AND ALL THINGS CAN BE NEW AGAIN!!!

As of today, May 1, I am employed by World Bridge Partners out of Omaha Nebraska, by a franchisee of  MRI NETWORK  that I have known for 25 years.  This is a person that I highly regard both personally and spiritually and professionally. It was just a month ago that he and I were renewing our acquaintance as he asked for my help in mentoring his son in legal recruiting. I spent the next day working with a young man who soaked up everything I said like a sponge and asked the most intelligent  questions!  Once I gave him a partner level candidate, he also wrote the most beautiful script I’ve ever  read about a candidate and I told him to start making calls on the candidate’s behalf the next day. He called almost in a panic after just a couple of hours of calls. He was getting responses within 10 minutes of his calls-wanting more information, a resume or an interview-and what should he do next? WOW  Thank goodness it was a Friday! It gave me time to get with my candidate and tell him who was interested in his bio/no name/no firm so who might he want to speak with? He chose to do his due diligence over the weekend and first thing on Monday, I knew who he wanted to see. Now he is going forward in the process and we are very excited about that as my young friend had not gotten so far in a year; nor did he realize that corporate contracts are to be negotiated on both sides, including payment terms. I am of course, thrilled to be able to bring anything to the table. This will be a win/win/win for everyone. More than just helping mentor this young man, I began to see a well run franchise that had made it through the recession, still took good care of its recruiters-in fact valued them-and I began to ask the Lord, “Have you brought them to my attention for a reason? Am I supposed to ask for a job?” 

 You all know I have been studying the book of Genesis this year in BSF. Just lately we have been studying the life of Joseph. Sold by his brothers into slavery, into Potiphar’s house where he rose to the role of managing the household, and then thrown into prison after being unjustly accused by Potiphar’s wife of attempted rape, he rose again to oversee the prison under the warden. Those two jobs prepared him for the number 2 job under Pharaoh that he would have after he interpreted Pharaoh’s dream’s by the grace of God. Last week when I had determined that it was ok for me to ask for a job with this man and we began to talk of what might could be–oh my goodness–did I begin to see parallels!  For the very first time, I actually thought that my desert, my pruning, my fire, my refining, might not all be about discipline and getting me ready for heaven, but ready for something else God wants me to do here! 

WOW!! How GREAT is that at almost 62!! and having had a stroke even a mini one just 45 days ago, even if it wasn’t my fault? Because as you all have been with me on this journey, you know that I have found out that material things are nice, but not important unless it’s matter of keeping warm or comfortably cool or medical bills paid, medicine paid for, basic groceries paid for. I am no longer about all the stuff I accumulated. it’s long gone and I don’t have any room for it in my life or my place any more. What’s more important is what decision I have made in an action and has it damaged my witness? Cause I am far from perfect, but that is so important. I do not want Jesus Christ to be ashamed of me. Anyway this is going to make a huge difference in my life–already has. I have real hope about our circumstances going forward. I know the Lord can and does and did provide miracles every month but goodness, gracious, that’s hard on a body, on two people just striving as best they could! I know He expects people who can to work and so I am-doing what He has given to me to do. Just this time, I have those basics that most employed people expect-benefits, expenses, a more than generous draw. I have to tell you that when he made the offer, the scripture running through my head was how ”He is able to  abundantly supply more than we ask, or expect or even dream of.”  I can only say that because I have almost  learned to live on a minimum wage draw. Now OF COURSE everything wasn’t getting paid on time or at all, but we were alive, had enough to eat, power, gas in the one car, a credit card paid for that. Now everyone can get caught up for which I am so very VERY  thankful! I don’t like owing good people money, so now I can start to take care of that.

Thank the Lord for the people in my church that have kept me with health insurance–again, the Lord has been ever so close through all of this time. I thank Him and all of those who have helped us. Once we are back on our feet,  we can go back to helping others as we used to do. Thank you for all of your prayers for this also. I know you were also praying for a miracle for me and IT HAS HAPPENED!

