AND ALL THINGS CAN BE NEW AGAIN!!!

As of today, May 1, I am employed by World Bridge Partners out of Omaha Nebraska, by a franchisee of  MRI NETWORK  that I have known for 25 years.  This is a person that I highly regard both personally and spiritually and professionally. It was just a month ago that he and I were renewing our acquaintance as he asked for my help in mentoring his son in legal recruiting. I spent the next day working with a young man who soaked up everything I said like a sponge and asked the most intelligent  questions!  Once I gave him a partner level candidate, he also wrote the most beautiful script I’ve ever  read about a candidate and I told him to start making calls on the candidate’s behalf the next day. He called almost in a panic after just a couple of hours of calls. He was getting responses within 10 minutes of his calls-wanting more information, a resume or an interview-and what should he do next? WOW  Thank goodness it was a Friday! It gave me time to get with my candidate and tell him who was interested in his bio/no name/no firm so who might he want to speak with? He chose to do his due diligence over the weekend and first thing on Monday, I knew who he wanted to see. Now he is going forward in the process and we are very excited about that as my young friend had not gotten so far in a year; nor did he realize that corporate contracts are to be negotiated on both sides, including payment terms. I am of course, thrilled to be able to bring anything to the table. This will be a win/win/win for everyone. More than just helping mentor this young man, I began to see a well run franchise that had made it through the recession, still took good care of its recruiters-in fact valued them-and I began to ask the Lord, “Have you brought them to my attention for a reason? Am I supposed to ask for a job?” 

 You all know I have been studying the book of Genesis this year in BSF. Just lately we have been studying the life of Joseph. Sold by his brothers into slavery, into Potiphar’s house where he rose to the role of managing the household, and then thrown into prison after being unjustly accused by Potiphar’s wife of attempted rape, he rose again to oversee the prison under the warden. Those two jobs prepared him for the number 2 job under Pharaoh that he would have after he interpreted Pharaoh’s dream’s by the grace of God. Last week when I had determined that it was ok for me to ask for a job with this man and we began to talk of what might could be–oh my goodness–did I begin to see parallels!  For the very first time, I actually thought that my desert, my pruning, my fire, my refining, might not all be about discipline and getting me ready for heaven, but ready for something else God wants me to do here! 

WOW!! How GREAT is that at almost 62!! and having had a stroke even a mini one just 45 days ago, even if it wasn’t my fault? Because as you all have been with me on this journey, you know that I have found out that material things are nice, but not important unless it’s matter of keeping warm or comfortably cool or medical bills paid, medicine paid for, basic groceries paid for. I am no longer about all the stuff I accumulated. it’s long gone and I don’t have any room for it in my life or my place any more. What’s more important is what decision I have made in an action and has it damaged my witness? Cause I am far from perfect, but that is so important. I do not want Jesus Christ to be ashamed of me. Anyway this is going to make a huge difference in my life–already has. I have real hope about our circumstances going forward. I know the Lord can and does and did provide miracles every month but goodness, gracious, that’s hard on a body, on two people just striving as best they could! I know He expects people who can to work and so I am-doing what He has given to me to do. Just this time, I have those basics that most employed people expect-benefits, expenses, a more than generous draw. I have to tell you that when he made the offer, the scripture running through my head was how ”He is able to  abundantly supply more than we ask, or expect or even dream of.”  I can only say that because I have almost  learned to live on a minimum wage draw. Now OF COURSE everything wasn’t getting paid on time or at all, but we were alive, had enough to eat, power, gas in the one car, a credit card paid for that. Now everyone can get caught up for which I am so very VERY  thankful! I don’t like owing good people money, so now I can start to take care of that.

Thank the Lord for the people in my church that have kept me with health insurance–again, the Lord has been ever so close through all of this time. I thank Him and all of those who have helped us. Once we are back on our feet,  we can go back to helping others as we used to do. Thank you for all of your prayers for this also. I know you were also praying for a miracle for me and IT HAS HAPPENED!

God Bless and Good night–

Cindy

SUNDAY NIGHT, HOME, MY SINCERE THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS ONCE AGAIN

Once again,  I found myself in the hospital ER on Thursday afternoon. I had gone in for my simple physical therapy session this week, but this time, I was put on a bike. It wasn’t a regular bike, I was leaning back on the backrest, very comfortable, not even hurting my knees. The clock turned over 8 minutes and I began to have just a little pain on my left side up under my breast. I really didn’t pay attention at first, but then it got worse it enough to really call my attention to it and and I must have rubbed it. My therapist said “what’s the matter?” I told her I had a little pain in my left chest. She had me stop cycling at once and took me over to a chair and took my blood pressure and  oxygen levels.  I don’t think they were that bad,  but by then the pain had gone down my arm with lots of tingling and piyns and needles in my hand that I just couldn’t shake off.  When that happened she got help and a wheelchair and away we went to the ER. They treated it like a heart attack, but I don’t think that’s what it was-heart spasms is what I have heard so far with EEG changes the 3 different times I had them.  Since there were already questions about what my heart is doing these days ( I have 30 day event monitor I was already wearing) the doc decided a stress test would be a good thing to have-the following morning-so the night in the hospital and my email to Diane to ask for your prayers that there was no blockage.  The doctor was sure that’s what it was. It even sounded like it to me, based on what my daddy had been through several times and had stents put in after 2 quadruple by-passes.  But thanks to your prayers and  to God‘s purpose, that was not why I was in the hospital that night.

