  Diane said no, then I’ll say no.

 

10. She is absolutely so loving and giving. She is always concerned about the other person-not herself. I am not surprised that she is constantly be awarded  because she is such a dear, sweet, giving person. She listens, if she can help fix something she does-she’s the best editor I’ve ever had. I love her. She’s Diane and would you all join with me in tell her to put up the website called writerwannabe…because she already is, right???

 

 

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

More Answers!

I saw my wonderful primary  care doc last week and filled her in on my life the last month or so. She had to keep the lights low, I thought I might have pink eye or that maybe the candida infection had gotten into my eyes. They hurt, were very gritty, like stuff was in them. She was very concerned that I could not get into my ophthalmologist until this week and when I told her of the trouble I was having getting in to see the infectious diseases doc-she said, “stay right here, I’ll take care of it”.  And take care of it she did! I had an appointment with the eye doctor the next morning (most important) and then an appointment with infectious diseases the next Tuesday, early morning. Wow! what having a doc on your side does! She also changed the oral med I was taking for the mouth and lip sores since I had had no healing there at all and she told me to be sure that she got feedback from the docs on my visits.

Between then and now (the 29th) these are the scriptures the Lord has given to me–and how I have needed them!  Grace-Filled Waiting- 2 Cor 4:4-18 We do not lose heart and Yet Will I Rejoice- Habakkuk 3:11-19 Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation.  So here is what happened at the doctors-

I saw the ophthalmologist the next morning and truthfully, I don’t think I have ever had such a thorough exam! The first thing he said was-the good news is you don’t have an infection. The bad news is you have the dryest eyes I have ever seen since I have been practicing. This is why you hurt. I couldn’t believe that dry eyes would do that-and I had even had the surgery to help with dry eyes, so how could this be? He said is was all because of my rheumatoid arthritis. I couldn’t believe it-how could it affect my eyes? but he said it was and went on to say there were probably other areas of my body that were being attacked as well. I needed to see my Rheumatoidologist. I told him about the candida and that I was seeing an infectious diseases specialist on the next Tues and he said he’d get all the info on what he had done and ordered to her. In the meantime, he gave me 2 prescriptions for eyedrops-each 4 times/day and in between those times I was to use over the counter tears. AND then he gave me a prescription for several blood tests!  I was shocked! I have never had that happen either.

Needless to say by the time we finally saw the doc on that Tues, she had a lot of information about me. What was amazing was that she had already  read it. Then the second amazing thing happened. She said my major problem is that I have no immunity and that will get me killed. Right now, that is her first concern-to build me up. So she began to ask me what I did, what’s my stress level (ha), extra curricular activities, etc. I was downplaying it, but remember my sister was with me and spoke right up! The hardest thing for me to give up and what I can’t understand the Lord’s way in this is GriefShare. I also have to stop working at night, rest during the day-in fact rest as much as I can any place, any where, any time that I can. She said I really need to be aware of my surroundings at all times because that’s when triggers can strike and right now my goal should be NO ATTACKS–that way, no presnesdone or solu-medrol gets into my body. So I am really praying that I am attack free.

I have no idea how long I need to be so careful, but I am going to have to take the 3 drugs probably for the rest of my life and even if/when I get my immunity built up-no one is going to want to mess with it by giving me asthma drugs unless it is life and death again. Oh what a place to be in! Well I do trust the team I have now. I believe they can and will work together. So my part will be to pray and to rest and to rely on my God-no stress, remember?

My Eulogy at My Dad’s Funeral

I  am Cindy, Dad’s first born child. I was also the first Hungerford girl in many generations. I guess as the first born, I had a special connection with Dad. He was my first love and god all rolled up into one for me from my first memories.

I believed everything he said and tried — until my teens anyway — to do everything he wanted me to. In first grade, I told my teacher that my dad said the moon was made of green cheese. She said absolutely not! But I argued with her and got sent to the principal’s office. I explained that my dad said it—so it was true! Poor Daddy, he had to go down to the principal’s office and explain and apologize!

When Dad died, I had all these flashbacks of him and me. At six, my first Christmas I remember the handmade doll furniture for my doll. My first bike and teaching me to ride without training wheels. A Halloween parade where he made me the most a awesome tail that curled and pitchfork for my devil costume—this was before we knew any better!

When I broke my arm playing Tarzan and Jane and he ran all the red lights to get me to the hospital. The weekend trips aroundTexas, to San Jacinto Memorial, to New Braunsfels where I rode my first horse.

Of course in my teens things changed a lot! I wanted to be a part of the crowd. Dad didn’t want me out there at all. I seemed to get grounded all the time. When I was 15, I was grounded and had to ask him to please let me go with my boyfriend to his prom-he relented and let me go. When I was 16 and had my birthday party at home and the kids started dancing—he shut it down. I was mad at him for a long time. I didn’t care that our church preached against dancing and he was a deacon—and needed to adhere to the church’s doctrines. But that was Dad-at that point in his life he was still about works and earning his salvation.