God Bless and Good night–

Cindy

SUNDAY NIGHT, HOME, MY SINCERE THANKS FOR YOUR PRAYERS ONCE AGAIN

Once again,  I found myself in the hospital ER on Thursday afternoon. I had gone in for my simple physical therapy session this week, but this time, I was put on a bike. It wasn’t a regular bike, I was leaning back on the backrest, very comfortable, not even hurting my knees. The clock turned over 8 minutes and I began to have just a little pain on my left side up under my breast. I really didn’t pay attention at first, but then it got worse it enough to really call my attention to it and and I must have rubbed it. My therapist said “what’s the matter?” I told her I had a little pain in my left chest. She had me stop cycling at once and took me over to a chair and took my blood pressure and  oxygen levels.  I don’t think they were that bad,  but by then the pain had gone down my arm with lots of tingling and piyns and needles in my hand that I just couldn’t shake off.  When that happened she got help and a wheelchair and away we went to the ER. They treated it like a heart attack, but I don’t think that’s what it was-heart spasms is what I have heard so far with EEG changes the 3 different times I had them.  Since there were already questions about what my heart is doing these days ( I have 30 day event monitor I was already wearing) the doc decided a stress test would be a good thing to have-the following morning-so the night in the hospital and my email to Diane to ask for your prayers that there was no blockage.  The doctor was sure that’s what it was. It even sounded like it to me, based on what my daddy had been through several times and had stents put in after 2 quadruple by-passes.  But thanks to your prayers and  to God‘s purpose, that was not why I was in the hospital that night.

 I was on the phone with my sister (yes, that one) We were praying. The young person who was to take me up my room arrived in the middle of it and I raised up my finger signaling-just a minute-he nodded and waited respectfully. When we were done and he had helped me into the chair and we were rolling along, I thanked him for waiting and explained you don’t just “hang up” on the Lord.  He nodded and me I guess I was still really in the Spirit, because I looked at him and I asked him if he knew Jesus. He got me on the elevator and said, “Do you mean am I saved?  No, ma’am, I don’t know Jesus.  But I have been thinking a lot about it for quite awhile months- thinking hard on it.  By this time we had arrived at my room. I asked his name and asked if I could tell him a story- just take a few minutes. He agreed  and I told him about when the Lord Himself  had met me at the moment of my need to breathe without panic and fear on May 5, 2011. Then I asked him by name, don’t you want Jesus for yourself today? He looked at me and said yes, ma’am  I do.  I asked again, do you want to pray to receive Jesus into your heart right now?  He said he did, so I asked him to give me his hand and I would lead him in prayer. ..Once he had gone I of course knew why I was visiting the hospital that night!! Still as I shared the news with my family, everyone’s response was great, but couldn’t the Lord send you there for something less serious, less painful…why this way at all??

My only answer can be that whatever I have to go through for Jesus’ sake is so far below anything that can be considered or compared with what HE did for me is minor -even if it is major to us. There were so many people to give His word to, from the one who wanted to know if I have a Living Will (I do), each  nurse or tech-there were so many people to tell a story to.

I didn’t get a chance to write what has been on my heart since last Thursday. The Lord has been exceedingly gracious in speaking to me. Not just Thursday morning during my  devotions but also during my dreams Thursday night which were confirmed again in the sermon in church this morning. So ya’ll will have to keep coming back! I told you life with me was never boring!!

Goodnight

 

MY STORY IS BLESSING PEOPLE IN DUNWOODY,GA wi -SO SAYS MY HAIRDRESSER!!

  I bet that title got you going, didn’t it?  It shocked me today when I sat down in my hairdresser‘s chair for only the 2nd time, because that was how she greeted me!  She didn’t know that I had had another little stroke on the 15th of March or all the things that God has done for me in between. I am so overwhelmed I am typing with tears running down my cheeks,  when I think of this past several weeks. Some of you know that I am a recruiter and a good one by the grace of God, but sometimes things don’t go your way-not my way, but God’s way is the way it has to go and that kept me from making enough money to pay our basic bills.  I guess I finally had to realize that whatever I have comes from Him our Holy Father and not from what I do-even though I thought I knew that-had already learned that lesson, time and time again. This  time I literally could not make a deal happen for anything and this was the worst of times: I had just moved to a new city expected  really great things coming “back home” if anyone really does that. And then I woke up on March 15th with my left side frozen and unable to communicate with my husband to even help people understand where the new doctors I have were. You’ve read that story, but what happens when you come home from the hospital and you have to see all the doctors and do all the physical therapy and it only seems to make you hurt worse? On top of that you have to get back to work, those bills didn’t stop coming in and now more are coming! What can anyone do? I do what I always do, I put my head down to the ground and I go to my Heavenly Father. He is all I’ve got. Now don’t mistake my meaning here. I have a wonderful husband (Mr Wonderful) and wonderful daughters and son and grand girls. but my Heavenly Father, HE IS IT.  He is the only one who can solve my problems, give me peace, show me what to do next.  And the Lord did tell me just what to do next, which I did and I can tell you that my most pressing need-my health insurance policy payment- is paid through June. I simply could not believe the news when I got it but again, overwhelming gratitude doesn’t begin to cover the feelings. There were others in my own family who saw a specific need and just handled it-so many different people contributing to the whole. And some of you are wondering where did she get the money for her haircut? I got an insurance check yesterday. I found out that you can have supplemental insurance to cover you for the number of days you are in the hospital through AARP/UNITED HEALTH. I wish I had known about it a lot sooner!! But I got a little check  and so here I was sitting in Jennifer’s chair.