 I was on the phone with my sister (yes, that one) We were praying. The young person who was to take me up my room arrived in the middle of it and I raised up my finger signaling-just a minute-he nodded and waited respectfully. When we were done and he had helped me into the chair and we were rolling along, I thanked him for waiting and explained you don’t just “hang up” on the Lord.  He nodded and me I guess I was still really in the Spirit, because I looked at him and I asked him if he knew Jesus. He got me on the elevator and said, “Do you mean am I saved?  No, ma’am, I don’t know Jesus.  But I have been thinking a lot about it for quite awhile months- thinking hard on it.  By this time we had arrived at my room. I asked his name and asked if I could tell him a story- just take a few minutes. He agreed  and I told him about when the Lord Himself  had met me at the moment of my need to breathe without panic and fear on May 5, 2011. Then I asked him by name, don’t you want Jesus for yourself today? He looked at me and said yes, ma’am  I do.  I asked again, do you want to pray to receive Jesus into your heart right now?  He said he did, so I asked him to give me his hand and I would lead him in prayer. ..Once he had gone I of course knew why I was visiting the hospital that night!! Still as I shared the news with my family, everyone’s response was great, but couldn’t the Lord send you there for something less serious, less painful…why this way at all??

My only answer can be that whatever I have to go through for Jesus’ sake is so far below anything that can be considered or compared with what HE did for me is minor -even if it is major to us. There were so many people to give His word to, from the one who wanted to know if I have a Living Will (I do), each  nurse or tech-there were so many people to tell a story to.

I didn’t get a chance to write what has been on my heart since last Thursday. The Lord has been exceedingly gracious in speaking to me. Not just Thursday morning during my  devotions but also during my dreams Thursday night which were confirmed again in the sermon in church this morning. So ya’ll will have to keep coming back! I told you life with me was never boring!!

Goodnight

 

MY STORY IS BLESSING PEOPLE IN DUNWOODY,GA wi -SO SAYS MY HAIRDRESSER!!

  I bet that title got you going, didn’t it?  It shocked me today when I sat down in my hairdresser‘s chair for only the 2nd time, because that was how she greeted me!  She didn’t know that I had had another little stroke on the 15th of March or all the things that God has done for me in between. I am so overwhelmed I am typing with tears running down my cheeks,  when I think of this past several weeks. Some of you know that I am a recruiter and a good one by the grace of God, but sometimes things don’t go your way-not my way, but God’s way is the way it has to go and that kept me from making enough money to pay our basic bills.  I guess I finally had to realize that whatever I have comes from Him our Holy Father and not from what I do-even though I thought I knew that-had already learned that lesson, time and time again. This  time I literally could not make a deal happen for anything and this was the worst of times: I had just moved to a new city expected  really great things coming “back home” if anyone really does that. And then I woke up on March 15th with my left side frozen and unable to communicate with my husband to even help people understand where the new doctors I have were. You’ve read that story, but what happens when you come home from the hospital and you have to see all the doctors and do all the physical therapy and it only seems to make you hurt worse? On top of that you have to get back to work, those bills didn’t stop coming in and now more are coming! What can anyone do? I do what I always do, I put my head down to the ground and I go to my Heavenly Father. He is all I’ve got. Now don’t mistake my meaning here. I have a wonderful husband (Mr Wonderful) and wonderful daughters and son and grand girls. but my Heavenly Father, HE IS IT.  He is the only one who can solve my problems, give me peace, show me what to do next.  And the Lord did tell me just what to do next, which I did and I can tell you that my most pressing need-my health insurance policy payment- is paid through June. I simply could not believe the news when I got it but again, overwhelming gratitude doesn’t begin to cover the feelings. There were others in my own family who saw a specific need and just handled it-so many different people contributing to the whole. And some of you are wondering where did she get the money for her haircut? I got an insurance check yesterday. I found out that you can have supplemental insurance to cover you for the number of days you are in the hospital through AARP/UNITED HEALTH. I wish I had known about it a lot sooner!! But I got a little check  and so here I was sitting in Jennifer’s chair.

