AND THE LORD KEEPS HIS PROMISES!

Before I was afflicted, I went astray, but now I obey your word. You are good, and what you do is good; teach me  your decrees. ..  I keep your precepts with all my heart…I delight in your law. It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn your decrees. The law from your mouth is more precious to me than thousands of pieces of silver and gold…Your hands made me and formed me; give me understanding to learn your commands. May those who fear you rejoice when they see me, for I have put my hope in your word.  Palm 119 67-74

I first wrote and underlined this passage in my Bible in June of 2011. I had just gotten home from the hospital after a bout with my asthma. This time the Lord did a lot of work while I was there. I have come home tired! He sold my sofa to one of the nurses and everywhere I turned there was someone to share with! My roommate, her husband, my nurses, even my student nurses. It really was glorious! And this was the scripture the Lord gave to me.

I know O Lord, that your laws are righteous, and in faithfulness you have afflicted me. May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant. Let your compassion come to me that I may live, for your law is your delight…I will mediate on your precepts…May my heart be blameless toward your decrees, that I may not be put to shame.

Then the Lord brought me back  there 2 months later. ..It seems I hadn’t been studying His precepts thoroughly enough, nor did I have an adult’s comprehension of the passage-just a child’s. So I prayed-and prayed that he would give me a hope that this feeling  would be understood as an adult. To that end, He started giving me passages on health. I always thought they were for someone else-more deserving-but on  August 26 of this year, I got a new scripture. I even told ya’ll not to get too excited! But I was excited-because it did seem for me as I could find nothing for anyone else! this time the scripture is from Jeremiah 17: 7-10,14-15

But blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord, who confidence is in Him. He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit.  The heart is deceitful  above all things and beyond cure who can understand it?  I, the Lord search the heart and examine the mind, to reward a man according to his conduct, according to what his deeds deserve…Heal me , O Lord, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved for you are the one I praise.  They keep saying to me, “Where is the word of the Lord ? Let it now be fulfilled” 

I first gave you those verses on August 18th and September 3rd. Then I was due for my Remecaid on September 14th.  Now these dates are important. USUALLY  by the week before the Remecaid is given, I have started hurting-not this time and certainly the week of, or absolutely, positively the week after. But as I write this, I don’t have any pain! Is that not the greatest thing in all the world?  So I would say that this is proof positive that the Lord God keeps His Promises! (now that I know this-there will be forth coming announcements)

Todays’ News-Aurora Colorado Mass Shooting

In Isaiah 24-most of the chapter is about how the Lord God is going to devaste the earth-this will happen in those last 7 years before Jesus comes back to triumphantly defeat Satan at Armageddon.  Already we are seeing the beginnings of this as our world’s face is ruined and people scattered due to “natural weather events” which are more violent, more often, in evey place in the world than ever in history.

Now we have mass killings starting-sometimes for stated reasons- like in the name of Allah, or “we hate everybody–but in Colorado, just a guy who went into a theatre armed and ready to kill and once done, just giving up to the police-no explanation, no brave words. I guess he didn’t like the movie! Of course this all plays into our Attorney General’s hands and his “we have no right to have guns policy” and his determination to get rid of what we Americans have always considered our inalieable right to bear arms. He will say if we had a no guns policy this would not have happened. I say if you are the criminal element, you can always put your hand on a gun. It will be the average citizen who will be hurt in this.

Still, the reason for my writing this morning is not my particular soap box, but to call you to pray for these families who have been suddenly hit by death or were one of the more that 40 wounded.  Pray this :You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord , the Lord is the Rock eternal. Isaiah 26: 3-4

Remeber, the countdown has started in heaven. Things are only going to get worse here. Don’t delay your witness to your loved ones, your friends, your neighbors. What will it matter what they think when very soon they are facing eternity without a safety net? The ONE you could have told them about-if you believed enough, cared enough, loved enough-because this is what it comes down to. Satan will get them otherwise.