Jennifer is also a believer-well I guess  that is obvious- but I didn’t know it when I sat in her chair the first time.  I had looked at everyone’s website within a reasonable driving distance that had a salon when I first moved to town. I was really anxious about choosing a new hairdresser.  My hairdresser from Tampa had taken care of me for about 20 years!  She had become a confidant and friend. I had no illusions about replacing her, I just wanted a decent haircut and hopefully highlights if they didn’t cost me  a week’s groceries. I  looked and looked and then I read Jennifer’s story. She is a 3rd generation stylist-she really loves her work but there was just something special in the way that she wrote about herself that made me call. She couldn’t even take me for like 3 weeks I think, but for some reason, I waited. The day arrived; I had my directions; I started off in plenty of time. I still couldn’t find the salon! They were tucked into the corner of a large shopping center and she had to direct me there when I finally called! I hate being late-even 5 or 10 minutes-but she was so nice, put me right at ease and you know how it is, you just start chatting and when you are me, you talk about things that are on your heart, are important to you, like the Lord Jesus! Oh was she happy and then we were just off to the races! We were sharing stories back and forth and of course I told her some of my special ones.  She told me when I was there then and again today that she always knows when somebody is in her chair that is just supposed to be there and that it is a “God Thing” not to let go of it until everyone is satisfied. And that means with just the sharing or the helping or the whatever.  So I came in using my jazzy cane today and she asked about that and I told her what had happened to me in March. That’s when she told me that my stories were blessing people all over Dunwoody-that she had been sharing then with her clients and her clients were blessed by the story. Isn’t that amazing? Somebody else telling my story and people still getting a blessing? Oh that is such a God thing!!

So I have opened up my heart raw tonight ya’ll not cry poor mouth, but to show you that we all can wind up in serious consequences, not through our own doing and we can not look down on that person or badmouth that person or whatever else you might be inclined to do. My circumstances come from catastrophic health incidents that both my husband and I suffered within 19 months of one another. I have been fortunate enough to have had a job, a passion, a career that I can do with a phone and a computer wherever I am.  He was not so fortunate. His heart was badly damaged which I have also written of before, but it didn’t keep him from being Mr. Wonderful, it just keep him from being employed.  My job, career, passion is always just a deal away from breaking even again.  And that part, thankfully is not up to me, it’s up to God.

GOD SPEAKS!!!

I was listening to a sermon online tonight from Palm Sunday. I was visiting the church site to see who and what they were about as you really couldn’t tell from the name. but oh, how I got blessed by all the reading I did and then the listening I did to the sermon…

There was one big important principle: “When God speaks, He really means what He says!” Let me give you an example:

Genesis 1:1…27   In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. Now the earth was dark and formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters. God SAID let there be light, and there WAS light…And God SAID let there be an expanse between  the waters to separate the water under the expanse from the water above it. AND IT WAS SO…God SAID let the water under the sky be gathered to one place and let dry ground appear. AND IT WAS SO…Then God SAID Let the land produce vegetation: seed bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their kinds. And God SAW THAT IT WAS GOOD.

Are you getting the picture here? God speaks and He really means it. Of course from there He went on to personally hang the moon and the sun and put the stars out one by one. He knows them all by name and they make music back to him. I know I blogged about that a couple of years ago (see Psalms 148) And after the sun and the moon, here comes the creatures, flying, crawling, racing, thumping, scampering, even, slithering, or just moseying along like cattle do. And finally here is the sixth day. Only He can do it justice:

God said, “Let us make man in our image in our likeness…So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

Do you notice  that the fact that we are created in His own image is apparently so very important that God repeated TWICE? He created us to be a reflection of Him! Of course I could get on my platform and talk about how none of us, not one of us is close to a reflection of Him. I could talk about the state of our America and a poll I saw this week that said 73% of Americans are ok with same sex marriage-this was from a very conservative pollster! But I only want to talk about what God has said to me today to write for me and for you possibly. There is so much promise is this scripture that I am excited to see what God is going to do! Because I know I can’t do it-Without Him I can do nothing at all, but these days unless He leads the way and pushes me from behind, I might not make it there. But now I know that I will. I have every confidence that I will. All because of Jesus !! So the rest of my post is from the book of Joel, a great prophet of the Lord, both for Israel then and for us now. Remember, keep watching!

Joel 2:12-13″Even now, ” declares the Lord, “return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning.” Rend your heart and not your garments. Return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate slow to anger and abounding in love,  and he relents from sending calamity.