Jennifer is also a believer-well I guess  that is obvious- but I didn’t know it when I sat in her chair the first time.  I had looked at everyone’s website within a reasonable driving distance that had a salon when I first moved to town. I was really anxious about choosing a new hairdresser.  My hairdresser from Tampa had taken care of me for about 20 years!  She had become a confidant and friend. I had no illusions about replacing her, I just wanted a decent haircut and hopefully highlights if they didn’t cost me  a week’s groceries. I  looked and looked and then I read Jennifer’s story. She is a 3rd generation stylist-she really loves her work but there was just something special in the way that she wrote about herself that made me call. She couldn’t even take me for like 3 weeks I think, but for some reason, I waited. The day arrived; I had my directions; I started off in plenty of time. I still couldn’t find the salon! They were tucked into the corner of a large shopping center and she had to direct me there when I finally called! I hate being late-even 5 or 10 minutes-but she was so nice, put me right at ease and you know how it is, you just start chatting and when you are me, you talk about things that are on your heart, are important to you, like the Lord Jesus! Oh was she happy and then we were just off to the races! We were sharing stories back and forth and of course I told her some of my special ones.  She told me when I was there then and again today that she always knows when somebody is in her chair that is just supposed to be there and that it is a “God Thing” not to let go of it until everyone is satisfied. And that means with just the sharing or the helping or the whatever.  So I came in using my jazzy cane today and she asked about that and I told her what had happened to me in March. That’s when she told me that my stories were blessing people all over Dunwoody-that she had been sharing then with her clients and her clients were blessed by the story. Isn’t that amazing? Somebody else telling my story and people still getting a blessing? Oh that is such a God thing!!

So I have opened up my heart raw tonight ya’ll not cry poor mouth, but to show you that we all can wind up in serious consequences, not through our own doing and we can not look down on that person or badmouth that person or whatever else you might be inclined to do. My circumstances come from catastrophic health incidents that both my husband and I suffered within 19 months of one another. I have been fortunate enough to have had a job, a passion, a career that I can do with a phone and a computer wherever I am.  He was not so fortunate. His heart was badly damaged which I have also written of before, but it didn’t keep him from being Mr. Wonderful, it just keep him from being employed.  My job, career, passion is always just a deal away from breaking even again.  And that part, thankfully is not up to me, it’s up to God.

A New Award That I Don’t Deserve!

Very Inspiring Award

This award was given to me in January!!! I was thrilled and wrote what you see below. The only problem was doing the the rules that go along side of the award. So I thought I would just save it for a day or so till I felt better and as you all know, things got only crazier. Until I was going through the dashboard last night and cleaning up a bit, did I find this sweet award from my dear Cheryl (please forgive me) so here it is Cheryl. Thank you so much. You also inspire me!

“Cindy, I nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award because you know what trials and tribulations are about, and still you glorify the Lord. You have no idea, but as I have been suffering with chronic (constant) back and leg pain, your testimonies have been an encouragement and an inspiration for me. I think to myself, “If God can do that for her, He can surely do it for me too.” Thank you Cindy!”

Let me tell you why I don’t deserve this award or even an award for when I was in the hospital with meningitis. I have so tired of hurting! and so tired of hospitals! and blood tests, xrays, MRIs, any and all thing that test a person in some way!!I know I have to do my blood test in the morning. I have put it off the last 2 days. No reason, just didn’t think about it till I’d had coffee with a lot cream, etc. Pretty much since I came home from Atlanta, I have been sidelined with this sciatica-and oh yes! have I complained! Loudly and long to the Lord and my husband had heard it! I still have leftover issues from the meningitis. I didn’t know that it could mess with you cognitive abilities-certainly not for so long, but now that I have spoken to other survivors, I’ve found that this is pretty common. One of my nurse friends today urged me to see my doctor. So I will this Friday-when I had been considering canceling it since I have a new deductible to cover! This is one of those ‘keep you posted kind of things’

So you can see for yourself  how undeserving I am  and yet, exactly why our Lord allows the suffering-so that I will understand completely and utterly the suffering of the other person. I need to learn to keep my mouth shut and just bear it-but sometimes like this time it was too hard. Cheryl, I should have shared it and then you would have shared also and maybe there are others who suffer in the same way? I intend to find a solution. I hurt too much to live like this for long..much less 102!! what are you thinking? Besides our Lord Jesus is coming back before then. I am sure of that.  So here it is April instead of January and again so much has happened. The Lord is still teaching me, I am still learning. He is still bringing people to me to share with and that is exciting. The more people who come into the Kingdom of God the faster we bring Jesus to get us! And with the headlines as they are, it can not be too soon.

OK  enough, here’s for fun!

Acknowledge person who has given you the Award.  Miss Cheryl “Burningfireshutupinmybones”

The Award logo should be placed in the post.  it is

I have to include 7 things about myself  what don’t you know?                                                                                                                                                   1 I spent a couple of summers on a real farm-my grandma’s she raised cotton and tobacco
2  I’m not ready for grey hair/can you tell?                                                                                                                                                                                       3  I have to watch my mobile minutes super close every month and just barely make it!                                                                                                    4  I am the oldest of 6, being 17 when the youngest was born, a unique perspective                                                                                                                    5  I don’t like chocolate by itself-Great with p’nut butter though!                                                                                                                                                     6  My husband has spoiled me rotten-he takes such great care of me                                                                                                                                               7  Unless you’ve gone back into the archives, you don’t know that I used to be a ‘wild woman” loved fast roller coasters, fast dancing, would  have loved bungy jumping if they had invented it before my neck had to be fused. I was always the kid you didn’t dare.                                                                                                              

Nominate (although 15 is suggested I will nominate 8 as I have nominated several previously, but it’s been awhile since I did this, so these are people that lately have inspired me…in no particular order

http://TotheAssemblywithLove.wordpress.com, http://VesselofGod.wordpress.com,http://mychristiancoffeehouse.wordpress.com, http://possesshispromises.wordpress.com,http://aviesplace.wordpress.com,http://tellGodthankyou.wordpress.com,http://lilliessparrows&grass.wordpress.com, http://forhisgloryandpraise.wordpress.com

   The nominees should be advised on their site.