Oh how I love you all with the love God has put into my heart! How I understand so much better Paul’s writings now and his willingness to be poured out for those so that they too could know his Savior. As I told a Doctor this week, after you’ve had the Lord in your corner in the ER, how could you not tell everyone you meet of HIM and His love for them-and His Plan for their Salvation?

A NEW AWARD!! READER APPRECIATION!!

 

AKA THE ENCOURAGEMENT AWARD

Many thanks http://writerwannabe763.wordpress. com

A WHOLE LOT OF TRIALS AND TRIBULATIONS- I PETER4: 12-19

Once again, I have heard over and over in the last few days of suffering Christians. It’s not just me in that desert, I keep talking about, it seems as if it is everybody. Listen to what the scripture says.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial your suffering, as thought something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. If you are insulted because of the name of Christ, you are blessed, for the Spirit of glory and of God rests on you. If you suffer, it should not be as a nurderer or thief or any other kind of criminal, or even as a meddler. However, if you suffer as a Christian, do not be ashamed, but praise God that you bear that name. For it is time for judgment  to begin with the family of God; and if it begins with us, what will the outvome be for those who do not obey the gospel of God? And,  ‘if it is hard for the righteous to be saved, what will become of the ungodly sinner?’  So then, those who suffer according to God’s will should commit themselves to their faithful Creator and continue to do good.

Wow, you might need to read through that passage 2 or 3 times to get it. I did.  And what I read is simply a continuation on God’s telling me that I am not getting out of this desert I’m in, been in. That it wouldn’t be good for me. I need to be completely dependent on HIM. And you know when I am completely dependent? Of course, when I am suffering the most.  Now I don’t pretend to understand God’s ways and thoughts. I sure would have done a few things differently! But they would have been wrong, turned out wrong, because God’s way is always right even if you can’t see it when you are going through it. I have had to learn this over and over again. I have a stubborn streak that God has been working on since I was a little girl. I like to think I am a whole better about that than I used to be, but only the good Lord and my husband could really tell you for sure.

This passage in Peter is great for several reasons. First it tells us not to be surprised at our circumstances. I can’t begin to tell you though, how many people have said, ” if you belong to God, all you have to do is ask and it will all be given to you”. My question to them is what is the “all” that is being given to me? because it is not prosperity, or popularity, or  overwhelming success, or just good health, just reasonable financial health. Nope, nada, nein, non, no! I can not find any place in the Bible where it says that our God is obligated to give us a fairy tale life. In fact, just the opposite is the case. From the beginning of the Word of God, in the garden of Eden, once sin came into the world through Adam and Eve, all of mankind was relegated to that desert that I speak of. Of course I am not talking literally, but metaphorically.

This trial and tribulation problem has plagued man since then-believer and unbeliever alike.     It rains on the believer and unbelievers alike. Both have similar injuries and go to the same hospital. One recovers very quickly, one does not. Again, why does God? Where is He? Whydoesn’t He answer?

I do believe that God answers every prayed sincerely. You might not like the answer, but you will get one if you ask the Lord for it!–but sometimes, like me, he takes you out of your comfort zone. I am going to go out of mine, because I need to get better help for whatever is happening with my knee. That would keep me really incapasitated  for the most important  delivery in the mornings. Sometimes my granddaughters are here for a long weekend and it just wouldn’t look right to have fight them staying toether in my house. Anymore that it would have look to have left yyour left arm broken because you waneour light and door unlocked

 

More Evidence!

I am so excited! I know I blogged last year about my conversation with God about my perfect (He says) body and I think I’ve said something recently too-or maybe just in response to someone. But if you are new to my blog let me just tell you that from the top of my head to the tip of my toes, it has been fixed, repaired or taken out. Or I caught it and it liked me and decided to stay long past it’s welcome!