        25-26  I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten -the great locust and the young locust, the other locusts and the locust swarm-my great army that I sent among you. You will have plenty to eat, until you are full, and you will praise the name of the Lord your God, who has worked wonders for you; never again will my people be shamed. Then you will know that I am in Israel, that I am the Lord your God, and that there is no other; never again will my people be shamed.

28-32   And afterward, I will pour out my Spirit on all people. Your sons and daughters will prophesy, your old men will dream dreams, your young men will see visions.  Even on my servants, both the men and women, I will pour out my Spirit in those days. I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood and fire and billows of smoke. the sun will be turned to darkness and the moon to blood before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord. And everyone who calls upon the Lord will be saved; for on Mount Zion and in Jerusalem there will be deliverance, as the Lord has said, among the survivors whom the Lord calls.

May I say that the first section is our chance to make everything right with the Lord right now. The  second section says to me that He will restore to my life the years that the locusts have eaten-even if I was allowing it! Oh and He does mean that literally too. Israel has been attacked horendously by locusts! If THIS is happening now and the Lord says He is there and that His people won’t be shamed again–well, sounds like trumpets to me!!  The third passage speaks of two times right now, because indeed we are seeing the Lord’s Spirit poured out all over the globe where people are hungry for Him; there is prophecy and I know for a fact that in particular Muslim men, the old ones dream of Jesus, the young see visions of Him. These are the Muslim men who honestly seek after God. And He says, if you seek me you will find me. And finally we have certainly seen the wonders of the heavens showering down among us and the incredible increase in volcanic activity over just the past 18 months! I do think based on some teaching I have had that the Moon and the Sun happenings do wait until the Tribulation.

So GOD SAID! DO YOU BELIEVE IT?

Joyful Joyce and Amazing God

This past week has been such a roller coaster week of emotions, duties, responsibilities on so many levels. I have wanted to write every day, but no time. 

First, so thankful for the healing words of the Lord from my friend Calvin who assures me that the Lord has justified me and loves me and that I should follow His precepts which I have tried to do before and especially this week going forward. Sometimes, I realize I get a little zealous in my conversation from the every day to world events-last week was a biggie if you were watching Obama and Israel-to my own conversations and revelations from my Lord God and also from fellow bloggers. We don’t meet up ahead of time and all same we are going to blog on the same subject and have the same opinion but it happens over and over. And because we all are Christ followers led by the Spirit,  I believe the Lord is speaking through all of us to the world, so as I said last week, Take Heed!  All of us should be examining our lives to see if we can offer ourselves as living sacrifices to our Lord. And even as I say that, I am wondering if you know what I mean or what the Word means as it is written?  Of course everyone knows what living is, but the dictionary defines sacrifice as the offering of something precious to  deity; loss,deprivation.  Ok , so I am offering my Precious self to my Lord-He says I am precious to Him. and then secondly, the loss and deprivation part: well, that’s exactly what nobody wants to do anymore. We want what we want, when we want it, how we want it; no doing without it, or waiting on it. No having it and losing it.  All of this is one of His precepts for me, besides the trust factor! And guess what this is a hard one too! I am used to going and getting just what I want, when I want it. Now I am in a position where I can not do that in regards to physical possessions. But I have found that even in regards to those that I can have, I am really careful and selective now. I ask myself, what do I really need? Not just want? And I have found that as I am faithful to Him in the small things, He is so faithful to me in the BIG things. Just this week, one more time I was amazed at the overwhelming care of people for my needs that I truly had no expectation of except advice, not tangible help–but even the way that it was given, with such love and care and assurance, it alone brings you to your knees. Thank you Father!!

Second roller coaster was finding out that the gamma globulin that I get monthly for my immunity disorder does have a very rare side effect. Guess what it is? yep, you got it! Clots! And here, supposedly,  I have had  2 in the first year of taking it!  Of course, now the doctor can not raise my dosage either as he was going to do because I have continued to catch the bacterial infections, virus’, and  mold infections that come with this immunity. so what to do? After talking and prayer, we are going to ask to be taken off of the drug.  We will consult with both the MS neurologist and the immunologist who both have said this side effect is so rare ,  but then neither of them know me very well yet, do they? I was also supposed start testing in April for food and drug allergies because for months now I have been waking up with severe itching and hives. It started off that I could just take a couple of Benadryl tablets and go back to sleep but now I usually awaken 2 or 3 hours later and have to take more. Not good. Last night, I tried an experiment. I didn’t take anything except my Coumadin. “that’s the blood thinner I ‘ve been on since last July when I had that embolism–and yes I’ve been itching at least that long.” And sure enough, here it came, very strongly last night. so here is another one to talk to the doc about. Finding out I have sticky blood wasn’t the greatest thing either, but it certainly explained a lot of things-the multiple miscarriages and the tendancy to  make clots. Lots of up and down emotional moments in the decisions, in the new knowledge, in the gratefulness for the new knowledge.