 

MR. WONDERFUL

I do praise my husband! I think he is God‘s gift to me-and certainly the other half of my heart! There is nothing that he has not done for me! And I do mean nothing! From taking care of me physically after surgeries and sicknesses to what he does in our home in care of that and all that goes with it, I am amazed and forever grateful. And now as we start on a new chapter in our lives, moving back home to Atlanta, he again has taken the brunt of the responsibilities in the packing and arranging for the move. What a very long month this has been for him! I know he is going to be so glad when we arrive on the 31st to family who have made arrangements for professional movers to unload us and as they will be there to help us unpack and settle in-at least the greatest physical part of his job will be over.  Then starts his

Cindy/honey-do tasks as he calls them where he hangs pictures and draperies and fixes hooks in closets and whatever else he can find to make this a comfortable home. Yes, I would call him, Mr. Wonderful.

 

I wrote that in January and here is it the first of April and if it were the thing to do I would take pictures to show you the home God has given us!  It is amazing because

Mr. Wonderful has been at it again. He hasn’t stopped as he has figured out how to make the best use of the space we have-sometimes I see pure genius at work. My sister visited recently and was amazed at how everything fit so well and was so cozy. I think I have already said how much I like everything!

 

And now as he had tenderly cared for me after this latest stroke—was so loving and patient with me because I was slow in the beginning, but now I am SO much better. I know that our Lord is answering our prayers, prayers of all of you as well, and I do thank you from the bottom of my heart. God wants us to pray. He had Jesus Himself show us how to pray and we have Jesus as an example of how important prayer is –so don’t let that part of your life ever go!

But tonight I am thanking God for MY MR.WONDERFUL

GOD SPEAKS!!!

I was listening to a sermon online tonight from Palm Sunday. I was visiting the church site to see who and what they were about as you really couldn’t tell from the name. but oh, how I got blessed by all the reading I did and then the listening I did to the sermon…

There was one big important principle: “When God speaks, He really means what He says!” Let me give you an example:

Genesis 1:1…27   In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was dark and formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. God SAID let there be light, and there WAS light…And God SAID let there be an expanse between  the waters to separate the water under the expanse from the water above it. AND IT WAS SO…God SAID let the water under the sky be gathered to one place and let dry ground appear. AND IT WAS SO…Then God SAID Let the land produce vegetation: seed bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their kinds. And God SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.

Are you getting the picture here? God speaks and He really means it. Of course from there He went on to personally hang the moon and the sun and put the stars out one by one. He knows them all by name and they make music back to him. I know I blogged about that a couple of years ago (see Psalms 148) And after the sun and the moon, here comes the creatures, flying, crawling, racing, thumping, scampering, even, slithering, or just moseying along like cattle do. And finally here is the sixth day. Only He can do it justice:

God said, “Let us make man in our image in our likeness…So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Do you notice  that the fact that we are created in His own image is apparently so very important that God repeated TWICE? He created us to be a reflection of Him! Of course I could get on my platform and talk about how none of us, not one of us is close to a reflection of Him. I could talk about the state of our America and a poll I saw this week that said 73% of Americans are ok with same sex marriage-this was from a very conservative pollster! But I only want to talk about what God has said to me today to write for me and for you possibly. There is so much promise is this scripture that I am excited to see what God is going to do! Because I know I can’t do it-Without Him I can do nothing at all, but these days unless He leads the way and pushes me from behind, I might not make it there. But now I know that I will. I have every confidence that I will. All because of Jesus !! So the rest of my post is from the book of Joel, a great prophet of the Lord, both for Israel then and for us now. Remember, keep watching!

Joel 2:12-13″Even now, ” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate slow to anger and abounding in love,  and he relents from sending calamity.

        25-26  I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten -the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm-my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed.

28-32   And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.  Even on my servants, both the men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days. I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and billows of smoke. the sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And everyone who calls upon the Lord will be saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the survivors whom the Lord calls.

May I say that the first section is our chance to make everything right with the Lord right now. The  second section says to me that He will restore to my life the years that the locusts have eaten-even if I was allowing it! Oh and He does mean that literally too. Israel has been attacked horendously by locusts! If THIS is happening now and the Lord says He is there and that His people won’t be shamed again–well, sounds like trumpets to me!!  The third passage speaks of two times right now, because indeed we are seeing the Lord’s Spirit poured out all over the globe where people are hungry for Him; there is prophecy and I know for a fact that in particular Muslim men, the old ones dream of Jesus, the young see visions of Him. These are the Muslim men who honestly seek after God. And He says, if you seek me you will find me. And finally we have certainly seen the wonders of the heavens showering down among us and the incredible increase in volcanic activity over just the past 18 months! I do think based on some teaching I have had that the Moon and the Sun happenings do wait until the Tribulation.