But last year, my Father, the God of this universe and any other, told me I was perfect! He said He formed me in the womb! Several times He said that in Isaiah-it was bad enough having to read it in the Psalms where I go for my comfort and there I read how perfectly wonderfully formed I am and how He was there when my innermost parts were knitted together…My Father has always known exactly what I was thinking-so I didn’t think it was too terrible to say out loud “I don’t think you did such a good job with me” I’m whispering now, because it is all settled, but I did say that exactly. To which my Father, my Glorious Father replied “I made you absolutely perfect”. Well then my dander got up a little cause how could He say that to someone who has been through what I have physically? I started naming my body problems starting with my little tumors on my head that no one else in the whole world has ever had. He stopped me there and said and didn’t you make a great friend who is recovering from a brain tumor-and ya’ll have a relationship because of the tumors and your understanding of how she feels? or didn’t she say that? Yes, Lord, she said that. But what about my neck? I have all the disks in my neck fused except for the top and bottom–no good at all has come out of that. In fact I had a stroke and lost my voice after that surgery-NOT the SURGEON”S FAULT!! what good came out of that? oh think back Cindy, how many people have you told about Jesus and His healing power in regards to those surgeries? OK,right again Lord. and so we went down my body- I think the next thing was my left rotator cuff–now I have to get my right one done! but there will be someone to share Jesus with. And when I had breast cancer, it never occured to me that I wouldn’t survive it-it did to my husband and family. But I had to go through that because too many women that God brings to my door have had it and it brings instant rapport..

I’m not going any further with what I’ve had wrong and what has been fixed-I think I have said enough that you get my drift–with an immunity disorder, you get everything. so I’ve had everything-just only recently found out why. but let me tell you about my evidence! That is why I had to write again tonight!

In Ephesians 1:11 many scholars  believe that the emphasis is upon knowing that WE are GOD’s INHERITANCE. (individually and collectively) I have read, heard preached, and studied enough that I thought of me (us) as Jesus’ inheritance-but of course He and the Father are one.  But this is the important part: God wants us to know what the Holy Spirit has accomplished within us-to look at the robe of righteousness that He has provided (Is 61:10) INSTEAD on constantly dwelling upon the beggar’s rags of unrighteousness that He has removed.

Now remember what I said to the Lord God about how He made me? The heavenly bridegroom answers “all beautiful you are, my darling; there is no flaw in you” Song of Songs 4:7, and “…the splendor I had given you made your beauty perfect. Ezek 16:14

You know when God says something once it’s important, but when He comes back in flourishing style months later and repeats Himself even more grandly-how could you ever, ever not want to know this God who has loved you so dearly that He knows the number of hairs on your head or not! I know for me, I think it finally got through. I hope and pray that I can start speaking what I believe. I am a child of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He has made me perfect for His inheritance. He wants me at His side for all eternity…those are my truths, what about you?

God has spoken to me and I’m not kidding

Anyone who has read my blog of the last year and a half knows of my journey. So please bear with me while I recount the last 2 wks. Two weeks ago, our pastor gave a sermon on stories and used my life verse, ll Cor 1:4 as the text.  The jist of it was that really our life is not about getting there–the destination, it is about the journey. It’s about our experiences, our sphere of people we interact with (whether we want to or not), just everything that touches us. The Bible says that EVERYTHING that comes to us is filtered through His fingers. So for all my life I have asked, Why did you give my this body Lord?  Why did I have to have this happen to me? Why can I not stay well? Why do I have to live with constant pain, Why, Why, Why? So how could my loving, gracious all powerful holy Father let this all happen to me? First I believe you really have to go to the Word of God for answers, for comfort, for knowledge, even for help in my believing, but unbelief too. This isn’t something that you get from self help books or even counselors–this is between you and holy God. So as I was studying in Isaiah in my weekly lesson, in one chapter it kept saying “in the womb I formed you” over and over and at first I grumbled but then I remembered in Psalms where God said He knit my innermost parts together and in Jeremiah He says that he has a plan to care for and prosper me. Then I went back to my life verse and as I began to read it, God began to tell me why. I never expected an answer!  Afterall, He is God of all and doesn’t have to explain anything he does. But this is what he told me.