And then there was Joyful Joyce!  Joyce Zahner was the 85 year old mom of my half/way adopted sister Julie. Julie is the same age as the sister who lives in Orlando and has done so much for me and with me. She and Julie were inseparable from the moment they met and their friendship has stood the test of time. And to me, Julie was a little sister and then a friend and babysitter for my two children when they were little before I married my husband. So the Zahners have been in my life, one way or another since I was 16. In the years past when we were visiting in Atlanta, we were often invited out to Julie’s house where she lives with her 2 children and great husband and very often Joyce would be there too. Over the years, Joyce began the same decline that my mother did. She had dementia. It was hard for her as she had been a very smart professional woman. But Joyce never dwelt on circumstances, she drew from within that joy that only comes from the Lord and had peace as she drifted more and more into another realm. She always had a smile on her face. She always was telling you she loved you and you knew that she meant it. And then on her 85th birthday, not long ago, God did a wonderful thing-a little extra birthday present-He gave her a day of clarity. How wonderful that was! And most of it captured on video to be visited and revisited time and time again. At the end of it all, Joyce let her family know that she knew she was going home to her Savior soon.She was tired and so she was ready. She was very careful to give her last instructions about her grandchildren to her daughter whom she loved so much-holding her face between her hands, looking her in the eye and speaking! How very, very precious is that? How amazing is our God to know that we still need our moms to tell us stuff, important stuff? And we all know that after months and years of decline with less and less moments of clarity–to be given a DAY!!  Our God is such a Loving FATHER and He Knows Just What We Need.

On Saturday, March 16th at 11:45 am, Joyful Joyce went home. This past Thursday and Friday there were joyous celebrations of her life at two churches that we attended. I am very sure that Joyce was watching and laughing and smiling as we all talked of our memories of Joyce. And I am sure too that she would have loved the message of hope and salvation given by the pastors and by the family and friends through the scriptures read and the testimonies given that faith and hope and love were so important to Joyce. Of course, Joyce was warmly welcomed by so many friends in heaven, my parents among them. I am sure they are all up there telling there stories about all of us. 

The glory in all of this to me is that God was so kind to me to let me experience growing up in a family that taught me faith-whether I embraced it or not immediately-I KNEW what was true. He has surrounded me throughout my life with family and friends who love me and whom I love dearly. And now he has placed me back home to be in the middle of them. I say perfect timing, Lord! Thank you!

Jeremiah 29:11-13  For I know that plans I have for you , declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”  Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with your whole heart.

I’M BAAAACCCCKKK!!!!!!!

FIRST to all of my followers who have been so faithful to follow me here and yon. I promise i was just trying to make a better experience for everyone, it just didn’t turn out that way. So now we are back where we started with just a few little changes that Diane and I both think will make this blog an easier one to find, to follow and to respond to. Of Course SHE has done all the work! And I want everyone to know I could have never done any of this without Diane! From the first day that she commented on my site she was helping me. She truly has a servant’s heart. For that I think she deserves a grand award.  To show you all how much I love her, I attempted to find an appropriate  design  that I could customize a little. This award picture has taken most of my Saturday, but since I am supposed to be resting and not talking, I thought I was putting the time to good use. Except for all the talking I had to do to my computer to get it to cooperate! I even down loaded a program like photo shop-not that I have ever used photo shop, but I thought how hard can it be? Let’s put it this way- a fifth grader could have beaten me today! But this was a labor of love and I was determined!!  And so dear Diane, I hope you like my HUMANITARIAN AND BEST COMPUTER TECH AWARD  These are the rules: to be given The Award, the  person must have gone beyond the normal bounds to help a fellow blogger.  In the case of this award, it can include anything having to do with technology. For the person receiving the award these are the things they must do: List what two of their bucket list items are.  Tell us a deep,  desire you have never fulfilled.   Tell us who Jesus is to you.   I hope you know I love you Diane and thank you for all of the time and effort.

Still Trusting-And For So Much More Now!