Life with my dad was not easy as a teen, but after I married my Dennis at 29, I seemed to finally grow up and when we moved toTampa in 1984, I purposed to have a closer relationship with both my parents. This led to much visiting and really getting to know my father as a person. For the first time, I heard about his early life and his war years. I finally understood why he was the way he was—military straight, absolutes because of his nuclear physics education and lack of love in his home growing up. When he stood here and told ya’ll a month ago that my mom was the first person to love him unconditionally-he was being truthful.  I am glad that I had come to love him unconditionally long ago.

After mom’s funeral last month, he came to stay with Dennis and me for three weeks.

It was a precious time I am so thankful for now. We talked about his salvation experience and his great regrets in his life. How very much he loved his children, but couldn’t express it. How proud he was of everyone for their teaching their own children about Jesus. That we, his children were believers. That was his greatest legacy.

I was sent a card by one of my staff at work.

It said  “Remember that your father left the world a legacy in the good and caring person that you have grown to be. And in this time of sadness may it help to comfort you to know that he is still a part of all you are and do.

 

I found this today searching through my files for another lost file. The 3rd anniversary of Dad’s  death is coming up soon. December 14th. Mom had died 5 weeks previously on Nov 5. You know, there is not a day that goes by that I don’t miss them both so much! They prayed for me, supported me unconditionally, loved me and my associate was right, they taught me about Jesus.  I”m sure they nor I had any idea how much a person could change–as I have, but I hope that Jesus has told them. And I know my Mom is happy that I finally “get it” that Bible study is the most important thing you can do-along with praying-if you want to know, really know Our Great God, Our Father, Our Creator, Our Savior who hides us in the cleft of the rock, covers us with His feathers, holds us in the palm of His hand and will never, ever let us go.

Answered Prayers

Deuteronomy 4:7 (Moses is speaking) What other nation is so great as to have their gods near  them the way the Lord our God is near us when we pray to him. (At that time, the Lord traveled in a cloud by day and a fire at night above the Israelites. Kept them cool, kept them warm, and protected them)

IPeter 3:12 For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their prayer…

 I had to talk about answered prayer tonight, because this week I say the Father answered my prayers-not all of them yet-but biggies with deadlines. When the others come to their deadlines, I am confident that He will have answered them.

I have a brother in law with a particularly slow growing leukemia-only last month it had taken off and the doctor was suddenly talking chemo. We prayed for the Lord’s will in this and He chose to stop it in it’s tracks! The blood looked good.                         

Then one of my sisters called and asked me to pray especially for her today because she had a big presentation that meant a huge sale for her company and a good commission for her. I prayed that she would have a clear mind, and clear speech, that the presentation would be all that she wanted it to be and that God would grace her with success. She called at 5 today to say it had gone so well and she had used one of my closing  questions to close.

Then another sister called. We had prayed long and hard about her mind accepting the math of real estate and the laws and ethics of real estate because she is taking the course right now and really needs to pass it. And as of Tuesday, she was batting zero. That’s why we prayed. I know that God listens and I know that He looks at our hearts as we are praying-He knows our motives. She is doing this to help support her family, what better, higher motive? And so as we went to His throne with confidence-the confidence that Christ gives us, we worshipped our Lord first as He deserves. He is our Creator, the maker of all things. Psalms 148 says “Let everything praise the Lord”–that includes inanimate objects, it includes everything He has made because ALL things, believe it or not make sound in some way and that sound is praise back to Him. So if objects can and do praise Him, then we are able to communicate in so many ways can do no less-everytime we think about it! We should praise Him, but I digress. I was talking about prayer. So after we worshipped our Lord and thanked Him for our every blessing, then we began to petition Him for brain power, for clear thinking and reasoning, for whatever it would take to pass the next 2 tests. So of course, when she called tonight to tell me that she had passed the first one, all I could do was say “thank you Lord, You are so good, Lord, Praise the Lord”. It was awesome! And we got praise reports on things we had been praying for in our Bible study group today, so I was pretty hyped when I went to my GriefShare group tonight.

I can’t really talk about what happens in group except to say the breakthroughs are happening. I see God answering my prayers for these suffering people and tonight was asked why did I know the answers in the Bible like I do?-it comes from studying His Word, I told them. It’s not like Sunday School-until you’ve done it, it’s hard to explain to another exactly what happens to you when you give yourself to study–but I know it changes you, you see more of what God needs to change in you–what you want God to change in you. For me, it’s the most important thing I do all week-because it is my time alone with God and believe me, He makes good use of it! Secondly, it’s Sunday church. I love it for the worship and the teaching. A lot of the time it confirms again in my heart and spirit what God has just taught me, so I know it’s not just me making that up!

For those of you reading this, if you aren’t in a Bible study but really want to know the Lord better–this is the way! and besides, imagine meeting all of the writers in heaven some day and you’ve never read their book!

God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text.  The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord?  Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer!  Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone  there will almost be instant rapport because you and  that person or their loved one has gone through  the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!