Cindy, I love you. I have loved forever and will always love you. Nothing will separate you from my love. My child your life has been a series of stories, sometimes miracles that I have done, so that whenever you meet someone  there will almost be instant rapport because you and  that person or their loved one has gone through  the same physical trial you have and you know exactly how they feel and so can offer comfort. Physical issues and pain bring people together along with other things you’ve experienced. I know that you have been going through the trial of affliction and that you have had to come through a lot of losses in the past 3 years but my child, now you are truly dependant on me. My child, you must trust me for my promises. and then He said it again, Trust me.

So now I wait for Him to act on those promises. But I will never again complain about my body-all I will do is look about in anticipation of who the Lord is going to bring to me to share and comfort with!

A FATHER’S LOVE

This is a really awesome video that my brother sent me today. I have shared with my GriefShare group and they thought it was great and timely!  Click below and enjoy!

http://used2gofast.com/fll.html

Profoundly Changed

I kept my promise and got involved in a very depth Bible study. The first book we studied was Phillipians. I couldn’t imagine learning so much from that one little book-but I did. I began to share what I was learning with my husband as we walked at night. Sometimes we discussed the lessons. Eventually I started going back to church and suddenly he was getting up to go with me. We didn’t join or go to a Sunday School or small group, but at least we were worshiping every Sunday.

Sometime before all this happened, I got over my “God mad”. One day, it was as if God knocked me on the head and said, ” Cindy, if I hadn’t let him (my ex-husband) leave, you would have never met and married the love of your life-who has loved you and cherished you, raised your children-been there through thick and then. Don’t you get it?” That very day, I got down on my face before the Lord and asked forgiveness and then I claimed the verse where He says He will restore the years that the locusts have eaten. Since then, it certainly seems like-with what I am learning and doing and sharing-that He is really doing that!

Sometimes I think that my body has rebelled against me and decided that every part of it should be fixed, taken out or repaired. In 1994, I had a problem with my colon and my bladder. I have to say that of all my surgeries, this was probably the worst. On top of that, my bladder went to sleep and didn’t wake up for a week (we didn’t know I was allergic to morphine and this was one of the side effects), so I had to go home with a foley! It was awful! It took me many months to recover from the surgery and all the side effects. I was blessed that I could work from home or the office and that God kept producing the placements!

During one of our regional business meetings I noticed that my hands had started swelling at the joints, were hot and very painful. The next thing I knew, I was seeing a Rhuematoidologist-a specialist in Rhuematoid Arthritis. After xrays and blood tests, I was diagnosed with one more awful thing. As it progressed, I had to learn to live with chronic pain. Some days, I couldn’t walk. I felt like I was walking on my bones in my feet. Sometimes, I just lay in bed and ached all over. It was like having the flu, but not the flu. With RA, there is a methodology to treatment. They start with the light weight stuff before going to the needles and then infusions through IV. Some meds would work for awhile then stop, some wouldn’t work at all. I can’t remember how many I have been on, but just now, the most recent drug has quit working too. What a shame for me and for the insurance company that paid such a hugh amount for my infusion. Now it’s back to the drawing board and back to the Vicodan and heating pad!

This is one of my “thorns” that God has not chosen to heal. I don’t know why-He certainly has healed me from other things-very miraculously, but not this. It certainly keeps me dependent upon Him for my every move and reminds me to pray for those in worse conditions!

uh oh!

Everything was going along well. We had a good office of 8 consultants and me. Then I was stricken with breast cancer. It was kinda crazy how it all came together. I had had regular mammagrams. One showed some changes in one area and I was to come back in 3 months and have another one. Still more changes this time, so I went to Moffit and also sent my slides to my doctor at Emory in Atlanta. Moffit told me to wait and watch, while Emory said-let’s test further. I went up to Atlanta and consulted with 2 other oncologists. They thought that I should not wait for things to get worse, but to go ahead and have a double simple subcutaneous mastectomy. I was on premarin from my previous hysterectomy and certainly did not want to give up that medicine. I was 39 years old and by this time had had numerous biopsies with diagnosis on the edge of malignacy. It was time to make sure things went no further. This way, I would not have to have chemo or radiation…althought that is no longer what they do today in treatment.

We scheduled the surgery over the holidays in November. I thought that the less I was away from my office the better. I was gone three weeks.