My world has changed  since I last wrote!  First my husband came in my office last week and said he was ready to move to Atlanta!! Now for those of you who do not know me or my background, I moved to Atlanta at age 16, not very happily but eventually it was home. Then in my early to mid 30′s  in 1984 it was,  we moved to Tampa. I was very happy with the move. My parents lived in Orlando and I could see about them regularly. I loved the weather and overall we have done pretty well here. However our children went home to Tampa after college and now that is where my grandchildren are. I am learning every day how short life really is and those precious moments that I could be with them, I’ve been here out of fear in some cases, because I believe I have some extraordinary doctors taking care of me and have wondered how in the world I would replace them. Of course, my Abba Father has brought this to my attention-the lack  of faith on my part that He wouldn’t help me identify the right doctors to take care of me there. And as for the cold, well, I can dress for it. But it is an easy trade to be with my girls-all of them!!

We talked about moving two or three years ago, but at that time, my husband still had that double machine in his chest and was still in a lot of pain and the cold made it worse. So after all of my plans with my wonderful boss, we scrapped it all and stayed.  And of course with the craziness of my body this past 2 years I guess this is where God wanted me to be.  Still, I am very thankful that I can work out arrangements  to continue to work for Gary and MRI, stay insured and widen my client base. I believe I can resurrect some old clients. I was just speaking with 2 of those very special ladies I did work for 10 and 11 years ago for the first time last week. It was pretty thrilling to me to be so well remembered.

Of course we can not leave until next July1 when our lease is up. I know that sounds like such a long time! But  to us and especially to my husband who will bear the brunt of the packing up and the putting back in order this lovely villa just the way we found it, he will need every day of every month that we have!  We have so loved it here. I was planning on seeing if we could sign up for 2 more years right after Christmas, so you can imagine my big surprise! But how lovely a surprise. NOW MS. DIANE, I don’t have to be the little bit jealous of you that I was with your move. I could certainly understand it. I too will be limited in how much I can do or help. which leads me to my second surprise. And this one isn’t so pleasant. I had more of what I would call a seizure coming home from church today. My husband was driving, I had started to say something, but all of a sudden my neck got rigid and my head was turning back and forth and I was saying with difficulty no, not , no, not. My right hand was holding on to the door handle-I thought if I let go of it, my arm would go flying. I don’t know that, that would be true, it was just a feeling.  This went on for a full minute-to a minute and half and now stands as the weirdest thing  that has ever happened to me. A couple of things I did notice and have continued having pain and just weird feeling with is my neck. Especially if I have it tilted down to read or I am paying attention to my hands on the keyboard too long. What I had alluded to last week physically is that I am having some similar issues with my head like I did when I had those tumors back in 2009. I don’t know that this is a reoccurance, because my neck wasn’t involved at all then, and it definitely is now. So after speaking to a sub neurologist, mine was out of town. I will be making calls in the morning and hoping to get some testing done. What I would ask you dear friends is your prayers. There is nothing, absolutely nothing like having your friends and loved ones pray for you. This may come to nothing like in March–but I know it was worse, and harder on me and God forbid that I would have been driving.  So now I have a driver for awhile! So let’s hope and pray that someone will have some answers this time.

 I will try and keep up some regular posts to let you know what’s happening. I realized with Diane not well and moving how hard it was waiting to hear. So I will try and be good about it.

The previous post was written last night. I didn’t publish because I wanted to speak to my boss, my doctor and see what was up before I sent out such a disquieting post!  The bad news is that I had another episode this morning. And I still believe that my neck is somehow involved. We did go down and see my neurologist, but unfortunately, this is not her area of expertise. She had no ideas of what to tell me to do or who to see or even what basic tests could be run-which I can guess myself what 2 basic tests would be. So my surgeon referred me to another doctor right at end of the business day so I will have to call for an appt  tomorrow.. In the meantime, I am working carefully and asking the Lord to protect us, bless us, go before us.

Perfect Peace-Is That Trusting?

I am writing today from my favorite book again, yes, Isaiah.  To be more specific the 26th chapter, verses 3 and 4. And this is what it says:  “You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast because he trust in you. Trust in the Lord forever, for the Lord, the Lord, is the Rock eternal”

So let’s think about perfect peace first. What does that mean to you exactly? I would imagine it could mean a lot of  different things to different people. So for my purposes I’ll try and be a little generic, but you all know my story, so perfect peace for me would mean no worries.  Oh Goodness there is sin! For am I told not to worry to let the Lord take all of my worries? to lay by burden at His feet? I do it a hundred times a day-probably like a lot of you do. But then I take it  back again. Oh I do know better and I certainly don’t want it. Why can’t I leave it at the foot of the cross? This is where I guess I have to make my stand. Out in public Just because I know that my witness for the Lord God of Abraham, Issac and Jacob  must not be sullied. Must ring out clean and clear and true. So this time  I have to leave it at the foot of the cross. I can not go back, again. I have to step out in faith that the Lord, my Abba Father is going to answer me, just as He has time and time before. 