So GOD SAID! DO YOU BELIEVE IT?

Need Prayers Again! and Not Just For Me!

As I write you this night I have so many rolling around in me! I know that this is the One Way that The Lord uses my writing because otherwise I do not have any talent at all for it! This has been a hard day, probably because it was a hard night before it started. I had gone to my first physical therapy lesson and although we only did four little leg exercises, I managed to get my sciatic nerve all stirred up again and every time I moved last night was agony! for those of you who have suffered with a sciatic nerve problem, you know exactly what I am talking about! There is no comfortable position to be in, no real relief with drugs-its just a misery. Still I must do my leg exercises  to get my legs strong again. I have some good goals. First to get rid of my snazzy walker and graduate to a cane which is pretty snazzy itself, but so much easier to deal with! Second, I want to be able to walk my dog again and go up and down the stairs by myself. I have to be steady on my feet to do that. I want to drive myself again. I like my independence! And my younger sister is turning 50 next month and has planned a cruise for all of her friends and family in 2 months time. I must be better for that!

What I didn’t say was how I am struggling with working between the doctor visits and tests and yes, the PT, with strength left over to do a great job. God did answer my fervent prayers last week for existing searches to continue, people to get back with me, everything to go forward well. That I am so very thankful for. Part of that is because you prayed for a client who is recovering incredibly well from his brain tumor surgery and now is able to continue his own duties. So we are both thankful for that! Now I have to ask you again for a very special person . He’s a little guy –only 9 years old and his name is Maddox. He is in the hospital. He needs his very high ketone levels to come down. Will you pray with me for that to happen? And very quickly too? I know you will. when you all prayed for me the last time, I was better. Still, I did eventually have to be in that hospital again as you know. And this continuous “visitation” is becoming  or already is just way over the top too much financially! So that was certainly part of the emotions rolling around in me today. I mentioned in my last post about stopping the gamma globulin infusions because my new doc had mentioned the side effects. Well, tonight I took a walk out in the internet world to see what I could find out about the side effects. How bad were they for others? What other effects are there? All those pertinent little questions…I hate to tell you that to my absolute horror, I found out that for a person with my history this was or should have been an expected event and not only the clots, but the meningitis also!!  I read that several doctors had pointed out that anyone with these factors should be carefully examined, followed, and at least told about the possible issues. I know that I was told nothing at all.  Nothing except that I needed this stuff like a diabetic needs insulin, but after reading very carefully, I don’t think so! Now I know I am dealing with the after effects of a somewhat wrecked body however temporary that might be, hundreds of dollars in medical bills, and certainly issues with future insurance should I decide to make a change. I guess i should be grateful I am alive to have to deal with anything, but right now, I am feeling my human anger at the cavalier attitude of doctors and the drug companies-and mostly at the drug companies. I don’t believe that my docs deliberately put me in harm’s way. they might have never read any of the materials  that I read tonight. 

Now I am sure  that everyone is saying, Wow, Cindy, what’s gotten into you tonight?  Well, I’ll tell you what I think and hope that it is. I hope it is righteous indignation! but I know that if I am off the mark, I will be hearing about it from the Lord as well as everyone else. But I believe that the laws are put out there for our protection and unfortunately no one is paying attention these days because there are more and more problems with the drugs that are out there. I don’t know what I am going to do about this if anything. but I am not going to be silent about it, that is for sure! I don’t think that would be right at all!  so I hope if you have an opinion about this, you will write me. If you have had a bad experience yourself, please tell me about it. I know I am not the only one  and I know people have died.

I have really gone out on a limb tonight and asked for your help. I hope you will give it. Please pray for Maddox. Please pray for me. I need strength and guidance, I need some financial return on my work. Only the Lord can make these things happen so please let me hear from you!

 

Joyful Joyce and Amazing God

This past week has been such a roller coaster week of emotions, duties, responsibilities on so many levels. I have wanted to write every day, but no time. 

First, so thankful for the healing words of the Lord from my friend Calvin who assures me that the Lord has justified me and loves me and that I should follow His precepts which I have tried to do before and especially this week going forward. Sometimes, I realize I get a little zealous in my conversation from the every day to world events-last week was a biggie if you were watching Obama and Israel-to my own conversations and revelations from my Lord God and also from fellow bloggers. We don’t meet up ahead of time and all same we are going to blog on the same subject and have the same opinion but it happens over and over. And because we all are Christ followers led by the Spirit,  I believe the Lord is speaking through all of us to the world, so as I said last week, Take Heed!  All of us should be examining our lives to see if we can offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our Lord. And even as I say that, I am wondering if you know what I mean or what the Word means as it is written?  Of course everyone knows what living is, but the dictionary defines sacrifice as the offering of something precious to  deity; loss,deprivation.  Ok , so I am offering my Precious self to my Lord-He says I am precious to Him. and then secondly, the loss and deprivation part: well, that’s exactly what nobody wants to do anymore. We want what we want, when we want it, how we want it; no doing without it, or waiting on it. No having it and losing it.  All of this is one of His precepts for me, besides the trust factor! And guess what this is a hard one too! I am used to going and getting just what I want, when I want it. Now I am in a position where I can not do that in regards to physical possessions. But I have found that even in regards to those that I can have, I am really careful and selective now. I ask myself, what do I really need? Not just want? And I have found that as I am faithful to Him in the small things, He is so faithful to me in the BIG things. Just this week, one more time I was amazed at the overwhelming care of people for my needs that I truly had no expectation of except advice, not tangible help–but even the way that it was given, with such love and care and assurance, it alone brings you to your knees. Thank you Father!!