Still business struggled and our office suffered as a result. Finally  we moved into  a shared office with MRI Clearwater and MRI  West Palm Beach as well as MRI Tampa. Consolidating the offices was good. We could play off of each other-although  most of what they did was not local as I was. Still it was a great learning time for me-in terms of all kinds of recruiting, objections, ect.(probably one of the most fun times of my life)

Soon after that the General Manager left to purchase his own MRI franchise. And so began the saga of new MRI mgrs…I just kept my head down and did my business.

In 1993, I had my final surgery for my breast reconstruction. It was supposed to be nothing at all. In fact done right in the clinic operating room. I woke up with a tube in my throat in the hospital. I had had an asthma attack under anesthesisa and had stopped breathing. They had fought to get me back.

My first thought was not that I almost died and what would have happened to me,but that I was there standing before the God of the Universe. He asked me how I had spent my time on earth after I had become a believer. He asked me if I knew all the guys lined up beside Him-it seems that they were his prophets-the writers of His Word. Had I even read all of His love letter to me? All I could think of  was that I was so ashamed. I was so convicted of my negligence. That day I purposed in my heart that I would change my ways, my life. I was given a second chance and I would make the most of it!

Today-September 2, 2009

I am overcome by a bleeding heart. I know that my God is carrying me through my travails, but I have to admit my emotions get the better of me sometimes. Today I was praying with my sister who is in severe financial difficulty. I also have a brother and another sister who are recently unemployed. I am employed, but haven’t had the best of years and now facing this tumor surgery-I see the neurosugeon on Friday-am unsure of what the rest of the year will hold. Of course, my husband who would love to be able to financially support me, can not-this is his story.

My husband-the absolute love of my life had a mitral valve go bad in November of 2006. This was just after I had gotten my voice back from losing it with a stroke in August of 2005. I had started back to work on a part-time basis, when he was struck. By the time I got him to the hospital that night, 80% of his lungs were filled with fluid and his heart was filled up with blood, the oxigenated and unoxigenated going back and forth between the heart chambers as we saw on the echo. The doctor immediately came over and said he had to have surgery. We called our church for the name of  a heart surgeon and were given one. Then we prayed together that God would show us what to do. Guess who walked in that door in the next 10 minutes? Of course, my cardiologist along with this referred doctor! It seemed he was a mitral valve specialist and people come to him from all over the world. Could anyone other than God put that together?

After the catherization that took over 2 hours instead of 45 minutes, I followed my husband into CCU. I was told he was very sick and did I understand that? I asked, “What do you mean? Like he’s doing to die?” I was told his chances were not very good. His heart was very enlarged. They had put an auxillary pump on to help it and they had tried to drain as much fluid off of his lungs as they could. I asked them, “If he is so sick, why don’t you operate today?” I was told he wouldn’t survive an operation until they could get him stronger. This was a Wednesday night.

On Thursday night, I had allowed my parents to come over from Orlando. They loved him so much and wanted to see him before the surgery on Friday. My sister and daughters were there too. We all went to dinner that night at Fridays. As is our regular habit, we blessed the food and prayed for my husband. Toward the end of our meal, a lady came over and told us how neat it was that we would bless a meal at a public place. My dad spoke up and let her know that my husband was having open heart (literally they cut your heart open for this) surgery the next day. She said-oh let’s pray again. Then she asked us to step outside and listen to her son play his accordian!!

Accordian!! not my favorite instrument! And he had only been taking lessons for 6 months. Well, what else could we do? This poor boy apparently had been out there all this time and she had prayed with us, so we went. I say this, because there is no way he could known our circumstances-but God did. When I came out, he started playing Amazing Grace! So magnificiently! I sank to my knees-knowing His Grace was sufficient for me and knew that my husband would survive the surgery.

It has been almost 3 years. He has 30% heart function, but no other health issues! He does have a pacemaker/defibulator       done in 07. But he is back doing “honey-dos’ and keeping up our home! I love him so much! Thank you God for the gift of more years together! In May 2010, it will be 30 years!.