Worries,that is a big all-encompassing word, isn’t it?  I could be talking about my health, my business, my family, my friends, the state of our economy, the election. Oh, I could go on and on. If you want to worry, you can alwasys find something to worry about, but I am not one of those people. I like my “perfect Peace” but you know what? I can’t just snap my fingers and have it!  The verse says you have to have your mind steadfast  because you trust in the Lord. Oh there is that little word again!  Abba Father did say He was going to teach me to trust Him and everytime I turn around that is exactly what is happening! Another trust lesson! These are hard, not funny, and getting old. I am ready to be done with them. But I think I haven’t learned the lesson yet-that’s why it’s back today. The Lord God wants me to trust Him with everything  that I am. With everything I could be or want to be. I think that I do trust that much, but then something happens to show that no, to go the distance on this new situation I have to come up some more.

Verse 4 talks about the Lord being the Rock Eternal. I like mental picture! Solid, able to withstand anything, all things-forever. So when I get the trust thing down, I will be trusting in a/the Lord God Most High, the most amazing God, eternal God Who is that Rock  that protects and shelters. That is exactly what I have to keep my mind on. IS HIM! WHO is MY GOD? I KNOW HIM. He is faithful, a comfort in every time of trouble, Who has sheltered me in cleft of the Rock, Who has carried when I was too weak, to spent to do or go myself. That is who my God is. Will He show up when I need Him too? Absolutely! He doesn’t let His daughter down.

Nothing like the Word of God to put the world in perspective-at least my world. Thank you Lord for your Word. Thank you Lord for yourself and for your sacrifice that I could know you and love you and have you for my Abba Father.

I AM TRUSTING HIM FOR IT ALL!

I hope and pray and trust that you have all read my previous post ‘Prologue Present Day’ and approve.

This week including last Sunday night has been a most difficult week in some ways and then in others, so exciting and celebratory, It was very hard to keep my mouth shut about some things, until I was sure of them.  You see, when I was in that clinic a week and a half a go, I was just sitting waiting for the CBC to done and praying that I wasn’t septic. I certainly had all of the signs. And then all of a sudden, the Lord God says to me, “Cindy you will not get rid of the bacterial infections that you have until you come off of the Remicaid!” If I could have screamed out loud there, I would have!  I could NOT believe that My Father who had seen me suffer so much last year when I had to be off of the medicine for 4 months, would ask me to voluntarily go off of it again. I began to “discuss” this with Him. Of course Discuss is another word for argue, and I have learned a long time ago that the Lord is going to win every argument! But STILL, this wasn’t about winning or losing  or being strong in the faith, it was simple, crippling pain. And not only that the disease itself would progress unchecked and who knew what kind harm it would do?

But then my Father said the magic words ” You don’t trust me!”  Oh yes, I do, my Father, I do. And He said, “I will take care of you through this”.  So what does that mean? Will I have no pain? Am I healed? I don’t know. I know that two great men of God had prayed for my healing.  I know that He has healed me before very miraculously and He got all the glory and honor due Him. Maybe He is going to heal me completely from RA. and/or everything else! Oh that would be a kick and maybe I wouldn’t long for heaven to be here so very soon!

Still, I did ask for confirmation from the Lord. Those were the scriptures I shared with you last week and do you know-every day since it has been one thing or another that  has continued that confirmation? I do thank Him for that because TODAY  I stepped out in Faith. I called my Rheumatologist and told him what God had told me, and retesting confirmed that I still have the bacteria.  He said you know we have to stop everything. I said “I know. but I’ll tell you on Friday why I am not crying and panicking.”  He said “Great I can’t wait to hear”. Now this is my very sweet, nicely brought up in Catholic schools all his life, Doc. But, he still hasn’t come to know my Jesus personally. I have many Catholic Christian friends as I call them, just like I have Baptist Christian friends. Your denomination means nothing to God. It is all about the relationship you have with HIM that makes the difference.  So be praying that our Lord gives me all the right words to speak to my Doctor so that he knows exactly what is happening and who I am putting my faith and trust in.

So my new side job for my book,  is editing the posts for length sometimes or repetitiveness. I have to write an outline of what I intend to include. I decided the only way I can do that is to go through each post. So while you may not see a lot of me for awhile, I may post something for everybody’s approvals or thoughts, but that is what I am working on.

With our world looking like it is going to hell in a hand basket lately, I’ve decided I at least need to be involved in the project that the Lord has given me-whether I finish it or not..