Second roller coaster was finding out that the gamma globulin that I get monthly for my immunity disorder does have a very rare side effect. Guess what it is? yep, you got it! Clots! And here, supposedly,  I have had  2 in the first year of taking it!  Of course, now the doctor can not raise my dosage either as he was going to do because I have continued to catch the bacterial infections, virus’, and  mold infections that come with this immunity. so what to do? After talking and prayer, we are going to ask to be taken off of the drug.  We will consult with both the MS neurologist and the immunologist who both have said this side effect is so rare ,  but then neither of them know me very well yet, do they? I was also supposed start testing in April for food and drug allergies because for months now I have been waking up with severe itching and hives. It started off that I could just take a couple of Benadryl tablets and go back to sleep but now I usually awaken 2 or 3 hours later and have to take more. Not good. Last night, I tried an experiment. I didn’t take anything except my Coumadin. “that’s the blood thinner I ‘ve been on since last July when I had that embolism–and yes I’ve been itching at least that long.” And sure enough, here it came, very strongly last night. so here is another one to talk to the doc about. Finding out I have sticky blood wasn’t the greatest thing either, but it certainly explained a lot of things-the multiple miscarriages and the tendancy to  make clots. Lots of up and down emotional moments in the decisions, in the new knowledge, in the gratefulness for the new knowledge.

And then there was Joyful Joyce!  Joyce Zahner was the 85 year old mom of my half/way adopted sister Julie. Julie is the same age as the sister who lives in Orlando and has done so much for me and with me. She and Julie were inseparable from the moment they met and their friendship has stood the test of time. And to me, Julie was a little sister and then a friend and babysitter for my two children when they were little before I married my husband. So the Zahners have been in my life, one way or another since I was 16. In the years past when we were visiting in Atlanta, we were often invited out to Julie’s house where she lives with her 2 children and great husband and very often Joyce would be there too. Over the years, Joyce began the same decline that my mother did. She had dementia. It was hard for her as she had been a very smart professional woman. But Joyce never dwelt on circumstances, she drew from within that joy that only comes from the Lord and had peace as she drifted more and more into another realm. She always had a smile on her face. She always was telling you she loved you and you knew that she meant it. And then on her 85th birthday, not long ago, God did a wonderful thing-a little extra birthday present-He gave her a day of clarity. How wonderful that was! And most of it captured on video to be visited and revisited time and time again. At the end of it all, Joyce let her family know that she knew she was going home to her Savior soon.She was tired and so she was ready. She was very careful to give her last instructions about her grandchildren to her daughter whom she loved so much-holding her face between her hands, looking her in the eye and speaking! How very, very precious is that? How amazing is our God to know that we still need our moms to tell us stuff, important stuff? And we all know that after months and years of decline with less and less moments of clarity–to be given a DAY!!  Our God is such a Loving FATHER and He Knows Just What We Need.

On Saturday, March 16th at 11:45 am, Joyful Joyce went home. This past Thursday and Friday there were joyous celebrations of her life at two churches that we attended. I am very sure that Joyce was watching and laughing and smiling as we all talked of our memories of Joyce. And I am sure too that she would have loved the message of hope and salvation given by the pastors and by the family and friends through the scriptures read and the testimonies given that faith and hope and love were so important to Joyce. Of course, Joyce was warmly welcomed by so many friends in heaven, my parents among them. I am sure they are all up there telling there stories about all of us. 

The glory in all of this to me is that God was so kind to me to let me experience growing up in a family that taught me faith-whether I embraced it or not immediately-I KNEW what was true. He has surrounded me throughout my life with family and friends who love me and whom I love dearly. And now he has placed me back home to be in the middle of them. I say perfect timing, Lord! Thank you!

Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know that plans I have for you , declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.

I AM VERY TOUCHED AT THE OUTPOURING OF YOUR LOVE AND PRAYERS

Thank you Diane for letting everyone know I was in the hospital again. It does seem like my second home, doesn’t it?  but everyone should remember that the LORD HIMSELF said that when He brought me to the hospital, it was to do His work, and surprisingly I was able to accomplish that. Again, because of Him!