Cindy

THE LORD IS WORKING ON MY TRUST FACTOR

And now it has been a  week again! This time, except for a couple of Doctor appointments, I was in all week, but once again dealing with a bacterial infection. and not much   voice either, but God has beenvery plain spoken with me and I have read the most wonderful  scriptures and devotionals t hat were directed right to me in terms of trusting and of course faith.

I have not been given permission to share all of this yet. but I will share what  I can.

the last 2 -3 weeks have been very difficult physically, regardless of being on antibiotics. I have still had C Diff which is not any fun to have  even if you are on meds. and it was still August, my worst asthma month-it has felt like I have had it all month. Now it  is September and I am starting it off the same way!  And not only me, but I have watched as my family has been attacked. My sister’s husband started his chemo this week. Part of  the “cocktail” is Rituxin. He was on it 20 min, when he started reacting.;He had hives, then the nausea , then a small seizure–all of  this totally freaked both my sister and my brother in law out.And did I mention her youngest son had been out with a virus for most of the week, and her car engine blew something up to the tune  $900$ She called me while I was on the phone with my new BSF Bible teacher–so we immediately prayed.  Then my daughter called. She was on the way to the hospital with my 7  yr old granddaughter. She had a pretty bad  case of bacterial pnuemonia!! I reassured my daughter as much as I could, reminding her that she had also had pneumonia twice one winter and her sister once!! That medically things were so much better now and that I was sure that our girl was going to be fine.I would be praying and so would all my great friends.  (of course I was right. the doc thought 4 days. she was only in for 2)

Suddenly my eyes were opened and I could see that my family is being attached even more than usual==I immediately got on my face before the Lord. I asked Him for  protection because I was going to have to confront this  devil -, I am even having to type this a third time-my words keep disappearing on me!  I remind you Satan who won? I did! Because of Jesus!! Go Back to Hell and Leave ME and MY FAMILY alone in the name of Christ Jesus the Son of the Living God!

So let’s go back to last Sunday night and my first scripture. I will type what I can, but there is a lot. I may have to let you look up too.  or I am send you to a particular blog .  Numbers 23: 19-20  God is not a man,  that he should lie, nor a son of man, t hat he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act?  Does he promise and not fulfill? I have received a command to bless;  he has blessed it, and I cannot change it

Is that not just the most beautiful 2 verses? And given to me 2 minutes after I asked for confirmation!  The Lord really wanted me to know, didn’t he?  And then the next day He sent me to Avie’s Place a blog I follow-what a wonderful teacher of the Word she is! Today is was Psalm 119:1658 Great peace have they who love your law, and nothing can make you stumble.  I wait for your salvation, O Lord, and I follow your commands.  I  obey your statutes, for I love them greatly. I obey your precepts and your statutes, for all my ways are known to you.  This post was about peace, the peace you get when you trust absolutely. and then I think this was next although I wondered why it wasn’t 2nd.  It is 1st Peter 5:8 -9   Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil  prowls around likes a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings.  Now you see why I needed this verse reminder a little earlier?    

Then we went to Ecclesiastes written by the way by Solomon -son of David, a man after God’s own heart When I read David’s story or even Solomon’s story or anyone’s story for that matter, I know once again that God can forgive anyone, anything, anytime, anywhere–JUST BECAUSE HE LOVES US.  But we do have to be obedient…as Solomon discovered late in life as he also finally found the purpose in life. He had looked for it everywhere,  in everything, But of course our purpose is only fulfilled in our Lord–when He fills up that hole in our hearts  we all come with  —and that hole is only filled by the Holy Spirit of God Himself, then, can you know your purpose. We will be talking about that in the future.”

So my week has been all about the Lord talking trust me, Trust me TRUST ME. The first night that He spoke to me, MY  Lord God said “Cindy, I love you, I love you, I love you, I  love you. ..but you don’t trust me.”…his first words almost and when I said,” no,I do trust you,” He again replied,”" no, you don’t trust me, but you will.”  I have come to find out that Trusting the Lord  with all my heart is the most important  thing to Him NEXT to  Honoring and Loving Him and Putting Him first in all Things.-which is the first and greatest commandment. And I will tell you that it is easier to follow than the learning to trust so completely. How very, very hard it is.But  it is what we are called to do and when the Lord singles you out for something and  He consistently confirms it,  You know you have to do it, even if it scares you, and it doesn’t seem the right thing to do. But Obviously I will know soon if I must do this thing.   and if I must then I will be calling  on you to pray for me like never before. I feel like the t he guy in the Raiders of the Lost Ark or the sequel when t hey   were looking for Jesus’ chalice from the last supper.  He had to take a step out on faith that there was a bridge when there was no evidence of a bridge–but of course as soon as he put his foot out there-it was there for  him. I am hoping for that for me. And I should be able to explain further later this week.