Friday morning I woke up and my left side didn’t work. I couldn’t communicate with my husband except that when I got his attention he could see he had to get me to the ER immediately. He dressed me in a sweat suit, socks and shoes and then half carried me down the hall to the elevator and then to the car. We are only about 10 minutes from the hospital and again, he half carried me in to a wheelchair. As soon as he said, “I think my wife has had a stroke”, the  nurse took over and said come right this way-there was no name, no insurance-just let us help you. It turns out that this hospital is a Stroke Hospital. And from that moment on everything was done to diagnose and contain any damage. It was the most amazing thing. As I lay there on the table realizing that I couldn’t communicate… That I couldn’t smile correctly-that essentially my left side of my face was frozen-not working… That my left hand, I could move my hand, but not really do much with it and as far as my foot was concerned, it failed all the tests…I started really talking to my Father. I told Him that this simply wouldn’t do. I couldn’t stay like this. He either needed to come and get me or He needed to heal me. That to not be able to work would be a catastrophe for us in every way. I truly was ready for Him to come and get me-but He began to remind me of all of the reasons He had brought me to Atlanta and the need of my husband for me as well. So I talked right back and said ok-yes I want to live up to my responsibilities, but I need healing to do so. I can’t do the work you have given me to do in the state I am in now. He reminded me of what He had been saying all week the last week–follow my precepts. Ok, so what have I not done? Where has my heart failed you?…I didn’t get an answer to that…just ringing in my ears was follow me. They checked me into a room of course and told me that I was going to be very busy…and I was. I had people lined up to see me; a physical therapist, speech therapist, rehabilitation specialist, nutritionist–I am sure there were more. When they were all gone, I took a nap. I was exhausted! But when my husband came to see me that night, he could understand my speech; I could walk with the walker; I could sign my name…all huge improvements from just that morning!  

The next day was more of the same; only more tests too. The tests they did, like the echo cardio-gram, I’ve had them before, but they add a bubble test to it. It seems that  30% of the population is walking around with a small hole in their hearts that didn’t heal from birth and sometimes a little teeny clot pops through that hole and goes straight up to the head. I had  NEVER heard of that before! Again one more thing about being in Atlanta! I knew this was a God thing!  

After that test, they sent me down to Xray. Guess who I met? Yes!! The reason I was there! A young lady who was ill with an autoimmune disease just like me, in pain like I have been, who wanted to and almost did commit suicide. I told ya’ll that I had had that fleeting thought when I was in such horrible pain before so I do understand, but I could not. Still here was a person who had gone almost there, except for the grace of God and probably protective angels around her. I shared with her extensively and she with me. Never have I had that kind of time with someone in radiology-but it was obvious that God was giving us this time and I made the most of it. Pray for her. You don’t need to know her name. God knows it. She still has issues to settle as I did. WHY? is a big one.

When I got back to my room, my doctor came in and said they had the results of the MRI that they had done and had compared them with the MRIs I had from Tampa that we had gotten for them. They needed to do another test because it looked like I have a tiny little aneurysm 2cm and they wanted to confirm it and make sure it wasn’t just a wonky artery. One more test that required a new IV which are very difficult for me. I have terrible veins especially where t hey needed this one to be. I blew 3 veins before we got one to hold long enough for the test. Still it blew at the end of it! The next morning I saw a new doctor. He is a neurosurgeon. If I had had my glasses on, I guess I would have known something of what he was going to tell me.  Yes, I have a little aneurysm, but the good news is (I think) that it is not big enough to operate on; so they will watch it and scan it on a regular basis. As for the problems that I have when I turn my neck a certain way, I probably cut off the circulation due to my numerous neck surgeries, hardware, and possible degeneration of the discs. I should have it checked by the neurologist, along with the other symptoms we discussed which would require a spinal tap-again, check with the neurologist. The only thing a neurosurgeon does in this town is operate, I guess. Still, he didn’t poo-poo anything. He gave it serious consideration and said this is how that is tested. Do this. I appreciate that greatly. Again God put us in Atlanta just in time for this special care that I could not get in Tampa. He is always going before us and preparing the way. How could anyone not love and worship a Heavenly Father like this?

This was Sunday morning that I got all this news. I was sitting in bed waiting for my admitting doc to come and discharge me when the cleaning lady came in. She asked if she could come in, I said yes, of course. I was doing something. I can’t remember, but all of a sudden she said,”What size shoes are these? They must be a 2 or a 3 or something!They are so small!  Your feet must be so tiny!” I looked over at her and I said”No I wear a 7. My feet aren’t so tiny.” But then I went on to say something about my sisters and mothers feet being larger-my mother wore a 9 and so did this woman. As soon as I said something about my mom, I just had words to say about who and what she was that God gave me and the woman stopped and listened and then she was crying. She said,” when they told me that I had to work this floor today, I was so upset, because it’s always a full floor and a hard one to work. But then I thought oh be grateful for your job-just make t he best of it.  And I did try hard to do that, but then I get here to your room and I hear what you have to say and I know that YOU are the reason I have this floor today. Thank for sharing with me. It’s made the difference in my life now. thank you.”

None of you can imagine just how I felt at hearing those words.  INADEQUATE, UNWORTHY, GUILTY. You know why I felt them. I had cried to the Lord, complained at the unfairness of it all, again. I tried to tell her that , but she wouldn’t hear any of it. She was grateful, I should be too and that was the end of it. So I am going to try! Today the Lord answered in a wonderfully positive way a question about my boss and me because we went about our ways honestly without deception as He has commanded us to do. I think that was also a sign that He is going to do great things business wise for me again if I will keep His precepts, following His ways, His laws, His every command and wish to me. And truly remembering what Jesus has done for me personally on  that cross how could I do anything less?  Truly I believe I will be completely restored to the abilities I had before the stroke, but hopefully not the person…hopefully this person, me, has learned an important and invaluable lesson in trusting the Lord. Really that is what all my “adventures” seem to be about, don’t they?

IF I SHOULD EVER LEAVE OUT JESUS, MY WRITINGS WOULD BE WORSE THAN ASHES

I had the time tonight to read a little of others writings–really almost going into a whole new world of ideas about a relationship with God, who He is,and how to find Him. At first I really thought I had stumbled onto something “new and better, deeper”. I am open to what the Lord would have me learn of Him. However what I found is exactly what I have always known (because God said in His Word) that EVERYTHING and I do mean EVERYTHING that I need to know about Him,His Son, the Lord Jesus, and His plan for me and for all others,  is contained in His Word.  Do you know that in Revelation 22:18 this is what God says about ADDING ON:

I warn everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds anything to them, God will add to him the plagues described in this Book. And if anyone takes words away from this book of prophecy, God will take away from him his share in the tree of life and in the holy city, which are described in this book.

so I thought to only give a little warning to those who think that maybe someone or their teaching could lead them into a deeper relationship with our God and Father, King of the Universe, to be wary. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you into all truth as God Himself has promised. He said often enough, if you seek Me, you will find Me. And truly the only way I know to go deeper with Him is study and read and pray His Word. Anyone who takes away from that and says” no, listen, this is what I have learned by walking in woods and an angel came by and told me about a new Book to write…”  I say, ” RUN, RUN fast and run far.”

If you start to see  a proliferation of books or writings coming out that seem a little off: They talk about the coming together of all faiths and that this can be achieved by delving into your inner mind and achieving a blissful state to which all kinds of ideas flow–yes I bet they do right from the serpent’s mouth.  Our God and Father is very direct about HIS PLAN-it doesn’t include other faiths to other gods, be they man made, man thought up, or just worshipped by behavior and thought and deeds!  In the Gospel of John, 14:6 this is exactly what the Lord Jesus said about Himself:

I am the Way, the Truth and the Light. No one comes to the Father except through me.

I am very sure that He meant exactly what He said because scripture goes on to tell us that one everyone-that’s everyone that’s ever lived will bow their knee and head to Jesus, King of Kings, and Lord of Lords.  I have read through the Bible and I have studied many of the  individual books in depth. I have never seen a single writing ever extolling another faith, another god. No our God says He alone is God that there was no one before Him and there will never be after Him because He is eternal. He has chosen to honor His Son as King of Kings for what work He did on the cross.  Maybe I should explain work on the cross? Because others were crucified too-is His death any more special or different physically than what others suffered? NO! but that’s not the work. The work is that the perfect Man who was also Holy God  allowed himself to be beaten, battered, whipped and crucified, taking the whole weight of the sins of the world from the first day forward to the end of the world onto Himself as He laid His life down. He was at that moment completely separated from His Holy Father. That was perhaps for Him, the greatest test of His love for us and for His Father.The Father turned His Back on His Son-WHY? Because our HOLY GOD simply could not look on all that sin-He had to turn away.  And I imagine that the Father in Him also needed to turn away. It would have been so easy to call down the angels and have an everybody get saved moment, I imagine. But that would not have finished it. Jesus had to die-He was the ONLY ONE that could pay such a penalty once and for all.  That is the work of the cross:  for me, for anyone who wants to accept that  sacrifice and gift of eternal life, now literally one can be born again, spiritually.  In  John 1:12 it says:

Yet to those who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become Children of God.

Notice it says received. Received here means chose Him, said yes, to Him and clarifies more strongly “to those who believed”. Surprise everyone is NOT a child of God! of course for the most part, you only have to look around you to see that, but I have spoken with people who were church members, teachers, preachers or priests even, who have also said, I have never asked Him in-I never knew I needed to. Well, I am certain that some of those people who are searching, they will find Him. Still the others, stuck in their theology or rules, regulations -all manner of things added on that never seek and never find-those are going to be some very unhappy people someday when Jesus holds out His hand and says,  You are not mine. I never was asked to your table, to live with you. You wanted your own way and now you can just have your  way out the door! 

well, I guess the Lord had something different and heavy to have you hear tonight. but I would plead with you that if you never have asked my Lord Jesus to come into your heart, that you would see the truth and not go to sleep without Him in your life! This is the Truth-check me out-read the Word yourself if you have questions-trust me on this: if you are truly a seeker the Lord will find you and you will find Him. It’s one of His great promises. Another is that He will never leave you or forsake you-ever, every, ever.

God bless you and keep you.